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Death after ER paid for?? (cremation/burial)
Old 12-10-2009, 07:43 AM   #1
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Death after ER paid for?? (cremation/burial)

Is is common among ER's to have their cremation/burial paid for already? My parents have already told us instructions are spelled out in their will for no funerals, but she showed me her "card" in her wallet - this lets her die anywhere, and all expenses from wherever she passes (including overseas) back to CA are covered, in addition to her desired cremation. Dad has one too. She was thrilled she could die in Italy, and would be sent back to CA! Her sense of humor is a little off.

Is your post-mortem processing paid for?
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Old 12-10-2009, 07:54 AM   #2
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Prepayment can work out fine, but there is the possibility that the company will no longer be in business at that time, and wishes can change.

Prearrangement (with no or a small fee for the paperwork) is, I think, a better option.
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:23 AM   #3
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At one time we wanted to pre-pay for our post death festivities and accomodations. Then when my dad died, I had a bad experience with a cemetery where mom and dad purchased lots and pre-paid burial expenses. I'm really sensitive to being ripped off, far more sensitive than the dollar amount might justify, and having to arm wrestle a con-artist while grieving for dad wasn't a pleasant thing. (The cemetery folks were busy pointing to why some things that should have been covered, weren't covered. Real jerks.)

Based on that experience, we're doing the following:

1. DW wants the traditional "planting" near other family members so we're buying some lots while they're available.

2. We have some old whole life policies where the annual dividend more than pays the premium. We're just allowing those to be in place with our son as the beneficiary as they will provide more than enough cash to handle burial expenses and other immediate issues while the estate is being settled.

Other than locking in the geographical location of your lots (if you even care to have them, that's personal), I see no advantage to pre-paying.
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:42 AM   #4
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Prepayment can work out fine, but there is the possibility that the company will no longer be in business at that time, and wishes can change.

Prearrangement (with no or a small fee for the paperwork) is, I think, a better option.
I don't have anything set up yet, but this sounds like a good idea to me. As I get older (maybe in my late 70's, early 80's?) I think I will set up a checking account jointly with my daughter. That way as soon as I expire she can easily remove sufficient money to pay the burial expenses.

And with all the decisions made in advance, as Walt suggests, then she won't have any tough decisions at that time either.
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Old 12-10-2009, 09:46 AM   #5
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As I get older (maybe in my late 70's, early 80's?)...
Always the optimist. Shouldn't that be "If I get older..."?
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Old 12-10-2009, 10:07 AM   #6
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Always the optimist. Shouldn't that be "If I get older..."?
Pessimist!
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Old 12-10-2009, 10:12 AM   #7
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Once I'm dead I'd love to donate whatever giblets I have to help others, but my friend who is a nurse told me after 62 they don't want your giblets. Too old.
So, the next best thing to help someone is to donate your body to some medical school for autopsy I guess.
I just hate to see anything go to waste; and am against wasting good land for burials, but that's just me. Not trying to offend anyone who's into being buried as it's a personal decision...just not mine.
If I can't donate my body to anyone (nobody wants me?) then just cremate me and spread me somewhere there are pretty flowers and fauna around I've told my son. He can pick it as he has great taste and knows I just love flowers.

But, buying this far ahead as I'm assuming I'll live till 90 like the folks, no. Maybe like W2R I'll pay for cremation when I get deep into Geezerville.
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Old 12-10-2009, 11:28 AM   #8
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Nope, we don't have pre-paid burial arrangements. A lot could change between the way we feel now and the way we'll feel then...(well the one that's alive of course) .
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Old 12-10-2009, 01:37 PM   #9
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All those horrible details are covered for me, wife and son by an insurance. We have even chosen the funeral parlor. Elegant and chic. The mourners will be very confortable....The bereaved won´t notice all the good taste being, as they will, in a state of shock
Can we change the topic or cancel this thread
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Old 12-11-2009, 08:49 AM   #10
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I haven't given it much thought. I guess I won't care because I'll be DEAD.
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Old 12-11-2009, 09:08 AM   #11
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My parents bought a cremation plan at the Neptune Society for themselves and my aunt. Since they are all still alive, we don't know if the business will still be there when needed. I sure hope so. They ages range from mid 80s to mid 90s....I was thinking of doing the same thing.....I guess it would be wise to wait and see how well it works when it's needed.
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Old 12-11-2009, 09:26 AM   #12
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I don't have anything set up yet, but this sounds like a good idea to me. As I get older (maybe in my late 70's, early 80's?) I think I will set up a checking account jointly with my daughter. That way as soon as I expire she can easily remove sufficient money to pay the burial expenses.
When my mother passed away we (two sisters and I) were so grateful that she had made prearrangements. The only decision we had to make was what kind of flowers. This took away a lot of decision making at a very difficult time.

Prearrangement is not something you do for yourself. It is something you do for those left behind.
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Old 12-11-2009, 09:02 PM   #13
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I haven't given it much thought. I guess I won't care because I'll be DEAD.


LOL. What Bum said.

That reminds me of a poem I love...

Wallace McRae, Cowboy Curmudgeon* "Reincarnation"***** Cowboy Poetry at the BAR-D Ranch******** www.CowboyPoetry.com
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Old 12-11-2009, 09:10 PM   #14
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my tightwad dad (god bless him) started the family tradition of using "direct burial", which is pretty much a "paper or plastic" bag'em and burn'em service for $700.

life celebrations are done in zero cost locations or just dinner at a restaurant and when possible, social events are done BEFORE the death when there is a terminal illness involved

the ashes were buried under a memorial that was built by my uncle at the clan cottage.

it would have stopped with that, but after his death a special cemetary opened for mounties near where my mom lives, and she thought that dad would have wanted to be there if it had existed when he was alive...so we bought a plot and a memorial, which is big enough to take the ash cans of 40 or so kin, dug up and reburied the ashes one grey November day.

my favorite part about it is that when we were signing up, extra land was released in the front row, so he got his stone right up front, ahead of a bunch of officers I grew up hearing him complain about. (he was a non-comm)
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Old 12-11-2009, 09:13 PM   #15
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Orchid,
I have a BIL that died at 78. He donated his body to a medical school in Dallas. At least that is what his x wife and kids told us. No funeral expense. So you might want to check with the schools around you. It might not be too late.
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Old 12-11-2009, 10:26 PM   #16
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I have donated my body to the local medical school. They have their own crematorium. I have to decide to let them deal with the cremains or if I should bequeath money for someone to scatter them.

Anyone want to go to Isle le Haut?
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Old 12-12-2009, 07:48 AM   #17
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Like Khan and Orchid we'll be donating our bodies, and if we are too old for any harvesting then autopsy practice, or whatever, will be just fine.

DW's mother died in October and her will stated cremation, no flowers and named her favorite charity for donations. Even cremation has a fair bit of waste - shroud, coffin, hearse etc.
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Old 12-12-2009, 07:55 AM   #18
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I've made no plans for myself.
But I do sometimes wonder: if I die quietly in my home, how long will it be before anyone notices they haven't seen me in a while.
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Old 12-12-2009, 08:06 AM   #19
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I've made no plans for myself.
But I do sometimes wonder: if I die quietly in my home, how long will it be before anyone notices they haven't seen me in a while.
Earlier this year for a woman in Edinburgh, Scotland it took 6 years
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Old 12-12-2009, 09:59 AM   #20
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Prepayment can work out fine, but there is the possibility that the company will no longer be in business at that time, and wishes can change.

Yeah, this happened to my father in the course of 6 months. My mother passed away, within a few months the vampires at the funeral home had sold him a 'pre-need' service.

A few months later, when it became obvious he couldn't live alone, one of his concerns about moving in with one of his kids (all of whom were 1000 miles away) was the fact that he had already paid for this funeral in his current home town.
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