Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anyone Feel Guilty?
Old 06-04-2014, 08:03 PM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 212
Anyone Feel Guilty?

Hello All -

First off - great website. I have enjoyed the exchange of information across many different topics. Up till now, never posted.

My status. After working for federal gov't for 34 yrs, I have decided to go out at the end of year. Financially between my pension, wife pension, SS, and investments I am pretty sure we can live a comfortable retirement as well as help out our children and various charities.

I am at the peak of my profession, will not find a position after retiring that pays as well. Once I leave federal gov't, there is no way to get my old income back. I am not sure what I want to do after retiring but for sure I know the income will be less.

Here's my question to those who retired. Did you feel guilty about retiring??

I could stay and work till I am 75 and bring more money in and help out many in our immediate family as well as give more to charities, so many of them deserving. Just the idea of no longer working after 34 yrs, I almost feel that I am being selfish and should help others.

Curious how others felt.

Thanks
kannon is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-04-2014, 08:06 PM   #2
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Dallas
Posts: 25
Guilty Are you kidding?!
tbilltubbs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:15 PM   #3
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Major Tom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 4,324
There was a recent thread that discussed this. You're not the only one who has felt this way kannon.

No doubt there are other threads on this, and similar subjects.
__________________
Contentedly ER, with 3 furry friends (now, sadly, 1).
Planning my escape to the wide open spaces in my campervan (with my remaining kitty, of course!)
On a mission to become the world's second most boring man.

Major Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:18 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 18,085
Hell, no. I suffered plenty during my career, this is just desserts. Even to this day I find myself fending off job offers.
__________________
"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

- George Orwell

Ezekiel 23:20
brewer12345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:19 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Nodak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Cavalier
Posts: 2,317
I retired from working for federal gov't 7 years ago, have never felt guilty.
__________________
"Don't take life so serious, son. It ain't nohow permanent." Pogo Possum (Walt Kelly)
Nodak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:26 PM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 9,343
You probably need to be asking yourself if you will enjoy retirement. I didn't see you mention anywhere that you are looking forward to it. Although you may not be able to help family members by continuing to work, you sure will help someone else by opening up a government position somewhere that will assist in their future retirement.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Mulligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:28 PM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,963
The rest of the world should feel guilty for making me have to work.

There. I said it.
razztazz is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2014, 08:45 PM   #8
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Yuma AZ
Posts: 274
I was FERS. I left at the earliest date I was told I could. My only "regret" is the wife will not also walk, and wants to keep working.
unno2002 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 04:13 AM   #9
Full time employment: Posting here.
Richard4444's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 551
Quote:
Originally Posted by kannon View Post

Here's my question to those who retired. Did you feel guilty about retiring??

Just the idea of no longer working after 34 yrs, I almost feel that I am being selfish and should help others.

Curious how others felt.

Thanks
Guilty? No.

I have volunteered continuously since FIRE and have helped many others.

Not w*rking does not mean that you are selfish.

Rich
Richard4444 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 06:32 AM   #10
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 150
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard4444 View Post
Guilty? No.

I have volunteered continuously since FIRE and have helped many others.

Not w*rking does not mean that you are selfish.

Rich
+1
__________________
Best!
-AJ
ajs56 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 06:59 AM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
athena53's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,326
I do, a little. Yes, I worked hard and didn't buy every flashy thing that caught my eye but that's true of many people who retired with less but weren't gifted with the same marketable skills or who had setbacks such as major unreimbursed medical expenses or prolonged unemployment. We touched base with the realtor who sold us our house in 2003 to talk about downsizing- a smart, hard-working woman who knows the market- and she said she spent most of her retirement savings for living expenses during the recession. There but for the grace of God...

We've also donated generously to charity over the years. My highest earnings were in 2011 (extraordinary bonus at work, didn't get that in 2012, then moved to a job paying 10% less in late 2012). We still increased our church pledge every year. Now, with little or no wage income in 2015 (I may do some temporary gigs for amusement), we may cut back. DH has no problem with it but I feel bad- a small increase wouldn't kill us. OTOH, I'm free to do real hands-on work and I'm really happy about that.
athena53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 07:27 AM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 14,183
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 07:30 AM   #13
Administrator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 40,589
Money is just one way to give back. Qualified people are not easy to find and many organizations would consider the gift of time of a skilled professional to be even more valuable. Once financial independence is reached anyone feeling the desire to continue giving should have no difficulty doing so after retiring.
MichaelB is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 07:49 AM   #14
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 838
Quote:
Originally Posted by kannon View Post
... Just the idea of no longer working after 34 yrs, I almost feel that I am being selfish and should help others.
By retiring, you are creating a job opening for someone else - that's helping the unemployed.

Seriously, I retired at the age of 48 and have never felt guilty or that it was the wrong thing to do. In my former career, I was pretty good at what I did, but I learned a long time ago that no one is irreplaceable. If I'm not there to help the team, someone else will fill that void. And now that I'm retired, my days are so much more enjoyable.
DayDreaming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 09:17 AM   #15
Moderator
rodi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,171
Question -
Do you look at others who've retired as selfish, or as people who should feel guilty?
If so - why?
If not - why do you feel guilty when you don't judge others?

I'm happy for my coworkers who've retired early. (3 within the past 6 months!)

That said - several coworkers have talked about how "lucky" they were. Yeah - lucky that they lived below their means, paid off their mortgages, saved more than they spent. One of the gripers actually said it was "lucky" that one of them lost his dad (and inherited). I know for a fact the inheritance was small and not a factor, and he'd MUCH rather have his dad around. Lucky.... um, not.

People who aren't able to retire tend to find ways to suggest it can't be done without a windfall. There are enough posters here who prove them wrong.
rodi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 09:33 AM   #16
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
athena53's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 7,326
Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi View Post
That said - several coworkers have talked about how "lucky" they were. Yeah - lucky that they lived below their means, paid off their mortgages, saved more than they spent. One of the gripers actually said it was "lucky" that one of them lost his dad (and inherited). I know for a fact the inheritance was small and not a factor, and he'd MUCH rather have his dad around. Lucky.... um, not.
An old boss once told me, "Luck is the distillation of effort". And inheritances can be squandered. It's a conscious decision to invest it instead of spending it on a new Escalade.
athena53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 09:49 AM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Major Tom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: SF East Bay
Posts: 4,324
This does sound like a question you will have to answer for yourself. We are all different, as can be seen from the responses above.

If you feel a strong responsibility to continue earning so that you can help others financially, you may not be happy if you are not able to do that. If you're only feeling slight guilt at the thought of retiring though, perhaps some of the replies here will help you get over it!

It sounds from your original post, that you will still be able to help others out, just to a lesser extent. If you can be comfortable with this lesser amount of giving, go ahead and retire.

In retirement, as in my working life, I have thought mainly of myself. I'm not married and have no kids, so have no direct family members that I feel a responsibility to. I have volunteered a little as well as given to charity (small amounts commensurate with my low income). I have also helped out friends financially on occasion, once with a fairly substantial sum. However, there are other friends I have helped in the past who, if they need help again, may need to be turned down, as I have to think more carefully about what I do with my money now. I am OK with this.

It's all up to you. It's hard to know how things will be when you're retired but if you'll still be in a position to give, do you think you can be comfortable still giving, but to a lesser extent? As others have said, you can also give of your time.
__________________
Contentedly ER, with 3 furry friends (now, sadly, 1).
Planning my escape to the wide open spaces in my campervan (with my remaining kitty, of course!)
On a mission to become the world's second most boring man.

Major Tom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 09:57 AM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
RunningBum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 13,203
Nope. Like others, I volunteer more. I can also spend more time with family, plus it's debatable whether helping them financially is really helping them with life. Even so, I'm still able to help some of them somewhat, especially my own son. I also didn't think my job was providing much benefit to society anymore. A lot of it was similar to doing "Office Space"-type TPF reports. Everyone's situation is different, but I feel no guilt.
RunningBum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 10:18 AM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
MRG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 11,078
I may be jaded right now. One of my former co-w*rkers just died of a heart attack at age 51. I've seen far too many go at even younger ages. So no I don't feel guilty. I can't help anyone from the other side, I firmly believe stress is a major contributor to disease.

I can identify with being at the top of your earnings potential. I had to come to terms with that. I did the OMY thing for a year or more, then the stress pushed me out last year. If it hadn't, well who knows? Your post says you still plan on helping others, I'm not sure a bigger dollar amount equals more help. Maybe, for me, it is about the quality of help.
In the end only you'll know when the time is right.
Best wishes,
MRG
MRG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2014, 11:21 AM   #20
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
SumDay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,862
Our Pastor often talks about Time, Talent and Treasure. You'll have a lot more of the first two, and can spread it around to your heart's content. There are lots of people (and children) who could benefit from both.

But to answer your question, yes, I often feel guilty when I look at those around me who work hard, yet struggle mightily. Right now I have guilt about our net worth (go ahead, shoot me). I imagine it will magnify when I retire.

Congrats on a long, valiant career for Uncle Sam, and best wishes for an enjoyable, fulfilling retirement. Try not to let the guilt impact that.
SumDay is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should I Feel Guilty? Bigal50 Life after FIRE 60 05-22-2013 09:32 PM
Did your staff make you feel guilty? Nuiloa Other topics 22 01-13-2012 04:12 PM
Do you feel guilty about ER? vickko Life after FIRE 63 09-23-2008 07:44 AM
did you feel guilty if you ERed before spouse? retiringat50 FIRE and Money 17 07-11-2008 10:18 AM
another thing we can all feel guilty about, eating chocolate mickj Other topics 4 02-18-2008 06:33 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:33 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.