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Old 05-09-2011, 12:42 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Major Tom View Post
That describes my SO and I perfectly! It's a common misconception that introverts are just flat out unsociable. I was never comfortable with the simpler explanation that introverts don't like being sociable, because I like people and find them quite fascinating. Then I came across an explanation somewhere that the main difference between extroverts and introverts is that extroverts draw energy from being around people, and introverts find that even if they enjoy being around people, it tends to drain them. I don't know where this explanation came from, or if it is generally accepted, but it really helped to explain my introversion to me.

I couldn't live in a cabin in the woods for an extended period, as I'd feel the need for the company of others - in measured and small doses though
INTJ. Retired jan 1993.

I got too many 'friends' - I need to ratchet up my 'curmudgeon - ness' and perhaps get a 'ratier' pair of bib overalls.

heh heh heh - And un-volunteer big time.

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Old 05-09-2011, 01:12 PM   #22
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A strong social network and billionaire wealth does not mean you won't commit suicide:
Brigitte Bardot's billionaire ex Gunter Sachs shoots himself -

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Old 05-09-2011, 01:28 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by LOL! View Post
A strong social network and billionaire wealth does not mean you won't commit suicide:
Brigitte Bardot's billionaire ex Gunter Sachs shoots himself -
yeah but at least he can suffer/go in comfort.
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:51 PM   #24
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Actually, ER diminished my introvertism. Always a strong INTJ when working---a job in human services working closely with people with disabilities did drain me and I didn't have the energy/interest for socializing.

But----retiring at 52 with just DH and cat to hang out with felt like a void to me. I couldn't find volunteer work that seemed satisfying, but instead I nurtured my inner extrovert/social butterfly. Not going to church or work and living in a community where people are way different than me (much older, more conservative and religious, etc.) limited my opportunities to socialize. Joining a gym helped provide some daily structure and furnished limited social interaction that isn't too overwhelming.

What really helped was joining Meetup. It allowed me to meet lots of people, all of whom I would never have met any other way. Apart from the social aspect, it has also enabled me to participate in activities and adventures that I never would have been exposed to---everything from zip lining and white water rafting to mah jong. This weekend, we are going to an outdoor jazz concert as a Meetup, Saturday we are going to attempt to learn Korean (another MU), Saturday night we are having friends over for dinner whom we met a couple of years through MU, Sunday we are going out to brunch with a Baby Boomers MU, and Sunday night we are going to a CD release party or a jazz pianist whom we met through MU.

So---as much as I love solitary pursuits like walking and reading and cooking, I must say that an expanded social network has really made my retirement feel very full and rewarding, with never a boring moment. It has also given me some stressful moments, as people can be challenging (read: frustrating) to deal with, but usually in more of a eustress (good stress) type of way, rather than distress.
“It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society”.------Krishnamurti
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Old 05-09-2011, 04:20 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Moscyn View Post
...the question depends a lot on one's personality and lifestyle. I am happy with some close friends. I don't need a crowd. Everyone should have some close friends. Friends are not the most important thing in a happy retirement and long life but they do help to make the journey an interesting one.
Packman: This would be my answer too. I'm an INTJ and I enjoy some quiet time. However, I enjoy having a small group of close friends vs a lot of acquaintances (no interest in 'how many' "friends" I can have). Some people also don't realize that without work, they don't have access to new friends, their social life stemmed entirely from work. Just something to consider. Every one of the non-financial retirement books that has spoken to me acknowledged that some friends, networking, joining (like interests) in is important. My 2˘...
No one agrees with other people's opinions; they merely agree with their own opinions -- expressed by somebody else. Sydney Tremayne
Retired Jun 2011 at age 57

Target AA: 60% equity funds / 35% bond funds / 5% cash
Target WR: Approx 2.5% Approx 20% SI (secure income, SS only)
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Old 05-09-2011, 05:03 PM   #26
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Yep - INTP here - I definitely found it a big drain being around so many people at work all the time. I needed to go home and hide to recharge! No longer being in that situation was a big relief. I like my social interaction in small doses and in small groups. My best reason to invite a few people over to visit is because they are leaving and I might not see them for another half-year or so!

Well, I thought I was retired. But it seems that now I'm working as a travel agent instead!
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Old 05-09-2011, 10:35 PM   #27
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I like the introvert/extrovert definition. I too like being around people and really enjoy a short outing or evening with friends. But almost all of the time, when it's done, I'm worn out. Same thing with family members and visiting. A couple of days is it for me - after that it's just mentally draining.
Retired on 5/31/2011 at 54
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:13 AM   #28
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I read this book a few years ago before I retired. I enjoyed it---especially since its focus was what makes a good retirement and not just a focus on the money aspect. I would not recommend this book to someone looking for investment advice, but that is not the major focus of this book. I do think that it is good to remember that retirement is a major lifestyle decision and not just a dollar value of a portfolio.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:02 AM   #29
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I think the problem for many is just stepping outside of their shell!

  • Do some volunteer work.
  • Pick up a hobby and pursue it with a passion!
  • If you are really outgoing, organize a small social network of retirees and meet for breakfast once a week or regular golf (or whatever).

You can take control of that situation. You need to be willing to do it.

It is really going to be sad if I saved for the last 25 years to FIRE... just to hunker in my bunker!
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:57 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post

... eustress (good stress) type of way, rather than distress.....
New word for me - thanks!

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