Feeling Empty after early retirement

[Moscyn]

Well, Happybee27, I will be joining you in ER next month and I would have worked longer if not for health reasons. I've been working for 28 years and I don't remember what it is like not to work and it scares me. I guess ER is about regaining control of our lives (I'm so busy while I work that I rush through my life and don't do half of the things I really like to do) and about living beyond the immediete (I doubt there'll be many deadlines to rush during ER). I still haven't figured out totally how to live my life after ER but there are a few things I have identified and am happy to give up my salary to pursue these and would not mind doing them for the rest of my life. My friends who retired earlier than me tells me that there will be more unplanned events or things that will just fill up my time. They tell me that the first 2 years require lots of adjusting and after that, they just don't want to go back to work. Give yourself some time to adjust. If you think you are still not ready, then go back to work. I hope all works out well for you and also for me.

 

[oilspill]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

 

[NW-Bound]

It sounds like you got off the horse while it was still at full gallop...

I have told about my involvement with a couple of business ventures that failed.

I didn't get off the horse; more like I fell off the bronco.

After that, I don't ever want to ride again. I am grateful I can still walk now.

And I have strung up a hammock.

 

[Tigger]

Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy.

I'm looking forward to spending at least 30 or 40 healthy and stress free years in retirement.

Work is for people who lack imagination.

 

[Dawg52]

Work is for people who lack imagination.

 

[Kroeran]

Work is for people who lack imagination.

you say that like its a bad thing ; - )

for the imagination-challenged who can't face going back to work, another path is to jump start your neglected right hemisphere (its in there whether you are comfortable with this concept or not) and take music or painting lessons or something creative if you did not develop this aspect in your youth.

another angle is to get in touch with your inner hedonist which got stomped on to get through school and career and to connect with nature, gardening and animals.

my last suggestion for the day is to go on to amazon and search books on happiness and buy a stack of (used) books and read through them...and develop a personal theory of happiness, which may or may not lead you back into work of some kind.

 

[Moemg]

There are lots of ways to make your retirement interesting without returning to work . If your retirement is boring maybe you haven't developed a new life apart from work . I had worked for forty years when I retired . I spent the first four months just relaxing and then boredom set in so instead of getting a part time job I just reinvented my life . I joined a gym and went regularly . I then taught myself how to sell on ebay successfully . I now have a lucrative hobby that I enjoy . I 've made new friends and lost fourteen pounds .Lots of times in life you have to recreate yourself retirement is just one more of those times . I can see how for some people this is their first opportunity to recreate their lives and the fear stops them so they just stay in the old pattern .

 

[ziggy29]

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement....

...which makes your presence on an early retirement board more than a little odd....

 

[Kroeran]

a lot of retired people get real estate (or mortgage, yacht broker) licenses and putter at that (or do very well). No stress (assuming you are financially independent)/No Boss 100% commission situations.

there may not be a logical business case for this however....once you are independent, logic suggests a requirement to refocus on pleasure and longevity.

 

[Tigger]

once you are independent, logic suggests a requirement to refocus on pleasure and longevity.

I like your logic.

 

[FIREd]

...which makes your presence on an early retirement board more than a little odd....

He is just trying to save us lost souls...

Me? I am just in the second week of the death spiral and loving every minute of the ride to the bottom...

 

[REWahoo]

...which makes your presence on an early retirement board more than a little odd....

Hey, if you can't do it, rail at those who can.

 

[dex]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

That is a possibility.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

ER can be the dream of a 'tropical island' to get away from the stress of work and day to day life. That is not a positive motivation.

Successful ER is work. I think it is difficult to Americans because of the work ethic, competitiveness and that we are trained to work from an early age.

Also, ER is not a destination but a journey that begins when work stops.

Sometimes, I think my happiness days were when I a teenager 15-19 when I went to school during the days and worked in a supermarket stocking shelves for 30 hours/wk during school and 40 during the summer. The work was made more bearable for me due to my hope for a better future than the adults that did it for a living. I think that combination of volunteering (work) and education is appealing to me.

Oilspill, stick around, people need to hear your point of view.

 

[flyfishnevada]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral. I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

I can't disagree with oilspill's sentiments, but who says work has to be a job. You can volunteer, work at a new skill, do something you love that might even make some money. Retirement isn't the time you shut down and coast to a hopefully peaceful passing form this world. Retirement is your chance to do what you want, when you want, solely for your pleasure. It's when you get to exit the rat race, stop working for the man, etc. and pursue your dreams. Just because your new retirement activities aren't "productive", doesn't mean they aren't important to you. Travel can be your ";work". Or it could be restoring old cars, scrapbooking or any number of things working people call hobbies. If it's important to you, it's important. Retirement doesn't mean not working, it means not working for others. Find your sweet spot and go for it. Being lazy, watching TV and disengaging from life isn't the recipe for a successful ER. However, staying in a job that is less than fulfilling, stressful and is consuming your life just for the sake of not retiring isn't good for you either.

Successful ER is work. I think it is difficult to Americans because of the work ethic, competitiveness and that we are trained to work from an early age.

Right! Planning should begin years before you actual FIRE. Continuing to plan, adjust and adapt is necessary once you have FIRE'd. A meaningful retirement takes work. Fortunately, it's fun work.

 

[M Paquette]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

Yeah, it's terrible to be retired. Heck, since I retired I've lost 40 pounds, gotten my blood pressure under control, and have finally had the time to get a bunch of other health issues taken care of. Yepper, a real death spiral.

Your mistake here, among others, is to assume that being retired is the same as being lazy. It's not. Being retired means that I'm in control of my life, schedule, and activities, without having to answer to anyone else.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

Yet, some of us might want to do something besides work while we are healthy enough to enjoy such activities. Retiring to one's sick bed isn't really much of a retirement plan. You're welcome to follow your advice, of course, but please don't presume that your 'work til you're too sick to go on' plan is appropriate for the rest of us.

You should keep on working as long as possible, of course. I plan on living a long time, and I'll need your Medicare and SS contributions to keep me comfy.

 

[harley]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

I got fat and bored when I was working, but I'm better now.

As far as bad habits, those are the result of a life time of effort, and I'm not quitting now.

 

[Midpack]

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

I am a little on the fence myself, and we're not entirely alone, even here.

 

[Purron]

Life of laziness is a wicked curse. You'll get fat, you'll get bored. You'll develop bad habits. Better to find some meaningful work to do to rescue yourself from what could be a death spiral.

I'm one of the few on here who advocate against early retirement for the sake of early retirement. Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy. Get back to work even if all you could find is unpaid work.

I'm cool with you having this opinion for yourself or for some people. I'm not cool with applying this to everyone. "Never if you are healthy" (emphasis added) is such a broad generalization. I don't believe we've ever met let alone gotten to know each other well enough for you to tell me how I should live my life.

 

[REWahoo]

Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy.

In this world people will try to tell you that you can't or shouldn't do a lot of things yourself.

Yep.

 

[NW-Bound]

Retire if you're sick, but never if you are healthy.

Does it count if one is sick of work?

 

[bbbamI]

My momma told me on occasion she was sick AND tired..

 

[NW-Bound]

My momma told me on occasion she was sick AND tired..

Sick and tired of work like this guy?

Most of us will probably never pull a Steven Slater: curse out a customer, grab a drink and leave our place of employment in a blaze of glory.

But let’s face it, we’ve all had the urge.

Slater, a flight attendant on JetBlue, instantly became a folk hero in many people’s eyes Monday after he grabbed a microphone and ranted at a passenger who had refused to apologize for hitting Slater with some luggage. Slater then grabbed a beer from the galley and fled the plane via the emergency exit chute.​

More details are here: Many see JetBlue worker as hero - Business - Your retirement - msnbc.com

 

[scrabbler1]

For many people including myself, a big benefit to being FIREd is being rid of the negative things about working. For me, that meant getting rid of the long, tiring, and sickening commute even two days a week. It, along with the morning routine of scrambling around to get to the train on time made me nauseous (i.e. sick) most of the time in the last years of working. Also, working even P/T was preventing me from pursuing more fully the other things I had been doing on weekdays for several years.

So, I improved my life by being FIREd by removing negatives as well as adding actual positives. Got that, Oilspill?

 

[TooFrugal]

Happybee27, I think I can relate a bit to what you are going through. I went through a bit of the same thing when I left the corporate world. In my case I quit work when my kids were little. I went from a large staff and a corner office to being an unemployed housewife who had to schedule doctor's appointments around the teenage babysitter's cheerleading practice schedule.

Initially I joined a lot of clubs and made nonworking friends and then eventually started my own business. Now I would be really sad if I ever had to go back to having a real job with set hours, but initially it took some getting used to.

If much of your life has evolved around going to school for a certain career and then climbing the corporate ladder, it is a huge switch to have that change overnight. Probably more so if it wasn't your decision.

I think having kids getting out of high school is also a transition point because your time outside of work for the last couple of decades was spent on kids, sports, scouts, music lessons, orthodontic appointments, etc. Lots of your social contacts outside of work were probably your kids' friends' parents. My husband and I have actually been planning for this by joining different hobby and social groups as our kids are getting older and more independent. It is hard to keep up with the groups because we are both still working and both kids are still at home, but we have started making friends with shared interests other than kids' sports teams or scout groups.

With leaving your job and your kids transitioning off to college you are being hit with two life changing events at one time. My advice would be to hang in there, look for a job if you want or else keep busy as others have suggested doing volunteer work, joining clubs, start a business, write a book, etc.

 

[bbbamI]

Sick and tired of work like this guy?

Not exactly..at the time she was not working outside our home.

I think she was referring to me and my shenanigans...