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Conversation with next door neighbour.
Old 11-25-2012, 09:26 AM   #1
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Conversation with next door neighbour.

I've been living next door to my neighbor for 27 years. I'm 56, retired, neighbor is 64 and he hasn't said when he's retiring. In the past he's come home and met me in my driveway to say, he's had a really rough day and is really tired, other days, he's not feeling well lately and can't get motivated to do the repairs/renovations we talked about in the past and are in dire need of repair.

Well this last conversation caught me by surprise, it's his birthday today and after the old, "happy birthday" wishes I said "one more year to retirement huh". I say this because I know his house has been paid off for at least 15 years and he did mention once that he has about 300k in savings so I only assumed. His reply was, "I don't know........I think I'd be bored if I retired, I'd probably sit at home and do nothing, I don't mind going to work". I didn't know what to say, other than, " You mean you'd rather go to work every day then do all those repairs/renovation's that need to be done, plus you always talk about how you wish you could find the time to golf more". He reply was, "I know lots of people that would rather be at work then sit at home and do nothing, take my wife for example, she loves to go to work every day".


I'm not sure if he's not being true to himself, or me. Or maybe I misread the whole conversation and was out of line.
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:35 AM   #2
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He sounds like he just isn't full of original conversation. Also, the "sit home and do nothing" line clearly doesn't apply to you; he was just talking about himself and his impression of what retirement will be like for him. Doing home repairs obviously doesn't thrill him as a way to pass the time!

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"I know lots of people that would rather be at work then sit at home and do nothing,
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:40 AM   #3
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Actually if I had a lot of repairs and renovations to do I believe I'd rather go to work. Of course I don't work that hard.
Remember, not everyone has the same desires or motivations.
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:41 AM   #4
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Maybe he really can't afford to retire (or thinks he can't).
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:47 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Bestwifeever View Post
Maybe he really can't afford to retire (or thinks he can't).
Or maybe like a friend of mine he'd prefer to work until he's carried out on a stretcher rather than have to spend more time with his demanding DW...
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:01 AM   #6
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Or maybe like a friend of mine he'd prefer to work until he's carried out on a stretcher rather than have to spend more time with his demanding DW...
+1 I recall coworkers like this.
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:08 AM   #7
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Sometimes, when you are in a rut (or a ditch ), it's hard to see a way out.

I have two BIL's in that situation, and still on the j*b in their early/late 60's, although (and it's only my assumption) that they can both retire.

All you can do is take care of your own situation; if one wishes to see you as somebody who has taken a different path, they will come to you for suggestions.

BTW, one BIL did just that; however, after I gave him my "opinion", he did not take it kindly (e.g. spending his "future" on his current adult childern).

So it goes.
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:53 AM   #8
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My next door neighbor (age 85) told me that his original plan was to "be retired for as many years as I was employed". And he made it! 32 years working, 32 years retired...

Died last year but I thought it was a great goal!
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:45 AM   #9
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Just to give you a bit more information on said neighbor, he's in a labor intensive job and complains about his sore back. He's told me on numerous occasions that he's finding the weather and job much more demanding and is having a hard time maintaining the pace.

I would have thought, with no debt, money in savings as well as a pension plan, he'd be set for retirment. Having also hear on many occasions, "I just didn't have the time, or I was too tired to get to it", next years potential retirement was what he was looking for.

I do notice when he comes back from his golf trips he's a different person, more happy, energetic, and can see his excitement.

Maybe some are right...... since I can only assume what his expenses are, maybe he crunched the numbers and doesn't want me to know that he may not be in a position to retire and didn't want me to know.

Maybe I was hoping he could have been more honest and told me the truth if that's the case, seeing as I've known him for over 27 years.

I guess what he didn't realize is he contradicted himself, I guess he thought I wouldn't catch on. Too many assumptions on my part.

Thanks for the replies everyone.
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Old 11-25-2012, 11:58 AM   #10
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He may have had 300k in 2008, sold it all when it hit $150k in 2009, and has been sitting in cash since then. Who knows? Maybe his wife won't let him retire, as in she likes to spend his money and can't imagine having to live on a relatively smaller amount of money.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:22 PM   #11
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I suspect that he is making excuses. Perhaps he isn't as financially ready to retire as he has let on. Or, perhaps the idea of possibly being around his wife for a little longer every day is a nightmare for him. Who knows? Either way, I feel sorry for him. Still, I'd just let it go.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:25 PM   #12
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If his wife said she still likes to go to work every day as mentioned in the OP, maybe he doesn't want to be home alone. Or have to do all the chores while she's at work.
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:37 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by foxfirev5 View Post
Actually if I had a lot of repairs and renovations to do I believe I'd rather go to work. Of course I don't work that hard.
Remember, not everyone has the same desires or motivations.
+1

I think I would work longer and pay someone to do the repairs, but of course it would be done concurrently....
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Old 11-25-2012, 12:55 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by FUEGO View Post
He may have had 300k in 2008, sold it all when it hit $150k in 2009, and has been sitting in cash since then. Who knows? Maybe his wife won't let him retire, as in she likes to spend his money and can't imagine having to live on a relatively smaller amount of money.
There money is in a guaranteed fund making about 2% per year, they won't take any risks with there portfolio. They both have got to be one of the most frugal people I'm met, not to say ever, just of who I know.
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I suspect that he is making excuses. Perhaps he isn't as financially ready to retire as he has let on. Or, perhaps the idea of possibly being around his wife for a little longer every day is a nightmare for him. Who knows? Either way, I feel sorry for him. Still, I'd just let it go.
I believe this is probably closest to the truth and I'm ok with that. I was just surprised at the different direction this particular conversation took one year before he reaches 65.
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If his wife said she still likes to go to work every day as mentioned in the OP, maybe he doesn't want to be home alone. Or have to do all the chores while she's at work.
They'll retire at the same time so they'll be home together.
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+1
I think I would work longer and pay someone to do the repairs, but of course it would be done concurrently....
They're so frugal they won't pay anyone to do any repairs to there home, or car. Even if they inherited $50,000.00. They have a hard time letting go of money except when it comes to there kids.


Thanks again for the replies, I spoke to my wife and her reply was, "let it go", something up and he just doesn't want you to know.
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:12 PM   #15
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I've got a similar situation with my next door neighbor in that he knows I'm ER and he's 69 years old and still working full-time. He's in good shape and works a fairly physical job, but doesn't retire yet because as he says "We spend alot on the grandkids." He also hints at how the stock market hit them pretty hard. He's never been the type to make any remarks about our different situations and I guess I appreciate that. Everybody really is different and each situation is so unique.
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Old 11-25-2012, 10:51 PM   #16
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And just today I had a similar discussion with a fella at Church - It started with his question... "What do you do all day?" or perhaps it was "How do you spend your days?" EIther way, we chatted a bit and I told him that I was MORE than "busy". I think I gave him a couple of things to think about: NONE of us knows how long we have left in this life, BUT I **CAN** guarantee that if you put off retiring for 5 years, you WILL have 5 years LESS than if you retire today. AND you will be giving up younger years - your abilities, desires, etc are certainly different between, say 60 & 65 than 65 & 70. Age DOES impact our life. But, WHEN to "pull the trigger" is an INTENSELY personal decision. Mine is not yours. I think I will send Scott an e-mail and give him the opportunity to chat more on the subject.... chatting allows us to actually THINK about the topic and sort out things.
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