Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-08-2008, 09:33 AM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Goonie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: North-Central Illinois
Posts: 3,198
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeDreaming View Post
Maybe guilty is not the right word, but I'll feel bad that every single one of my friends will still be working for years to come.
IMHO, you not only shouldn't you feel guilty, you shouldn't even feel bad about their working situation. I mean your planning and adjusting to make ER possible for yourself, and they've had/have the same opportunity to do likewise. Whether others can plan ahead and stick to that plan is solely up to them. So there's no need to harbor ANY negative feeling about your ability to plan and execute an early out.

When I pulled the plug, there were other people who had about the same amount of years of service as I did. However, they were the ones who had only hoped to be able to ER, but they hadn't planned for it. Thus they're still on the treadmill, and will be for many years to come.......even so, they still aren't planning for their future escape. Sadly, most of them say they will stay working 'til they get dragged out of the place by their ankles, because they won't be able to afford to retire....early or otherwise.
__________________

__________________
Goonie is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-08-2008, 09:39 AM   #22
Moderator
Sarah in SC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,456
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goonie View Post
Sadly, most of them say they will stay working 'til they get dragged out of the place by their ankles, because they won't be able to afford to retire....early or otherwise.
Had a friend say the other day that they'd have to dig him up outta the ground to punch the clock, he's so far away from imagining being able to retire. This was after I mentioned DH will be retiring in just a few years.
My jaw dropped, seriously. I hope that it was a joke, but still!
__________________

__________________
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way

Sarah in SC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 09:40 AM   #23
Moderator
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A little ways southwest of Chicago
Posts: 9,341
I'm only partly semi-er'd taking off Fridays, but Friday is generally the day that I get the most flak from friends/family/coworkers, and I don't feel guilty one bit
__________________
Ronstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 09:46 AM   #24
Recycles dryer sheets
Jake46's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by vickko View Post
Do you feel guilty about ER?

e.g.

- should still be w*rking, contributing to society?

- having too much fun, life shouldn't be this good?

...Vick
Not a friggin' chance!
__________________
Jake46 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 10:10 AM   #25
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ls99's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4,792
Guilty? Heck no.
I earned it, I owe it myself and darn well enjoying it.
__________________
There must be moderation in everything, including moderation.
ls99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 06:57 PM   #26
Full time employment: Posting here.
mountaintosea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 553
I really don't understand this guilt thing? Very strange. I've been retired around 10 months and still loving it.
__________________
mountaintosea is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 08:00 PM   #27
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
harley's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Following the nice weather
Posts: 6,422
"Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness". As written in that most sacred of documents, the US Constitution. Everybody has the right to those things, and why should I feel guilty if I achieve them?

Now, I do sometimes feel bad that people I care for will not enjoy the freedoms I have, but it says somewhere in the Bible (or the script of Jesus Christ, Superstar) "the poor will be with us always". Poor by my definition meaning lack of FI. I worked hard to get where I am, and I got lucky in many ways too. I'm thankful, but not guilty.
__________________
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Will Rogers, or maybe Sam Clemens
DW and I - FIREd at 50 (7/06), living off assets
harley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 08:29 PM   #28
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by harley View Post
"Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness". As written in that most sacred of documents, the US Constitution. Everybody has the right to those things, and why should I feel guilty if I achieve them?

Now, I do sometimes feel bad that people I care for will not enjoy the freedoms I have, but it says somewhere in the Bible (or the script of Jesus Christ, Superstar) "the poor will be with us always". Poor by my definition meaning lack of FI. I worked hard to get where I am, and I got lucky in many ways too. I'm thankful, but not guilty.
Actually, that's in the Declaration of Independence.
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 08:29 PM   #29
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,031
No, Do you feel guilty still working and taking time away from your family and wasting gas by driving (probably alone ) to work and letting your health slide because you do not have time to work out and getting stressed and taking it out on your loved ones because you are working ?
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 08:35 PM   #30
Moderator Emeritus
Khan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pine Island, Florida
Posts: 6,868
Send a message via AIM to Khan
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
No, Do you feel guilty still working and taking time away from your family and wasting gas by driving (probably alone ) to work and letting your health slide because you do not have time to work out and getting stressed and taking it out on your loved ones because you are working ?

Guilty that I have lost weight, lowered BP, and become happy?
__________________
"Knowin' no one nowhere's gonna miss us when we're gone..."
Khan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 08:42 PM   #31
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
harley's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Following the nice weather
Posts: 6,422
Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan View Post
Actually, that's in the Declaration of Independence.
That's what happens whenever I get pompous. I end up looking like a fool.

But I still don't feel guilty.
__________________
"Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement." - Will Rogers, or maybe Sam Clemens
DW and I - FIREd at 50 (7/06), living off assets
harley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 09:12 PM   #32
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 28
After 33 years with the same employer, and busting my butt for my pension, I ER'd at age 56. In no way do I feel guilty for that!!

It was easy with my siblings, since I am the oldest. They never gave it a second thought.

Most of my real friends were from work and they either retired a year or 2 before me, or will be doing so soon. I do remember my own "jealousy" as my friends started to retire before me. But the knowledge that I would be there soon prevented that "jealousy" from being directed outward. I knew I just had to wait for my turn.

I agree with all the comments on "contributing to society". It's such an ambiguous term, and it means something different to everyone. No matter what, we all contribute in our own way.
__________________
BanDit1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2008, 10:33 PM   #33
Recycles dryer sheets
Gardnr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: ENE MO - near STL
Posts: 424
Quote:
Originally Posted by BanDit1 View Post
I agree with all the comments on "contributing to society". It's such an ambiguous term, and it means something different to everyone.
I honestly think it's mostly used in this context by those who are just flat out jealous and want to tear down those who have done the things they know they should have down, but didn't have the discipline to do.

It's like that "retiring is unpatriotic" B.S. article a while back.
__________________
Gardnr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 07:03 AM   #34
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,508
Why on earth would I feel guilty about working 29 years and then collecting the pension promised from day one?

At the moment I'm working again, mostly for toys, but it's optional and should be reduced to part time soon. If not, then I am free to decide whether to continue working or quit.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 08:06 AM   #35
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Leonidas's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright
Posts: 2,847
I would have to have done something wrong to feel guilty about.

As for contributing to society, I think I did enough of that for a couple of lifetimes. And I figure that my new role as a full-time housedad and capitalist investor means that I am still making a contribution.

No, not feeling guilty at all. Every time a former co-worker proclaims his jealousy, I just laugh and marvel at how well everything has worked out so far.
__________________
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. - Andrew Jackson
Leonidas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 11:22 AM   #36
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 275
DANG!! This got entirely too long !! SORRY!!

This is a bit hard being that I have not retired yet but I will make a couple observations....

1. Seems about half the retirees responding to this thread are saying something to the effect of " NO WAY! I worked 30ish years for "XYZ corp" and why would I feel guilty about taking my defined benefit?!"

To me (please note my bolded statement "to ME") that is not "ER" ... THAT is just plain old "R" . I mean who defines the age for the cutoff between ER and R? Surely not the Social SecurityAdministration! For example, let's use the Federal workforce ...... As a rule of thumb all long time Federal workers can retire between 55-57 depending on birthdate. So 55-57 surely is not early either as that is the norm, at least for all my peers. As a Federal worker i have always looked at it as "the max I will HAVE to work is 56yrs and 8months" as that is my Min. Retirement Age that I can get full medical benefits and an unreduced annuity. So in my mind anything a day later than that I would label "LR" (Late retirement)

To me "ER" is when I "luck" (lottery/inheritance) or work my buns off to be able to leave the workforce substantially earlier than most other people. I would never look around and see a 55 year old and think "oh, how nice they could retire early" especially since by the time I reach 55 I will have 37+ years under my belt.

2. Given what was said above (in #1) I would say that, for ME (please note my bolded statement "for ME") ER is somewhere at 50 or below.

Would I feel guilty if i could "luck" into or be able to work hard enough to amass enough (don't see it happening) to get to "ER"? It depends .... I would feel guilt depending on how I handled it.

"Whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required"

I have a brother that is every bit as much as worthy of catching a break as I and I would feel guilty if his family did not benefit from my "windfall" be it a lottery or just a "windfall of life" that has shined on me vs someone else. I mean he is my brother, of course i would need to hook him up and if I did not I would feel like a schmuck.

I would feel guilty if I used funds that would, in all probability, greatly increase the quality of life for my children (educational opportunities) so that i could retire a year or two early.

There are probably a couple other things that I would find myself doing in an ER situation that would allow me to feel substatially better about having the privelege of ER. Not necessarily monetary but related to giving of my time.

I understand there is a cutoff for this type of behavior/reasoning and I think it is probably different for each person to know, in their soul, (geesh that sounds stupid deep) where the "guilty cutoff" switch is.
I guess you can tell I am not the type to have the bumper sticker that reads.... "I'm spending my children's inheritance"

So........ guilt free ER (again FOR ME) would come with some requirements but again anything after 50 will feel less and less to me like "ER" because I will have worked several decades for it. I would still probably help out family and others in substantial ways but after 50 I would probably not feel the need to delay retirement a year or two so that I could be able to give that help. If I knew at 45ish I could retire and help family substantially or I could go at 42ish and provide just for my DW and my needs then I'd stay for the extra 3 years.


Ok, stepping off the box......
__________________
USAF Veteran -- Retired Air National Guard -- OSW -- ONW -- OIF
militaryman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 11:41 AM   #37
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Milton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,068
Quote:
Originally Posted by vickko View Post
Do you feel guilty about ER ... having too much fun, life shouldn't be this good?
An emotionally / psychologically healthy person shouldn't feel guilty about enjoying themselves, provided only that no one else is harmed. Surely we've matured beyond the tyranny of Webers' Protestant work ethic [see generally http://www.anxietyculture.com/puritan.htm].

So much has already been said about early retirees' contributions to society that I have nothing useful to add on that topic.
__________________
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive". Robert Louis Stevenson, An Inland Voyage (1878)
Milton is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 11:47 AM   #38
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,616
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonidas View Post
I would have to have done something wrong to feel guilty about.
As a marriage veteran and a parent I'm frequently under pressure to feel guilty in spite of my clear conscience...
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 12:12 PM   #39
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords View Post
As a marriage veteran and a parent I'm frequently under pressure to feel guilty in spite of my clear conscience...

I hear that --- I'm definitely NOT talking about guilt someone would like to inflict onto me. Rather based on a sense of responsibility that is engrained I would not feel "right" unless certain things were "taken care of" to enjoy an ER. Not sure I am passing any of this on though because my 15 y.o. daughter displays no sense of guilt as she grabs everything she can to "enjoy herself" and does not care what it costs those around her. All in good time I guess.
__________________
USAF Veteran -- Retired Air National Guard -- OSW -- ONW -- OIF
militaryman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2008, 02:44 PM   #40
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Milton's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,068
Quote:
Originally Posted by militaryman View Post
my 15 y.o. daughter displays no sense of guilt as she grabs everything she can to "enjoy herself" and does not care what it costs those around her. All in good time I guess.
Perhaps you and spouse should have a chat with your daughter. From what I have observed, such entitlement attitudes often become more entrenched as time passes (although I'm sure there are exceptions).
__________________

__________________
"To know what you prefer, instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive". Robert Louis Stevenson, An Inland Voyage (1878)
Milton is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
did you feel guilty if you ERed before spouse? retiringat50 FIRE and Money 17 07-11-2008 11:18 AM
another thing we can all feel guilty about, eating chocolate mickj Other topics 4 02-18-2008 07:33 PM
Feeling guilty Sweetlip Hi, I am... 11 12-30-2007 06:49 PM
Felt a little guilty Eyerishgold Other topics 26 09-25-2007 01:27 PM
Need help with feeling guilty! newguy88 Life after FIRE 17 10-02-2006 04:05 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:20 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.