Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 02:30 PM   #41
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: In the fog of San Francisco
Posts: 241
Re: fear of isolation

Any one of changing work, residence, or partner can be very stressful. Doing more than one at the same time just adds to the stress.

cheers,
Michael
__________________

__________________
Michael Moore is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 04:16 PM   #42
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
youbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 9,965
Re: fear of isolation

This is an interesting thread for sure.* My ER is scheduled to begin in a few weeks.* Originally, I felt I wanted to sell this place asap and head out to the lakes and pine trees "upnort."* DW convinced me we needed to stay here in the city near her, my and our families, at least for a while.* While I was originally disappointed, it's starting to make sense.* Getting away via an RV, second home or long term renting (as discussed on other threads) is making more and more sense....

Thanks for the interesting discussion....

youbet
__________________

__________________
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
youbet is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 04:49 PM   #43
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 239
Re: fear of isolation

I don't know why retiring needs to bring isolation. If one's primary source of social interaction is work-related, I'd say that person is in a pretty sorry state of affairs.

Also, I don't see why retirement needs to mean moving away from your (already established) network of family and friends. Nonetheless, it does seem to be common for people to retire and move away to distant states. But, it is a self caused isolation that I have no sympathy for.
__________________
All the best....Mike
I'd rather live in a rustic cabin and be free than in a McMansion as a slave!
Mountain_Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 08:17 PM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Re: fear of isolation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountain_Mike
Nonetheless, it does seem to be common for people to retire and move away to distant states.* But, it is a self caused isolation that I have no sympathy for.
A little tough love, eh Mike?
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 08:30 PM   #45
Full time employment: Posting here.
shiny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 673
Re: fear of isolation

Mikey, I know that we often want to vent and not have others trying to "solve" our "problems" but maybe you should move to the city and now that Mrs Ha Ha has her full time job and city doings to keep her from being bored she would like to spend more time with you (seeing as she allows conjugal visits and all)? You would be less isolated and away from those dangerous curvy roads and tree branches. Just my unsolicited 2 cents.

Maybe you like the tough love better?
__________________
I'm made of atoms, you're made of atoms, and we're all in this together. Ben Lee
shiny is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-25-2006, 09:04 PM   #46
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Re: fear of isolation

This is a valuable discussion. A while back I asked whether combining FIRE with some drastic lifestyle change was a good idea. That discussion might be useful for some of the posters here.

Isolation, loneliness, and even depression prey on the elderly. Gotta watch it if our lifestyle isolates us too much, especially in the middle and late retirement years. Yes, you can always pick up and move back to the city from that country hideaway, but I'm not sure that yet another drastic move at that stage is so easy.

Each to his/her own. It's just something to keep in mind. Trips to the scenic places when the urge hits us will probably be our approach, keeping the homestead in an area where we have friends and are intimate with the neighborhood.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-26-2006, 12:25 AM   #47
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Re: fear of isolation

Quote:
Originally Posted by shiny
Mikey,* I know that we often want to vent and not have others trying to "solve" our "problems" but maybe you should move to the city and* now that Mrs Ha Ha has her full time job and city doings to keep her from being bored she would like to spend more time with you (seeing as she allows conjugal visits and all)?* You would be less isolated and away from those dangerous curvy roads and tree branches.* Just my unsolicited 2 cents.*

Maybe you like the tough love better?
Shiney, Claire, Jarhead, et al, I truly appreciate and value your thoughtful and loving input. In addition to my wife, who really does like me in limited doses (and I her, though I think my limits are less stringent* ), I have 2 adult sons, 2 DILs, and lots of friends from dancing over the years-- all in Seattle or Bellevue. I have friends up here too, but more intimacy and love down there. Until very recently, I spent a couple of nights a week dancing in Seattle, plus one or two nights with my wife. It worked pretty well for me- but I don't know if it is still from the wreck last fall, or just age- but I don't really want to drive home late at night anymore.

So I may move back Ė I donít think it would be a disruptive change in the way that Rich is mentioning, because I am already well acquainted and completely familiar down there. For now, I am going to do what I can here. I have an old dog who isn't long for this world, and I don't want to abandon him, nor put him through a big change.

As to depression, I am not depressed. I just have the habit of describing pretty fully what is going on in my life and emotions. In other words, no one would ever say I have a stiff upper lip.*

Mikey
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-26-2006, 12:14 PM   #48
Full time employment: Posting here.
shiny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 673
Re: fear of isolation

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
For now, I am going to do what I can here. I have an old dog who isn't long for this world, and I don't want to abandon him, nor put him through a big change.
Your a good man Mikey ol' pal.

Really, I know that you have sons and dance partners (and more people than that probably) who care. I just thought a change of scenery would do you good. (even though I am seeing the same water as you here in Seattle, its just harder to get to!)

ok, pity-party officially over.
__________________
I'm made of atoms, you're made of atoms, and we're all in this together. Ben Lee
shiny is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 04-28-2006, 08:17 PM   #49
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
BunsGettingFirm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,502
Re: fear of isolation

I understand that this is a genuine concern for those who retired and then moved far away from family, but think back to your working days, just how deep and satisfying were most of the social interactions at work? When there's money involved, it's hard to let your guard down.
__________________
Got retiree health care through your company? What if the company goes bankrupt? Retire and go RVing full time? RVs are not structurally sound. You'll die in a fiery crash. Retire and live overseas? What if you die? Aren't you worried about your body? No, I don't think I will be able to seeing how I am dead.
BunsGettingFirm is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: fear of isolation
Old 05-05-2006, 03:26 PM   #50
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 6
Re: fear of isolation

i am single 56 and moved into my renisance period last year. i relocated to this area with my job 5 years ago. the only acquaintances i had were from work. so i have to say that i have felt a little isolated. i decdied to give it a go and make it my community, at least for 1 more year. i agree with other posters that you need to ease into retirement and not make many changes at once.....
__________________

__________________
jmm is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fidelity High Income Fund - Should I fear? Budman FIRE and Money 24 02-25-2007 08:53 PM
Fear During a Recession camberiu FIRE and Money 65 01-09-2007 01:33 PM
Fear and Greed PsyopRanger FIRE and Money 25 07-16-2006 01:15 PM
Fear or Love; What motovated you to RE? dex Life after FIRE 63 03-03-2006 03:27 PM
Nothing to fear but fear itself............. Cut-Throat FIRE and Money 44 08-17-2004 02:17 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:11 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.