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Old 10-21-2008, 11:12 AM   #21
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For me, it's purely a money thing. Being a lowly technician, there've never been many accolades forthcoming. So, my "identity" was undoubtedly affected by being a high-tech wafer monkey, and the pay wasn't bad, but I won't miss that aspect of my life. I think 25+ years of one thing is about enough...

As for who I am, I've reinvented myself, and been forcefully reinvented by circumstance, numerous times throughout life. I'm a "dabbler"; there are many things I've tried, and others to come. Thus will be my eventual retirement...
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Old 10-21-2008, 12:38 PM   #22
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I’m not sure where to begin, but here goes. I’m a professional woman with 26 years at a major corporation. I’ve enjoyed a modest success in my career; truthfully much more so than I ever expected. My husband and I are very financially secure and I don’t need to work, however I’m a poster child for the “golden handcuffs”…bored with the job but I make a very nice salary that I am loathe to give up. I’ve been thinking of early retirement for several months but somehow I can’t reconcile myself with the emotion of the thing.

Several of my friends have recently retired; mostly they are the “I can’t wait to get the hell outta here!!!” types who are enjoying themselves immensely. I envy them. For some reason, the decision to retire is one of the most difficult I have ever had to make. What the heck . I’m sick of my job, so why can’t I let go?

Khan’s “Who Am I” thread really resonates with me. Just exactly who WILL I be once retired? See, all our lives we look forward to things. Look forward to being 16..getting a driver’s license…going to college…being 21...to love, to marriage, to babies, to our first home…etc. I suppose I see retirement as the beginning of the end or something. A time when looking forward will become …looking back.

Does anyone understand this, or perhaps had a similar feeling? My husband is tired of hearing me obsess about this, lol. Why can’t I throw caution to the wind and set off on a new adventure? Gaaah.


p.s. I feel silly posting this, so I might have to wear a disguise in future posts. ahaha

I am going to take a different tract to your position. If you don't need the money stop saving it and start using some of it to pamper yourself and others who are close to you. See how your life changes for a year or so while you ponder whether to retire. Make your job and your wage work for you. Live within your means, but live well for a while, take vacations...take the status and expectations away from your work and you might just see your work differently.
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Old 10-21-2008, 02:42 PM   #23
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Sarah maybe the reason you cant let go is that you suffer from workaholism
http://www.geocities.com/workaholicnyc/wadefined.html
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:02 AM   #24
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Hi Sarah, I can relate to your situation, and have had trouble really embracing the notion that I 'could' retire at any time now, and find that I can't make that leap.

I do have a good suggestion - take some serious vacation time off, and see what happens. Longer is better, take as long as you can get away with. Then just "wear the RE hat" and see how it goes down.

You may find that upon your return, you will feel a little less loyal to the job.
You may just have habits and patterns that need shaken up a bit. Shake it up in safe mode first, then, sister, DIVE RIGHT IN!
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:08 AM   #25
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PS - my advice above is based on my own personal journey with RE. As of this past Friday, I am on a 6 week vacation, to see how it feels. (The fact that I have 6 weeks of accrued vacation is sadly indicative of my inability to break away from my work).

I am indeed a workaholic, but these last 4 days have been deLIGHTful as I have channeled my antsy-pants into the myriad projects around the house that I never finished...I hope this momentum is self-perpetuating. Could very well be the trigger I needed.
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:12 AM   #26
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I LOVED big pay checks!! As the checks got bigger, the harder it was to walk away. It's a disease! Hey, if Alcohol is, I sure big pay checks are.
My wife has a button that reads: "I thought I wanted a career. It turns out all I wanted was paychecks."
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:17 AM   #27
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My wife has a button that reads: "I thought I wanted a career. It turns out all I wanted was paychecks."
I love that! Where did she get it? I would love to get some of those to hand out to the young people I know!
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:09 PM   #28
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Hmmm, I see some of my fascinating and entertaining responses have mysteriously disappeared...ha. Anyhow, thanks again everyone.

My boss advised me today that I'm up for promotion in January....OH GREAT. :hair pulling: Just what a golden handcuff junkie needs to hear.

In spite of that, my plan is to ER by 2Q09...maybe.
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:13 PM   #29
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Hmmm, I see some of my fascinating and entertaining responses have mysteriously disappeared....
Along with several hundred others...

Missing posts from Oct. 21
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Old 10-22-2008, 09:22 PM   #30
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Ya, I was just being a smartass. Thanks.
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Old 10-22-2008, 10:05 PM   #31
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Ya, I was just being a smartass. Thanks.
Shocking---we Sarah's are never smart asses!
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Old 10-23-2008, 12:09 PM   #32
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I’m not sure where to begin, but here goes. I’m a professional woman with 26 years at a major corporation. I’ve enjoyed a modest success in my career; truthfully much more so than I ever expected. My husband and I are very financially secure and I don’t need to work, however I’m a poster child for the “golden handcuffs”…bored with the job
AHA! the key reason emerges...
but I make a very nice salary that I am loathe to give up. I’ve been thinking of early retirement for several months but somehow I can’t reconcile myself with the emotion of the thing.
normal
...mostly they are the “I can’t wait to get the hell outta here!!!” types who are enjoying themselves immensely. I envy them. that was me!
For some reason, the decision to retire is one of the most difficult I have ever had to make. What the heck . I’m sick of my job, so why can’t I let go?
a suggestion...grab a sheet of paper or open a text file, and make 2 columns..."Why I want to and can retire" for the PROS and "Why I feel I can't retire" for the CONS. do a few entries each day, and read it over a few weeks(months) later. it will be very illuminating.
Just exactly who WILL I be once retired?
a successful professional who is now enjoying the fruits...
Does anyone understand this, or perhaps had a similar feeling?
only for a few months, but i got over it.
good luck!
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Old 10-23-2008, 01:38 PM   #33
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There's thinking and then getting canned(er layed off Jan 93) - living in a fish camp over Lake Ponchartrain - she nixed moving to Wichita.

Life without work(one yr temp in the stretch) was fine until Katrina made us an offer we couldn't refuse, Aug 2005.

heh heh heh - otherwise I would have taken 'early retirement' in Aug 2006. So I can sort of understand the - do I or don't I stuff - and count myself lucky to be thrown out on the street.
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Old 10-31-2008, 09:39 PM   #34
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Sarah,

Let's put things into perspective. Do you have any burning desires in life...anything you are really passionate about? Does going to work get in the way of these pressing needs and desires? That's the core of what I think retirement is about. (I am not retired yet, but think about it every day...D**m Govt golden handcuffs, too). If you don't have these feelings then there's nothing wrong with hanging around at work. However...(and hope it does not happen)...What would you do if your doctor said you only have 1 year to live? Would your perspective about going into work change? Anything you would have to do before it happened? Life really is pretty short. Just something to think about...
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Old 11-01-2008, 07:49 AM   #35
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Oh, and thanks Goonie...This quote from you is simply the best explanation of retirement I have ever seen...

"So what's retirement like?" My answer to them is, "Remember when you were a little kid.....before the big people sent you to kindergarten? Remember those seemingly endless days of play? Those days when you got up and ate breakfast, then went out to play? Then you'd come in for lunch and a nap, and then go back out to play until supper time? Then after supper you'd go out to play until dark or until bedtime....whichever you could get away with? Then you'd start all over the next day? Well, that's what retirement is like!!!"

When I have a few days off...that's really what it's like for me! I am in constant awareness of the freedom.
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Old 11-01-2008, 11:13 PM   #36
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Hi, Dave. Nope, I can't say that I have any "burning desires"...seems like I sort of drift along. We have always been an active family, traveling and enjoying new things, so there's not much that I want to see or do that we haven't already.

I'm usually such a decisive person so this indecisiveness is making me nuts. After much soul-searching, I believe that I dread retirement for the reasons I tried to describe in my first post in this thread. I feel that retirement is sort of the "beginning of the end" and no matter how I try I can't readjust that feeling.
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Old 11-01-2008, 11:39 PM   #37
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Hi, Dave. Nope, I can't say that I have any "burning desires"...seems like I sort of drift along. We have always been an active family, traveling and enjoying new things, so there's not much that I want to see or do that we haven't already.

I'm usually such a decisive person so this indecisiveness is making me nuts. After much soul-searching, I believe that I dread retirement for the reasons I tried to describe in my first post in this thread. I feel that retirement is sort of the "beginning of the end" and no matter how I try I can't readjust that feeling.
Actually, birth is the beginning of the end. But that decay can go on for a very long time.

Ha
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Old 11-02-2008, 08:37 AM   #38
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Sarah...Everyone has their own path. And this being an ER forum, opinions may be canted against working. It sounds like you have found your comfort zone and like the routine and expectation. There's nothing wrong with that. I would say that after a soul search...only you know what you want.

I have a friend, (now retired a couple years from where I work), who can't get his wife to retire. Money is not the issue and they are quite well off financially. She loves what she does. And I guess it helps define her. This leaves my friend alone a good bit, and he would like to travel and do things. Especially with her. He is not very good at making new friends, (some old dogs get better at making new friends, but some get cranky and worse at it...ego I suppose). So things are in a delimma for him...
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Old 11-02-2008, 06:36 PM   #39
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Sarah,
I am very much like you except have much less money. I can retire anytime now but my wife, who is very supportive and already retired, is concerned that if I don't have something planned, like a part time job, that I will be miserable because of how much I have enjoyed my career as a high school administrator and someone who is not exactly one to enjoy just hanging around.
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Old 11-02-2008, 10:13 PM   #40
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Actually, birth is the beginning of the end. But that decay can go on for a very long time.

Ha
True. But somehow I have managed to ignore the inevitable until recently.

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Sarah...Everyone has their own path. And this being an ER forum, opinions may be canted against working. It sounds like you have found your comfort zone and like the routine and expectation. There's nothing wrong with that. I would say that after a soul search...only you know what you want.
Dave, this is true...I have found my comfort zone. Funny but I never planned to have a "career"; I was just going to work a couple of years when my sons started to school. Now it's 26 years later and ...yikes.

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Sarah,
I am very much like you except have much less money. I can retire anytime now but my wife, who is very supportive and already retired, is concerned that if I don't have something planned, like a part time job, that I will be miserable because of how much I have enjoyed my career as a high school administrator and someone who is not exactly one to enjoy just hanging around.
msully76--I guess I'll have to give you the same advice that some have given to me. If you're not ready to retire yet...don't! I'm afraid that I won't enjoy "just hanging around" either, so I totally get what you are saying.
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