Embarrassed and guilty when asked...

[Luck_Club]

Quote:

Originally Posted by braumeister If you think it's tricky for folks like us, imagine the deeper levels of shame and embarrassment a lower end billionaire has to endure. "So, how many helipads do you have on your primary megayacht?" [apologies to any billionaire forum members]

None Taken...I WISH

[brett]

We live in a high end area. Just bought a few months ago. All the cars are very late model, expensive imports. Two per household.

DW says we must be the trash. Both our ours are 10 years old. We have no intention of replacing them so this situation may deteriorate. They are all retired but certainly want to know what we did for a living. Not sure whether to tell them we ran ponzi schemes or just fess up and admit to bank fraud.

Went to the HOA meeting earlier in the week. Big discussion about asking the city to change the size of the bins-all three. As if their call with change anything at city hall. After all, some people have two large SUV's and a motorcycle/scooter in the garage. Life is so very challenging for some people.

[bobandsherry]

When I retired (at 54) I updated my LinkedIn to show as Private Portfolio Manager, which is what I'm doing - I manage my portfolio, hopefully I don't need to fire myself.

[Starsky]

I don't feel guilty, I just don't want to rub it in...

[Sunset]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walt34 I suspect every family has at least one like that. To them we are "cold, calculating, and heartless" as she wrote in a letter. Well, I'll admit we were cold when we were scraping ice & snow off the car windshields at 0600 hours while they were sleeping in, but they didn't seem to notice that part.

+1

So true, although mine also said: "All you think about is money" .

Had my relative spent just 5 minutes a day thinking about money, then they would actually have some instead of wanting handouts..

[Sunset]

Quote:

Originally Posted by youbet One of the "eye openers" that I'm picking up from this thread is the huge difference between retiring in your mid to late 50's or later and retiring before 50 (and looking it) in terms of other people's thoughts about it. DW and I fully FIRE'd at 55 (her) and 58 (me). There were really very few instances of people thinking we were young to be retired and asking questions. After all, you're talking about folks showing some grey and only single digits away from "regular" retirement age. .....

They probably just think "Poor folks are long term unemployed" ..

I know my neighbors thought I was unemployed, and I didn't feel the need to correct them.

Of course it's a bit weird when I ask them to watch my house (outside) as we are going on a trip for a month.
They probably think "Stupid Poor folks are going in debt taking trips with no work".

[Drake3287]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunset They probably just think "Poor folks are long term unemployed" .. I know my neighbors thought I was unemployed, and I didn't feel the need to correct them. Of course it's a bit weird when I ask them to watch my house (outside) as we are going on a trip for a month. They probably think "Stupid Poor folks are going in debt taking trips with no work".

Thats funny, we're almost the same way. We've been taking yearly trips to both Europe and the Caribbean/Hawaii and I never tell our neighbors because of how it "appears" and because most can't afford luxury trips. Luckily our 20 something daughter is still at home watching the house and cats.

Weeks later the neighbors will say something like we haven't seen you around for awhile what happened to you. You can tell them you were in Italy just so many times before they start to resent you.

I think this is probably a common problem when you've lived in a house for many years and have paid it off but the neighbors are all younger with huge mortgage payments.

[inky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by youbet One of the "eye openers" that I'm picking up from this thread is the huge difference between retiring in your mid to late 50's or later and retiring before 50 (and looking it) in terms of other people's thoughts about it. Even I become curious as to the circumstances when I discover someone who is FIRE'd at an earlier age, say mid to late 40's. I have the discipline to not say anything, but I readily admit I try to find out more if I can. I'm just curious about it.

This. And thank you for your discretion with younger retirees. I experience the same curiosity but also avoid asking direct questions since I know how it feels.

I retired at 43 two years ago, and many people tell me I look younger than my age. I suspect that being an unmarried woman also adds to the reactions of disbelief and curiosity. I'm guessing this is because there is not much of a tradition of self-made female investment gurus in our culture.

On the other hand, I feel that being female does relieve me of some of the expectations a man my age would face of having a well-paid prestigious full-time career. As another poster mentioned, in a dating situation this would have to be managed carefully to avoid giving the wrong impression. Since women still often prioritize personal fulfillment over financial reward in their job choices, I feel less likely to be judged a slacker when I tell people I quit my job to focus on personal creative projects.

[Teacher Terry]

My 2 sibs prepared well and had higher paying careers then mine so no family envy anywhere. They both retired earlier then usual.

[socca]

Quote:

Originally Posted by inky ... I feel less likely to be judged a slacker when I tell people I quit my job to focus on personal creative projects.

One of the many advantages of not being marriage-minded is that a woman's financial status is not of great concern, as long as it doesn't have the potential to negatively affect our relationship. I am, of course, curious how a particular person makes ends meet (if she does), but my interest is mostly academic. 😎

[pb4uski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by brett We live in a high end area. Just bought a few months ago. All the cars are very late model, expensive imports. Two per household. DW says we must be the trash. Both our ours are 10 years old. We have no intention of replacing them so this situation may deteriorate. They are all retired but certainly want to know what we did for a living. .....

Very interesting as I have commented many times to the new friends that we have made in retirement that one of the nice things is that (in our crowd anyway) nobody asks or gives a rat's tail what people did prior to retirement (other than perhaps just natural curiosity)... all that matters is that we are all retired and looking to have a good time together... whether in your prior life you were a CEO or a painter doesn't matter a bit.

[68bucks]

I'm very much looking forward to this question. I have about 9 months to come up with an answer. I'm leaning toward double naught spy.