ER Angst

[ziggy29]

I LOVED big pay checks!! As the checks got bigger, the harder it was to walk away. It's a disease! Hey, if Alcohol is, I sure big pay checks are.

My wife has a button that reads: "I thought I wanted a career. It turns out all I wanted was paychecks."

 

[Sarah in SC]

My wife has a button that reads: "I thought I wanted a career. It turns out all I wanted was paychecks."

I love that! Where did she get it? I would love to get some of those to hand out to the young people I know!

 

[SarahW]

Hmmm, I see some of my fascinating and entertaining responses have mysteriously disappeared...ha. Anyhow, thanks again everyone.

My boss advised me today that I'm up for promotion in January....OH GREAT. :hair pulling: Just what a golden handcuff junkie needs to hear.

In spite of that, my plan is to ER by 2Q09...maybe.

 

[REWahoo]

Hmmm, I see some of my fascinating and entertaining responses have mysteriously disappeared....

Along with several hundred others...

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f32/missing-posts-from-oct-21-a-39954.html#post736213

 

[SarahW]

Ya, I was just being a smartass. Thanks.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Ya, I was just being a smartass. Thanks.

Shocking---we Sarah's are never smart asses!

 

[freebird5825]

I’m not sure where to begin, but here goes. I’m a professional woman with 26 years at a major corporation. I’ve enjoyed a modest success in my career; truthfully much more so than I ever expected. My husband and I are very financially secure and I don’t need to work, however I’m a poster child for the “golden handcuffs”…bored with the job
AHA! the key reason emerges...
but I make a very nice salary that I am loathe to give up. I’ve been thinking of early retirement for several months but somehow I can’t reconcile myself with the emotion of the thing.
normal
...mostly they are the “I can’t wait to get the hell outta here!!!” types who are enjoying themselves immensely. I envy them. that was me!
For some reason, the decision to retire is one of the most difficult I have ever had to make. What the heck . I’m sick of my job, so why can’t I let go?
a suggestion...grab a sheet of paper or open a text file, and make 2 columns..."Why I want to and can retire" for the PROS and "Why I feel I can't retire" for the CONS. do a few entries each day, and read it over a few weeks(months) later. it will be very illuminating.
Just exactly who WILL I be once retired?
a successful professional who is now enjoying the fruits...
Does anyone understand this, or perhaps had a similar feeling?
only for a few months, but i got over it.

good luck!

 

[unclemick]

There's thinking and then getting canned(er layed off Jan 93) - living in a fish camp over Lake Ponchartrain - she nixed moving to Wichita.

Life without work(one yr temp in the stretch) was fine until Katrina made us an offer we couldn't refuse, Aug 2005.

heh heh heh - otherwise I would have taken 'early retirement' in Aug 2006. So I can sort of understand the - do I or don't I stuff - and count myself lucky to be thrown out on the street.

 

[Redbugdave]

Sarah,

Let's put things into perspective. Do you have any burning desires in life...anything you are really passionate about? Does going to work get in the way of these pressing needs and desires? That's the core of what I think retirement is about. (I am not retired yet, but think about it every day...D**m Govt golden handcuffs, too). If you don't have these feelings then there's nothing wrong with hanging around at work. However...(and hope it does not happen)...What would you do if your doctor said you only have 1 year to live? Would your perspective about going into work change? Anything you would have to do before it happened? Life really is pretty short. Just something to think about...

 

[Redbugdave]

Oh, and thanks Goonie...This quote from you is simply the best explanation of retirement I have ever seen...

"So what's retirement like?" My answer to them is, "Remember when you were a little kid.....before the big people sent you to kindergarten? Remember those seemingly endless days of play? Those days when you got up and ate breakfast, then went out to play? Then you'd come in for lunch and a nap, and then go back out to play until supper time? Then after supper you'd go out to play until dark or until bedtime....whichever you could get away with? Then you'd start all over the next day? Well, that's what retirement is like!!!"

When I have a few days off...that's really what it's like for me! I am in constant awareness of the freedom.

 

[SarahW]

Hi, Dave. Nope, I can't say that I have any "burning desires"...seems like I sort of drift along. We have always been an active family, traveling and enjoying new things, so there's not much that I want to see or do that we haven't already.

I'm usually such a decisive person so this indecisiveness is making me nuts. After much soul-searching, I believe that I dread retirement for the reasons I tried to describe in my first post in this thread. I feel that retirement is sort of the "beginning of the end" and no matter how I try I can't readjust that feeling.

 

[haha]

Hi, Dave. Nope, I can't say that I have any "burning desires"...seems like I sort of drift along. We have always been an active family, traveling and enjoying new things, so there's not much that I want to see or do that we haven't already.

I'm usually such a decisive person so this indecisiveness is making me nuts. After much soul-searching, I believe that I dread retirement for the reasons I tried to describe in my first post in this thread. I feel that retirement is sort of the "beginning of the end" and no matter how I try I can't readjust that feeling.

Actually, birth is the beginning of the end. But that decay can go on for a very long time.

Ha

 

[Redbugdave]

Sarah...Everyone has their own path. And this being an ER forum, opinions may be canted against working. It sounds like you have found your comfort zone and like the routine and expectation. There's nothing wrong with that. I would say that after a soul search...only you know what you want.

I have a friend, (now retired a couple years from where I work), who can't get his wife to retire. Money is not the issue and they are quite well off financially. She loves what she does. And I guess it helps define her. This leaves my friend alone a good bit, and he would like to travel and do things. Especially with her. He is not very good at making new friends, (some old dogs get better at making new friends, but some get cranky and worse at it...ego I suppose). So things are in a delimma for him...

 

[msully76]

Sarah,
I am very much like you except have much less money. I can retire anytime now but my wife, who is very supportive and already retired, is concerned that if I don't have something planned, like a part time job, that I will be miserable because of how much I have enjoyed my career as a high school administrator and someone who is not exactly one to enjoy just hanging around.

 

[SarahW]

Actually, birth is the beginning of the end. But that decay can go on for a very long time.

Ha

True. But somehow I have managed to ignore the inevitable until recently.

Sarah...Everyone has their own path. And this being an ER forum, opinions may be canted against working. It sounds like you have found your comfort zone and like the routine and expectation. There's nothing wrong with that. I would say that after a soul search...only you know what you want.

Dave, this is true...I have found my comfort zone. Funny but I never planned to have a "career"; I was just going to work a couple of years when my sons started to school. Now it's 26 years later and ...yikes.

Sarah,
I am very much like you except have much less money. I can retire anytime now but my wife, who is very supportive and already retired, is concerned that if I don't have something planned, like a part time job, that I will be miserable because of how much I have enjoyed my career as a high school administrator and someone who is not exactly one to enjoy just hanging around.

msully76--I guess I'll have to give you the same advice that some have given to me. If you're not ready to retire yet...don't! I'm afraid that I won't enjoy "just hanging around" either, so I totally get what you are saying.

 

[Moemg]

, I believe that I dread retirement for the reasons I tried to describe in my first post in this thread. I feel that retirement is sort of the "beginning of the end" and no matter how I try I can't readjust that feeling.

That 's an interesting feeling . I have felt younger since I retired and am not weighed down with the stress of my job. A good friend of mine will not retire because so much of her identity is tied up in her work . It's sad because the stress is physically coming out in various ailments.

 

[freebird5825]

i'm right with ya, moemg.
approx 5 months after i FIREd, i saw my doctor while visiting a friend's dad in the local hospital. he was covering rounds for his doctor wife.
the man stopped right in his tracks, looked at me, and said "is that really you, Freebird?". he may have been busting my chops, but he said he hadn't ever seen me look this good since he knew me (over 15 years). he also said it was the BEST DECISION i had ever made, albeit he would have talked me out of it if i had told him my plans to FIRE. heeeheeeheee - i got away with that one.
a female friend asked me if i'd had a facelift. she wasn't kidding. "you look 10 years younger" were her exact words.
lesson to take away - the stress, as meomg sez, will wear you down over time.

 

[SarahW]

Sounds like you ladies made the right choices for yourselves; that's great. I guess I'm going to stick to the job for another 6 months or so and see how things start to shake out after the new president takes office.

 

[Nords]

Sounds like you ladies made the right choices for yourselves; that's great. I guess I'm going to stick to the job for another 6 months or so and see how things start to shake out after the new president takes office.

Hey, you either love work and relish the prospect of breaking [-]down[/-] in a new president, or else you're trying to decide which seems more "eek" scary-- work vs ER.

Why not try both options? Try a sabbatical or some sort of unpaid leave for 6-12 weeks. Relax, see what sort of lifestyle develops, and decide how you feel about it. Don't try to travel to 30 states or write the Great American Novel or completely renovate the house. Just take it easy, get caught up on your sleep, start exercising the way you want to (instead of the way you've had to), talk things over with your spouse & friends, and figure out what you want to do with your time.

"What would I DO all day?!?" is probably every Young Dreamer's biggest concern, right after dealing with healthcare expenses and inflation. But 6-12 months after they've retired, most ERs wonder what the heck they were worrying about.

Many of the ERs who were able to "try before buy" quickly realized that they weren't goin' back to the office with a smile on their faces...
.

 

[freebird5825]

Sounds like you ladies made the right choices for yourselves; that's great. I guess I'm going to stick to the job for another 6 months or so and see how things start to shake out after the new president takes office.

YES - you hit the target..."the right choices for yourselves"
how is your PRO (quit) and CON (don't quit) list coming along?
or you may have a PRO (don't quit) and CON (quit) list going?
either way, this is YOUR bus to steer.

 

[Khan]

YES - you hit the target..."the right choices for yourselves"
how is your PRO (quit) and CON (don't quit) list coming along?
or you may have a PRO (don't quit) and CON (quit) list going?
either way, this is YOUR bus to steer.

Always the final decision must be one's own.

 

[Moemg]

a female friend asked me if i'd had a facelift. she wasn't kidding. "you look 10 years younger" were her exact words.
lesson to take away - the stress, as meomg sez, will wear you down over time.

My SO's ex wife asked me if I had a mini facelift or if I was using some miracle cream she could buy .

 

[freebird5825]

My SO's ex wife asked me if I had a mini facelift or if I was using some miracle cream she could buy .

can we bottle it? we'll call it "Eau de FIRE" lotion.
you can operate the FL store, and i'll get it into Manhattan stores. we'll make a killing!

 

[Moemg]

can we bottle it? we'll call it "Eau de FIRE" lotion.
you can operate the FL store, and i'll get it into Manhattan stores. we'll make a killing!

Sounds like a plan !

 

[Redbugdave]

That and a dab of perfume "Turkey Roasting in the Oven", behind the ears and you gals will have us guys totally disarmed!