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Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 04:24 PM   #1
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Another clip on the "New" retirement

This clip says many are working towards a 2nd career as retirement is boring. The thought of starting a 2nd career makes me want to puke.

http://www.smartmoney.com/smartmoney...m?story=retire
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 06:11 PM   #2
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by DOG51
This clip says many are working towards a 2nd career as retirement is boring. The thought of starting a 2nd career makes me want to puke.

http://www.smartmoney.com/smartmoney...m?story=retire
It's your deteriorating "work" gene reacting to the thought of work. Thinking about work can be very hazardous to your health. Based on your reaction, i'd say it has deteriorated about 60%. At 70%, you may experience convulsions and at 80%, you could go into shock. I don't want to think about the reaction at 90%.
BTW, lot's of booze and drugs might help eliminate the problem.

So please, please, protect yourselfs, eliminate the though of work and live a long and happy life.

Dr. MJ (retired)

Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor nor would I ever play one on TV not unless they paid me to work. Oh G-d, the pain.....
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 07:14 PM   #3
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by MJ
BTW, lot's of booze and drug might help.

So please, please, protect yourselfs, eliminate the though of work and live a long and happy life.

Dr. MJ (retired)
I'm following your advice. I'm on my 2nd glass of wine as I type this.
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 09:01 PM   #4
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by DOG51
This clip says many are working towards a 2nd career as retirement is boring. The thought of starting a 2nd career makes me want to puke.
I have an idea for a new reality show. In the spirit of Dilbert's Lazy Entrepreneurs, when you make your millions pitching this to Mark Burnett, I'll tell you which charity to give 0.1% of your gross.

Let's take all these "rewired & refired 2nd career retirees" and do a little forensic accounting on their lifestyle. Our team of reality CPAs will determine their spending for the previous three years, update it for retirement changes (no office commute, no more drycleaning, maybe no more mortgage) and show these "reality retirees" how we came up with a monthly stipend of a 4% SWR appropriate to their expense history. (Many fine companies will want to sponsor this show, so budget won't be an issue.) Ideally the retirees will already have a retirement portfolio equivalent to or greater than this monthly stipend. If they don't have enough assets for their "ER expenses" then we'll note that as part of our profile during the show's pilot episode (perhaps with the "Jaws" theme running in the background).

Once we have the data & figures, we'll sit these retirees down to a contract similar to the one signed by the Survivor veterans. For a period of six months we'll freeze their real-world portfolios (and their debts) and simply pay them our calculated 4% SWR stipend for their expenses. We'll guarantee that at the end of the six months their portfolios will be no worse off than they are today-- we don't want anyone worrying about their money for a while. For the duration of the show, if they don't have enough assets in their retirement portfolio to equal a 4% SWR, then maybe we should cut things back to the "possum living" level. However we want this stipend to be high enough to allow these people to enjoy at least a frugal ER without deprivation. (Whoever said that "reality shows" had to be realistic?)

Their part of the deal is to give us complete voyeuristic video access to their lives. We want to document their transition, their new lifestyle, their hopes & fears, and generally "what they do all day". Maybe we want them to be interviewed by Dr. Phil, Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, and other talk-show hosts. Maybe Simon Cowell could follow them around and critique their daily routine. We want to know all about their metamorphosis from "workers" to "people of leisure". Essentially we want to pay these people to be responsible for their own entertainment for SIX WHOLE MONTHS!

If they can't hack it, they can "quit" at any time. We'll send them back to a McJob and document the whole experience on prime-time TV. (I'm thinking FOX network, of course.) If they want to "consult" or "dabble with a startup" then we'll deduct an appropriate amount from their real-world portfolio to reflect their startup risks & expenses.

Maybe we'll stage a few faked "reality" competitions. We'll ask them to open accounts on this board and post at least once a day, and then we'll judge who did the best job (it won't be based on total # of posts!). We'll make them keep logs of "what they do all day". We'll force them to get up no earlier than 8 AM and accomplish nothing before noon. We'll encourage them to start exercise or eating programs that will return them to the physical habits of their teens or 20s. We'll make them spend a few hours in a cubicle sorting paperwork and ask them how they felt about this "simulated work" experience. Maybe we'll even make them take golf or surfing lessons!

They'll be expressly forbidden from lunching with co-workers, checking office e-mail or faxes, or putting in desk time on current projects. They will have to interact with their families. They'll have to either maintain their homes or adopt a perpetual-traveler lifestyle. However they will not be allowed to completely redecorate the house, relandscape the yard, train for an Ironman, or write the Great American Novel.

Any attempts to evade our video surveillance to actually accomplish career-related "work" will be grounds for instant dismissal. Deluded enterpreneurs caught in the act of attempting to coordinate funding & support for their own startup businesses during the taping of the show will be dismissed and then electrocuted on either the "Tonight Show" or Letterman. (We'll auction that event to the highest bidder.)

After six months, we'll meet with the "survivors", preferably on a Friday of a holiday weekend, and we'll show them the videos from their initial interviews. (This is intended to have the same impact as the "Biggest Loser" contestants being shown the life-size photos of their original bodies before they sweated off all that fat.) By the end of our little review session, these retirees will see just how much they've changed their lives and their attitudes.

On the following Tuesday we'll wake them up at 5:30 AM and give them a choice-- go back to work or phone in their resignations. We might have to arrange the shooting schedule for this event to occur in early February, or at least right after a horrendous snowstorm.

Six months later we'll do a followup.

I suspect that the show's structure (and its financial safety net) will enable these "refires" to make the transition that they were unable (or unwilling) to make on their own. Freed of worrying about money and forced to truly focus on how they'll use their time, they'll start taking the baby steps that will eventually enable them to be independent & confident ERs. Faced with the ultimate reality check (having to go to work next week!) I think that most of our contestants will make the right choice.

Winners will be given a loaded shotgun and a GPS receiver. The transmitter will be surgically attached to Dick Cheney or one of his hunting companions.

We're the real winners. We won't have to read that "I'm boooored, I wanna go back to wooooork" crap in the financial & lifestyle magazines anymore!

Please let me know if you're interested in managing this project or merely contributing start-up equity. There will only be a few limited opportunities to get in on the ground floor of this investment.

Some of you may want to play along from home, simulating this experience with your own 4% SWR and an extended vacation or sabbatical. If you do, please write in and let us know how it turned out. We'll send you the family version of our board game, give you tickets to our next studio audience, and perhaps even profile you on the show!
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 09:53 PM   #5
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Nords,
THis is hilarious. I think you're yearning to discover your own second career now as a TV producer. You've definitely got the touch. Either that or are watching a little too much reality programming?

This might actually have a wider audience than just the people who hang out here. I do think the public at large is morbidly interested in what happens when people leave the cubicle life -- sort of like dying and trusting you'll reincarnate or something.
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-15-2006, 10:01 PM   #6
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

I think that I would like to be a contestant! I don't think that I could do the cameras following you around routine, but the rest of it sounds good.

We have been offered early out and have to leave no later than 09/02/06. I called and asked them how soon one could leave and they called back and said anytime. Now I am excited , but also very apprehensive! My birthday is next month and I will be 53, so the pension reduction would be less and if I work until my service comp date, 08/21/06, then I would have worked for 33 yrs for the gov, or are these just excuses for being apprehensive? Who knows? I need to get my head on straight regarding retirement!

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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 08:19 AM   #7
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Dreamer,

You have to decide how much is "enough." If you keep looking at how much more you will have next year, you will never leave, because it will always be more. That's why I'm leaving at 59 with only 27 years. It's enough and staying longer just isn't worth it.

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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 12:45 PM   #8
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by setab
It's enough and staying longer just isn't worth it.
Isn't it great that most of us here, were born with that pesky defective work gene. The more it deteriorates as you age, the more the urge to separate from w**k.

It's another festivus miracle.

By the way, counter to the President's stance on stem cell research, I hear the guvment is doing secret research to find a cure to correct the defective work gene.
The cure would resolve the SS problem, provide companies with cheap aging labor and eliminate the part of the aging population through work related stress.

"oh no, it's the big one, Elizabeth"

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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 01:19 PM   #9
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
We won't have to read that "I'm boooored, I wanna go back to wooooork" crap in the financial & lifestyle magazines anymore!
I have one of those, the guy two houses up from me. Retired last year after his wife passed away. I dont talk to him much, usually just at the mailbox or when I take gabe for a walk and run into him out front of his house. Every time, the first thing out of his mouth is "I hate being retired! I dont know what to do with myself". I usually throw out "try having a baby" or "I dont have that problem!". The other day I wasnt in a good mood and told him "Then you should go back to work!". Day before yesterday i'm unloading thirty metric tons of wood from my truck to build my pergola with and I see him ambling out to the mailbox. "After working in a sawmill all my life, I cant even stand to look at wood!".

I think we've gotten to the bottom of the problem. Chronic complaint disorder is at least partially absorbed by unsatisfying work. Or at least redirected or diluted.
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 01:40 PM   #10
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

CFB,

Chronic Complaint Disorder (CCD); quick, send it to a drug company and demand a royalty. They will develop another meaningless pill for it and you will both make money. However, there may be side effects in rare cases which include dry mouth, irritability, melancholy, depression, dissatisfaction with life and a preoccupation with wanting to go back to work.


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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 01:50 PM   #11
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by (Cute Fuzzy Bunny)

I think we've gotten to the bottom of the problem.* Chronic complaint disorder is at least partially absorbed by unsatisfying work.* Or at least redirected or diluted.
CFB,

Another aspect of his "issues" may be due to the loss of his wife last year. Unless one have been down that road they don't know what it is truly like and what it does to your outlook on the rest of your life. Death of your spouse changes your outlook on the future. What you expected to do in later life with a spouse i.e., retirement and sharing time together, travel, projects etc. is no longer an option. It take time to find a new direction for your future. This guy may need to find a part time activity to find an outlet for his empty time. Being alone with nothing to do can be a living hell. That was one reason I did not ER three years ago. W**k was an outlet for me and gave me some structure where there was none. I don't need the structure now and am just padding my nest egg but I am thankful now I did not quit my job like I wanted to a thousand times after my wife died.

Just another way to look at his situation.

He may be responsible for his own entertainment but he may also be in no shape to plan it.
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 01:55 PM   #12
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Steve,

A heartfelt and sensitive reply. Well said.

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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 01:59 PM   #13
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveR
He may be responsible for his own entertainment but he may also be in no shape to plan it.
Great point.

While losing my spouse would simply rip my guts out, I also can't stand to see people make their sole reason for their existence become inescapably linked to being dependent on others. *

At some point they have to learn how to take charge of finding their own happiness... or else they're soon gonna rejoin that dearly departed. *And how would killing themselves honor the memory of their loved one?
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 02:12 PM   #14
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Great point.

While losing my spouse would simply rip my guts out, I also can't stand to see people make their sole reason for their existence become inescapably linked to being dependent on others.

At some point they have to learn how to take charge of finding their own happiness... or else they're soon gonna rejoin that dearly departed. And how would killing themselves honor the memory of their loved one?
I'm in agreement with you on principle, but after observing my sister-in-law and also my best friend's wife deal with the death of their spouses, I think it's something you have to actually experience to truly understand.

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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement
Old 02-16-2006, 02:20 PM   #15
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Re: Another clip on the "New" retirement

My post was sort of anecdotally tongue in cheek. But thanks for policing my thoughtlessness.

The guy actually has plenty of entertainment going on, and was just as much of a complainer before his wife died and he retired.

All the neighbors feel bad for the guy and spend plenty of time with him, for two reasons other than the deceased spouse. One is that he has a developmentally challenged son in his 30's that he takes care of. The other is that his wife expired in the car in a fast food parking lot with the son in the car. She got her door open and turned on the hazard flashers, then they sat there for three hours before anyone stopped to ask if there was a problem.

Aside from the horrifying circumstances, she was ill for a long time before she passed on and it wasnt much of a surprise. Emphysema and chronic heart problems from smoking three packs a day all her life.
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