Busy retirees can still feel empty and miss their jobs

[Alan]

Good thread and something we've thought about a lot. Fortunately I'm not an A-type personality, although at work I am never without plenty to do and am always looking to improve the way things are done to make them more efficient.

DW has been trying out this retirement thing very successfully for the last few years although she is back to working 2 days a week on contract with her old company after we returned here 2 years ago from Texas.

We plan on living in different parts of this country and other countries (months at a time) but maintain a base that we come back to. (we've already downsized to a 1400' apartment that we can 'lock and leave').

We plan on expanding our exercise activities throughout the week - gym, exercise classes, tennis, cycling etc - all stuff that we enjoy doing now and have been doing for years.

I plan to get back to being a soccer referee, get my FIFA badges again etc. I love soccer and used to enjoy being a ref but gave it up 10 years ago because it was just too much on top of work, but both my kids were ref's from age 14 to 18 so it provided a great bonding environment.

... and I'm confident that I can learn to take life more slowly, eat like the French and others do ( slowly, hanging out, and enjoying their meals )

[Dawg52]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eagle43 I'm into the 6th 3rd year of retirement and I like it more and more. I go to the gym golf course every day. I nap every day. I do a little internet surfing every day. Ditto on reading. Chores when necessary. I cannot imagine a supervisor telling me he/she needed some project ASAP. Two glasses of red wine bottles of med's with dinner, no earlier than 6 p.m. Life is not empty. Life is good.

There, now that sums up my retirement.

[vicente solano]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dawg54 There, now that sums up my retirement.

Scratch golf and add whatever my wife says, cycling and strumming my guitar to sum up my retirement. Blissful way of marking time.

[Purron]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan ... and I'm confident that I can learn to take life more slowly, eat like the French and others do ( slowly, hanging out, and enjoying their meals )

I've noticed this about the French. It's a skill many Americans sadly lack myself included. DH and I need a trip to France or Italy in the worst way.

[ladypatriot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Want2retire However, the author of this article says that she planned as I have but still found retirement to be unrewarding and disappointing for her.

Well, I read the article, and I don't agree with everthing she wrote, and I'll go into that in another post. However, my first reaction is: She "found retirement to be unrewarding and disappoint for her" but she is not you.

We can't really know what all of her expectations were.

[Alan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purron I've noticed this about the French. It's a skill many Americans sadly lack myself included. DH and I need a trip to France or Italy in the worst way.

Last year we had a week in a little place close to Pamplona followed by a week in a little place close to Biarritz, and the Spanish in the Pamplona area seemed to pretty laid back and took lots of time over their meals as well. Not sure if this is the case in other parts of Spain). About 3 years ago I was in Italy on business in Scarlino and found myself on the last night in a little village close by on the Tuscany coast called Portiglioni. I strolled down the main street and found a restaurant and enjoyed a meal lasting a LONG time but when I left there were still plenty folks eating who had been there when I arrived.

Definitely a skill DW and I plan to work on.

[vicente solano]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alan Last year we had a week in a little place close to Pamplona followed by a week in a little place close to Biarritz, and the Spanish in the Pamplona area seemed to pretty laid back and took lots of time over their meals as well. Not sure if this is the case in other parts of Spain). About 3 years ago I was in Italy on business in Scarlino and found myself on the last night in a little village close by on the Tuscany coast called Portiglioni. I strolled down the main street and found a restaurant and enjoyed a meal lasting a LONG time but when I left there were still plenty folks eating who had been there when I arrived. Definitely a skill DW and I plan to work on.

You´ve been in one of the best places to eat in Spain. That area is also considered to have a very good standard of living in the sense of knowing how to enjoy the good life.

[ladypatriot]

I've read the article a second time, after reading everyone's responses, and I agree with the cynics. The woman sounds like she's peddling the outline for a book she wants to write or drumming up business for her "retirement coaching" business. Retirement grieving process? Horseshit.

I don't think the writer ever really thought about retirement, except that she wouldn't be working, or planned for retirement, except in the financial sense. What were her expectations? What did she think she was going to do for the rest of her life? She mentioned a few times the exciting things she was planning to do, but apparently she never did them. We don't really know what she was doing, except the angry outbursts and "silent sobbing" (I'm still trying to figure that one out...when I sob it's rather noisy). Apparently she still needed the structure, social contact, and self-importance that her work provided.

I work 20 hours a week during the school year (September-May), and even though I enjoy my work (I teach preschool), I'm looking forward to full-time retirement. During those three months during the summer, while I'm not working, I'm happier than I am during the school year. For the past few years, at the end of each summer, it's harder for me to face the new school year.

I don't need to be busy all the time, and I don't want to be busy all the time. What I do want is the freedom to do something just because I want to, not because I have to. Most importantly, I think, is that my identity, my self-worth, is NOT dependent on my work. The woman who wrote the article apparently had a lot of her self, her life and her identity tied up in her work - much more than she realized, perhaps.

Everyone else has said much the same thing, I guess. The article irritated me, and I need to throw my ten cents in.

[BunsGettingFirm]

Ah, perhaps a few days of dealing with an overbearing, condescending boss will fix her craving for "work" work. However, I'd trade complete boredom with self-directed, rewarding work that also pays well. Except for being a stripper, however, I can't think of any other job that qualifies.

[Notmuchlonger]

Ive never been happier doing nothen.

[kumquat]

PLEASE, Tell me you're kidding!

[vicente solano]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunsGettingFirm Ah, perhaps a few days of dealing with an overbearing, condescending boss will fix her craving for "work" work. However, I'd trade complete boredom with self-directed, rewarding work that also pays well. Except for being a stripper, however, I can't think of any other job that qualifies.

Never found a job that had all those 3 qualities.

[vicente solano]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kumquat PLEASE, Tell me you're kidding!

There is a lot to be said for "il dolce fare niente"

[unclemick]

At 16th yr of ER - about ready to graduate into genuine ole phartness - with a Medicare card - memory/hindsight gets a tad hazy but:

I went through a 'don't ask don't tell kind of phase' which I labeled unemployed but not looking out of town real hard/house SO/etc. Now I did slip in a year and worked as a jobshopper.

My 'official' coming out was when my age 55 pension check arrived.

I have achieved the Zen like - no bucket list/to do's/etc. I can croak tomorrow or live forever.

With several years hindsight - it is amazing how busy - doing nothing in particular can get.

heh heh heh - There was a mental transition but it dims with time - musta been no big deal.

[Sarah in SC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunsGettingFirm Ah, perhaps a few days of dealing with an overbearing, condescending boss will fix her craving for "work" work. However, I'd trade complete boredom with self-directed, rewarding work that also pays well. Except for being a stripper, however, I can't think of any other job that qualifies.

Yeah, but I think you don't get to drink much beer if you want to keep a stripper body going for tips. So that's pretty much out as far as I'm concerned.

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Yeah, but I think you don't get to drink much beer if you want to keep a stripper body going for tips. So that's pretty much out as far as I'm concerned.

I dunno... I've seen strippers do amazing things with those beer bottles... he may want to keep all career options open!

[Sarah in SC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nords I dunno... I've seen strippers do amazing things with those beer bottles... he may want to keep all career options open!

Ahem, I don't think that qualifies as DRINKING the beer, Nords. And just where have you been hanging out...do we need to talk to your boss wife?

[Nords]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC And just where have you been hanging out...do we need to talk to your boss wife?

We had a table for two... join the Navy, see the world...

[deserat]

I second Nords' observations - join the military, see the world - a lot more than you bargain for many times......:-)

I have an observation - I have been semi-retired and am now going back to work for a bit - was mentally not happy with the way I allocated my time while semi-retired, but now with the work I am even more unhappy with the way my time is allocated.....doing what I want to do when I want to is definitely much more appealing - now getting rid of the "I really should accomplish more with this time now that I can what I want when I want it" monkey is the other issue - but I've decided I like that issue over the Same Old $hit people in the office and what they think, compete, do, think, say, arghhhhhhhh! It doesn't matter wherever you are, the same cast of characters doing the same things...amazign! Tasting freedom and then going back to work is just plain mean!

[BunsGettingFirm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Ahem, I don't think that qualifies as DRINKING the beer, Nords. And just where have you been hanging out...do we need to talk to your boss wife?

I'm talking about being a stripper in the US, not Thailand.