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Old 08-10-2014, 10:51 AM   #21
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Umm .... could he be concerned that he'll be alone if GF doesn't come? Why can't you visit him at the holidays or did I miss read?? Should he come to you?? IMHO I think he is afraid of being alone then. Plan a trip where it happens. Skype isn't the best way when he's old

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Old 08-10-2014, 12:27 PM   #22
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Thanks, BB.

hanks, to all of you, for the feedback. I am SO tempted to arrange a trip to a FL beach right now....but, this does not appear to be a great time.
Don't come to Florida now it's incredibly hot and some of the beaches are closed due to bacteria . I would go to Ma & get this thing settled . I would also be seriously researching assisted living homes in Maine . $8,000 a month should make your search easier . It is much easier getting someone in an Assisted Living facility now while they are still mobile .$1000 a month is a drop in the bucket to what home health costs plus they are not always reliable & there are some who take advantage of the elderly . A close family friend had her house basically stripped of all valuables when she had Alzheimer's and wanted to stay at home with caregivers .By the time you get this taken care of it will be late October early November . The absolute best time to visit Florida .
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Old 08-10-2014, 09:09 PM   #23
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Clarification: FIL spends Christmas holidays with his daughter, grandson, DIL, and great-granddaughter. We stay here and celebrate with our kids. If we ever thought FIL would be alone, we would re-arrange plans, certainly.

Late last night, DH received a text from his nephew....said he expects FIL to move to assisted living next week and can we help? So, we stay on alert. Different minds change on different days.

FL is fine in October/November? as in Seaside/Destin (somewhere around there) areas? That may be perfect timing, no kidding. We are good with that idea.
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Old 08-11-2014, 08:45 AM   #24
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FL is fine in October/November? as in Seaside/Destin (somewhere around there) areas? That may be perfect timing, no kidding. We are good with that idea.
Florida is perfect at that time . The gulf is still warm enough for swimming and it is not too crowded with tourists yet . Late October and early November are usually perfect weather wise and slightly cheaper for accomadations.
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:46 PM   #25
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On my dad's side, his wacko ex-wife talked him into moving out of state as "roommates" - then she got him to buy the house, stole money from him, could not talk him into changing his will, so got him to set up the house and his bank accounts to go to her if he died. Then she kicked him out of the house after trying to have him committed. I am working on unraveling all of this now. It's a nightmare and I am sure I will be flying to Colorado for lawsuits soon to at least get the house out from under her.

So yes, it can be much worse.
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Old 08-16-2014, 09:46 PM   #26
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BellBarbara,

Gee whiz, I am so sorry to hear this. Always a crazier story.

FIL called assisted living on Thursday and had them send a van to pick him up so he could sign the lease. Atty called DH yesterday to update him. DH asked if that could be so bad and atty said, "Yes, he is legally blind and has no idea what he signed." Atty says he will check this out. FIL is thrilled because assisted living fed him lunch that day.

Crazy stuff. Sorry you are dealing with it.


Say not you know another entirely till you have divided an inheritance with him.

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and, what do you do? except assist the best you can. Advice does not work for us. FIL does not welcome advice from family.

Many piranhas while we try to be honorable. More difficult than it sounds.

DH and i often double-guess ourselves....asking each other questions. Is THIS in his dad's best interest? Afraid to say much to FIL for fear he will send us to the curb.

Have i mentioned he is extremely gruff and suspects family members are after his assets? Granted, he trusts DH more than other family members....but still....not THAT much.
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