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Old 09-14-2014, 11:58 AM   #41
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I always like to tell people I'm a bum.
Maybe not "always" for me, but I have sometimes used this one LOL!
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Retired in late 2008 at age 45. Cashed in company stock, bought a lot of shares in a big bond fund and am living nicely off its dividends. IRA, SS, and a pension await me at age 60 and later. No kids, no debts.

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Old 09-14-2014, 12:19 PM   #42
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I told one of my favorite now former coworkers that my new job is Director of cat box maintenance.
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:46 PM   #43
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:50 PM   #44
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How about "Outsourced"?
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Old 09-14-2014, 12:57 PM   #45
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My dad is a "Retired Consultant" except for the two years when he failed to take a step backwards when asked to volunteer and wound up as the president of his local symphony. Happily, they doubled his salary from $0 to 2x$0.
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Old 09-14-2014, 01:09 PM   #46
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the title to a house?
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Old 09-14-2014, 01:53 PM   #47
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Actually I have used, semi retired porn star or gainfully unemployed. Needless to say the wife doesn't see the humor in the first response.
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Old 09-14-2014, 09:44 PM   #48
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Actually I have used, semi retired porn star or gainfully unemployed. Needless to say the wife doesn't see the humor in the first response.
Why would you semi-retire from the porn star profession?
Did you simply get tired of the same old grind day-after-day?
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Old 09-14-2014, 09:55 PM   #49
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Why would you semi-retire from the porn star profession?
1) To give those gray hairs a chance to straighten (or curl).
2) To give other body parts a chance to recover.
3) To allow the religious freaks to find and swarm you.
4) How much money do you really need to retired.
5) OK, I goota get a bit somehow
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:18 AM   #50
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:33 AM   #51
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Why would you semi-retire from the porn star profession?
Did you simply get tired of the same old grind day-after-day?
Shrinkage with old age.
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Old 09-15-2014, 10:44 AM   #52
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I proudly say 'retired'...

not titles, but a couple of great visuals..
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Ir7FqN7.jpg (57.1 KB, 24 views)
File Type: jpg o-RETIREMENT-570.jpg (51.0 KB, 19 views)
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:12 AM   #53
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I tell everyone that I'm Self-Unemployed.
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:33 AM   #54
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I'm not quite there yet, but when I get there I'm going to tell people I'm a workaholic in recovery.
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Old 09-15-2014, 12:28 PM   #55
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Lots of good titles here..but not sure how to get them all on a single business card!! Ha!!

And yes, I will still carry business cards...I have learned that they are quite convenient when you need to exchange contact information. Although, my "personal" card has only my name, e-mail and phone number on it. No titles though. I am looking forward to burning my "official w*rk" business cards in 36 more w*rk days though!
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Old 09-15-2014, 02:40 PM   #56
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Plant manager. In charge of watering the houseplants around the house.
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Old 09-15-2014, 05:01 PM   #57
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And of course, the venerable "Slacker".
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Old 09-15-2014, 05:07 PM   #58
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Poster child for La-Z-Boy.
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Old 09-15-2014, 05:26 PM   #59
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Actually, I don't want to be called anything at all. Not being noticed at all has lots of advantages.

That said, there's a certain charm in this one...

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And of course, the venerable "Slacker".
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:41 PM   #60
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Since there is a pension involved and I plan on travel......how about "remittance man"?
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