ER and self respect

[Amethyst]

Ideally, yes. If one wants to go unpaid for that long...

Shouldn't that be six months?

 

[seabourne]

I'll probably go with either "in wealth management" or "part-time professional sailor." Both strictly true, both enough to move things along, and can be said with a wink and a smile and no hard feelings.

 

[Milton]

Wow. I just Googled maternity leave policy in the US. Things certainly are different down there! In Canada lengthy paid leave is standard (personally I think our system is too generous and imposes too many burdens on small businesses, but it is what it is).

 

[Katsmeow]

Shouldn't that be six months?

Why?

I was happy with 6 weeks and as mentioned if I had taken off longer it would have been without pay. I did after awhile arrange to work reduced hours which I did for a few years. Of course, in my field (law) reduced hours worked out to about 30-35 hours a week....

 

[Meadbh]

Why?

I was happy with 6 weeks and as mentioned if I had taken off longer it would have been without pay. I did after awhile arrange to work reduced hours which I did for a few years. Of course, in my field (law) reduced hours worked out to about 30-35 hours a week....

So, how did breastfeeding go?

 

[Katsmeow]

So, how did breastfeeding go?

Well there were two parts to that.

When I went back to work I took a pump with me. One day one of the other shareholders in the firm was showing some politician type person around the office (why I don't know) and barged into my office. I had told my secretary not to let anyone in and my door had a sign where I could turn it to red for Do Not Disturb, which I had done. Just to be very careful, I had also wedged a chair under the door handle. Anyway, the shareholder ignored my secretary's attempt to stop him, ignored the DND sign, didn't knock, and threw open the door (despite the chair). When he and his companion saw what I was doing he beat a hasty retreat (and I hope this cured him of opening doors without knocking that had DND set).

One of the other shareholders got all upset because I would wash out the tubing for the pump paraphernalia in the kitchen. He thought I should do everything in the bathroom and couldn't understand why that didn't appeal to me.

That said -- after a little more than 3 months - despite my strong desire to breastfeed I had to stop on the advice of the pediatrician. My son had a lot of difficulty with breastfeeding and despite my efforts was starting to lose weight. I was even sent to a lactation consultant (this was before I went back to work) where I had to demonstrate for her my technique and she said I was doing everything right. The issue was with my son not with what I was doing.

Anyway - I was glad that I was able to exclusively breastfeed him for a little over 3 months but would have liked to have done more.

(Breastfeeding wasn't a factor with my other children as they were adopted as older children).

 

[Meadbh]

Thanks for sharing that, Kats. When I spent some time in the US during my training I was amazed at the short (6 weeks) maternity leave available. It was one more index of the work ethic in the US, the same work ethic that means that the average number of annual paid vacation days is 10, compared to over 20 in most other countries. I observed a pregnant physician colleague working till she ruptured her membranes, going straight to the labor floor, delivering the baby, choosing to bottlefeed because she knew that she "didn't have time" to breastfeed, and being back in the saddle working an 80 hour week six weeks later. I have always been a strong supporter of gender equality but I don't think this regime is conducive to getting infants started on the right path and it is certainly exhausting for mothers. There is now a huge body of literature definitively showing that the benefits of breastfeeding for 6 months make it the way to go, and such short maternity leaves are not conducive to success.

 

[Walt34]

What I really WANTED to say was "I'd like to be out of this god forsaken corporate culture and doing my own thing"

More than one person when asked on a evaluation form "What do you want to accomplish in the next year?" would write "Retire".

We could do that because of the law enforcement culture. Depending on the agency normal retirement is usually 20-25 years (for good reason - it's a young person's job) and it was expected that everyone would retire then or a few years after. The ones who go 35+ years are rarities.

 

[Milton]

Anyway, the shareholder ignored my secretary's attempt to stop him, ignored the DND sign, didn't knock, and threw open the door (despite the chair).

What a jerk. That's inexcusably disrespectful. I hope that you no longer have to work with him.

 

[Katsmeow]

Thanks for sharing that, Kats. When I spent some time in the US during my training I was amazed at the short (6 weeks) maternity leave available. It was one more index of the work ethic in the US, the same work ethic that means that the average number of annual paid vacation days is 10, compared to over 20 in most other countries. I observed a pregnant physician colleague working till she ruptured her membranes, going straight to the labor floor, delivering the baby, choosing to bottlefeed because she knew that she "didn't have time" to breastfeed, and being back in the saddle working an 80 hour week six weeks later. I have always been a strong supporter of gender equality but I don't think this regime is conducive to getting infants started on the right path and it is certainly exhausting for mothers. There is now a huge body of literature definitively showing that the benefits of breastfeeding for 6 months make it the way to go, and such short maternity leaves are not conducive to success.

I wanted to breast feed for at least 6 months, bought books and studied in advance, got the best pump, etc. I was crushed when I had to stop at about 3 1/2 months. In fairness, I must say that the reason was specific to my son and would have occurred even if I had still been on leave.

 

[Katsmeow]

What a jerk. That's inexcusably disrespectful. I hope that you no longer have to work with him.

I don't. He was a nice guy actually, just clueless in some situations.