Do we need Facebook in ER?

[DeborahB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lsbcal Very interesting comments so far. REWahoo, we must have some DNA in common. The identity theft thing is a good reason not to put out too much personal info on the web -- even here on the ER forum. Like NW-Bound I'm a bit introverted and spend too much time on the web at the present. I'd like to have more guy friends that are real and not virtual -- I could probably write a book on the psychology of that one. Maybe DW and I need to replace our wonderful corgi we lost a year ago. He was the only guy I could really relate too . I did a search using my name on Google like "searches performed My Name" . The first hits were for Facebook people with my name. There is also a well know airplane Captain with my name. So I guess in a way I'm already out there

I am especially careful on this board because it is public. You don't have to register to see the posts.

A google search of my name eventually does get some hits for the real me... but with a common first & last name, most of the hits are other people. Do you mean google to see who is searching for you? Ummm I'll have to try that one out!

I'm public, I have a public presence through various things I've done. So I am private as much as possible. Possibly a contradiction but I try...

[Westernskies]

Quote:

Originally Posted by FinanceDude FB is what myspace wishes it had become. Email is dead, that was "cool" about 10 years ago.........now I wear out my delete button on a daily basis getting rid of spam. I am much more likely to return a message on FB from a friend than that same friend through "regular" email.........

Check your PM...

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Westernskies Check your PM...

Looks like you ended up in his spam folder...

[Sarah in SC]

Eh, maybe it is just a lazy person's way to interact without a whole bunch of effort, like Ha's relative who uses texts to avoid personal interaction.
I'd rather interact with people on this forum and through FB than face-to-face most of the time, a symptom of my introversion. I love being able to text instead of talk to people. Also, if you want to keep up with young folks, their FB pages are a fascinating way to be up to date on their goings-on.

And as for that fling in Europe--I did have a guy contact me who had such a fling with a girl who shares my first and maiden name and hometown but is quite a bit older than me. I friended him and hunted her down to friend him, too. Kinda glad he wasn't my fling, but still nice to have a ringside seat!

I divvy up my friends into categories like Hooping, Music People, Internet-buddies, Work-related, and Real life. That way I can limit posts to those who would be interested in them or in photo albums that feature them.

[Lsbcal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by thinker25 ... Do you mean google to see who is searching for you? Ummm I'll have to try that one out! ...

I had read somewhere that might be possible but have forgotten how to do it. I was trying to do it but just came up with people who have a similar name to mine. Also tried "who is searching for XXX" but that didn't work either. Not sure I want to know the answer anyway.

[Lsbcal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DangerMouse What I find amusing is how everyone is reconnecting with these old "friends" from the past. If they were real friends would you have ever lost contact with them?

When I think of my friends from high school, I've concluded I like them as they are. Myths from the past. Don't think I ever had a guy that I'd call a true friend. Not in the sense that you could spill your heart out to them. For guys that's a problem I think. We guys all need to be John Wayne types I guess. You know, it's OK to open up and spill your emotional guts if you are dying in the arms of your combat friend on a battlefield somewhere far off. We spend a lot of time trying to be lead dog.

Maybe the spill-your-heart type friend is just reserved for female-female friendships? I think it works for some male-female relationships, mostly in marriage. Some of the things DW has told me that she's heard in her conversations with other females makes my jaw drop.

This could be a good topic for another thread ... hmmm.

[Purron]

I joined facebook ONLY because the charity group I'm a board member of decided to set up a page. It has been helpful for our group and quite popular. Here's my problem: a long lost cousin found me. We have nothing in common and, frankly, we are on opposite ends of the world reagrding our views on just about everything.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

[REWahoo]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purron Here's my problem: a long lost cousin found me. We have nothing in common and, frankly, we are on opposite ends of the world reagrding our views on just about everything. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

Second only to ID theft concerns, this is why I don't see any reason to have a FB account.

You kids get off my lawn...

[Major Tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purron I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

Just because someone is on your friends list on FB doesn't mean you have to interact with them that much (or even at all). My advice would be to leave her on your friends list and continue to log in with the same frequency (or lack of) as before. Just because her posts are on your stream (or whatever it's called) doesn't mean you have to comment on them. You may find that once in a blue moon she posts something you want to comment on. If not, no biggie.

[Purron]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Major Tom Just because someone is on your friends list on FB doesn't mean you have to interact with them that much (or even at all). My advice would be to leave her on your friends list and continue to log in with the same frequency (or lack of) as before. Just because her posts are on your stream (or whatever it's called) doesn't mean you have to comment on them. You may find that once in a blue moon she posts something you want to comment on. If not, no biggie.

Thanks. Good advice. I did tell her when she "friended" me I'm not really a "facebook person" and only joined to support my charity group.

[BigMoneyJim]

I'm more or less into Twitter but find myself not logging into FB to avoid people. I turned chat so I'm always "offline", so I guess that's not a valid excuse anymore, but it's the habit I'm in.

I first signed up for a cute girl I met while traveling, and then a bunch of people I used to sort of know found me. At first it seemed cool, but I don't really have anything to say to any of them, and I feel restricted in what I might post because they are politically and religiously nothing like me. I haven't defriended a bunch of people so far because it feels somehow rude.

Perhaps I can dig into the permissions and post only for certain groups, but that seems tedious, and twice since I've been on Facebook they've made changes compelling me to go update my security settings to my liking...er, less to my disliking, perhaps.

On the other hand FB indirectly improved relations between our somewhat recently divided extended family. Adding each other as friends was analogous to running into them in a public place and cordially saying "hi". I was scanning some family photos one weekend and put them up on FB, and somehow that sparked some renewed family ties.

One of FB's founder's goals was to map real life relationships, so I don't trust them at all. On the other hand, that ship may have sailed already with web ads that track you and shopping cards and credit and debit cards.

I have made a couple of FB groups for reading purposes. I don't care about most of the drivel my "friends" post, so I put family in one group, but I named it something arbitrary so it wasn't obvious it was a group of family.

And now a somewhat radical change of subject: My cousin has a coworker that has multiple fake FB profiles, and apparently this is a big thing, almost like a role-playing game only it's more escapist/voyeuristic fantasy than structured adventure and character-as-in-avatar building. These people get photos off the internet, talk about their (false) homes, (false) real social and daily life. They purport to date, marry and divorce others. It's as if your Sim has a FB page, only more involved. Weird.

[jIMOh]

It depends on the life you lead and what interests you...

I have family and friends which are all 200-500 miles away, and twin boys which are in lots of pictures. FB is a fast, convenient way of sharing that information (better than email).

If I send pictures in an email, it is taking up file space on everyone's server, so most likely a couple photos get viewed via email, then the email is deleted... if I post them to FB, others can see them any time, and there is a good history of photos from day 1 to present.

I check FB 2-3 times per day most days. I have CNN and some news stations which post to my newsfeed, so I don't need to look far to find the news of the day- most of the time.

However if the people which are important to you are around you every day, it is a communication method worth exploring.

Social media like FB will replace social emailing, but it won't replace the emails I get about banking, bills and investment (for example).

[Sarah in SC]

For those whose news feeds are clogged up with unwanted info about babies, lunches, parties, etc--just mouse over to the right of offender's post (this also includes any of those stupid FB game updates) and click on hide annoying person or hide annoying application.
Whoosh--away they go. You can keep them as friends, but you don't have to read their every missive. You can still go to their page to catch up, but it isn't in your face every day. I do this with friends who post too much religious stuff, or too much political stuff, or worst of all...too much baby stuff! Ugh!

[FUEGO]

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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Gee Fuego, get going on fluffing up that list or you'll miss being one of the cool kids...

Wow, your facebook friend count is about to break 300. Guess I'm not very popular...

Or maybe I'm focused on quality instead of quantity.

[rescueme]

No friends, no family, no FB...

I understand where it could be useful for those in "normal" situations; however I truly have no need for it.

I've done a FB search on my surname and the folks on it are all under the age of 30, and also in another country (from which my four grandparents emigrated from). There is nobody posting in English (but I'm sure those folks do speak the language).

I have no strong feelings to "find my roots" nor connect with some long-lost family "tree", at all...

[donheff]

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Originally Posted by Purron I joined facebook ONLY because the charity group I'm a board member of decided to set up a page.

I did the same. But now I like FB. In addition to family and old acquaintances it is an easy way to keep track of organizations I am interested in. You don't have to friend every random person who contacts you. I simply fail to respond to friend requests from people I don't know or am unsure about. A few people I friended who spew out enough boring BS to put you to sleep are still "friends" but I set FB to ignore their posts.

[Sarah in SC]

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Originally Posted by FUEGO Wow, your facebook friend count is about to break 300. Guess I'm not very popular... Or maybe I'm focused on quality instead of quantity.

Whatever, you are just jealous of my cool kid status.
And you are obviously not focused on quality if you have me as a friend!
Did you see the video of my DH skeet shooting where they got bored and started shooting each other instead (with the clays, not the guns)? Very funny, in a stupid southern man sort of way.

[FUEGO]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah in SC Whatever, you are just jealous of my cool kid status. And you are obviously not focused on quality if you have me as a friend! Did you see the video of my DH skeet shooting where they got bored and started shooting each other instead (with the clays, not the guns)? Very funny, in a stupid southern man sort of way.

No skeet shooting vids that I can see. You must have me on the "annoying people" list with limited access to view your feeds! I have a hard time navigating to find videos, so that could be the problem as well...

I did see more info and a link to the mototaxi junket. Something I am interested in (even though I'll probably never do it). Just another example how facebook increases the rate of serendipitous discoveries. One aspect of facebook that I find appealing is that all of my own friends are linked to me somehow. And when they post or share things (pics, vids, links, news articles, groups or organizations they like), there is a higher likelihood that I will find these things interesting (since I share something in common with all of my FB friends by definition).

[audreyh1]

Facebook is not for me. Although the local state park posts info on it sometimes and I follow there stuff. I don't care to have my personal information on FB.

We use iChat to talk to family members in real time (instant messaging) and we can switch to video chats whenever we want. That's how we keep track of my brother's family and his new baby in Amsterdam. All my immediate family members (except one) have Macs and we see each other pop up as "being on line" all the time.

Audrey

[Nords]

I've been using Facebook for about three months now. The only reason I care is because it's a way to keep in touch with my daughter, and by far the best marketing tool for the book.

Once I had my daughter show me the ropes, I learned a few things:
- If you want to keep in touch with your progeny's progress (or lack thereof) you better ask them nicely to "friend" you so that you can read their wall. Otherwise you'll probably never hear from them again (unless they need money).
- With one exception, now I know why I haven't kept in touch with my high-school classmates.
- I don't know about you other Facebook public figures, but I'm getting a significant number of "friends" requests from busty comely young lasses who apparently have nothing better to do than photograph themselves naked. I guess it's a different sort of public exposure but they seem to be attracting a crowd of military, er, "friends" who might also be interested in buying the book. I just have to figure out a way to make this cross-marketing work for all of us.

When I'm done with vicariously enjoying my daughter's life and no longer marketing things on Facebook, then I'll probably stop using the account.