ER and self respect

[LoneAspen]

That is sweet. But please tell me it's not going to take a year or two to get acclimated.

It'll take me one or two...minutes.

One minute to drop my badge off at HR, another to walk out the door, and I'll be acclimated.

That's my plan, and I'm sticking to it!

 

[gardenfun]

That is sweet. But please tell me it's not going to take a year or two to get acclimated.

Hi NanoSour--I think it makes a difference if you've been planning your ER or if you have it thrust upon you through a layoff or reorg, such as the case was for Telly and myself.
It takes a while to get over the shock of having your j*b taken away from you.
When it happened to me I immediately knew I never wanted to work for a corporation again. It was a very emotional year, full of uncertainty and a struggle to figure out a new identity.
During that time, I slowly began to figure out that I probably did have the resources to retire early.
So since you have been doing the planning and figuring all along, I think your transition should go much more smoothly!

 

[tryan]

My dad instilled in me that work was just a means to an end ("good days work, for a good days pay"). So self respect never equated to the job.

As a manager I always put my people before corporate. So when our funding was terminated (govm't terminated the contract ... not a corporate decision), I gave my group 7 months notice so they could find other jjjjobs. Much to the dismay of corporate - who needed them to log billable hours the contract. Made for an easy transition for my group. All found work ... self esteem intact.

 

[gozer]

Those comments tell me more about the speakers than the people who opted out.

I very strongly agree with this. Many people don't want to understand that everyone has different goals and desires. And this may lead them to make different choices than you would.

I could accept the promotion at work that I keep turning down and continue working to my full retirement age. More money and lots more stress. I would probably end up dying of a stroke in my late 50's/early 60's and would leave my wife a very wealthy widow. There are those at work that can't understand why I would possibly turn down this "once in a lifetime opportunity". When I tell them I don't need the money or the stress, it seems like I must be talking Swahili because the only response I get back is an incredulous stare. Most of the non executives more than get it. I think I've actually inspired a few people to get off their butts and start investing in their own financial security. Some of us are just wired differently.

Full disclosure: I used to be high stress, my job is why I matter guy. But now I'm in a 12 step program for that.

 

[gozer]

What sort of job requires you to crave your co-workers? Sounds really cool.

Ha

Porn? No, ... I know, fitness instructor.

 

[gozer]

I have been replaced, fired, downsized, gone-in-another-direction and a few other euphemisms to tell me I was gone from that w**kplace. I always knew that my departure was not a result of shoddy work by me. Just s**t happens.

Most of the time there was a ready market for my skills and experience. The last time that was not the case.

Simple math indicated that DW and I had plenty of assets to last us till at least age 100. So ER was the way to go.

These things have a way of working out.

So you're saying retirement drove up in a white van, jumped out and grabbed you. And then you developed Stockholm syndrome and decided to stay with your abductor.

 

[ikubak]

I think a lot of people associate income from working with their self esteem. I recently resigned from a good paying position to take a less stressful job at the same employer with a 50% pay cut. I got a lot of questions like, "So, how much of a pay cut are you taking?" I got that a lot. My standard response was, "I appreciate your concerns about my pay; but honestly, you guys seem a lot more worried about my finances than I am. Maybe you should worry about your own pay." I'll vest in less than two years and then RE at 52. My motto is, "I will vest and then I'll rest."

 

[scrabbler1]

I think a lot of people associate income from working with their self esteem. I recently resigned from a good paying position to take a less stressful job at the same employer with a 50% pay cut. I got a lot of questions like, "So, how much of a pay cut are you taking?" I got that a lot. My standard response was, "I appreciate your concerns about my pay; but honestly, you guys seem a lot more worried about my finances than I am. Maybe you should worry about your own pay." I'll vest in less than two years and then RE at 52. My motto is, "I will vest and then I'll rest."

I sorta did the same thing at my old job, twice voluntarily reducing my weekly hours worked because I simply could not stand coming to the office (lousy commute). These two pay cuts combined had me earning about 1/3 of what I had been earning (gross) full-time. I did receive a few inquiries like those you described but I actually took some joy in casualy dismissing their concerns with a "pfffft......my expenses are so low I don't need the extra money.....I'd prefer to not work as much!"

Of course, the ultimate reduction in weekly hours worked was when I went from 12 to zero in 2008 when I ERed.

 

[LoneAspen]

My motto is, "I will vest and then I'll rest."

Reminds me of a quote a former coworker of mine made when the startup he was at was bought by a MegaCorp...

"May I vest in peace"

I always liked that one

 

[frayne]

When people ask me what I do, I say I am a bum. I play golf, ride my motorcycle, play with my grandkids and do volunteer work. I really could care less what people think. Retired at 54 and going on 62, life is good.

 

[brewer12345]

When I get the inevitable questions after I bail next year I will try the polite cover story, but ultimately I will just say that I get along by the miracle of the loafs and the fishes: I loafs and I fishes and its a miracle I get by.

 

[Free To Canoe]

As much self respect as from work I gain from
- having been able to save enough dough to dare ER while having lived a full and satisfying life so far
- having learned to resist the traps of marketing experts
- having resisted all desires to keep up with the Joneses
- being able to distinguish a want from a need.

"I will vest and then I'll rest."

"May I vest in peace"

I lost a lot of self-respect. I felt like a trained seal arfing for prizes.

Many good stories and one liners in this thread. Glad I wasn't drinking a liquid when I read the last one.

 

[dtbach]

When people ask me what I do, I say I am a bum. I play golf, ride my motorcycle, play with my grandkids and do volunteer work. I really could care less what people think. Retired at 54 and going on 62, life is good.

I like to say, "I'm working overtime at nothing all day", as BTO so admirably sang back in the 70's! I update my LinkedIn account several times a month with outrageous comments about how much I DON'T miss corporate life! And yet I still get offers from recruiters. It's great fun to tell them "did you read my latest skill description?

 

[LoneAspen]

I update my LinkedIn account several times a month with outrageous comments about how much I DON'T miss corporate life! And yet I still get offers from recruiters. It's great fun to tell them "did you read my latest skill description?

LOL! It's funny you mention that, because I am planning on doing the exact same thing after I quit. I'm blessed enough to have worked at two companies that are definitely targets of recruiters surfing LinkedIn. I constantly get emails, invites, and phone calls from them.

I'm going to have some fun with LinkedIn info when I start Life 2.0.

 

[mf15]

I don't know what this might have to do with anything but,here goes.
I worked for a private company 31 years, which started in 1865,we were bought out by an investiment group,given a very nice package at 60 which I took. After we were bought out, our president from the former private comany was on the board,but I guess did not get along so he was driven out. Anyhow I wrote him an email thanking him for 30 some years of a stable work envionment,decent salary to bring up my kids,helath insurance,ESOP while we had it,401K,pension. It was a great private company that shared profit with the employees, Company has been bought out again by something even bigger. ESOP was fantastic,if they kept it up could have retired around 1995 or so.
Guess what.
I still work 4 days a month,independent contractor,enjoy the hell out of the 4 days,
keeps me sharp,and I do not have to deal with any corporate BS.
Old Mike

 

[Milton]

it seems like our whole society thinks that working in a job creates a sense of self-respect and self-esteem. I honestly never felt that way. Maybe I'd feel a sense of accomplishment, but it never increased my self-respect. Can someone enlighten me here?

Recommended reading: Michael Gates Gill, How Starbucks Saved My Life (2007).

If you take this logic, then if you are laid off or fired, your self respect would go down, wouldn't it?

For most people, there is a world of difference psychologically / emotionally between (i) leaving work on one's own terms and (ii) being involuntarily terminated. The latter situation is especially troubling if one is unable to find alternative employment (man is a social animal, and a sense of being useless and unwanted is difficult to deal with).

 

[LoneAspen]

For most people, there is a world of difference psychologically / emotionally between (i) leaving work on one's own terms and (ii) being involuntarily terminated. The latter situation is especially troubling if one is unable to find alternative employment (man is a social animal, and a sense of being useless and unwanted is difficult to deal with).

I've been involuntarily terminated twice in my career, both times when the startup I was working at was going under, but not quite dead yet, so they were in the process of getting rid of unwanted people to save money.

Both times I was a little concerned about finding a new job and resuming the income stream, but in no way did I feel useless, or emotionally compromised (thanks to Star Trek and Spock for that term).

I look at it this way...I've been fired twice and didn't flinch. I've fired (quit from) at least five employers, and they didn't flinch.

Life goes on, and is far too short to feel useless or unwanted over just a job.

 

[PatrickA5]

I too have the same self respect question, working after 31 years, and still working, I am trying to figure out how to answer the question "what do you do" after I retire. Almost all application or registration forms ask for employment status, employer, profession, income, etc. what to write for these fields post retirement? Would society treat them, soon me as I am thinking to retire, differently?

I hope this does not come across odd, just trying to understand the social and identity aspects of retirement.

After five years of semi ER, I still have problems with telling people "what I do". I was only 50 when I quit MegaCorp. After nearly 30 years of putting up with corporate politics, goal setting, game playing, etc., I had had enough. None of my co-workers could believe I would just quit. Ocassionaly, I'll run into an old co-worker and hear a comment like "are you still just staying home all day?" or "did you ever find a job?" Needless to say, I don't hang with any of my former co-workers anymore.

Then there's those encounters where you're meeting people for the first time. Going to my DW's Christmas party was always fun, since I would get asked several times "what do you do?" or "where do you work?". I feel like telling them "none of your business", but usually I find some way of explaining that I'm semi-retired and change the subject. Since I don't look 65 and old enough to really retire, I just get a feeling that people just think I'm a bum, or something.

It's hard on the ego and it really shouldn't be.

 

[dtbach]

I started hating the typical question you always get in your yearly evaluation "Where do you see yourself in 5 years with the company". Had to grit my teeth and say stupid stuff like "would like to manage a big project" or "become a director", etc.

What I really WANTED to say was "I'd like to be out of this god forsaken corporate culture and doing my own thing"

I got laid off, so never got the chance. Darn

 

[Meadbh]

I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

 

[travelover]

I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

Ditto. Claiming to have a trust fund can be amusing.

 

[redduck]

I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

Got my attention.

 

[cranberryjoe]

If someone asks what I do and I don't want to tell them I'm retired, I've been thinking of using my retirement hobbies as professions. "Photographer" would be pretty easy, until someone asks to hire me for their kid's graduation or wedding photos - I do NOT want to turn that hobby into a business. Maybe I'll say I'm a "video game tester".

 

[Katsmeow]

This is interesting to me and I also wonder if it is different for men and women. I have found that I don't often get asked what I do since I went to very part-time semi-retirement 3 years ago. I go to the office once or twice a week and I don't find that anyone thinks its strange that I'm around during the day. It may be that people assume that I am a traditional stay at home spouse which kind of irks me because I never have been. The longest I ever took off from work since I got out of school was maternity leave (1 month before birth due to medical reasons and the 6 weeks post-birth).

Now when I fully retire I don't have any problem telling someone I'm retired. However, I suspect I just won't get the question often.

 

[Milton]

The longest I ever took off from work since I got out of school was maternity leave (1 month before birth due to medical reasons and the 6 weeks post-birth).

Shouldn't that be six months?