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Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-14-2004, 01:59 PM   #1
 
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Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Well, after 3 years of the ER lifestyle it has dawned on me that I am addicted to no schedule whatsover. (Except the fun stuff)

When I first quit work 3 years ago, it was unsettling to be at home with nothing to do. I was addicted to being 'on-task'. Well I have cured myself, but I have found I have gone the other way. If I have a Doctor or Dentist Appt on a given day, it's almost like the day is spoiled.

I really enjoy not having to be anywhere. That way I can decide on a moments whim what I would like to do. I think it would be almost impossible to go back to work now, the constant pressure to respond to phone calls, meetings and e-mail would probably put me in an insane asylum. 8)

Anybody else feel like this.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-14-2004, 07:51 PM   #2
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

I am not fully retired but I only work part time (6 hours a day, 3 days a week) at a place where there isn't really any stress or annoyances and my schedule is very flexible. I do have 2 days free when the kids are in school all day.

I have gotten used to doing what I want and what I need to do but on my schedule. I spend quite a bit of time creating artwork that I want to without someone elses input (like I would get from commissions or commercial art). I decided to enter 1 painting into an artist magazine's cover competition due May 1st. Since I was almost done with it, it wasn't that big a deal to finish it. At the same time I also decided to enter a competition sponsored by the National Parks Service, the deadline is June 1st.

I like the painting and it is almost complete but I have been periodically annoyed because I feel like I am somewhat pressured to finish it even if I don't feel like working on it some days. As it is, it is a self-imposed project.

I don't think I could go back to my corporate job with the cubicles, the endless meetings, and the politics. A previous co-worker called a few days ago from her new job and asked if I wanted to consult on a project. It would take up my free time and throw me back into that environment. We didn't even discuss money, I just couldn't bring my self to do it.

I told my husband I would probably be in a meeting and eventually blurt out "I really don't care what you do and how you do it, but I have important things to do. My garden needs weeding, the flowers need to be deadheaded, I have art to create, and I can't sit here any longer." I gave her my old manager's phone number. He's a good guy and very knowledgeable and would be good for this project.

Maria
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 04:48 AM   #3
 
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Quote:
Regards, Jarhead (Now if the Kings can beat the Timberwolves tonight, I'll be in a good mood tomorrow).
Too bad about the game! - I hope you recover soon.

I'm not that much of a fan. 4 super bowl losses by the Vikings pretty much did me in. Also the constant begging for new stadiums by our Billionarie Sports team owners have pretty much turned me off of Professional Sports of any kind.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 12:08 PM   #4
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Definitely have this. I very actively avoid being nailed down to specific dates and times or having to be somewhere. If I have an appointment with a doctor or to have something delivered or anything like that, I get the nightmares that the alarm clock doesnt go off, I end up waking up early, and the whole day seems to revolve around that one demand on my time.

Pretty darn humorous since I used to have about 50 plates spinning on the end of sticks at any given time. Now just the mere sight of a plate becomes a major thing.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 12:40 PM   #5
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

I haven't been off the job long enough to experience the addiction to no schedule Cut-Throat mentions, but I fully expect that will come with time.

What I have experienced is kind of strange and not at all what I expected. It's hard to describe, but while I know that I'm retired, my brain doesn't seem to grasp it entirely beyond a superficial level. In other words, there isn't as much relief or exhilaration as I expected. I feel no different than if I were on vacation for a week or two and I can't yet fully grasp the magnitude of this change. Everyone keeps telling me how jealous they are. One friend congratulated me and then said, "what I'd really like to say is this: YOU BASTARD!!" They all ask me how it feels to be done at age 51, and they seem to expect that I'll dance a jig around the room, but it just isn't like that. I guess that after so many years of building defenses to deal with all the crap at work, my brain is still in a defensive mode and can't let its guard down. On some level it fully expects there'll be another staff meeting before too long.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 12:42 PM   #6
 
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Yeah TH, me too. And, at one time I was a definite
"50 plate guy". What I really hate is to be out
fishing or riding the bike and have to be back and/or show up somewhere at a certain time. Really tends to
spoil my day.

John Galt
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 01:30 PM   #7
 
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Quote:
and I can't yet fully grasp the magnitude of this change. Everyone keeps telling me how jealous they are. One friend congratulated me and then said, "what I'd really like to say is this: YOU BASTARD!!" They all ask me how it feels to be done at age 51, and they seem to expect that I'll dance a jig around the room, but it just isn't like that.
Bob Smith,

I agree with that! - In fact I actually got kind of depressed after 3 months or so. (which is normal, I'm told) *I guess you're thinking 'Is that all there is?' -It's kind of anticlimatic. Something that you've been looking forward to for 20 years and then Nothing! *So, if this happens to you, it will pass.

I didn't settle into the Retirement Groove until about a full year later. During the first year, I actually pondered getting a job again. *

Now, getting a job again would be very, very bad - very bad stuff *
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 05-15-2004, 01:40 PM   #8
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

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I guess that after so many years of building defenses to deal with all the crap at work, my brain is still in a defensive mode and can't let its guard down.
Funny story. I took my dad out to lunch a couple of months ago, and he lives down near my old place of employment. We went out to a nice place and started yapping. Topic turned to my old company laying off some more people and I rolled my eyes and proclaimed several senior management types as morons and idiots and explained why the path they were continuing on would lead to failure. About 90% of the way through my saying this, a sudden fear grabbed my guts as my subconscious said "one of those guys might be sitting at one of the tables behind you, or someone that knows them might be...and you didnt look first!". Then it occurred to me that I didnt really give a crap and I shouldnt. That may have been the point where I was really and truly set free.
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Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 06-14-2004, 03:34 PM   #9
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

Quote:

Funny story. I took my dad out to lunch a couple of months ago, and he lives down near my old place of employment. We went out to a nice place and started yapping. Topic turned to my old company laying off some more people and I rolled my eyes and proclaimed several senior management types as morons and idiots and explained why the path they were continuing on would lead to failure. About 90% of the way through my saying this, a sudden fear grabbed my guts as my subconscious said "one of those guys might be sitting at one of the tables behind you, or someone that knows them might be...and you didnt look first!". Then it occurred to me that I didnt really give a crap and I shouldnt. That may have been the point where I was really and truly set free.

I have been meaning to reply to the above post by TH. That's a great feeling not having to constantly worry about what you say; it must be like being a permanent short timer.

Heck, half of the stress of work isn't even from having tight deadlines or impossible projects. It's from having to manage the various egos, needs, and ambitions of everyone around you. You may get away from some of it by keep moving up the ladder, but even as a CEO, you still gotta kiss the behinds of Wall Street analysts, bankers, and CEOs of bigger corporations. It never ends. Perhaps human beings should have evovled such that our mouths are in closer proximity to our asses. It would make ass kissing so much easier. :0
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 06-14-2004, 04:03 PM   #10
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

It gets worse as you move up the ladder. The ego's get bigger, and you have far more direct exposure to them. Plus bad behavior by a VP in a meeting room is fairly well tolerated, whereas bad behavior by some chump peer isnt.

At the same time, as a senior manager that isnt a bully or a jerk, you have to watch every word you say as its interpreted, reinterpreted, and consolidated with other things you and others say that have no bearing or relation to each other.

Think more of working as an individual contributor in a fortune 500 company and dealing with senior management as standing in the yard at night looking at the stars. Then as becoming a senior manager standing 50' from the sun with 30 other stars angrily buzzing around you in near collision courses while an audience of 100,000 people watches your every move.

As I said in another post, it wasnt until I decoupled from this miasma for a few months that I came to the bare realization of exactly how stupid and unproductive professional life can be.
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Be fearful when others are greedy, and greedy when others are fearful. Just another form of "buy low, sell high" for those who have trouble with things. This rule is not universal. Do not buy a 1973 Pinto because everyone else is afraid of it.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 06-15-2004, 04:10 AM   #11
 
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

"watching every word you say as its interpreted, reinterpretted
and consolidated with other things.........that have no bearing or relation to each other".....................

Sounds like marriage to me

John Galt
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 06-15-2004, 06:13 AM   #12
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

After two years out - went back as a temp (environmental tiger team) - WEIRD - no suit/tie - billed every hour worked to someplace in AL - just a well paid grunt. After that (about a yr) my divorce (from work) became final.
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............
Old 06-15-2004, 08:09 AM   #13
 
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Re: Becoming Addicted to no Appts.............

ex-Jarhead in an earlier post used the phrase
"how did we do all that?" I have felt the same way.
Back in the 70s I had a house and a family, worked
2 or 3 jobs continuously and for part of the same time span, I went to night school and owned rental property.
Man, it's no wonder I feel worn out

John Galt
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