Anyone Feel Guilty?

[NW-Bound]

Should people who are successful investors feel guilty too? There are other people who lost their shirt buying the wrong stocks, or kept buying high selling low.

I dunno. I do not feel guilty, but I hope that I will stay grateful.

 

[NW-Bound]

With the market going up like today, I feel fear, not guilt. The more this goes on, the more I sense déjà vu.

 

[John Galt III]

Yes, I used to feel guilt about "retiring". But I think there was some fear mixed in too. Fear of having to define who I would be in my new life. Before, it was easy to just let the job define me.

 

[pb4uski]

....Here's my question to those who retired. Did you feel guilty about retiring??

I could stay and work till I am 75 and bring more money in and help out many in our immediate family as well as give more to charities, so many of them deserving. Just the idea of no longer working after 34 yrs, I almost feel that I am being selfish and should help others.....

Not at all. I felt fortunate to have play my cards so I was postured to be able to retire.

I help others in other ways. I am now free to do small projects here and there for friends and family and derive satisfaction from that.

 

[NW-Bound]

About giving up the work that I loved and got well-paid for it, I did not feel guilty, but greedy. It was good money I was making. What to do with that extra money? Well, just add that to the stash to watch it grow is satisfying. Without it, it is more difficult to set new high-water marks, as I found out.

And about charity gifts, last year that added 0.5% to our WR. Did I do that to ease my conscience? Maybe it was. Now I sleep very well.

"Conscience is the part that hurts, while the rest of your body feels so good." - Anon.

 

[travelover]

My former employer decided that it was in their best interest to pay me NOT to come into work. Guilty? Ya gotta be kidding.

 

[Onward]

The rest of the world should feel guilty for making me have to work.

Bingo.

I would modify it slightly to read, "The rest of the world should feel guilty for making me endure the corporate experience," whose torments have nothing to do with real work.

 

[travelover]

Bingo.

I would modify it slightly to read, "The rest of the world should feel guilty for making me endure the corporate experience," whose torments have nothing to do with real work.

At MegaMotors we had an saying - "in the real world, that guy would be driving a soda delivery truck".

 

[MBAustin]

Welcome! The other thread referenced above contains my thoughts.

Interestingly, DD (in her 20s) told me recently that she thinks I would be seriously ill or dead if I hadn't retired when I did - from her view, my w*rk was extremely toxic. That actually made me feel even better about my decision to RE nearly 4 years ago.

 

[kannon]

Many thanks to everyone. What a great website this is - really enjoy all of the thoughts. Key summary:
Time> Money
Time, Talent, Treasure
Other ways to give
".... never seems enough ...."

Thanks again. I think too some part of this is fear, not guilt. I have been working since I was 11 yrs old (worked with brother on lawn mowing). 45 yrs of identifying myself as working. Big change.

I do plan to up my time volunteering and also up our charity support. But the thought too of sleeping past my 4:30am wake up is selfishly very appealing. Have to find someway of dealing with the small guilt I think will always be there - thinking Starbucks or more gym time,

Best to all those retired.

Kannon

 

[Andre1969]

I don't know if "guilty" is the right word, but I do feel something, compared to some of my friends who aren't doing as well as me. Maybe some form of "surivor's guilt"? Tomorrow, I'm riding up with a friend to a classic car show in Carlisle, PA. He has a '78 Lincoln Mark V he's putting in the show. He's also upside-down on his home, has a lot of other debt, very little saved up for retirement. And just got laid off last week. Worse, the job he got laid off from was a step down from a better paying job he got laid off from about 4-5 years ago. So, he's in a bit of a rough spot now.

Now, he's lived beyond his means for years...some expensive upgrades to his house, frequent expensive vacations, nice cars, etc. So, much of the situation is his own doing. Still, I feel bad for the guy.

Another feeling that I have, I don't think is guilt so much, but a questioning of my own abilities. I've never been laid off or fired, so I have no idea of how I would cope with it. My friend, at least, has experience, and will no doubt land on his feet again and score a comparable job. I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do that, if I was in the same situation.

 

[longranger]

I am not retired yet and already feel sad for friends and family that will likely be in terrible financial situations once they can no longer work. No guilt. Got to where we are by hard work, some good luck and an acceptable level of sacrifice in terms of luxuries. It is very unlikely that we will have enough cushion to be philanthropic, even with family. At least we will not be a burden to our kids or friends.

 

[Original Wally]

Ummmm... NO!!!! I am 4 1/2 years downstream, FIRE @ 55 1/2. **My** view is this: Not ONE of us knows 100% how much time (incl QUALITY of time) we have in retirement. BUT I know this - Every day at work is ONE LESS in retirement, whatever the retirement number is.

 

[seraphim]

No guilt whatsoever. I put my time in, gave my best effort, took my hits and rewards, and left when it was time for me to go. Opened an opportunity for someone else. They'll do fine without me.

 

[Derslickmeister]

By retiring, you are creating a job opening for someone else - that's helping the unemployed.

Seriously, I retired at the age of 48 and have never felt guilty or that it was the wrong thing to do. In my former career, I was pretty good at what I did, but I learned a long time ago that no one is irreplaceable. If I'm not there to help the team, someone else will fill that void. And now that I'm retired, my days are so much more enjoyable.

+1 When I first saw the title I thought you were feeling guilty for holding that Gov job for so long. There are lots of young up and comers looking to get started and need more FIRE's to move on down the line, it's their turn I'm trying my best to get out of the way...

 

[GravitySucks]

Hell No!

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[ziggy29]

Since my "retirement" (or semi-retirement at the moment) was triggered by corporate downsizing after 26 highly regarded years in the industry, no, not at all. I worked my butt off and saved/invested like hell for the last 15 years of that time (and some before then, too), and that proved to be the sugar that helped me make sweet lemonade out of the lemons my former employer laid on my lap.

 

[eytonxav]

Look at it this way if you are feeling guilty; if you leave, you are likely creating job opportunities for those younger than you to hopefully enjoy the american dream.

 

[ziggy29]

Look at it this way if you are feeling guilty; if you leave, you are likely creating job opportunities for those younger than you to hopefully enjoy the american dream.

This is what I always tell people when they say early retirement is selfish. I tell them what is *really* selfish is holding on to a job you no longer need instead of passing it on to someone else who probably needs it a lot more than you do.

 

[RockyMtn]

Let's see...did anyone feel empathy for me when:

I was living below my means in order to save and invest?
Working 60 hours a week?
Travelling three weeks out of every month to advance my career and earning potential?

No they did not...so why would I feel even one pang of guilt for being able to retire when I did?

 

[photoguy]

The problem is that growing up there were all sorts of expectations from family, school, community that one should not be a slacker. Being an E.R. feels like one is a slacker / beach bum.

Although I recognize these biases, they are still ingrained in me somewhat (working on getting rid of them).

 

[kcowan]

The decision is yours alone. As you can see from responses in this "retire early" forum, most of us here are for doing it. To get some balance, you need to ask your question in the workaholics forum too!

For me, I enjoyed my work. I was highly rewarded. But my Dad had worked until age 65 only to experience his wife dying of cancer the month he retired. I vowed that I would retire early and I did. (He lived alone for 30 years.)

Many of my friends could not understand it. I told the above story. After 12 years, I am still happy I did it.

 

[W2R]

The problem is that growing up there were all sorts of expectations from family, school, community that one should not be a slacker. Being an E.R. feels like one is a slacker / beach bum.

Although I recognize these biases, they are still ingrained in me somewhat (working on getting rid of them).

I look at it this way - - I gave decades, essentially all of my pre-retirement life, to fulfilling society's expectations that you mention above. I did everything the right way, or at least in what I had been taught was the right way. But amazingly, through the years I discovered that this set-up was actually very one-sided. Nobody ever fulfilled MY expectations/wishes/demands during that time, such as helping me to pay for my education or to get a loan, helping me to set up my first apartment, helping me to find a job, or really giving me anything I hadn't earned for myself from scratch ten times over. Everything had to be done the hard way and you just can't get a break. I don't expect an easy path in life, but neither do I like playing the role of victim. I got pretty tired of fulfilling the world's expectations and few of my own, after 60 years or so.

I finally decided that retirement is the perfect time to say, "Enough! Time for me to enjoy the fruits of my labor and what is left of my life, before I am dead and buried. And if you don't like it, stuff it. This time is MINE."

Luckily I am one of the older retirees here (age 61.5 when I retired), so I don't get as much flack about it as some of you younger retirees. That probably makes it easier to take that attitude. I can honestly say that I am completely guilt free in retirement.

 

[razztazz]

Yes, there were lots of "expectations". And I knew exactly what to expect from the "Expectors". All the people I knew growing up who were always puking on about "work hard"/"hard work" were themselves usually not working very hard except at demeaning other people (mostly young people) about working hard/hard work. The others might have been actually working busily but in the workaholic/Bang you head Against the Wall/work for work's sake/look at me I'm up on some kind of a Cross, kind of way.

 

[LoneAspen]

I finally decided that retirement is the perfect time to say, "Enough! Time for me to enjoy the fruits of my labor and what is left of my life, before I am dead and buried. And if you don't like it, stuff it. This time is MINE."

Very well put!