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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 03:57 PM   #21
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Re: Are you cheap?

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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 04:48 PM   #22
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Re: Are you cheap?

Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends. All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip. I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers. (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.) Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4. I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers? This has been going on for years.

Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check. My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 05:04 PM   #23
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toejam
Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends.* All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip.* I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers.* (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.)* Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4.* *I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers?* This has been going on for years.*

Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check.* My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
Once or Twice a year you can't suck up a few bucks for a good time with friends? If you and your friends all agree to go "dutch" fine, otherwise your ears may be burning as they call you cheap behind your back. Pay the money and have a good time. Life is short, enjoy. As to the OP, your coworker is Cheap. I don't consider myself cheap but I am a tight wad
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 05:37 PM   #24
 
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Re: Are you cheap?

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Originally Posted by MonarchDon
Once or Twice a year you can't suck up a few bucks for a good time with friends? If you and your friends all agree to go "dutch" fine, otherwise your ears may be burning as they call you cheap behind your back. Pay the money and have a good time. Life is short, enjoy. As to the OP, your coworker is Cheap. I don't consider myself cheap but I am a tight wad


Agree 100% - You took the words right out of my mouth!
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 05:38 PM   #25
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Re: Are you cheap?

...I had an old army buddy who was REALLY cheap. When we were in Korea he bragged that he NEVER bought the Stars and Stripes but always waited for someone to leave one at the breakfast table at the club. I never saw him leave a tip for a meal. When we would go out for a meal he would wait for the rest of us to leave the table and then move all our tips around to his place at the table. We all left bigger tips to make up for his lack of tipping. It was worth it to be able to tell funny stories about how cheap he was. He was too cheap to get married, said women were all out for money. He was saving for his retirement with a vengeance and doing well at it. He finally fell for the wrong lady and she took half of everything he had saved a few years later. Living with the cheap bastard for those few years probably fairly entitled her to what she got.
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 05:44 PM   #26
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toejam
Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends. All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip. I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers. (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.) Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4. I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers? This has been going on for years.

Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check. My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
I agree with Monarch on this one.... once or twice a year is not worth the trouble.. heck, I might even buy the whole thing if it was only once a year...

But, we do that for lunch almost every day... so, the water people said it was not fair with all the tea and coke drinkers... so, we implemented a 'tea tax'... sometimes it gets to be $3 if the tea is high and the tip is larger..

Usually, you are only $1 off either way.. now, I have brought it up a few times when I get a $7 meal and everybody else gets a $10 meal... so they give me the 'frugal' discount... I am happy..
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 07:25 PM   #27
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Re: Are you cheap?

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Originally Posted by jclarksnakes
He was saving for his retirement with a vengeance and doing well at it. He finally fell for the wrong lady and she took half of everything he had saved a few years later.
It could be worse. The writer H. Beam Piper retired on a small pension, then married a "wrong lady". The divorce left him destitute and he commited suicide at 60*
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 07:43 PM   #28
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toejam
Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends.* All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip.* I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers.* (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.)* Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4.* *I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers?* This has been going on for years.*

Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check.* My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
Not cheap at all. Seperate check is probably the right way of doing it in my book.
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 10:47 PM   #29
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toejam
Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends.* All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip.* I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers.* (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.)* Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4.* *I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers?* This has been going on for years.*

Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check.* My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
Toejam, I sympathize. I don't think that it would be cheap to suggest individual checks here. The pattern is well established, and you are overpaying for what you're getting. The trick is to get agreement before the waiter/waitress takes the orders. It can be done in a humorous way, e.g. "remember last year when I didn't have money for gas to get home?". My friends and I do this routinely and then we can all order what we want without feeling guilty.

Several years ago, one of my friends suggested we go out to dinner together. She suggested a new and trendy restaurant. The check was ~ $250 (gulp!) We split the bill.

Personally, I don't think any meal is worth $125.* I am now more careful and suggest more reasonable restaurants that are equally enjoyable. I later learnt that this friend spent almost $1000 on a pair of sweats. That's why she will be working till she's 70-75, and I won't.





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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-05-2006, 11:21 PM   #30
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh


I later learnt that this friend spent almost $1000 on a pair of sweats.
Say what? For $1,000 bucks, the sweats better go out and exercise for me!
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 05:48 AM   #31
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Re: Are you cheap?

And yet from another angle differentiating the frugal from the cheap...

In my experience the frugal often posess a quality totally foreign to the cheap - generosity!


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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 06:02 AM   #32
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Re: Are you cheap?

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And yet from another angle differentiating the frugal from the cheap...

In my experience the frugal often posess a quality totally foreign to the cheap - generosity!


I totally agree!!!
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 07:33 AM   #33
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Meadbh
Toejam, I sympathize. I don't think that it would be cheap to suggest individual checks here. The pattern is well established, and you are overpaying for what you're getting.

What you're getting isn't the meal. You're getting a night out with three close friends which happens to be over dinner. Suck it up and pay your 25%, or heck be a real friend and pick up the check for everybody once in a while.

Stop trying to account for everything. This does seem to be more of a woman thing. I can't remember where I read it (it might have been here) but it talked about the difference between a group of men and a group of women dining together and what happens when the check comes.

With the women the calculators come out, and with the men it winds up looking like an Italian wedding with all the money flying around and each guy trying to pick up the whole check.

I know for sure that If I go out with my 3 close friends for steaks and cigars that I'm going to have to fight them in hand to hand combat in order to even get near the check because we are all going to want to grab it.

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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 08:07 AM   #34
 
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Re: Are you cheap?

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Originally Posted by Mwsinron
Not cheap at all. Seperate check is probably the right way of doing it in my book.
Yeah, but then you might put yourself in danger that it would be one of your friends birthdays and someone at the table suggests that the rest of the folks pick up the birthday guy/gal's check.

Better to get a separate table and dine alone.
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 09:19 AM   #35
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Re: Are you cheap?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty
Not that every one of them was jerk when drinking just enough to make an evening unpleasant. I had to put a good face on things not to hurt the ones I got along with.
Maybe you just needed to drink more!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toejam
Once or twice a year, I have dinner at a fancy restaurant with 3 of my gal friends.* All 3 friends order wine/alcohol and an appetizer, which adds greatly to the total dinner bill and also the total tip.* I don't drink and I don't care for appetizers.* (The last time, they ordered oysters for appetizers, and I don't even like oysters.)* Well, the dinner bill is always split equally between us 4.* *I am beginning to think, why am I paying for alcohol and appetizers when I don't even drink/eat the appetizers?* This has been going on for years.*
Maybe I am "cheap", but next time I am going to ask for a separate check.* My 3 friends can split the bill between themselves!
I can sympathize with the idea that you're paying more to enjoy the same experience as your friends.* It's sort of a tax on your behavior (or perhaps in this case the lack of it).* If you were "required" to go to this dinner or if it's a daily work-related occurrence with co-workers instead of with your best friends forever then I can see how this corrosive issue would eat at one's soul.

However just once or twice a year it appears to be a reasonable price for getting to spend an evening with friends you haven't seen in a while.* Your separate check will reduce your expenses but it may cost you your friends-- or as another poster has mentioned, at a minumum, their entertainment at your cheapness!

People can assess an expense to an object or an experience and fixate on it to the point where they can't enjoy it anymore if it doesn't stay at that price.* We all know of an elderly relative who's fixated on what they used to pay and can't enjoy something anymore because now they have to pay "real money" for it.* Yet if they were doing it for the first time and had never paid that "new" price before, they'd be happy with the experience instead of bickering over the pricing.* It's all in your expectations...
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 10:01 AM   #36
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Re: Are you cheap?

Seems a tad cheap to me.* However, if it bothers you, then get agreement upfront on who's gonna pay what.* That way, your friends can decide if they want you back next time, and you can decide if it's worth the price.* Without prior agreement, pay some or all of it and be happy you have close friends.*
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 10:09 AM   #37
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Re: Are you cheap?

Just start eating expensive desserts
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 10:13 AM   #38
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Re: Are you cheap?

I lost many of my closest friends in accidents. I sure would like to have a nice dinner with all of them and pick up the check. Like Saluki said
"Stop trying to account for everything"
Some things in life are more important than the final score. I am competitive and analytical in most everything I do. It is sometimes good and sometimes not.
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 10:54 AM   #39
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Re: Are you cheap?

I feel sad for the people who go through life knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.

My friends are worth more than a few dollars to me. I would just be happy that I have the money to "subsidize" them.
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Re: Are you cheap?
Old 08-06-2006, 11:06 AM   #40
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Re: Are you cheap?

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Originally Posted by Cut-Throat
Yeah, but then you might put yourself in danger that it would be one of your friends birthdays and someone at the table suggests that the rest of the folks pick up the birthday guy/gal's check.

Better to get a separate table and dine alone.
Guess I missed the detail that it was a birthday dinner.
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