Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
And They Ask Why I Like Retirement
Old 01-09-2010, 07:08 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 428
And They Ask Why I Like Retirement

A friend who has retired for four years sent me the post below.

And they ask---Why I Like Retirement

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break or a permanent vacation.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer : If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.



Share this one with all the retirees that you know.

I'm sure they can relate to some of them!

AND, If you have not yet retired, look what you have to look forward to.


Happiness is a voyage, not a destination,
There is no better time to be happy than... NOW
__________________

__________________
Disappointed is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 01-09-2010, 07:15 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,502
cute list!
__________________

__________________
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2010, 07:20 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
My fave is the "tied shoes".
I wear leather loafers all day unless I go mobile or outside. Sneakers are a huge upgrade for footwear for those expeditions.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2010, 08:26 AM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
oma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tampa/St Petersburg, FLA
Posts: 314
I liked the bedtime: 3 hrs after falling asleep on the couch.


-------------------------------------------------------
BTW, my retired neighbor is in PJs all day. Is that a norm for retirement?

I try to at least shave, clean up, dress properly at least by 10 a.m. -
__________________
oma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2010, 02:28 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Goonie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: North-Central Illinois
Posts: 3,198
My fave is:

What do you do all week?

Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.


Hey, doin' nothing really tuckers me out!
__________________
Goonie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 09:04 AM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
RASAP's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 53
The only problem I see with retirement: You never get a day off.
__________________
RASAP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 09:17 AM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
audreyh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Rio Grande Valley
Posts: 16,502
Quote:
Originally Posted by RASAP View Post
The only problem I see with retirement: You never get a day off.
Good one!

I'm so exhausted!

Audrey
__________________
audreyh1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 10:22 AM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
73ss454's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: LaLa Land
Posts: 4,378
We must have the same friend as I also received the same email. (heh)
__________________
73ss454 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 11:22 AM   #9
Moderator Emeritus
CuppaJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At The Cafe
Posts: 6,866
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?

Because there's nothing else on the to-do list. This one really caught my attention because I don't have a basement, attic or garage but I do have closets that could use maintenance... someday, like when RichInTampa fully retires. No rush, no deadlines.
__________________
CuppaJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 11:36 AM   #10
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goonie View Post
My fave is:

What do you do all week?

Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

Hey, doin' nothing really tuckers me out!
That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 01:07 PM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
freebird5825's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: East Nowhere, 43N Latitude, NY
Posts: 9,017
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.
3rd month? My, my, how time flies.

I understand the "feeling". It does go away.
__________________
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney
freebird5825 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2010, 01:42 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
easysurfer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 7,895
Funny list. My fav is this one:

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

For me I qualify the answer with. I don't know what it is I need to get done, but I know it was something.
__________________
easysurfer is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-12-2010, 05:48 AM   #13
Recycles dryer sheets
oma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Tampa/St Petersburg, FLA
Posts: 314
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
That it does. I'm getting better at doing nothing now that I am in my third month as a retiree. I still have an occasional guilty feeling - - like I should look over my shoulder, because surely I am about to get in trouble for goofing off like this. Then I remember that I am retired, and goofing off is my job! I am getting paid to breathe and goof off.

Major guilt feelings here - 46 yr olds aren't supposed to retire. It takes getting used to. Trying to stop explaining my circumstance all the time to new people I meet.
__________________
oma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 05:04 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,764
Will show it to my DW! She can pull the plug now yet she is one of those who loves their job. Oh well Ill keep being that little angle er angel on her shoulder...er or is it the devil
__________________
Notmuchlonger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2010, 08:44 PM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Finance Dave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,046
Typical week as a retiree....

6 Saturdays, one Sunday



P.S. I have five years or so until rehirement
__________________

__________________
Finance Dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
DRINKERs (Dual Retirement Income No-Kids Early Retirement) Kroeran Life after FIRE 58 11-24-2009 07:11 PM
Transitioning from semi-retirement to retirement? RDamien FIRE and Money 0 06-17-2008 02:01 PM
Paritioned portfolios of Target Retirement 20XX for each decade of retirement chinaco FIRE and Money 11 03-15-2007 06:06 PM
Retirement Accounts and Early Retirement heebygeeby Young Dreamers 9 03-14-2007 04:56 PM
Duration of retirement and size of retirement fund Cool Dood FIRE and Money 9 06-28-2006 09:34 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:57 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.