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eating after FIRE
Old 01-11-2013, 09:33 AM   #1
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eating after FIRE

My in-laws retired early and are now 91. She tries as much as possible to control what they eat but my FIL buys junk and brings it in. I have great sympathy for both of them: if you can't eat whatever the h*** you want at 91, then when can you? OTOH, she doesn't want to lose him any sooner than necessary, and dreads having to live without him. Both are quite fragile.
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Old 01-11-2013, 09:44 AM   #2
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If I make it to 91 (doubtful) I'll eat whatever I please....
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Old 01-11-2013, 09:47 AM   #3
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In the case of my FIL who is in his 90s, he can eat whatever he wants, as long as it is pureed first.

And he can drink whatever he wants, as long as a thickening agent is added to turn it into a paste, so he can swallow without choking.
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Old 01-11-2013, 10:25 AM   #4
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My MIL's coffee is like that... too thick to drink -- too thin to chew.
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Old 01-11-2013, 10:26 AM   #5
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In the case of my FIL who is in his 90s, he can eat whatever he wants, as long as it is pureed first.

And he can drink whatever he wants, as long as a thickening agent is added to turn it into a paste, so he can swallow without choking.
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Old 01-11-2013, 10:31 AM   #6
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if you can't eat whatever the h*** you want at 91, then when can you?
My mom was always getting eating advice from her friends and the staff at the retirement community where she lived. She would often ask me what I thought about various bits of the advice, and I always told her exactly this.

Eventually, about age 92, my words took hold, and she finally stopped listening and simply ate whatever she liked. She told me many times how grateful she was that I had "given permission" for her to do so. Her last years after that (until 96) were happier as a result, since she gave up worrying about it.
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:17 AM   #7
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In all seriousness, I guess it might make a difference whether she is just talking about eating food that is junk and not optimal for health (which I would let go) or whether he is eating food that is seriously bad for him such as a diabetic constantly eating food that messes with his blood sugar. My mother (88) tends to do this when she visits and it does bother.

I do keep telling myself that it is her life and if she wants to end up dying sooner because of what she eats given her diabetes, she can make that choice. I do remind her sometimes that there are worse things than death. That is, if she makes herself much worse and has negative effects on her but she is still alive but can't live independently any more which is important to her. This has some effect....
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:32 AM   #8
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If I make it to 91 (doubtful) I'll eat whatever I please....
Me too! If I make it that long back up the bacon truck!
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Old 01-11-2013, 12:15 PM   #9
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In the case of my FIL who is in his 90s, he can eat whatever he wants, as long as it is pureed first.

And he can drink whatever he wants, as long as a thickening agent is added to turn it into a paste, so he can swallow without choking.
HIlarious
I didn't intend to be funny, but it is OK. My FIL was relatively healthy until his later years. In fact, less healthy people die long before his stage.

I was trying to point out that at the end of life, even the most simple things that we usually take for granted become unattainable. It is really sad, as I had observed my own father going through the same. Without relatives to patiently spoonfeed him, my FIL would be put on a feeding tube, as normal care givers cannot afford the time.

My point is that we should be eating and drinking what we enjoy now. No, not junk food, but higher quality foodstuff and more expensive if it needs be.

Of course if a person enjoys unhealthy and cheap junk food, it causes a dilemma when he/she is still younger and healthy. If you get to your 80s, it does not matter much anymore.
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:24 PM   #10
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Ill start taking better care of myself when I hit 150... got to look good in my later years...
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:11 PM   #11
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I would have thought coming from that generation, they would have had less exposure to junk food in their earlier years and therefore would not be tempted in old age. I have no illusions of living that long, but once RE starts, I'm going to make a big effort to get off the processed food band wagon
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:48 PM   #12
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Been thinking that when and if I get to 80 or even 75, I will eat and drink whatever I want. If it's not healthy, I'd die sooner and that may not be a bad thing.

As I described, my FIL is fairly healthy, hence he lasts a lot longer than others. He even said he did not want to live that long. YMMV.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:26 PM   #13
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If I make it to 91 (doubtful) I'll eat whatever I please....
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Me too! If I make it that long back up the bacon truck!
Me too. I hope they are still making Bluebell Ice Cream in lots of flavors if/when I am 91!
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:37 PM   #14
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Me too. I hope they are still making Bluebell Ice Cream in lots of flavors if/when I am 91!

As long as there's Rocky Road, I'm good!
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:27 PM   #15
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Some of the best advice comes from the beauty shop, which is where I was Wednesday night. We had this very discussion. It occurred to me that I really don't want to live to be 90+. So at 80ish, I plan to start smoking again, eating whatever the heck I want, whenever the heck I want to eat it, and I may resume some of my bad habits from the 70's.

My mother was in a home, suffering from Alzheimer's, a stroke, and Chronic Heart Failure, and she was paralyzed from the waist down - she was 92. Sounds like fun, huh? To top if off, they wouldn't let her have salt. At a team meeting, I asked her caregivers who there would trade places with her. Not one of them spoke up. I said I thought at the very least she should be able to salt her darned food. I had to further argue with her doctor, but we finally got the sodium back at her place setting. Good grief, it was ridiculous...

So, at that age, eat whatever the heck you want! May be the only fun you have that day!
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:32 PM   #16
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My mother was in a home, suffering from Alzheimer's, a stroke, and Chronic Heart Failure, and she was paralyzed from the waist down - she was 92. Sounds like fun, huh? To top if off, they wouldn't let her have salt. At a team meeting, I asked her caregivers who there would trade places with her. Not one of them spoke up. I said I thought at the very least she should be able to salt her darned food. I had to further argue with her doctor, but we finally got the sodium back at her place setting. Good grief, it was ridiculous...
Seriously, modern society stresses too much about longevity, and all they would measure medical progress is by how long they keep you breathing. Nobody cares about the quality of life, which they do not know how to measure. And a lot of times, it's not the medical profession but family members who would do this.
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:14 PM   #17
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Reminds me of that old quote - I think it was George Burns:

"If I had known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself"
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:14 AM   #18
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Reminds me of that old quote - I think it was George Burns:

"If I had known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself"
One of my favorite quotes, MD. I think that was Mickey Mantle's quote, in reference to the hard life he lived, thinking he wouldn't live to an old age because of his family history.
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:54 AM   #19
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When I'm in my 90s and losing my appetite I hope they still make full fat, full salt potato chips besides bacon and ice cream, to tempt me with.
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Old 01-12-2013, 11:40 AM   #20
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My in-laws retired early and are now 91. She tries as much as possible to control what they eat but my FIL buys junk and brings it in. I have great sympathy for both of them: if you can't eat whatever the h*** you want at 91, then when can you? OTOH, she doesn't want to lose him any sooner than necessary, and dreads having to live without him. Both are quite fragile.
I think your MIL is trying to take care of him the best way she can. Old habits are hard to break....
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