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t 1010Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 03-31-2005, 03:39 AM   #21
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t 1010Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

I'm glad I made it under the wire - at 10, I was picking strawberries for 12 hour days - $3 to $5/day - big bucks for my age. Of course later Oregon passed age limits.

One more thing - in most of my manufacturing career - happy people where thought to be insane, dangerous, or totally clueless. Happiness was best kept to one's self.

You were 'supposed to bitch and moan and complain.' A 'good manager' was the one with the most talent for screaming, yelling, and pounding the table. But I guess styles change over the years.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 03-31-2005, 09:34 AM   #22
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

unclemick said in part: " One more thing - in most of my manufacturing career - happy people where thought to be insane, dangerous, or totally clueless. Happiness was best kept to one's self.

You were 'supposed to bitch and moan and complain.' A 'good manager' was the one with the most talent for screaming, yelling, and pounding the table. But I guess styles change over the years."

Sounds so familiar. I call that the "culture of complaint" it reminds me of Navy days. A lot of kids would not know what to do with themselves in high school so they would enlist, it solved their identity crisis. Then they suddenly discovered what they wanted to do--they wanted to GET OUT! Every day was a B*(&*h session.

But sometime in my 30s I just "got happy" in sort of a religious/psychological internal way. I am one of the happiest people I know. My teenage son rolls his eyes and says "Dad is having another happy atack". I think this is a major part of why my wife married me. So I have come to understand that happiness is an inside job. Do you want to be happy in retirement? Well, are you happy now? Now whether you will have enough money for retirement is a different question, and a good one. Just don't confuse happiness and financial resources.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 03-31-2005, 11:30 AM   #23
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Remember the old saw: 'Smile - it scares the hell out of them'.

Sometimes in ER, I just break out laughing. You 'gots' to keep a grip where this happens - you will draw some strange looks.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-08-2005, 04:58 AM   #24
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Quote:
Ive run the numbers and if I were to downsize the house and cut back on a few frills I still would need $1800 a month after tax to get by. I would prefer $3000 a month so at least the wife is going to have to put a few more years in.

If I use the 4% rule I figure I need somewhere between 550K to 1 mil invested to get that income range. And I would also have to be debt free.

Im not counting anything from Social Security so I could probably adjust these numbers some and Im figuring in health insurance.

I don't plan on working much longer. I'd be out now but Ive got two kids in college that's eating into the budget so I'll probably work a few more month's. The wife would be eligible for a reduced pension in 5 yrs or full in 8. She is 44 so she could retire at 49 or 52 depending on how she feels. She would get either 25% or 75% of her salary depending on when she went so the 3 extra years would be helpful but probably not needed.

If it were up to me Id sell the house and downsize and be out tommorow. The wife currently likes her job so I figure it's up to her if she wants to stay here and continue to work. A friend of mine just sold a one bedroom clubhouse on the river for 25K. I could have lived there in a heartbeat, not the wife though. My current house is worth probably 250k and its paid for so there is some flexibility. We could move into a nice enough home for around 150k and still keep the wife happy so we still have options.

We have around 400k invested now if we count her cash value of her pension, and the house is paid for. I am sure we could make it now but the wife wants a little higher standard of living than I require.

It is nice to know that its possible though.

dm,

Sure its possible. Wife and kids standing in the way of ER? No problem. Put the little darlings on notice that next semester is on them. So they better get started on that student loan paperwork AND a good summer job. Oh, by the way mom and I are looking at a smaller house.

Can you hear them now? "Whats the matter with dad?"

No girlie man...Tough Love

Brutally Yours,

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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-08-2005, 06:18 AM   #25
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

I am for the "tough love" thing. Doesn't work well
after you have indulged your kids for years and then
one day.....Ummmmm, Dad's retired now so the gravy train
has to end. My grown kids were okay with it, but
my youngest (maybe the most coddled) has yet to come to grips
with it. I recall when she showed up at her high school
in a shiny red sports car. One of her friends said
"And I thought I was spoiled!" Yep, I gave her
whatever she wanted. Now that I can't (won't)
she takes umbrage. Oh how much sharper than a
serpent's tooth is an ungrateful child!

JG
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-08-2005, 05:39 PM   #26
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Today was an inkling of what will come in the near future. My husband and I were both home from work today. Can you believe this was my first time calling in sick after being at this firm for 15 years. Just a wave of peace came over me thinking my husband and I both will be retired in a few short months. After reading everyone's notes the past few weeks, I have stopped trying to fit the circle in the square peg. Came to the realization -- we do have enough money to retire. The house is paid for too, husband will have a COLA pension, medical benefits which we partially have to pay for - what was I worrying about for months and months. So glad to have found this board. Thank you all!!
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-11-2005, 04:46 AM   #27
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

The school loan idea sounds good but the catch is that they go by last years income. With our income the kids don't qualify for much. There is no way they could make enough in the summer to pay for their college on their own.

I should have quit their senior year of high school. They may have qualified for something then. Oh well, only a year or two left. It's running me around 30k to 40K a year so its not the end of the world. Just have to budget it in. Hopefully they will be on their own soon. As long as they are doing OK in school and working when they can I really don't mind.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-11-2005, 05:12 AM   #28
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

My 2 oldest kids both have their degrees. This was an
area where I used a little "tough love". The most we paid was 50% of the total cost (net of aid/scholarships).
Don't recall why we settled on that, maybe because I paid 100% of my own college costs.

A former boss had kids a few years older. Before my first got out of high school we were talking about "aid".
He said, "I know what you make. Don't waste your time
applying." I applied anyway. He was right.

JG
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-11-2005, 06:02 AM   #29
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

The title of this thread reminds me of when a friend of mine, her young daughter, and I went to a classical ballet performance. The men, as they do, were dancing around in their leotards. My friend's daughter called the leotards "manly pants."
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-14-2005, 08:51 AM   #30
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Quote:
Today was an inkling of what will come in the near future. My husband and I were both home from work today. Can you believe this was my first time calling in sick after being at this firm for 15 years. Just a wave of peace came over me thinking my husband and I both will be retired in a few short months. After reading everyone's notes the past few weeks, I have stopped trying to fit the circle in the square peg. Came to the realization -- we do have enough money to retire. The house is paid for too, husband will have a COLA pension, medical benefits which we partially have to pay for - what was I worrying about for months and months. So glad to have found this board. Thank you all!!

Welcome Ginger --
Sounds like you got a little taste of life in ER -- good luck making the leap soon. It is sort of like graduation from high school -- or spring fever -- the realization that you just don't have to do that stuff any more and you can move on to a whole new conception of what life is. Welcome to the board.

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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-14-2005, 10:08 AM   #31
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Thanks for the welcome! I am trying to convince my husband to start moving a percentage of our stock market investments over to more conservative savings. We do keep a year's worth of income in money market accounts and also have a cd. If the market takes a huge dip, we will just live off the COLA pension, plus we will have a deferred comp investment to dip into.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-16-2005, 02:32 AM   #32
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Welcome Ginger. It sounds like with a little portfolio adjustment you'll do fine. Is your hubby the professor type or the Gilligan type....nevermind couldnt resist. Welcome a-board!

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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-17-2005, 11:13 PM   #33
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Quote:
Welcome Ginger. It sounds like with a little portfolio adjustment you'll do fine. Is your hubby the professor type or the Gilligan type....nevermind couldnt resist. Welcome a-board!

BUM
It would be better if he were the Mr. Howle type. Then the choice of investments would be irrelevant.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 06:41 AM   #34
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Hello Ginger. I liked your "if the market takes a huge dip" comment. I have back up plans to my back up plans if everything goes to hell. Can you say "double redundancy?". Anyway, I always look at the worst case
I can conjure up and then at least have an idea on
how to deal with it. Life can throw a lot of curve balls.

JG
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 07:06 AM   #35
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Whats your backup plan John? Marry another woman with a job?
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 08:19 AM   #36
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Step daughter in spare room, widowed Mom - against a 'fixed base' - same house, utilities, and lower transportation costs.

No plan - just happened. Good news - spending 60% or less of cash income.

Bad news: It's a three to one chorus: All together now - "You cheap #!%* bastard, you can't take it with you!"
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 12:36 PM   #37
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

I am at work posting-- so you can see where my head is focused these days. We have a lady here who is almost 68 and still working. She said she has no one to travel with or no interest to just sit home. Very sad to me that "work" would be her only interest. The last six months I have felt that work is an intrusion to all the things I really want to do. John G. is so right. Time is precious and somehow it will all work out. Both my husband and I are on the same path and, luckily, we are both savers.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 01:01 PM   #38
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

I can't remember who is supporting the last college years...but in some states you can be 'emancipated'
and therefore independent. In that case your kids would be more likely to qualify for loans. IF YOU WANTED TO...you could give them cash each year
on which they pay no taxes and I think you get a tax credit of some sort.

It is a slow day at work and I have been reading more and more on this site/forum...I wanna retire!

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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 01:03 PM   #39
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

We began planning to just do it 7 years ago. It was an emotional decision based on dissatisfaction with the concept of working the rest of our lives.

We never "saved" significant dollars (<100k by ER) or LBYM in any really overt way. We just found ourselves in jobs with "forced withholdings" and rode them out for 20 plus years each. And as we get close we're finally working to eliminate debt and get our house in order (literally), so we can cruise on down the road at a speed of about 30k + 30k = 60k/yr (health plan paid, Cola's yearly)

This will work.
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)
Old 04-18-2005, 01:35 PM   #40
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Re: ER girlie men? (No booty just brains)

Quote:
We have a lady here who is almost 68 and still working. * She said she has no one to travel with or no interest to just sit home.*
I have woman friend who is 55. She has qualified for a good pension that she could draw now. She also has substantial savings and a $1million inheritance. She has never been married and has no kids. Her job is medium hard but interesting.

She plans to work until they make her leave. Her reason is the same as your co-worker's. She has no steady BF, and her girl-friends don't have the money that would allow them to travel extensively with her.

It isn't that she has no interests other than work. She goes dancing 3 or 4 nights a week, ski's, takes lots of mini-vacations. It's just that she can do all this whiile working, and still go out to lunch with her co-workers, get the positive parts of work interaction, etc.

If you aren't a natural loner and have no reliable lover, husband, wife, etc, you can get pretty lonely.

Sometimes even a so-so job can look pretty good.

Mikey

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