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Old 11-14-2010, 08:23 PM   #21
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My dad retired at 62 and purchased his "last car" - three times. He died at age 90.
Maybe I will be like your Dad. After all, I haven't decided absolutely, positively, for sure, with 100% certainty, that I won't buy another car after my Venza....

I do hope I live to be very old. Or at least 85. I just don't want to take the chance of causing an accident in my old age.
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Old 11-14-2010, 08:31 PM   #22
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No, I can't really sympathize with that poor old rich girl, either. I know something about what being old is like and what nursing home life is like, since I took care of my aged mother when she was at my home and I saw her frequently when she was in a nursing home. It's not a great environment, but you can adapt. Looking forward, if I am so fortunate to find myself in my dotage subject to a penthouse, gourmet meals, lectures on interesting topics, I'm pretty sure I can bear up. I wouldn't be offended by my neighbors afflicted by alzheimer's wandering about in a daze, perhaps pooping in inappropriate places. It's just not that big a deal, though it may take some getting used to. There is a natural aversion to sickness and decrepitude, but it only lasts a little while. You can get used to it.
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Old 11-14-2010, 08:50 PM   #23
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I think many of the baby boomers will be 'opting out' of nursing home care through pills. The question will be will they be aware enough of their situation to take the action.

My mother is in a nursing home; she needs help eating, walking, showering and changing her diaper. It is not living.

There was a point 12 years ago where she could cook for herself in an assisted care facility but declined from there.
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Old 11-15-2010, 12:14 PM   #24
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I expect that my Venza will be my last vehicle, or very nearly so. I want to seriously cut back on my driving once I reach age 70, in 8 years.
I wish I had your common sense. I suspect I will quit driving when they pry the keys from my cold, dead fingers. I love to drive. Even now, at 54, a 12 hour road trip in one day with me driving 10 of the hours is pleasure, not torture. That being said, I have noticed on occasion that I'm not as quick reflexed or as alert as I was once. I drive a little more on automatic. It makes me wonder if there will come a time when I should give up the keys, but won't because I'm too stubborn. I'll have to stay concious of the issue, because I don't want to hurt anybody else.
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Old 11-15-2010, 01:16 PM   #25
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I do worry about that. I want to quit driving before I become a hazard. I will still need some transportation. Are there private driving services for old farts?
The city where i live (in so. cal.) has a mini van service that you can
call upon. It's not as 'on demand' as a taxi but it seems like a great service.
I see it making stops in my neighborhood frequently. You may have one too.
It's worth checking anyways..
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Old 11-16-2010, 08:47 PM   #26
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I want to quit driving before I become a hazard.
Rather than quit driving to avoid being a hazard, I've decided to cut back my afternoon consumption of pints. That straightened me out although DW says I'm not nearly as much fun.
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I will still need some transportation. Are there private driving services for old farts?
We've had several threads on the subject of whether we (collectively) will spend more or less as we age. Many say less. But DW and I say more. If we have the money, we plan to hire drivers, hire fishing guides, hire travel companions, etc., to keep things going as long as we're interested in getting out and doing things. We understand that once the energy and desire is gone, they're gone. But to the extent we're being curtailed in our activities because of failing eyesight, knees or hips that don't work right and that sort of thing, we'll pay others to do the driving, guiding, planning, hefting, etc.

More specifically to your question, at least here in the Chicago area you can hire a car and driver. Or, a well tipped cabbie will gladly return to pick you up after your appointment, dinner engagement or whatever.
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Old 11-16-2010, 10:22 PM   #27
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youbet, DW and I are ready to travel, where are we going?
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:44 AM   #28
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A sobering article in LA Times about growing old, getting sick and frail, and being forced into a old folks' home. Better enjoy your life while you can. ...
My sentiment exactly! All the more reason to FIRE.


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... Money can buy a lot of things, but it can't buy back your youth or health when you're old and decrepit.
...
But the younger people that inherit their estate will often spend it (sometimes quickly waste it) on goods and services the old folks deprived themselves from enjoying.

This is one of the arguments for maximizing spendable income (less risky investments for income) over asset growth to support income (more risk offset by lower withdrawal rate and high probability of a large estate).
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:40 AM   #29
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As far as driving is concerned I want to be this guy. Saw him in 2007 he looked 50 maybe 55.

Chris Karamesines - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

No. 30: Chris Karamesines

Chris Karamesines (born November 7, 1928) is an American drag racer and one of NHRA's early pioneers and nicknamed "The Golden Greek". In 2009, he became the first driver in NHRA history to compete and become the fastest driver at over 80 years old at the final event of the 2009 season at Pomona driving in the Top Fuel category. But he would lose in the first round against Brandon Bernstein. The following year, he made an attempt at Firebird International Raceway in Arizona and made the field, but again lost in the first round.
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Old 11-17-2010, 04:14 PM   #30
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I think what you want to avoid is being warehoused with old people if you can avoid it. My mother at 83 did this...sold all her stuff and moved into a 'high end' assisted living center...meals prepared, laundry done, rides to and from events. She found that she was with people waiting to die or had been dumped there... even if the decor was nice.

She has since moved back into a place of her own and is happier.

My mother-in-law has done zip for 40 years, functionally illiterate, no real understanding of life, the world and has lost any real relationship with her three kids. Now that her husband is ill and not long for this world, I think she is reflecting back on her life with much regret, but still not intelligent enough to change her ways while she still can and reconcile everything. She is in good health, but her life is rather meaningless.

For me...I'm 48 and have watched a couple of people around me die at this age. My brother in law is in his last hours of life in a palliative care center in an drug induced coma. He aged 30 years in five months! My DW and I had lunch after the visit and enjoyed the beautiful sunny warm afternoon, then met the kids for dinner and watched a movie. The day wasn't so bad after all.
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:21 PM   #31
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My mother-in-law has done zip for 40 years, functionally illiterate, no real understanding of life, the world and has lost any real relationship with her three kids. Now that her husband is ill and not long for this world, I think she is reflecting back on her life with much regret, but still not intelligent enough to change her ways while she still can and reconcile everything. She is in good health, but her life is rather meaningless.
Wow! How harsh.

Every life has meaning.
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:23 PM   #32
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I'm still looking for a reliable source of cyanide capsules.
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:29 PM   #33
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I'm still looking for a reliable source of cyanide capsules.
I think I'd prefer the taste of the prescription painkillers...
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:33 PM   #34
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I think I'd prefer the taste of the prescription painkillers...
I guess we need a taste test panel to settle this.
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:42 PM   #35
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Many residents of assisted living facilities are folks that have suffered physical deterioration and have no one to assist them at home. Lifestyle choices earlier in life, especially limited physical activity, contribute to this. The most important thing one can do to avoid this future is stay physically fit and enjoy a healthful diet.

Others are people with mental deterioration, and its not clear yet what can be done to avoid that.

There are folks that need assisted living due to accidents and unforeseen circumstances but they are not the majority at least where I have visited. What strikes me most when I visit is how not old some of the residents are people in their 70s and early 80s, many wheelchair-bound but not injured.

There is no reason a healthy and physically fit person cannot live in his/her own home to their 90s and beyond. Many health care issues can be attended with home health care and visiting nurses, and in urban and suburban areas there are transportation services. Churches also help. An active social network make a significant contribution and often is the difference between living at home or not.

Even assisted living facilities that have good care and facilities are depressing, mostly because the residents all fit a similar profile. Anyone that needs motivation to get back on the treadmill should spend a couple of hours a week at an assisted living facility.
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:55 PM   #36
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ER 49 to 67 years young.

Do I use this forum's secret decoder ring to find the rerun button.

heh heh heh - we have one? Right?
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:07 PM   #37
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I was raised by a frail, sick father. Each day of his life found things to enjoy even though his health prevented him from doing many things. Can't get out? Ham radio put him in contact with people around the world, much like the internet does for us. He enjoyed listening to music, reading and correspondence with far flung friends. So don't bet that you will want to off yourself as you age or become disabled. People adapt and most here likely will too.
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:08 PM   #38
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I used to visit my father in the hospital and in nursing homes several times a week when he was dying. My wife now is doing the same for her father. We were never in an assisted-living place, because our mothers were able to take care of them when our fathers still had some mobility. So, I would think that people who stay in assisted-living places like the subject of the OP's quoted article are in far better physical conditions than the elderly in nursing homes or hospice centers.

My FIL has lost most mobility, and is still barely able to feed himself with a spoon, which he does very slowly and with great difficulties. His room-mate is often delirious, and cries murder when the nurses or orderlies try to move him. It is sad to see a large man crying out "You are dislocating my shoulder" when being helped in and out of bed by little nurses.

We have to visit our parents to help feed them and to make sure that they are not maltreated. However, it does wear us out and turn us into a somber mood. I can never work in the medical field. Life can be sad and gloomy enough without having to see people dying.
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:20 PM   #39
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Wow! How harsh.

Every life has meaning.
You would think...however I have ran across a few that have not had any real meaning in their lives. Its really sad, but true that there are a few that really and truly do nothing and live in some kind of limbo.

In my mother-in-law's case, she has done something, 3 kids...but if you have no real relationship with any of them, what does it matter (to her anyway)? She would have left her husband, but couldn't get her act together to actually do it (has said so a few times). If you look to blame everyone else for your situation and don't ever take accountability for your life and to improve and become better, then you can stay in limbo until you die. It won't be too long now
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Old 11-17-2010, 06:31 PM   #40
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I played piano at a nursing home yesterday. Everyone was seated and having a good time, singing along with "Ain't She Sweet" and "Five Foot Two." Then happy hour (yes, with booze) was over and it was time to move into the dining room. They get up and everyone is moving at about .0003 MPH.

IOW, they could enjoy themselves, but when it was time for something that required some muscle strength, things were different.

I'll bet that many of the extroverts enjoy themselves in that facility. Us introverts on this forum are screwed, however.
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