Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-09-2019, 11:18 PM   #41
Full time employment: Posting here.
Oz investor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 855
i have been ( allegedly ) immature all my life

i am over 60 now and see no need to change

__________________
i hold the Australian listed versions of AU ( Anglo Ashanti ) , BHP , and JHG .

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Samuel Levenson
Oz investor is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 05-09-2019, 11:31 PM   #42
Moderator Emeritus
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,472
Quote:
Originally Posted by REWahoo View Post
I can only speak for myself: so far it has been considerably better than the alternative.
+1000
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2019, 11:38 PM   #43
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Katsmeow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 5,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
Makes me wonder why we all so desperately long to live into our late 80s, or 90s, or even to 100. I think we all have this fantasy vision of ourselves staying fairly healthy and surrounded by our loved ones up till the end, but the reality is far more grim and depressing in most cases.
I think there are a range of things and some of what we think of as grim and depressing when we are younger isn't seen that way by those at that stage.

Not everyone ends up in long term memory care. In fact, the vast majority of people don't. Yes, that possibility is scary to me. But the likelihood is that it doesn't happen. All I can really do is try to lead a healthy life now in the hope that maybe it makes a difference.

My mom died last year at 94. In early March of last year she was living on her own, still driving and mentally competent. Yes, she was a little forgetful but not awful. She was living her life the way she wanted to. She had some serious chronic health conditions, but really they didn't affect her life that much. Yes, she was much more unsteady on her feet than she had been in her 70s and she didn't have as much energy and she didn't really like to go out that much. But, honestly, she was pretty content with her life. She wasn't miserable at all.

And, then her chronic health conditions caught up with her. She ended in the hospital and it was downhill for 2 1/2 months and then she died. But, honestly, it wasn't a bad way to go. She lived independently doing what she wanted until the age of 94. She was mentally competent and was never close to needing memory care. The last couple of months were tough. But I am sure if you had asked her if she would rather have avoided those two months and died 10 years sooner suddenly -- she would have chosen what happened.

I do think many people underestimate some of the physical challenges of getting older and some of the impact of chronic illness. But, for many, if they are mentally competent they would rather have those challenges than not be alive at all....
Katsmeow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 05:19 AM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Amethyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 12,597
My Uncle lingered grotesquely with Alzheimer's for 14 years. Meanwhile my Aunt got it, and she hasn't recognized her kids for ten years. She is 93 and seems fit to linger to 100. This, I think, is what most of us dread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gcgang View Post
Don't worry about old age. It doesn't usually last that long.
__________________
If you understood everything I say, you'd be me ~ Miles Davis
'There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.’ Christopher Morley.
Even a blind clock finds an acorn twice a day.
Amethyst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 06:16 AM   #45
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Austin
Posts: 182
I’m less afraid of eventual physical decline than of cognitive decline. Both are inevitable but I worry more about not being able to make sound decisions. If my brain is working reasonably well, then I can self-advocate and, I hope, pay for physical care. Dementia is a different ballgame.
Austin704 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 06:45 AM   #46
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 11,317
My 15 years older brother and his wife were together in a memory unit for the last two years. I found it depressing when I visited but if I'm objective about it they both seemed to be in good spirits. I don't want that for myself but the law doesn't give us good options. The only out is to kill yourself but the catch 22 is that you won't be ready to concede it's time until it's too late. One can only hope that, if you miss your window, you enter a pleasantly demented end period and not an angry/anxious end.

My brother caught a bad flu a few weeks back that morphed into pneumonia. He is in hospice now. The hospice facility and staff are top notch. All in all, as depressing as it feels from the outside it worked out as well as you could hope for him.
__________________
Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre -- Albert Camus
donheff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 07:18 AM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
street's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 9,416
I hate to even think about those years coming. My parents went through these years and I have no good memories of the last few years. A sad time in life for sure.
street is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 09:21 AM   #48
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Teacher Terry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7,001
My friend that was the happiest person became paranoid and angry. Plus she paced for hours and slept little. It was horrible.
Teacher Terry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 11:35 AM   #49
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 8,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
My friend that was the happiest person became paranoid and angry. Plus she paced for hours and slept little. It was horrible.
I saw this with my Dad. I heard dementia patients have a great sense of fear.
COcheesehead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 11:39 AM   #50
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 3,508
Quote:
Originally Posted by COcheesehead View Post
I saw this with my Dad. I heard dementia patients have a great sense of fear.
Not all do.

My sister in law is always happy, even though she doesn't remember anyone.
joeea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 11:41 AM   #51
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Huntsville, AL/Helen, GA
Posts: 6,002
What was experienced in posting #1 is more of a reason to get started on life (after work) as soon as physically and fiscally possible.

We only have one time in this life, and it's time to grab all the gusto as soon as possible.
Bamaman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 12:00 PM   #52
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North
Posts: 4,029
Survival...and hope. Without hope, there is not much.
__________________
Time > $$$ ~ 100% equities ~ FIRE @2031
kgtest is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 12:03 PM   #53
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Colorado
Posts: 8,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeea View Post
Not all do.

My sister in law is always happy, even though she doesn't remember anyone.
She might be early in the process.

Behavioral Symptoms Associated With Dementia
In addition to the cognitive symptoms, most people with dementia exhibit what are called neuropsychiatric or neurobehavioral syndromes, more commonly known as behavioral and psychological symptoms. These symptoms can have a range of manifestations such as depression, anxiety, irritability, apathy, agitation or aggression, pacing, sleep disturbances, hallucinations, paranoia, and delusions.
COcheesehead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 12:05 PM   #54
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 3,508
Quote:
Originally Posted by COcheesehead View Post
She might be early in the process.
Not early at all. Everyone is different.
joeea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 12:08 PM   #55
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
ExFlyBoy5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: ATL --> Flyover Country
Posts: 6,649
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katsmeow View Post
I think there are a range of things and some of what we think of as grim and depressing when we are younger isn't seen that way by those at that stage.

Not everyone ends up in long term memory care. In fact, the vast majority of people don't. Yes, that possibility is scary to me. But the likelihood is that it doesn't happen. All I can really do is try to lead a healthy life now in the hope that maybe it makes a difference.

My mom died last year at 94. In early March of last year she was living on her own, still driving and mentally competent. Yes, she was a little forgetful but not awful. She was living her life the way she wanted to. She had some serious chronic health conditions, but really they didn't affect her life that much. Yes, she was much more unsteady on her feet than she had been in her 70s and she didn't have as much energy and she didn't really like to go out that much. But, honestly, she was pretty content with her life. She wasn't miserable at all.

And, then her chronic health conditions caught up with her. She ended in the hospital and it was downhill for 2 1/2 months and then she died. But, honestly, it wasn't a bad way to go. She lived independently doing what she wanted until the age of 94. She was mentally competent and was never close to needing memory care. The last couple of months were tough. But I am sure if you had asked her if she would rather have avoided those two months and died 10 years sooner suddenly -- she would have chosen what happened.

I do think many people underestimate some of the physical challenges of getting older and some of the impact of chronic illness. But, for many, if they are mentally competent they would rather have those challenges than not be alive at all....
I recall that you were going though that turbulent time about the same time I was dealing with my Dad's "life journey." My Dad's demise was similar. Most of his almost 90 years were without many medical complications. He had COPD and was in stage IV for more than a year, but was really doing well, considering. It was only the last 6 months when things started going down hill and it progressed fairly quick. The last two months were painful to watch but he was still living alone in his home and tending to most of his needs until the last few weeks. He was admitted into hospice (at home) on May 24th and I moved in on Jun 5th. He passed a little more than 2 weeks later. Yes, the last month was tough, but he accepted it with grace and passed quite peacefully...at home. Nonetheless, I am under NO illusion that I will be "as lucky."

Oh yes, and I have often heard the adage "getting old sure beats the alternative." My Dad used to respond, "how do YOU know?" when people would tell him that. A couple of days before he died, he said in a very authoritative manner when we were discussing his demise, "I think the alternative *is* the better choice."
__________________
FIRE'd in 2014 @ 40 Years Old
Professional Retiree
ExFlyBoy5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 01:16 PM   #56
Gone but not forgotten
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 11,447
My Mom lived till three months short of 100 . She lived in an apartment in an independent living facility . The last year she had aides coming to assist with bathing and laundry . I visited her in March 2016 and she was still able to dress herself and go to the dining room for dinner . She even attended a St. Patrick's Day party in the lobby and was upset because they did not serve green beer. She died three weeks later after a short hospital stay .Her main problems were severe arthritis but no heart or lung problems.She had no dementia . I doubt I will be that lucky .
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 01:17 PM   #57
Gone but not forgotten
imoldernu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Peru
Posts: 6,335
Living on campus in a CCRC for 15 years brings a degree of experience. We have known to one degree or another, several hundred older persons.

"What we really want?" ...as many wishes as there are individuals.

"Verge is 102, and one of the smartest, wisest ladies I have ever known. Pleasant and vivacious, looks to be early 60's, and involved in every activity and party.

Kelly and Helen, our elder couple will be 101 in October, and he'll go for his road test and drivers license renewal on his birthday. Floyd is 94 and and avid cartographer... Bo and his wife are my age, and he still plays touch football, as well as being the local library historian. Milo, at 94, visits with his daughter in Florida, and Granddaughter in South Carolina. Perhaps 6 or 7 in the nursing home or assisted living, over 100, but though physically weak, mentally alert.

Even in the Alzheimer's unit... about 60 persons, while memory/mentally impaired, many are healthy and not depressed.

Oh yes... of course there are many who are younger, more physically impaired, depressed, and not in a happy state. Many who die... sometimes 3 or 4 in a week. With an age spread from 65 to 105, to be expected.

With all that, a diagnosis of terminal physical problems or... as in my own case, progressive dementia, does not necessarily predict a miserable existence.

Twenty years ago, I may have felt differently, but today, not ready to leave this world.
__________________
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
--Dalai Lama XIV
imoldernu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 01:38 PM   #58
Full time employment: Posting here.
Beststash's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 578
Just finished my Chemo/Rad treatments for cancer and definitely want to get old/er - the experience made me dramatically aware of my mortality. Now just to get bad to my new "normal". At this point I definitely think it beats the alternative. However, I do think that at some point I will be ready to go depending on my physical situation.
Beststash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 03:45 PM   #59
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Western NC
Posts: 4,607
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katsmeow View Post
My mom died last year at 94. In early March of last year she was living on her own, still driving and mentally competent. Yes, she was a little forgetful but not awful. She was living her life the way she wanted to. She had some serious chronic health conditions, but really they didn't affect her life that much. Yes, she was much more unsteady on her feet than she had been in her 70s and she didn't have as much energy and she didn't really like to go out that much. But, honestly, she was pretty content with her life. She wasn't miserable at all.

And, then her chronic health conditions caught up with her...
Very much the same with my mom's mom.

Lived independently in a two-bedroom cottage at a local CCRC for almost 20 years.

No problems getting around, driving, etc.

Probably the hardest thing for her was losing one of her daughters (my mom) around her 90th birthday.

Then shortly before her 95th birthday she suffered a massive heart attack that left her bedridden & almost totally dependent on others for her ADLs.

So a couple weeks later she decided to discontinue all her medications, & died late that night.
ncbill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-10-2019, 03:53 PM   #60
Moderator
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,198
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncbill View Post
she decided to discontinue all her medications, & died late that night.
Another method, more common than most would realize, is to simply stop eating. I've talked with ER physicians who said it's not that unusual with very old people who don't want to deal with life any more. They generally have a very small appetite to begin with, so they are able to conceal what they're doing from their caregivers. That's what my mother did.
__________________
I thought growing old would take longer.
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is it really early retirement that we most want or do we want the absence of ... Markola Young Dreamers 60 06-06-2016 09:06 PM
Does anybody want to be rich when they get old? clifp FIRE and Money 222 01-13-2014 09:35 AM
Big-Name Investors Get Long, Get Loud and Get Richer timo2 Active Investing, Market Strategies & Alternative Assets 2 08-16-2013 08:02 AM
Old serial killers get old age pension?!? JacqJolie Other topics 0 04-14-2010 01:00 PM

» Quick Links

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:22 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.