dealing with others perceptions of ER

[pb4uski]

You can take Soc Sec at 62 or so, though Medicare is 65 IIRC. If you want to retire earlier, save more to increase your nest egg or reduce your personal (retirement) spending/budget to match the nest egg you have. Many people on this forum have done so. It's simple, but not easy.

I assume you aren't suggesting FRA should be less than 65 (for me it's already 67 and I'm fine with that). Soc Sec is already passing from surplus to deficit and Medicare has been in deficit for a while. Not to mention the broader Federal, State & Local deficits. Lowering "regular retirement age" means asking all (many younger) working taxpayers to pay more in taxes, doesn't sound fair at all IMHO...

+1 The FRA and age 62 are well known (or knowable). If one is willing to sacrifice the present for benefits in the future you have the opportunity to develop a nestegg to supplement your SS and retire early. Some do, and many of them are regulars here. Most don't and grumble about their inability to RE. We have enough troubles without becoming another Greece by lowering the FRA.

 

[Alan]

We have enough troubles without becoming another Greece by lowering the FRA.

I hate to nit-pick, but the FRA in Greece is 65, however you can get a reduced SS as early as 55.

Given increasing life expectancies I really don't know if taking reduced SS early actually costs the government more or less, since taking SS later and living beyond ~78 nets you more money (in the USA).

 

[redduck]

I went to the dentist the other day and had a new hygienist clean my teeth. She asked me what I did for a living. I paused, not sure how to respond and not quite yet willing to refer to myself as retired. I just told her that I was between jobs and taking some time off. Perhaps I'll get more comfortable with referring to myself as retired, particularly with strangers, as time goes on.

I guess it is the potential obvious connection with being retired at my age (56) and being "wealthy" (or more the public perception of being wealthy) that bothers me. I've always had wealth in the closet as a LBYMer, but to be retired at this age makes it more obvious, and uncomfortably so.

Any others with this "hang up"?

Apparently, you are not alone...

And, unfortunately, I'm finding this is a losing battle. Anyhow, I think it's a blown opportunity not to help someone (assuming there is a chance that they might be receptive) by actually withholding information about a way to an early/earlier retirement-- without having to be born rich or to be earning a huge salary. You might be the only person in this hygienist's world that has this information to share with her. Luckily, you will get another shot at this in six months.

 

[haha]

I guess it is the potential obvious connection with being retired at my age (56) and being "wealthy" (or more the public perception of being wealthy) that bothers me.

My problem as an ER (45) was being perceived as retired and non-productive, and not wealthy, at least by local standards. If I had been driving a new 911, taking frequent trips, sending my kids to private school and living in an expensive house, people would see have seen me as wealthy retired, and that would have been OK. This was of course well before our recent societal horror at the thought of successful people receiving money for their success.

But pinching my pennies, and doing much of my own home and auto maintenance, I just looked like a lazy go nowhere bum who wasn't getting it done for his wife and children. I am sure that my divorce in some degree was because my former wife thought she deserved to be taken care of in the way to which she had been accustomed, and that her looks and class and obvious wifely virtues should have earned for her, from whatever guy she settled on.


This may make no sense to ER inbabitants of Pleasantville, but it has been known to affect others.

It got way easier when I got old, although in a tricky morph, society has recalibarated its idea of when one is old enough to retire, so people still make the default asumption that I am working at a job.

Ha

 

[Wendy]

My problem as an ER (45) was being perceived as retired and non-productive, and not wealthy, at least by local standards.
Ha

Yes, to your comment and the OP's. When DH retires by age 56 (or sooner), at least we'll be able to say we're both getting pensions. Since my early forties, I've been either semi-ER'd or a lazy stay-at-home housewife, depending upon your perception. Some people probably think I make more at "consulting" than I really do; those who know I had a relatively well-paying job at MegaCorp might think we're wealthy, and I'm sure there's another group that just feels sorry for my poor husband who has to support me. Of course none of them know how much we have stashed away in the bank.

I really only care what family and a few friends think; I'd be happy to share our LBYM tactics with anyone who asks, like the dental assistant, but no one really does. Perhaps they're afraid to ask.

 

[brewer12345]

It got way easier when I got old, although in a tricky morph, society has recalibarated its idea of when one is old enough to retire, so people still make the default asumption that I am working at a job.

Ha

Just tell them you are a provider of male companionship for a very specialized clientele.

 

[scrabbler1]

I went to the dentist the other day and had a new hygienist clean my teeth. She asked me what I did for a living. I paused, not sure how to respond and not quite yet willing to refer to myself as retired. I just told her that I was between jobs and taking some time off. Perhaps I'll get more comfortable with referring to myself as retired, particularly with strangers, as time goes on.

I guess it is the potential obvious connection with being retired at my age (56) and being "wealthy" (or more the public perception of being wealthy) that bothers me. I've always had wealth in the closet as a LBYMer, but to be retired at this age makes it more obvious, and uncomfortably so.

Any others with this "hang up"?

I used to be less comfortable about revealing my ER status to acquaintances such the hygienist you described. But that soon wore off and now I answer it proudly, even though I am only 48 and have ERed for 3 years. If they ask me how I did it, I tell them.

I hope it wears off for you, too.

 

[BigMoneyJim]

A while back I had an ER friend answer "property manager" to The Question. When asked which properties, she smiled and said "mine".

 

[ls99]

A while back I had an ER friend answer "property manager" to The Question. When asked which properties, she smiled and said "mine".

Splendid answer.

 

[pb4uski]

Yeah, I am considering investment manager or personal financial planner until I get comfortable with "retired".

 

[Ronstar]

I can't wait until I'm fully ER'd. I think being retired will be easier to explain than what my friends refer to as my "arrangement". Some people don't understand part time work any more than early retirement. So when people call or email me asking what I'm doing, I always answer "working".

 

[DangerMouse]

Finally after 3 years of not working and fielding numerous questions from friends, family, total strangers about when I was going to be getting a job they seem to have stopped. I figure they have just decided that I am lazy and are not going to bother asking any more.

 

[Nords]

I figure they have just decided that I am lazy and are not going to bother asking any more.

They've decided that your unemployment benefits have run out, and they're afraid that you're going to start asking them for money.

Or so I've read about similar situations...

 

[skipro3]

They've decided that your unemployment benefits have run out, and they're afraid that you're going to start asking them for money.

Or so I've read about similar situations...

Now THAT is an image I would be happy to encourage. The other way around elicits two reactions when people know I'm retiring this year; either jealousy for something I do not deserve, (guess they know me better than I thought, ha!) or holding their hand out since I obviously have more money than I know what to do with if I can afford to quit working.

 

[Onward]

Finally after 3 years of not working and fielding numerous questions from friends, family, total strangers about when I was going to be getting a job they seem to have stopped. I figure they have just decided that I am lazy and are not going to bother asking any more.

This describes my situation exactly, though I'm only two years in.

 

[PaddyMac]

In the UK there is no early retirement age, you have to reach 65, although a timeline is now in place to increase this to 67 between 2034 and 2036.

The law has only recently changed. It used to be that women could retire at 60 but men had to wait until 65. Not sure if this was just for government workers, but my older sister was born in the last year that this applied, and retired at 60 on a full government pension just a few years ago.

 

[Alan]

The law has only recently changed. It used to be that women could retire at 60 but men had to wait until 65. Not sure if this was just for government workers, but my older sister was born in the last year that this applied, and retired at 60 on a full government pension just a few years ago.

That's correct. I didn't want to complicate the post with the differences between men and women, which the law is now in the process of equalizing.

 

[Chuckanut]

I'm assuming this is a type-o, but it is a damn good one. Brings forth quite the image.

Darn that Good Fairy!! The secret of my magical success is out!

 

[TromboneAl]

I guess I'm just a show off, because I enjoy it when people ask what I do and I say I'm retired. I like to see the surprise on their faces. I enjoy the "but you're too young..." and "Whadya do all day?"

I worked hard for it, and I'm proud of it.

 

[Goonie]

I guess I'm just a show off, because I enjoy it when people ask what I do and I say I'm retired. I like to see the surprise on their faces. I enjoy the "but you're too young..." and "Whadya do all day?"

I worked hard for it, and I'm proud of it.

+1

 

[mickeyd]

"What work do you do?".....

Thanks to my financial independence, my entire day is spent in service to others in need.

 

[braumeister]

I'm a consultant.

Who do you work for?
I'm an independent, self-employed consultant, so I work from home.

What kind of consulting do you do?
It's a very specialized field, but it involves financial transactions. How about you? What kind of w*rk do you do?

The subject has now been shifted, and is unlikely to circle back.

 

[travelover]

I guess I'm just a show off, because I enjoy it when people ask what I do and I say I'm retired. I like to see the surprise on their faces. I enjoy the "but you're too young..." and "Whadya do all day?"

I worked hard for it, and I'm proud of it.

+1 I started working at 14 with a paper route and held a j*b until age 54. I, too, am unashamed of my own success.

 

[CyclingInvestor]

I guess I'm just a show off, because I enjoy it when people ask what I do and I say I'm retired. I like to see the surprise on their faces. I enjoy the "but you're too young..." and "Whadya do all day?"

I worked hard for it, and I'm proud of it.

+1

 

[Nords]

I'm a consultant.
Who do you work for?
I'm an independent, self-employed consultant, so I work from home.
What kind of consulting do you do?
It's a very specialized field, but it involves financial transactions. How about you? What kind of w*rk do you do?
The subject has now been shifted, and is unlikely to circle back.

Unless the next question is:
"Hey, cool, man, my usual source hasn't made bail yet, so do you think you could sell me a dime baggie to tide me over?"