ER and self respect

[brewer12345]

When I get the inevitable questions after I bail next year I will try the polite cover story, but ultimately I will just say that I get along by the miracle of the loafs and the fishes: I loafs and I fishes and its a miracle I get by.

[Free To Canoe]

Quote:

As much self respect as from work I gain from - having been able to save enough dough to dare ER while having lived a full and satisfying life so far - having learned to resist the traps of marketing experts - having resisted all desires to keep up with the Joneses - being able to distinguish a want from a need. "I will vest and then I'll rest." "May I vest in peace" I lost a lot of self-respect. I felt like a trained seal arfing for prizes.

Many good stories and one liners in this thread. Glad I wasn't drinking a liquid when I read the last one.

[dtbach]

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Originally Posted by frayne When people ask me what I do, I say I am a bum. I play golf, ride my motorcycle, play with my grandkids and do volunteer work. I really could care less what people think. Retired at 54 and going on 62, life is good.

I like to say, "I'm working overtime at nothing all day", as BTO so admirably sang back in the 70's! I update my LinkedIn account several times a month with outrageous comments about how much I DON'T miss corporate life! And yet I still get offers from recruiters. It's great fun to tell them "did you read my latest skill description?

[LoneAspen]

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Originally Posted by dtbach I update my LinkedIn account several times a month with outrageous comments about how much I DON'T miss corporate life! And yet I still get offers from recruiters. It's great fun to tell them "did you read my latest skill description?

LOL! It's funny you mention that, because I am planning on doing the exact same thing after I quit. I'm blessed enough to have worked at two companies that are definitely targets of recruiters surfing LinkedIn. I constantly get emails, invites, and phone calls from them.

I'm going to have some fun with LinkedIn info when I start Life 2.0.

[mf15]

I don't know what this might have to do with anything but,here goes.
I worked for a private company 31 years, which started in 1865,we were bought out by an investiment group,given a very nice package at 60 which I took. After we were bought out, our president from the former private comany was on the board,but I guess did not get along so he was driven out. Anyhow I wrote him an email thanking him for 30 some years of a stable work envionment,decent salary to bring up my kids,helath insurance,ESOP while we had it,401K,pension. It was a great private company that shared profit with the employees, Company has been bought out again by something even bigger. ESOP was fantastic,if they kept it up could have retired around 1995 or so.
Guess what.
I still work 4 days a month,independent contractor,enjoy the hell out of the 4 days,
keeps me sharp,and I do not have to deal with any corporate BS.
Old Mike

[Milton]

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Originally Posted by David1961 it seems like our whole society thinks that working in a job creates a sense of self-respect and self-esteem. I honestly never felt that way. Maybe I'd feel a sense of accomplishment, but it never increased my self-respect. Can someone enlighten me here?

Recommended reading: Michael Gates Gill, How Starbucks Saved My Life (2007).

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Originally Posted by David1961 If you take this logic, then if you are laid off or fired, your self respect would go down, wouldn't it?

For most people, there is a world of difference psychologically / emotionally between (i) leaving work on one's own terms and (ii) being involuntarily terminated. The latter situation is especially troubling if one is unable to find alternative employment (man is a social animal, and a sense of being useless and unwanted is difficult to deal with).

[LoneAspen]

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Originally Posted by Milton For most people, there is a world of difference psychologically / emotionally between (i) leaving work on one's own terms and (ii) being involuntarily terminated. The latter situation is especially troubling if one is unable to find alternative employment (man is a social animal, and a sense of being useless and unwanted is difficult to deal with).

I've been involuntarily terminated twice in my career, both times when the startup I was working at was going under, but not quite dead yet, so they were in the process of getting rid of unwanted people to save money.

Both times I was a little concerned about finding a new job and resuming the income stream, but in no way did I feel useless, or emotionally compromised (thanks to Star Trek and Spock for that term).

I look at it this way...I've been fired twice and didn't flinch. I've fired (quit from) at least five employers, and they didn't flinch.

Life goes on, and is far too short to feel useless or unwanted over just a job.

[PatrickA5]

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Originally Posted by Bali I too have the same self respect question, working after 31 years, and still working, I am trying to figure out how to answer the question "what do you do" after I retire. Almost all application or registration forms ask for employment status, employer, profession, income, etc. what to write for these fields post retirement? Would society treat them, soon me as I am thinking to retire, differently? I hope this does not come across odd, just trying to understand the social and identity aspects of retirement.

After five years of semi ER, I still have problems with telling people "what I do". I was only 50 when I quit MegaCorp. After nearly 30 years of putting up with corporate politics, goal setting, game playing, etc., I had had enough. None of my co-workers could believe I would just quit. Ocassionaly, I'll run into an old co-worker and hear a comment like "are you still just staying home all day?" or "did you ever find a job?" Needless to say, I don't hang with any of my former co-workers anymore.

Then there's those encounters where you're meeting people for the first time. Going to my DW's Christmas party was always fun, since I would get asked several times "what do you do?" or "where do you work?". I feel like telling them "none of your business", but usually I find some way of explaining that I'm semi-retired and change the subject. Since I don't look 65 and old enough to really retire, I just get a feeling that people just think I'm a bum, or something.

It's hard on the ego and it really shouldn't be.

[dtbach]

I started hating the typical question you always get in your yearly evaluation "Where do you see yourself in 5 years with the company". Had to grit my teeth and say stupid stuff like "would like to manage a big project" or "become a director", etc.

What I really WANTED to say was "I'd like to be out of this god forsaken corporate culture and doing my own thing"

I got laid off, so never got the chance. Darn

[Meadbh]

I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

[travelover]

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Originally Posted by Meadbh I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

Ditto. Claiming to have a trust fund can be amusing.

[redduck]

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Originally Posted by Meadbh I would say I'm independently wealthy, but I'm afraid that might attract hangers on.

Got my attention.

[cranberryjoe]

If someone asks what I do and I don't want to tell them I'm retired, I've been thinking of using my retirement hobbies as professions. "Photographer" would be pretty easy, until someone asks to hire me for their kid's graduation or wedding photos - I do NOT want to turn that hobby into a business. Maybe I'll say I'm a "video game tester".

[Katsmeow]

This is interesting to me and I also wonder if it is different for men and women. I have found that I don't often get asked what I do since I went to very part-time semi-retirement 3 years ago. I go to the office once or twice a week and I don't find that anyone thinks its strange that I'm around during the day. It may be that people assume that I am a traditional stay at home spouse which kind of irks me because I never have been. The longest I ever took off from work since I got out of school was maternity leave (1 month before birth due to medical reasons and the 6 weeks post-birth).

Now when I fully retire I don't have any problem telling someone I'm retired. However, I suspect I just won't get the question often.

[Milton]

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Originally Posted by Katsmeow The longest I ever took off from work since I got out of school was maternity leave (1 month before birth due to medical reasons and the 6 weeks post-birth).

Shouldn't that be six months?

[Amethyst]

Ideally, yes. If one wants to go unpaid for that long...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milton Shouldn't that be six months?

[seabourne]

I'll probably go with either "in wealth management" or "part-time professional sailor." Both strictly true, both enough to move things along, and can be said with a wink and a smile and no hard feelings.

[Milton]

Wow. I just Googled maternity leave policy in the US. Things certainly are different down there! In Canada lengthy paid leave is standard (personally I think our system is too generous and imposes too many burdens on small businesses, but it is what it is).

[Katsmeow]

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Originally Posted by Milton Shouldn't that be six months?

Why?

I was happy with 6 weeks and as mentioned if I had taken off longer it would have been without pay. I did after awhile arrange to work reduced hours which I did for a few years. Of course, in my field (law) reduced hours worked out to about 30-35 hours a week....

[Meadbh]

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Originally Posted by Katsmeow Why? I was happy with 6 weeks and as mentioned if I had taken off longer it would have been without pay. I did after awhile arrange to work reduced hours which I did for a few years. Of course, in my field (law) reduced hours worked out to about 30-35 hours a week....

So, how did breastfeeding go?