Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Did you regret moving away after retiring?
Old 06-22-2014, 07:46 AM   #1
Recycles dryer sheets
keegs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: In a van down by the river
Posts: 407
Did you regret moving away after retiring?

We're considering retiring to a favorite vacation location that's several hundred miles from where we live now. For those of you who've done such a move, what was your experience?
__________________

__________________
keegs is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-22-2014, 08:05 AM   #2
Recycles dryer sheets
Willers's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 480
My experience is that vacations are always different than real life. I suggest renting for 2-3 months before relocating to see if it is really where you want to be every day, all year. That's a very different thing.

Some know for sure that the vacation spot is the place. It sounds like you aren't too sure so a trial might be a great way to test it out. If you are working and that isn't possible then try to go there for a week at a time that is the worst weather period (hot or cold or snowy or wet). That will help too. We've crossed a couple of places off based on doing that. Every place is great at the perfect time, not all are as attractive in the "off-season".

Just curious, where are the two locations?
__________________

__________________
“If you don't do it this year, you will be one year older when you do.” - Warren Miller
Willers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 08:20 AM   #3
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willers View Post
My experience is that vacations are always different than real life. I suggest renting for 2-3 months before relocating...
...Every place is great at the perfect time, not all are as attractive in the "off-season".
I think this is excellent advice! For us, relocating is not an option for DW. Unless of course, the grandkids relocate. We might follow in that case...
__________________
Best!
-AJ
ajs56 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 08:37 AM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ls99's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,792
Not at all.

Now for the rest of the strory.

Where we now live, we never knew existed. We knew that moving form a charming stone house which I bought before meeting now DW, was essential. The neighborhood turned to crap. When I bought the place it was a largely unknown area. Then the developers targeted the next town with apartments co-ops and condos. That was the end of menay acres of cornfields and orchards. And came the obnoxious macmansions, and some distance away the section eight ghettos.

On one of many excursions to find a ne home at least several hundred miles from the washimore corridor, preferably mountains and in really small town. On one of these the cabin we resrved and paid for ahead time was found locked, the manager's apartment emty. we needed a place to stay overnight. As at happened the map showed a town a few miles away, where we found an actual but small hotel. Luckily we gaot a room.

Getting going the next morning, we asked where to have breakfest, as they did not have a restaurant in house. The clerk said most locals go to a litle diner about two blocks away. On the way as we turned the next corner, DW announced this is it.

Had a pleasant breakfest, we walked about a bit, heck the town is at most a mile and half long and half wide. It is an appealing little place.

After several trips back we bought a house a little over 3 miles from center of town.

7 years later it was still a great decision. We are three mountain ranges and nearly 300 miles from the old place.
__________________
There must be moderation in everything, including moderation.
ls99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 09:49 AM   #5
Moderator
MichaelB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Rocky Inlets
Posts: 24,487
We moved, and still miss some of the lifestyle aspects of where we lived. No regrets, though. Not a bad suggestion to go live there for a while before commuting to a permanent move.
__________________
MichaelB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 10:25 AM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
keegs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: In a van down by the river
Posts: 407
Thanks all for you contributions...

We live year round in the NY metro area and have a place in ME. We're considering making ME our retirement destination. We've been vacationing there for 30+years and have a pretty good idea what it's like, the long winter months, being without those certain food items etc.

I suppose a big concern is the distance between family and friends.
__________________
keegs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 10:48 AM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,735
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
We have moved around a lot. What we find is that most acquaintances will not maintain the relationship. But the ones that do will be friends for life. So in a way it is healthy because you find out who your real friends are. And we make a new bunch of acquaintances in the new place too!

With family, it is more being involved in the many milestones. No problem for us getting there, but there is an out-of-sight out-of-mind aspect. School events no problem but the deciding soccer game? No.

We chose to pass up the many smaller events and live our own lives rather than live for the grandkids. YMMV - We find some women must be considered essential in the lives of their grandkids. But when your daughter lives in Australia, it is not practical.

One of our friends commutes in from their island paradise to babysit her newest granddaughter whenever asked! A 3 hour trip one way...
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 10:55 AM   #8
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,934
I can tell you about other side of the coin - - what might be the result if you DON'T move?

We originally planned to move, so once we were retired we renovated, decluttered, staged, packed up almost all of our stuff in boxes to get it out of the way, and put our houses on the market. After a few months of that he got an offer on his house that he didn't like, got upset, and changed his mind so we took our houses off the market and didn't move after all. Sometimes I refer to this as the "move-that-never-happened".

No, I didn't kill him but I think he expected it.

This is our fifth year of retirement and we are STILL talking about moving, or not. Only the idea doesn't seem fresh and fascinating like a shiny new penny any more. We are seeing a little more of the down side of the town
we intended to move to. We are in limbo. One of us will send a real estate listing to the other, and we forget to even discuss it. Then the other will do the same.

It just makes me groan when I think of all the work it will take to move now. We are not getting any younger. We have settled into a retirement routine. We no longer have the energy or desire to vary that routine as much as it will take to move. I think it would have been easier to do it right after retirement, when we were in transition and the idea seemed more exciting and fun. Still, our neighborhoods are not getting any better, so eventually I suppose we will have to move. Or not. We have been sitting on a fence nearly forever. I can't imagine living here for the duration, though.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 11:27 AM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
I can tell you about other side of the coin - - what might be the result if you DON'T move?

We originally planned to move, so once we were retired we renovated, decluttered, staged, packed up almost all of our stuff in boxes to get it out of the way, and put our houses on the market. After a few months of that he got an offer on his house that he didn't like, got upset, and changed his mind so we took our houses off the market and didn't move after all. Sometimes I refer to this as the "move-that-never-happened".

No, I didn't kill him but I think he expected it.

This is our fifth year of retirement and we are STILL talking about moving, or not. Only the idea doesn't seem fresh and fascinating like a shiny new penny any more. We are seeing a little more of the down side of the town
we intended to move to. We are in limbo. One of us will send a real estate listing to the other, and we forget to even discuss it. Then the other will do the same.

It just makes me groan when I think of all the work it will take to move now. We are not getting any younger. We have settled into a retirement routine. We no longer have the energy or desire to vary that routine as much as it will take to move. I think it would have been easier to do it right after retirement, when we were in transition and the idea seemed more exciting and fun. Still, our neighborhoods are not getting any better, so eventually I suppose we will have to move. Or not. We have been sitting on a fence nearly forever. I can't imagine living here for the duration, though.
Your posts always strike me as real, and coming from someone who has had her eyes open for a long time. The tenor of your posts on this topic has changed, which I would guess reflects the shifting feelings you mention in this post.

I can relate to everything you say here. It has always seemed to me that New Orleans would be an easy place to be happy, given that the climate were appealing, if two issues could be solved. Can you avoid becoming a crime victim, without losing the advantages of city living, which are after all are why you are there? And, can you and your homes avoid the effects of hurricanes?

While the first may be possible by spending enough on a very high security, high quality concierge building, I don't think it can be avoided with any certainly in a SFH, no matter where it is located. Living in multi families, I had one issue once while I was living on the ground floor. Solved by picking up my shotgun off the floor alongside my bed where I kept it as a realistic aspect of the neighborhood. I then moved. But I have never had a SFH that did not have break-ins and burglaries while I was away, or threatened but repelled break-ins while home. Didn't like this. I am not cowboy, I have no plans to get involved in a gun fight. So I like to live on upper floors, in well designed multis.

The hurricane problem seems insoluble, rather like the earthquake problem here.

Sometimes the best thing is to re-evaluate one's constraints, and rank them: necessary, nice, and meh. Of course I realize that there would be two people doing the ranking, and this introduces a whole new aspect.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 11:44 AM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,735
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
I think W2R needs to evaluate whether her comfort with NO is because of inertia. I am not familiar with her target city. But I believe that inertia is a big factor in any move or lack thereof.

IMHO every move was like pushing off from the dock in a new boat. Exciting but also worrying.

However, it is important to become satisfied with the choice and avoid any woulda shoulda coulda...
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 11:58 AM   #11
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,934
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Your posts always strike me as real, and coming from someone who has had her eyes open for along time, maybe forever. The tenor of your posts on this topic has changed, which I would guess reflects the shifting feelings you mention in this post.

I can relate to everything you say here. It has always seemed to me that New Orleans would be an easy place to be happy, given that the climate were appealing, if two issues could be solved. Can you avoid becoming a crime victim, without losing the advantages of city living, which are after all are why you are there? And, can you and your homes avoid the effects of hurricanes?

While the first may be possible by spending enough on a very high security, high quality concierge building, I don't think it can be avoided with any certainly in a SFH, no matter where it is located. Living in multi families, I had one issue once while I was living on the ground floor. Solved by picking up my shotgun off the floor alongside my bed where I kept it as a realistic aspect of the neighborhood. I then moved. But I have never had a SFH that did not have break-ins and burglaries while I was away, or threatened but repelled break-ins while home. Didn't like this. I am not cowboy, I have no plans to get involved in a gun fight. So I like to live on upper floors, in well designed multis.

The hurricane problem seems insoluble, rather like the earthquake problem here.

Sometimes the best thing is to re-evaluate one's constraints, and rank them: necessary, nice, and meh. Of course I realize that there would be two people doing the ranking, and this introduces a whole new aspect.

Ha
The crime is more of an issue for me than the hurricanes. But condos in a high security, concierge type building here are not as common as in Seattle, I suspect. Here, a condo like that would cost a minimum of three times as much as my present single family home, as far as I can determine. I am just not willing to spend half of my portfolio on real estate here given the hurricane situation.

I agree with you 150% about not wanting to be a cowboy. I refuse to buy a gun because I am not a gun-toting Annie Oakley and I would be more likely to shoot myself accidently than anyone else. I am just not the type of person who can shoot another human being, either. I would be a liability, not an asset in an armed conflict. He, on the other hand, is always armed and heaven help anyone who tries to burglarize his home.

While there still might be burglaries in Springfield, we think/hope that they would be less frequent. From what we can tell, burglars up there seldom murder and are just after stuff (which I can afford to lose). Here, no matter how good the neighborhood, burglars all too often will murder if someone is in the home or interrupts the burglary. New Orleans is a bit too much of a free fire zone for comfort and law enforcement is so overwhelmed here. On the other hand, New Orleans has equally strong advantages, as you know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
I think W2R needs to evaluate whether her comfort with NO is because of inertia. I am not familiar with her target city. But I believe that inertia is a big factor in any move or lack thereof.

IMHO every move was like pushing off from the dock in a new boat. Exciting but also worrying.

However, it is important to become satisfied with the choice and avoid any woulda shoulda coulda...
Inertia is a big factor, true, and it is double the issue since there are two of us involved in the decision.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 01:41 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Mulligan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 7,384
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
The crime is more of an issue for me than the hurricanes. But condos in a high security, concierge type building here are not as common as in Seattle, I suspect. Here, a condo like that would cost a minimum of three times as much as my present single family home, as far as I can determine. I am just not willing to spend half of my portfolio on real estate here given the hurricane situation.

I agree with you 150% about not wanting to be a cowboy. I refuse to buy a gun because I am not a gun-toting Annie Oakley and I would be more likely to shoot myself accidently than anyone else. I am just not the type of person who can shoot another human being, either. I would be a liability, not an asset in an armed conflict. He, on the other hand, is always armed and heaven help anyone who tries to burglarize his home.

While there still might be burglaries in Springfield, we think/hope that they would be less frequent. From what we can tell, burglars up there seldom murder and are just after stuff (which I can afford to lose). Here, no matter how good the neighborhood, burglars all too often will murder if someone is in the home or interrupts the burglary. New Orleans is a bit too much of a free fire zone for comfort and law enforcement is so overwhelmed here. On the other hand, New Orleans has equally strong advantages, as you know.


Inertia is a big factor, true, and it is double the issue since there are two of us involved in the decision.

W2R, I was just down in Springfield the other day cleaning up some business there. Hadn't been there in 15 years, and almost got lost being hard headed and not writing down directions before leaving and no smart phone with me. Thankfully that town is one of best gridded towns I have been in so it was easy to get back on track to get to the correct place. I haven't checked but for city populations of 100k or more it has to be way up there in safety.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
Mulligan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 02:07 PM   #13
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willers View Post
My experience is that vacations are always different than real life. I suggest renting for 2-3 months before relocating to see if it is really where you want to be every day, all year. That's a very different thing.
+1

Visiting a place as a tourist is one thing, but living in it is totally another thing. We moved from Long Island, NY to Istanbul, Turkey about a year ago. It turned out that we really don't like a city with 14+ million people. So, we have decided to move to a smaller sea town in the South of Turkey. It is like moving from New York to Florida so there is no snow in winter but there will be a bit of extra heat in summer.
__________________
FIREdToBeExpat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 10:13 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
walkinwood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Denver
Posts: 2,677
We moved about 3 years after ER and have no regrets. We miss some things & the people we left behind, but have made new friends here & love the area.

Re: friends & family - that's a big one & as most things, it depends on you. We keep in touch with our friends & DW's family back east on the phone, email, FB & annual visits. Most of my close family is spread across the world, so I have lived this way for a long time & am used to it.

Moving is emotional & hard work (lots and lots of things to take care of) and you have to be outgoing (which is work sometimes) in your new location to build a new friends circle & support network. All of which is better done sooner than later.

There's also the chance that you will not be able to go back (there was a post on this topic a couple of months ago). A quick rise in home prices & you may be priced out of the market. Renting for a few months in your new location while still maintaining your main residence may be cheaper than making a mistake. We didn't do that, but were very aware of this risk.
__________________
walkinwood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2014, 10:34 PM   #15
Moderator Emeritus
aja8888's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 7,168
We moved last November to a one level, newer, but smaller home exactly 5 miles from our old home. We were in the old, two story place about 20 years and kids moved in and out several times going through bad times, school and divorces. It was like an Army barracks at times. And they left a lot of "stuff" behind in the attic and other places. So when we moved, it was a mess and we purged a lot of stuff. And 6 months later, we are still purging.

DW has a bad case of COPD and the move was tough on her since she is a "do'er" and packed most of the boxes. So it can be done, even at an "older" age, but it just takes longer. This will be our last move to a single family house.

We hired a moving service for the real heavy stuff and moved the rest ourselves. We didn't get much help from the kids, but that's another story. I will get even..
__________________
aja8888 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 10:21 AM   #16
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,735
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Inertia is a big factor, true, and it is double the issue since there are two of us involved in the decision.
and I think the two major threats, burglary and hurricanes, are sufficiently remote on a daily basis that they are not big motivators to move...
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 10:25 AM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,735
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
Quote:
Originally Posted by aja8888 View Post
We moved last November to a one level, newer, but smaller home exactly 5 miles from our old home. We were in the old, two story place about 20 years and kids moved in and out several times going through bad times, school and divorces. It was like an Army barracks at times. And they left a lot of "stuff" behind in the attic and other places. So when we moved, it was a mess and we purged a lot of stuff. And 6 months later, we are still purging.
We used MILs attic to store stuff when we moved to our apartment. Then when she died we had to finally deal with it all.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 10:28 AM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
REWahoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 42,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by kcowan View Post
and I think the two major threats, burglary and hurricanes, are sufficiently remote on a daily basis that they are not big motivators to move...
+1

Plus, discretionary relocation, like early retirement, likely works best when you are moving to something rather than away from something. I don't think W2R and her SO have found anywhere to move that provides enough "pull" to motivate them to pack the moving van.
__________________
Numbers is hard

When I hit 70, it hit back

Retired in 2005 at age 58, no pension
REWahoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 10:33 AM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,019
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
+1

Plus, discretionary relocation, like early retirement, likely works best when you are moving to something rather than away from something. I don't think W2R and her SO have found anywhere to move that provides enough "pull" to motivate them to pack the moving van.
W2R (and Frank), may the Force be with you!

Lewin's Force Field Analysis Explained
__________________
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2014, 12:38 PM   #20
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,934
Thanks, all. You are all probably right. I have no idea.

A former co-worker once told me that native New Orleanians NEVER move away. Frank says that doesn't apply to him, because he has done contract work in several other states. But, maybe there is more to it than we realize. His family has lived here for at least six generations or more, and nobody has ever moved away before AFAIK.

Meadbh, that link looks very logical and I will send it to Frank, too. I would be happy either way, but would like for us to make a firm decision about this one way or another sometime this year.
__________________

__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Moving away from kids in retirement emi guy Life after FIRE 28 11-13-2013 12:06 PM
Do you regret saving too much? JustCurious FIRE and Money 91 06-29-2012 12:01 AM
Did you downsize your fleet after retiring? DFW_M5 Life after FIRE 33 02-27-2012 04:49 PM
Retirement and moving away jambo101 Life after FIRE 25 07-04-2009 06:05 PM
Any regret for getting into management or vice versa Spanky Life after FIRE 35 01-26-2006 10:08 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:03 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.