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Escapist thread - If you lost half your assets what would you do?
Old 04-20-2016, 10:45 AM   #1
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Escapist thread - If you lost half your assets what would you do?

I'm not sure where to put this. This is motivated by DH being a butthead over the last 6 months or so. My 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up next month, so for my first 37 years I was single. We have no children. No, there are no plans for divorce right now, but I did threaten, not an idle threat, that I would walk if this continued.

So, if your assets were cut in half, what would you do? In our case this would be a portfolio of 2.5M and a house in the 650-700K? range. Dividing those assets would really change the retirement plan for me. This is meant as a light hearted thread. Would you join the Peace Corp? Go back to work? Take in a roommate? Move abroad? Move to a small town somewhere?
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Old 04-20-2016, 10:49 AM   #2
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I would find a wealthy widow or single woman and remarry before I went back to work.... then again... perhaps work isn't all that bad.

My aunt used to tell me that it is just as easy to love a rich girl as a poor girl... I screwed that up the first time so a re-do would be a chance to test that hypothesis.
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Old 04-20-2016, 10:49 AM   #3
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Why not keep your assets and marriage and go ahead and change the situation by doing one of those things you would do (that both of you like).

Perhaps part of the problem is boredom or other factor that can be fixed by a change in location or hobby.
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Old 04-20-2016, 10:51 AM   #4
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This is meant as a light hearted thread. Would you join the Peace Corp?
Congrats on a new definition of light-hearted.

Not sure what I would do if I were you, but I think I know what I would do if I were DH. Some men are not amused by threats, so one may be your last.

Ha
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Old 04-20-2016, 10:52 AM   #5
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I think I could live OK on a 50-50 split of what you have with just a little SS income added. Smaller house or town house.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:00 AM   #6
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This is motivated by DH being a butthead over the last 6 months or so.
What's his side of the story?
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:04 AM   #7
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I would find a wealthy widow or single woman and remarry before I went back to work.... then again... perhaps work isn't all that bad.

My aunt used to tell me that it is just as easy to love a rich girl as a poor girl... I screwed that up the first time so a re-do would be a chance to test that hypothesis.
Haha! Where does one find wealthy widows? Maybe an ER dating forum!
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:04 AM   #8
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What's his side of the story?
He has another thread on here "DW is being a butthead"
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:04 AM   #9
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50% of those assets is way mo' than plenty enough for me
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:04 AM   #10
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.....So, if your assets were cut in half, what would you do?....
Funny you should ask. Our financial plan hedges against a market drop of 40-50%, essentially saying we lose 1/2 our assets. Our plan is to do nothing different but watch the budget closer and cut if needed.

More to your specific situation, if I got divorced, I'd take off with my more limited funds, my dog and a small camper and enjoy a more simple life of camping around the U.S. That would keep me busy for a couple years at least. No idea where I'd end up after that.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:08 AM   #11
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More to your specific situation, if I got divorced, I'd take off with my more limited funds, my dog and a small camper and enjoy a more simple life of camping around the U.S. That would keep me busy for a couple years at least. No idea where I'd end up after that.
This is my point. This sounds like something you actually want to do now. Why not do it together while married instead of dreaming about it if you ever get divorced?

I may be a little biased because we are taking off in a camper (no dog) and are going adventuring around the USA. We left a $270,000 a year job and (hopefully) sold our house on the river. Life is short, might as well do what you dream instead of dream what you would do.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:09 AM   #12
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First of all, I would not have gotten married in the first place, knowing that could happen. I have a DGF of 26 years.

Secondly, half marriages end in divorce, the other half end in death. Half of the assets is a small price to pay for your life.

You can live separate lives and still be married. If you get a divorce, and re-marry, you will need to learn to live on 1/4, not 1/2...
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:20 AM   #13
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So, if your assets were cut in half, what would you do?
No major change...maybe go to a cheaper vodka and buy wine at discount.

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Old 04-20-2016, 11:32 AM   #14
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Why not keep your assets and marriage and go ahead and change the situation by doing one of those things you would do (that both of you like).

Perhaps part of the problem is boredom or other factor that can be fixed by a change in location or hobby.
Excellent point. I think ER has been challenging for both of us.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:36 AM   #15
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Congrats on a new definition of light-hearted.

Not sure what I would do if I were you, but I think I know what I would do if I were DH. Some men are not amused by threats, so one may be your last.

Ha
Point taken. But I was quite serious and ready to act on it.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:43 AM   #16
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What's his side of the story?
He does acknowledge the behavior and does not want to get a divorce. Not sure what is driving it, perhaps some antidepressants would help.

I think ER is not so easy for everyone. I have certainly had my challenges adjusting. DH was retired for 6 months before deciding to take a contracting job that came his way. I'm not sure if this has been good or bad, he was the one who was really pushing for ER, but now he feels comforted by the extra cash flow. He can quit anytime, but maybe it's better for him to keep it for now.
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Old 04-20-2016, 11:49 AM   #17
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Funny you should ask. Our financial plan hedges against a market drop of 40-50%, essentially saying we lose 1/2 our assets. Our plan is to do nothing different but watch the budget closer and cut if needed.

More to your specific situation, if I got divorced, I'd take off with my more limited funds, my dog and a small camper and enjoy a more simple life of camping around the U.S. That would keep me busy for a couple years at least. No idea where I'd end up after that.
Thanks for your reply. I think it's fun to have a life backup plan in case everything goes to hell. I like the idea of a dog and a camper.
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Old 04-20-2016, 12:16 PM   #18
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First of all, I would not have gotten married in the first place, knowing that could happen. I have a DGF of 26 years.

Secondly, half marriages end in divorce, the other half end in death. Half of the assets is a small price to pay for your life.

You can live separate lives and still be married. If you get a divorce, and re-marry, you will need to learn to live on 1/4, not 1/2...
+1
Couldn't have said it better. Divorce is the last position I would want to be in later in life. "Relationships", fights, break-ups, "compromises" and all that mess were something I dealt with when I was younger. Happily involved now, I would OTOH be just as happy and independent alone.
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Old 04-20-2016, 12:22 PM   #19
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This is my point. This sounds like something you actually want to do now. Why not do it together while married instead of dreaming about it if you ever get divorced?.....Life is short, might as well do what you dream instead of dream what you would do.
Congrats on your upcoming adventuring, wish you guys the best!
Fully agree with your philosophy. Turns our for me, my primary dream is spending time with my wife. How we do that is secondary to me.

My wife and I share love of dogs and camping but her camping interests are limited to shorter trips (2-3 weeks) so we compromise and camp in a more limited fashion. Works well for us.

But I like having a backup plan for when the world goes sour on you. The camping/dog thing is my plan and very workable for me. A plan helps one stay a little sane if the world turns insane on you!

I hope Pullmyfinger (OP) can think of a plan she is just as happy with. Sometimes that makes working through difficulties a little easier.
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Old 04-20-2016, 12:40 PM   #20
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I'm not sure where to put this. This is motivated by DH being a butthead over the last 6 months or so. My 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up next month, so for my first 37 years I was single. We have no children. No, there are no plans for divorce right now, but I did threaten, not an idle threat, that I would walk if this continued.

So, if your assets were cut in half, what would you do? In our case this would be a portfolio of 2.5M and a house in the 650-700K? range. Dividing those assets would really change the retirement plan for me. This is meant as a light hearted thread. Would you join the Peace Corp? Go back to work? Take in a roommate? Move abroad? Move to a small town somewhere?
Half your assets is about equal to all my assets. So, if my assets were as much as yours and then cut in half, I'd take my money and run.

But, if I lost half of my present assets I'd still be OK. I have thought about this, actually. I have SS and a tiny pension, which help. I'd NEVER go back to work. I'd cut back on spending, instead. I have enough "fluff" in my spending that it wouldn't be that hard.

Divorce is hard on both spouses both emotionally and financially. IME both spouses feel like they got the raw end of the deal, financially speaking. Nobody wins. I never want to marry again. Luckily, I found a wonderful guy who doesn't mind.
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