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Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 02:36 PM   #1
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Arianna 'Splains It

Arianna says men like women, men like money, but men don't like women with money. Ladies- is this true? Why?

How about you men, would you marry or couple-up with someone with way more money than you? A way better job?

http://biz.yahoo.com/special/money06_article2.html

Myself, I think yes. But actually the power politics might feel pretty challenging

Ha
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 02:41 PM   #2
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

DW had her stuff together much more than I did when we met, and until this year (2006), she made more than me, plus had stock options worth a ton (down payment on the house came from it). I think that a guy would only have a problem if there was a quantum leap in income/net worth a la Britney Spears and Kevin Federline (K-Fed to his peeps : ). If anything, my friends were envious.
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 02:56 PM   #3
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
Arianna says men like women, men like money, but men don't like women with money. Ladies- is this true? Why?

How about you men, would you marry or couple -up someone with way more money than you? A way better job?

http://biz.yahoo.com/special/money06_article2.html

Myself, I think yes. But actually the power politics might feel pretty challenging

Ha
Maybe it is not the money itself but the personality of the woman that has it. I know MANY women in upper management that are very very well off but I would never consider as a potential mate. In my experience many of the more powerful women I have met got to be that way by stomping on men and other women on the way up. That kind of personality turns me off big time. How many men enjoy working for a female boss? How many women enjoy working for a female boss? Not trying to be sexist, just trying to make a point and one that my wife and I have discussed a lot. She dislikes working for another woman as much as I did.

As for the money part alone, I don't see it as much of an issue for a guy as this writer would seems to make it. Maybe there are some guys that just can't deal with a woman making or having more than they do but I think that is a minority from my experience. I know several couples were the woman makes much more than the man and they seem very happy.

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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 03:07 PM   #4
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

If it is a problem, it may get worse.

Women are currently 57% of college students.

As women march forward, more boys seem to be falling by the wayside, McCorkell says. Not only do national statistics forecast a continued decline in the percentage of males on college campuses, but the drops are seen in all races, income groups and fields of study, says policy analyst Thomas Mortenson, publisher of the influential Postsecondary Education Opportunity newsletter in Oskaloosa, Iowa. Since 1995, he has been tracking and sounding the alarm about the dwindling presence of men in colleges.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/educati...tm?POE=NEWISVA


Greg and I met as philosophy students in undergrad. Neither of us had anything. As the years went by I ended up earning more than him from employment. But he earned more from investments. And he is the personification of frugality. The team has worked well. Without him, I probably would be an overpaid lawyer with little savings.


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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 03:46 PM   #5
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

When I met Dh he was making about the same as I was. He decided to "semi-retire", actually he just never went back to work after being out on workers comp for an injury. He did odd jobs and worked with his daughter (still does part time). I on the other hand have surpassed what ever he made 10 fold, he did resent it for a while but has since changed his thinking. His friends give him grief about marrying money or being a kept man but there isn't one of them that wouldn't like to be in his shoes. Once he saw the value of being home to take care of the things I didn't have time to or had to take time off from work for, his comfort level rose tremendously. He brags now that he's the house husband... I don't care what he calls himself as long as the chores are done!!

As for working for a woman, I hated it, I'm not the stomp on em type but I can be ...humm.... "trying" to work for LOL.
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 04:06 PM   #6
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

I wonder if the attitude towards prenuptial agreements would change if say the woman has deep pockets.

Back to the orginal question, I would say on average it would create problems.
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 04:23 PM   #7
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

It may be a problem in general, but in general I believe it's the man's problem! My technical lead is a woman, and she is a dream to work for. I think I've said this before but I think we have residual double standards in the work place:

Boss snaps at you:

Male: Under a lot of pressure, being a leader is hard
Female: She's a b**ch!

Boss gets promotion

Male: Well deserver OR "brown noser"
Female: Slept her way to the top - IMHO, brown noser would be much preferred.

Martha's post brings up an excellent point, men better get used to it. Most peoples baby boy ain't going to be Brett Favre, so either get used to being the secondary bread winner or study for college!
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 04:38 PM   #8
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
How about you men, would you marry or couple -up someone with way more money than you? A way better job?
I wouldn't marry for money, I'd marry for loooooove. I don't think the money (or the lack of it) would affect the attraction either way. Of course with my personality I'd find it very hard to love a spendthrift.

Many husbands seem to have marriage confused with competition instead of partnership. I remember a Covey-style demonstration of giving a couple $1 for each game of arm wrestling they completed. The money's not just to the winner-- it's to both of them to split, and they get $1 for each match. It's pretty funny to watch the men struggle & sweat to win each match, until the woman points out that the more matches they complete, the more money they'll have. After that the arms flop back & forth like flounders as the cash piles up.

But it's almost always the woman who has to point out that change in paradigm.

Same in business-- no one would expect Bill Gates to get along with Larry Ellison. Yet I'll bet Andrea Jung is very interested in helping Meg Whitman sell more Avon on eBay. It's cooperation, not competition.

So you're right, Laurence-- it's the man's problem.

I like the old slogan "A woman has to work twice as hard as a man to be thought half as good. Fortunately for us women, that's easy to do."

Hey, women outnumber men at college now? Suddenly I feel an urge to be more educated...
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 07:00 PM   #9
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Well, I can splain it too. I have always had more than double the earning power than my husband simply because of the difference in wages in our respective fields.

Our lives are almost the opposite of the previous generation of two wage earner families. The husband will retire first.

I must admit that I sometimes long for the "good old days" of my parents. I have the pressures of the yester-man. We can live on my salary alone but not his. I watch, plan and manage the finances. etc.

I have never heard him complain about my contributions to the household income. He strikes me as smarter than the average man.
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 07:17 PM   #10
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Never bothered me even a little bit. I think thats an ego problem, feeling threatened or something similar when it happens.

Hooked up with a woman with a LOT more money than I had. Nice 4000 square foot house near skyline drive (bay area folks just added up the 3-4 million dollar cost there), an airplane, etc. I kind of liked it a little.

The money didnt bug me a bit. The pathological lying did. Telling me she was in love with me after 3 dates was a little uncomfortable. Calling me up drunk and screaming "Why wont you tell me you love me too?" two weeks after we met definitely did...
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 07:29 PM   #11
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Quote:
Originally Posted by (Cute Fuzzy Bunny)
"Why wont you tell me you love me too?" two weeks after we met...
I think your spouse would explain that you suffer from indecision and a fear of commitment...
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-21-2006, 08:35 PM   #12
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Since it took me four and a half years to marry her, I imagine she'd be very amenable to agreeing.

But I made up for it by having a baby with her just four months after we were married.

My dad explains that the first one can come at any time, but they take about nine months after that...
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Re: Arianna "Splains It
Old 02-22-2006, 07:51 AM   #13
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Re: Arianna "Splains It

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcat
I wonder if the attitude towards prenuptial agreements would change if say the woman has deep pockets.*
You had to go there, didn't you?

As for your question, you bet.* Just ask Jessica Simpson (no pre-nup, and now Nick wants alimony -- she thinks it's unfair).

Interesting article on pre-nups:

http://boston.personals.yahoo.com/us..._prenups-tango
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-22-2006, 08:44 AM   #14
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

SO and I earn about the same.* I have more of* a stash than he does, because over the past twenty years I inherited some, invested well, and hoarded most of my income while he raised a kid and supported various other females.

We had no idea of each other's net worths (?) when we started dating and took a long time to size each other up and come to understanding that we shared similar money values before revealing all.

Although it was a goal for both before we met, neither one of us would be near ER without the other, but together it works.* This makes us both deliriously happy, and besides all that we sort of like each other.* *

As to women bosses, some women have had to be B@$$-busters to get where they got, and are hell to work for.* But some of us have done it with our superior intellect and hard work and we make great bosses.* * *

Not sure which one I am.* **

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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-22-2006, 08:56 AM   #15
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

DW and I have a large income disparity (I have earned more than her for many years), but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest of things were reversed. We had nothing when we met and everything we own is held communally and disclosed. It wouldn't even occur to me to think of "my money vs. her money", so where it comes from is not of more than passing interest (as long as it keeps flowing...).

I've worked for female bosses that were great, and some that were awful (only boss that ever made me seriously consider murder was a woman). But I can say the same thing about my male bosses.

Doesn't seem like that big a deal, really.
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-22-2006, 11:30 PM   #16
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Let's put it this way the DW was out on disability 1/4 of the year and she still made significantly more then I did even with my large amounts of overtime.* I don't care, it all saves the same.* *

As far as male bosses or female bosses, to me they are basically the same.* I have been shafted more then once by male bosses, who felt threatened because I knew the book better than they did.* I haven't been shafted by a female boss.* Even though I've had a few who would ask me questions above their paygrade, becasue they knew I would have the correct answer.
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-23-2006, 10:12 AM   #17
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

I've been equally shafted by both sexes on occasion.

However, in one case an older woman in upper management made a BIG pass at me at a late night party and I dropped the ball. About a year later she became my boss. I should have put an end to it quickly, but we had one of those "dont look me in the eyes" 15 second "that little thing that happened wont be an issue" conversations.

Oh, it was an issue alright.... :P

Probably not going to get that too often from a same-sex boss.
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 02-23-2006, 10:42 AM   #18
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

DW makes considerably more than I do. We arrive at that figure by taking her salary and adding mine to it as she considers it hers anyway.
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 03-01-2006, 12:45 PM   #19
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

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DW makes considerably more than I do. We arrive at that figure by taking her salary and adding mine to it as she considers it hers anyway.*
Is that the whole women's perspective one who owns what -- "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine"?
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It
Old 03-01-2006, 01:14 PM   #20
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Re: Arianna 'Splains It

Quote:
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Is that the whole women's perspective one who owns what -- "what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine"?
The man who fails to understand this concept is doomed to a life of illusion and confusion.

Women understand this very well and all three of my wives (not at the same time ) used to tell me this every chance they got. After a while you learn to believe it and go on with your life. The only time is is an issue is during a divorce....then you really find out what that means.
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