Any Eldercare Forum Web Sites That You'd Recommend?

Mo Money

Mo Money

Recycles dryer sheets
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I am in the process of getting my Dad out of a nursing home, where he did a two-week stint in physical therapy after a bout with pneumonia and an irregular heartbeat. He's 80, as is my Mom.

Mom, however, has dementia and/or Alzheimer's. (Medical diagnosis pending.) So she is relatively worthless in assisting with domestic chores at their home. She just walks around confused and a bit scared, poor thing.

I am reviewing old Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Powers of Attorney, the Wills, and am otherwise getting ready to take over managing their modest-but-not-hopeless finances. (I'd guess $500K net worth, which a nursing home could/will eat up in a heartbeat.)

I have gotten tons of terrific guidance on this forum. Can any of you folks recommend a site that (hopefully) rivals this one, but that deals with aging parents?

I am going to ask my SO to push me down a flight of stairs when I get dotty. A long, long flight of stairs.... :(
 
Mo Money said:
I am in the process of getting my Dad out of a nursing home, where he did a two-week stint in physical therapy after a bout with pneumonia and an irregular heartbeat. He's 80, as is my Mom.



Mom, however, has dementia and/or Alzheimer's. (Medical diagnosis pending.) So she is relatively worthless in assisting with domestic chores at their home. She just walks around confused and a bit scared, poor thing.



I am reviewing old Powers of Attorney and Healthcare Powers of Attorney, the Wills, and am otherwise getting ready to take over managing their modest-but-not-hopeless finances. (I'd guess $500K net worth, which a nursing home could/will eat up in a heartbeat.)



I have gotten tons of terrific guidance on this forum. Can any of you folks recommend a site that (hopefully) rivals this one, but that deals with aging parents?



I am going to ask my SO to push me down a flight of stairs when I get dotty. A long, long flight of stairs.... :(
Click to expand...


I sent you a PM.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
If you haven't already (and it sounds like you may have) go see an elderlaw attorney. We did with FIL and the advice, while expensive, was well worth it. Saved us much gnashing of teeth and some of his estate.
 
I've been down this road with my Mom and now with my FIL. I suggest an elder lawyer and, if finances permit, assisted living for both. Many of us want to help our parents by having them move in with us. I don't recommend that option as it will quickly deteriorate your life. My mother had Alzheimer and it took an army to care for her.

We all do our best with this situation and not every solution will be a cookie cutter one.
The elder lawyer will assist you in sheltering some of their income. I should have hired one sooner. I'm so sorry that you're facing this situation, but know that you're not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime.
 
I would be very interested too. My 85 year old Dad has all his mental and communicative faculties, but physically feeble. His walking is slower and slower (very slow now) and I don't know how much longer he can drive. He lives alone, has a house cleaner, but no other help. He'll have to move to assisted living at some point in the near future.
 
Mo Money....I would speak to the social workers before your Dad is discharged from the SNF about any services your parents might need at home (I'm presuming they still live independently). They can be an excellent resource and referral source. They are well-versed in making safe discharge recommendations if you make them aware of any concerns.

Also, if your Dad gets any Medicare nurses, physical therapy or social workers coming to their home short-term upon discharge, they might have suggestions about adaptive modalities, lists of private pay agencies/individuals and other community resources. I think a first responder necklace/bracelet/system should be considered.

You might also get some materials or an in home evaluation from your parent's Area Agency on Aging. Here in PA they are funded by the PA Lottery. I believe Faith in Action (a United Way agency) has volunteers who can provide a little respite, transportation to doctors on occasion, shopping, etc. also.

I don't know if your Mom would be amenable to attending an adult day program a day or two a week. She might benefit from some of the rehabilitative therapies available in a secure and supportive environment and also get some peer socialization outside the home. It would also give your Dad some time to go to doctors appointments or just rest at home.

You might also start evaluating possible future assisted living accommodations for your parents. It is best to do this while not in crisis mode and you can get some idea if wait lists are involved. Some places have different levels of care on one campus. I am "only" 61 but I have in the back of my mind a couple of places near me that I would consider for myself if something untoward would befall me.

Best wishes.
 
I once found a website that had cost info for some of the locations but don't have that bookmark anymore. This article might give you a starting point.
If they can get in a apartment together so he can guide your Mom but still have help for his needs. Once they do a buy in,maybe from home equity, the monthly costs should be met by social security and a SFRfor their age.
http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/03/ccrc-fees-prepare-to-be-bewildered/?_r=0
 
Thank you all for your input. This is a greate place to get advice.
 
Each year, as open enrollment approaches, work with a state health insurance counselor (SHIP) to determine the best prescription plan for your folks. The counselor needs a list of medications and dosages, and the name of the pharmacy.

Just because the current plan is good for this year, does not mean it will be a good choice for the next year.
 
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