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Old 11-20-2011, 03:55 AM   #21
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Same here. I enjoy the company of friends but I also need some time on my own sometimes.
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I'm pretty much both ways.
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Old 11-20-2011, 06:41 AM   #22
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That's pretty much what the "I" in INTJ stands for.
DW and I are both ISTJ, sometimes I'm INTJ depending on what version of the profile questions.

So we both have to have our "alone time" but also enjoy time with family and friends. We're looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner with lots of family, and will enjoy it, but then we'll want two days of "down time" after that.

And I'm probably going to join a local photography club soon, just to learn more about the subject and meet new people with a similar interest. But since it's only once a month it won't be overwhelming like a week-long organized trip would be.
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Old 11-20-2011, 08:34 AM   #23
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Same here. I enjoy the company of friends but I also need some time on my own sometimes.
Same here also. I enjoy time with family and friends, but I also enjoy my time alone when I can delve into my hobbies.
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Old 11-20-2011, 10:08 AM   #24
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I had to respond to this post as I have a different perspective on all of this. I am an ESTJ--a total extrovert--but ESTJ's also have to have quiet time alone. Maybe one of the only extroverted types that will go into themselves and need to be alone at times.

Friends are constantly now trying to get me to go out and do things 24/7 and don't understand that I like being alone at times. Good grief, I gave over 30 years to selling people, hence, I feel like I have earned that time alone now...and friends STILL don't seem to quite get it thinking that, since I am "funny" and make people laugh and seem to be enjoying myself around people, I just don't need time to re-charge myself. I do, tho.

Do I enjoy my own company? Heck, yes. I do lots of research on financial subjects and need 1. peace and quiet and 2 no toxicity in my life from outside sources.

The point is: Even some extroverted types need quiet time alone to enjoy their own company. And, yes, I do enjoy my own company....at least, I don't have to look my best then.
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Old 11-20-2011, 10:36 AM   #25
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I have also been rated as an ESTJ.

I oscillate between loving to be around people and enjoying "just me" time.
I spent a lot of time on my own as a teenager, so I am pretty comfy with solitude. I prefer being around people, as long as the drama level is low. I remove myself quickly from stressful situations, i.e. I control my exposure to negativity.

I can occupy myself easily for a day or two, but then I get itchy to be in a group of humans. Mr B's full time school (since late August) has been very interesting for both of us. He is here in the house with me, but unable to interact too much until his reading and assignments are done. He is a true people person and "drags" me out for group socializing on his few breaks. Or he goes out by himself if I am feeling lazy.

We both like the balance.
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Old 11-20-2011, 10:42 AM   #26
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Im single and live by myself with my 3 puppies. I am absolutely content by myself. I work 4 days a week, and the 3 days Im off, I often dont see anyone. I have so much that I enjoy doing right here, and frankly most people irritate the hell out of me. I do think in this era of computers, that people have great communication devices, such that you can stay home, never venture out, and talk to people until you're sick of them online.
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:11 AM   #27
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I've looked over the responses; I think we should organize an ER.OG Anti Meetup.
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:20 AM   #28
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I like spending time alone, and the nice thing about being retired is that I have the opportunity to do as much of that as desired. I also like spending time with Frank, and we have worked out a nice balance of being together vs alone. So far I have never run out of things to do in retirement.
...
I like this thead. Focused on this one word in W2R's response. For all of us it's about balance and that fulcrum is different for each of us.

Most of my interactions other then with DW are short and sweet. I've met some fun people while landscape painting in an informal group setting (Monday Morning Painters which you can do a search on). Also when I run in the park I've had some interesting conversations. People open up when you pass them over the years and then finally say hi and start a conversation about exercise (walking, running, cycling). Right now I'm thinking about getting a mountain bike to add to my park experiences.
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:21 AM   #29
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I've looked over the responses; I think we should organize an ER.OG Anti Meetup.
Does this mean we all meet at the same location, but only converse via the computer, behind individual partitions?
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:49 AM   #30
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I do enjoy my own company (INTJ with a strong I). I also do enjoy good conversation with other people but only for short periods of time (a couple of hours at a time maximum).
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Old 11-20-2011, 12:54 PM   #31
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I also am the same as what most of you describe. It gets tiring having to respond to others all the time. I am not a social butterfly and neither is my wife. We keep to ourselves and do our own thing. Other people around are too distracting.

We both have our small circle of friends and keep occupied with our hobbies and projects. I enjoy my dog's company more than that of most people.
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Old 11-20-2011, 01:49 PM   #32
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Does this mean we all meet at the same location, but only converse via the computer, behind individual partitions?
Sounds almost like one of our local coffee shops. Full of people, all hunched behind notebooks and smart phones, busily tapping away and nursing their half-caf soy lattes to the background smooth jazz (ecch...).

Disclaimer: I test out as INTJ or ISTJ on those profile things, and am used to spending time with just a computer or iPad and a cat o two.
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Old 11-20-2011, 05:47 PM   #33
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I do like my own company, always have and always will. But do moderate it with random chats, and coffee shop visits. +++ being a male figure skater has benefits, get to chat with ladies without any hassles.
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Old 11-21-2011, 09:00 AM   #34
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I hate myself!

Just less than I hate other people...
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:32 AM   #35
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I definitely like my "me" time. It is hard to get with a full time job, a wife, 2 kids, and tons of extended family living here in town.

An example of a perfect weekend morning for me would be to get up, make a cup of coffee and sit quietly for an hour or two. I could sit in my comfy chair in my office and read a book, or explore some topic on the internet. Or lounge outside in my hammock watching leaves fall, birds fly, and the wind blow across the lake. Unfortunately the demands of life often preempt this activity.

I agree - seems to be an ER-ish type of activity or interest. So many folks I work with act like they are scared to sit in a hammock for a couple hours by themselves lounging and relaxing. It is as if they feel compelled to be social and extroverted and busy. Like they don't know how to tune out or relax. However I had one friend tell me his zen moments come while he is working in the yard by himself. Nothing is more cathartic to him than spending an afternoon raking leaves, trimming trees or the like.

Another interesting dynamic is that grown adults seem to have a hard time just hanging out for no reason other than enjoy good company. There has to be something that the hanging out is organized around or contingent upon. Example: baby showers, birthday parties, watching the game, fantasy draft night, celebrations, etc. Why can't we just say "hey I think you are a cool dude/chick and I want to hang out with you and a few other people for absolutely no reason other than I think you are fun to hang out with". It's like I have to sell people on something so they have a pretext for hanging out. When we were kids, even adults in college, we could just hang out for no real reason. Does that happen anymore? It should.

Maybe everyone is so busy these days that they need a compelling reason to choose your event over some competing interest. Or they need a concrete activity to explain to the significant other why their attendance at that particular social event is mandatory.
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Old 11-21-2011, 12:42 PM   #36
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I am fine reading alone, exercising alone or walking around alone, or even watching a game alone. But it stops there. I hate to eat in a restaurant alone, or go to a bar alone, unless I am pretty sure I can strike up some conversations there. I will go to dances alone because it is easy to make connections, however shallow, in this environment.

I know myself well enough already, I like to get to know other people when I have some spare time. Not long ago I was thinking about how little of my life until my separation and divorce was spent alone. Big family in my original home, always roommates in university and while I was single working, then a long marriage and family life.

I don't want to live with a woman in America now; for me that life is over. So alone I will stay, but I need to have people to do things with and to talk to. Last night I was at my GFs. We were having a drink while she fixed dinner. She started grinning and I asked her what was going on. She said, "I just really enjoy talking with you". This made me feel good, because I really enjoy talking with her and I have worked pretty hard to make myself a better partner-dance partner, conversation partner, sounding board, whatever.

When I was twelve I was sitting in my Grandmother's house reading Robert Ruark's book, Something of Value. What stuck in my mind was an observation about the British trying to deal with Mau-Mau uprisings in Kenya. He said, if you want something from a people, (or an individual) you must give them in return something that has value in their eyes. Almost 60 years later I remember that statement, and I cringe when I realize how often I have failed to come through with this, and I renew my committment to doing it better as time goes on.


Ha
Ha-

After reading this post (and many of your other posts), you sound like a guy that would be great to chat with; I too hate being in a restaurant or bar alone (usually take a book). I especially like the Ruark quote; having moved frequently my entire life, ive found this to be true, although, I still need to practice at it.
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Old 11-21-2011, 12:56 PM   #37
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I had to respond to this post as I have a different perspective on all of this. I am an ESTJ--a total extrovert--but ESTJ's also have to have quiet time alone. Maybe one of the only extroverted types that will go into themselves and need to be alone at times.

Friends are constantly now trying to get me to go out and do things 24/7 and don't understand that I like being alone at times. Good grief, I gave over 30 years to selling people, hence, I feel like I have earned that time alone now...and friends STILL don't seem to quite get it thinking that, since I am "funny" and make people laugh and seem to be enjoying myself around people, I just don't need time to re-charge myself. I do, tho.

Do I enjoy my own company? Heck, yes. I do lots of research on financial subjects and need 1. peace and quiet and 2 no toxicity in my life from outside sources.

The point is: Even some extroverted types need quiet time alone to enjoy their own company. And, yes, I do enjoy my own company....at least, I don't have to look my best then.
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I have also been rated as an ESTJ.

I oscillate between loving to be around people and enjoying "just me" time.
I spent a lot of time on my own as a teenager, so I am pretty comfy with solitude. I prefer being around people, as long as the drama level is low. I remove myself quickly from stressful situations, i.e. I control my exposure to negativity.

I can occupy myself easily for a day or two, but then I get itchy to be in a group of humans. Mr B's full time school (since late August) has been very interesting for both of us. He is here in the house with me, but unable to interact too much until his reading and assignments are done. He is a true people person and "drags" me out for group socializing on his few breaks. Or he goes out by himself if I am feeling lazy.

We both like the balance.
This me---precisely. I rate ESTJ but, not high on the Extrovert scale. In fact, I took the M-B several years ago, for about the 3rd time, and there were two ratings: (1) your exhibited rating and, (2) your natural rating. I scored slightly E for "exhibited" and slightly "I" for natural. The bottom line for me is that I like (am energized by) being around people for short periods of time but, I need some alone time every day.

Interestingly, at least to me, is that I've noticed a pattern in myself as I've aged. I have become more "I" as I've grown older; not extremely but, noticeably. I'd be interested if others have noticed the same pattern and, if so, to what do you attribute that?
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Old 11-24-2011, 01:14 PM   #38
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Yes, I have. I attribute it to our natural personalities as ESTJ's that need time alone. It's in our DNA (and written in some of the many books I have on the Myers-Briggs.
Since we aren't working anymore we only have ourselves to please, so....we are...
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Old 11-24-2011, 01:35 PM   #39
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Another interesting dynamic is that grown adults seem to have a hard time just hanging out for no reason other than enjoy good company.

Maybe everyone is so busy these days that they need a compelling reason to choose your event over some competing interest.
I've noticed that trend too. For instance, I can't remember the last time I just went out with my Bro and SIL, just to do something together as a family. SIL has to invite everyone she knows to every event, every time. And because two couples don't get along, she doubles up on every party: she'll have a dinner with one group of friends one night, and another dinner the next night with the second bunch.

It gets a little old.
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Old 11-24-2011, 04:20 PM   #40
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Congrats on retiring so early. Intellegent people stay busy

I actually retied at age 53. I M now 62 and I enjoy my own company emensely. I love to read and watch vids on youtube. I constantly learn new facts. I have no desire to work for anybody and have to take orders, spend lots sof time worrying about my bosses financial problems and get shewed out when something goes wrong.

I like my freedom. Sometimes it gets boring and hard to find something to stay busy with. But that is a problem easily fixed. As long as I have a few dollars to spend, I get myself out there and meet people and have wonderful conversations. I enjoy helping others with small tasks, like getting moved etc. I find places where regular working people like to spend their free time and always meet interesting people.

Retirement is an art, just as the rest of life is a form of art, and practice makes perfect as we all know.
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