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Old 08-08-2010, 10:49 AM   #41
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I get the sense that a lot of people who retire early (or even just "regular" retire), actually miss a lot of the structure of a job. I know DW will drive me nuts when we retire because she needs to have a certain structure or plan to the day.

Me, I can lay in a hammock and drool on myself until the cows come home. I think what is needed for a lot of people is a "transition" job. Like a job where it's not about the money, but more about the structure of filling some time into your days while you figure out what to do with your extra free time. It doesn't even have to be that fulfilling. Go work in a coffee shop or bookstore 3 or 4 days a week or something.

It's not that I have little sympathy for people like this, but there's tons I want to do. Learn a language, read more, learn how to fix a car, grow a garden etc.....to say you NEED a job is to say you're not sure what to do with yourself. Now if you have a CAREER and actually enjoy what you do, well that's a different story.....
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:50 AM   #42
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I get the sense that a lot of people who retire early (or even just "regular" retire), actually miss a lot of the structure of a job. I know DW will drive me nuts when we retire because she needs to have a certain structure or plan to the day.
Easy solution - find her a job.
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:54 AM   #43
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Easy solution - find her a job.
DW is in a particularly unique field, I already have tagged her as "Future Part-Time Consultant"
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:55 AM   #44
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Someone once told me "We are "humans doing" not "human beings". (and it should be the other way around). That comment hit home. Another comment that hit home after I walked away from my job was a friend told me when I was struggling with a "purpose" : " As a person, you are not "what you do"..meaning "what you do" in terms of a job is subject to change.

While it may have taken me a while to adjust to not working...I would not go back. Thirty years of working while raising children was enough and I pray my savings will last...once I have to start drawing on them in about 4 years.
While I was always these things to some degree I have become even more the "yard woman", "the house woman", "the home improvement woman"(painting room, staining decks..etc), "the support my working husband woman", "the support my children with their lives woman", the "budget keeper" calling the telephone, cable, insurance companies to get better services for fewer dollars..etc. (and by support I mean simply being there for them which takes time!) These are thankless jobs...but hey...someone has to do it! LOL!
I probably save "us" $15,000 a year or more doing the things I used to pay others to do...if not more. Over 10 years, that's $150,000 or more. It wasn't until I stopped working that I had the time to do all these things and realized how much I was making other people rich on things I could do myself...now that I had the time.
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:58 AM   #45
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Tyler Durden: "You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your ******* khakis"
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:06 AM   #46
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So I fully expect to continue to work, but at something that's purely for the enjoyment/satisfaction, instead of something that's just the best paying gig I can get (what I do now). Some of us are just happier with structured work - just knowing I can walk anytime thanks to FI is "priceless" in a way I could not fathom until we actually arrived, it's bliss.
Great points - Being FI while working does change you mental attitude towards work. It takes away the 'I need this job' aspect. I can see how this would improve work performance since it takes some stress out of the equation.

I was one of those people who were bored silly at work - paid well, reasonable hours, easy work, head of a staff, computer & TV in the office.

Contrary to my current blues; I am a bit of a romantic and hopeful person. I think my ER is part of what I need to do to grow as a person - it may take awhile; I can be very stupid.

So far, the scale is tipping towards I did the correct thing.
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:41 PM   #47
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With your lifestyle, I can certainly see that. But some couples aren't really much into travel, for example, and there it can work well, particularly if one spouse has a good enough j*b and benefits while the other does most of the housework and runs most of the errands.
The ability to go on extended leisure travel was one of my major impetuses to retire early.

If DH had continued to work, I don't think I would have retired, because frankly I don't think I would have found enough to do being in town all the time, and I had little interest in going off on my own.

DH was already part-time in his self-employed work, so we had already enjoyed the benefits of one spouse running a lot of the household and errands while the other pulled long hours. And it was great. But when I was ready to retire, I made sure he was also ready to close up shop, otherwise I would have kept working - at least part time too, I think. My company made me some nice offers for staying on with reduced hours.

But each to his own.

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Old 08-08-2010, 02:15 PM   #48
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My S.O. is semi-retired (self-employed) and I am now fully retired. This was intentional (on my part). I notice that he has a much more structured approach to the day than I do - he sets goals and gets upset when he (usually) misses them

I, on the other hand, vary from doing one project or another or just loafing. I deserve it and unless there's a need, I don't see why I should hassle myself with unnecessary goals for the day. I'm slowly working my way through the clutter. I want to organize the house. But I don't beat myself up or set any goals - just over the next year or so I'd like to get it done.

I can't envision a situation where I wouldn't have something to do - watch a movie, read a book, make art work, even clean up the clutter, loaf, garden, talk to friends.... I haven't had time to hang out with friends yet but I will at some point need some stuff like that to get me out of the house. At least I think so.

I also play games on facebook ... It's a petite vice, all things considered!

I'm messing with financial stuff all the time, for fun. Just moved to Quicken so now I get to learn how to work that program. I invest and watch my investments a lot, but that is fun for me.

The one thing I do NOT miss is having to do stuff on someone else's schedule, and being judged by my manager. Or by anyone. I don't have to get up early or go to meetings. I'm cutting back on volunteer work that doesn't suit me. I can't believe how much less stressed I am already - I expected it, but it has been substantial. I have plenty of stress from dealing with elderly parents and so on - but it's not like the work stress was.

It's great for me. That doesn't help the OP's wife out of her situation - I did this voluntarily. I guess my advice would be to analyze what parts of the job were rewarding and what parts were not. Then see if she can find some way to fill those needs in another way, whether it's volunteer work of some kind, or a job, or perhaps just part time work.

Good luck!
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Old 08-08-2010, 05:33 PM   #49
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The one thing I do NOT miss is having to do stuff on someone else's schedule, and being judged by my manager. Or by anyone. I don't have to get up early or go to meetings.
That's four things. And I can add about 50 more.

I ER'ed four months ago and have been walking on clouds ever since. I catch myself sometimes with this huge, silly grin on my face, for the first time in decades. Every day I get more determined never, ever to have to go back to w*rk. I have to admit I look at people who can retire, but don't, the same way I'd look at a two-headed snake at the circus. But I try to remember that people are different, and to each his own.
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:40 PM   #50
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Not much mention of the kids in this thread. Every 47 year old woman that I know with children is playing a big role in getting helping their kids with college applications, high school sports or academic booster clubs, and general black hawk helicoptering around. I wonder if Happybee27 would like to comment about all that.

Then soon after kids complete college, come the grandkids. Many 47 year-old women are grandmas. That leads on to another rewarding stage of life.
Yes, I do have 3 kids, two in the colleges and 1 in high school. In fact, after FIRE, my most rewarding time is able to spend more time with the kids. I do spend time send/fetch the younger one to school, trying out new recipes for the family. As for grand kids, it is still long way to go...but I'm sure it will be rewarding
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:12 AM   #51
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Well, Happybee27, I will be joining you in ER next month and I would have worked longer if not for health reasons. I've been working for 28 years and I don't remember what it is like not to work and it scares me. I guess ER is about regaining control of our lives (I'm so busy while I work that I rush through my life and don't do half of the things I really like to do) and about living beyond the immediete (I doubt there'll be many deadlines to rush during ER). I still haven't figured out totally how to live my life after ER but there are a few things I have identified and am happy to give up my salary to pursue these and would not mind doing them for the rest of my life. My friends who retired earlier than me tells me that there will be more unplanned events or things that will just fill up my time. They tell me that the first 2 years require lots of adjusting and after that, they just don't want to go back to work. Give yourself some time to adjust. If you think you are still not ready, then go back to work. I hope all works out well for you and also for me.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:13 PM   #52
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Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:21 PM   #53
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It sounds like you got off the horse while it was still at full gallop...
I have told about my involvement with a couple of business ventures that failed.

I didn't get off the horse; more like I fell off the bronco.

After that, I don't ever want to ride again. I am grateful I can still walk now.

And I have strung up a hammock.
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Old 08-10-2010, 05:54 AM   #54
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Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy.
I'm looking forward to spending at least 30 or 40 healthy and stress free years in retirement.

Work is for people who lack imagination.
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Old 08-10-2010, 06:57 AM   #55
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Work is for people who lack imagination.
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Old 08-10-2010, 07:38 AM   #56
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Work is for people who lack imagination.
you say that like its a bad thing ; - )

for the imagination-challenged who can't face going back to work, another path is to jump start your neglected right hemisphere (its in there whether you are comfortable with this concept or not) and take music or painting lessons or something creative if you did not develop this aspect in your youth.

another angle is to get in touch with your inner hedonist which got stomped on to get through school and career and to connect with nature, gardening and animals.

my last suggestion for the day is to go on to amazon and search books on happiness and buy a stack of (used) books and read through them...and develop a personal theory of happiness, which may or may not lead you back into work of some kind.
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Old 08-10-2010, 08:28 AM   #57
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There are lots of ways to make your retirement interesting without returning to work . If your retirement is boring maybe you haven't developed a new life apart from work . I had worked for forty years when I retired . I spent the first four months just relaxing and then boredom set in so instead of getting a part time job I just reinvented my life . I joined a gym and went regularly . I then taught myself how to sell on ebay successfully . I now have a lucrative hobby that I enjoy . I 've made new friends and lost fourteen pounds .Lots of times in life you have to recreate yourself retirement is just one more of those times . I can see how for some people this is their first opportunity to recreate their lives and the fear stops them so they just stay in the old pattern .
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Old 08-10-2010, 08:41 AM   #58
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I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement....
...which makes your presence on an early retirement board more than a little odd....
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Old 08-10-2010, 09:03 AM   #59
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a lot of retired people get real estate (or mortgage, yacht broker) licenses and putter at that (or do very well). No stress (assuming you are financially independent)/No Boss 100% commission situations.

there may not be a logical business case for this however....once you are independent, logic suggests a requirement to refocus on pleasure and longevity.
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Old 08-10-2010, 09:10 AM   #60
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once you are independent, logic suggests a requirement to refocus on pleasure and longevity.
I like your logic.
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