Anyone have trouble getting the spouse excited about ER?

[A854321]

It would probably be beneficial to get her financially savvy if she isn't so already. Savvy enough to be able to be able to feel confident about the family future if you are unable to do the financial planning. And to make sure there is sufficient life insurance for both of you to give your remaining family a comfortable future.

She certainly has a right to be comfortable in the status quo. Maybe she is concerned that she will end up with all the work, with less income to go on, while you have less work.

I think a series of discussions about early retirement are in order.

[Bigritchie]

You know, one of the reasons my wife and I called it quits at 30 (we do not have kids yet), was that IF we do decide to have kids, we can both be home to raise, play with, and actually have a family without the whole rat race stress and foolishness.

[bongo2]

Interesting post. A couple possibilities spring to mind. One is that DW may not be excited about you retiring while her job continues unabated. In fact, if you are planning on traveling or moving somewhere exotic, she may see her job as getting a lot harder. Make sure she knows that you are planning on taking on at least half the responsibilities. This one might not be too hard to address, but your post suggests a deeper problem. You say that she doesn’t want the “loss of income,” and that she is no longer interested in “adventure.” Here it could be that she never thought you’d pull of the ER you dreamed about, and was just humoring you all these years. Or it could be that her tastes have changed, and now she likes the life that you seem to find dull. She may feel like she signed on to a certain partnership – you would provide the money, and she would raise the kids. Now you want to change the plan. Or, as Grizz pointed out, maybe she is worried that you are having a midlife crisis, and are doing something financially dangerous. It could also be that your wife is concerned about how your ER will be perceived. Finally, you haven’t told us what you mean by “adventure.” Maybe we’d all think you’re crazy too

[52andout]

I read this earlier and thought about it for awhile. I think that you need to talk, but also need to take a deep look at yourself.
For instance, is you idea of helping with the housework lifting your feet up so she can vacuum under them? You catch my drift I hope, or are you planning on helping with the most loathsome chores like toilet cleaning?
Have you communicated what you intend to do with the 50+ hours (when you add in lunch and commute may be much more) you now will not be at work? Someone who hangs around waiting to be amused is no fun to have around.

Do you need to discuss in depth what you mean by adventure? My kids moved x2 in their school careers, it didn't hurt because we went to all kinds of cool places where we moved. Maybe you can take an awesome summer vacation or even a few weeks exploring out west for instance. Use you imagination and open the lines of communication.

For your sake as well as the children start communicating or you might be trying to figure out how to manage as a divorcee.