FI and dating

[donheff]

there's an old saying: putting your guard up will keep you safe, but letting your guard down will get you laid.

Words to live by. The whole post was good LG4NB.

 

[HFWR]

Two hundred bucks will also get you laid...

 

[Andre1969]

well heck, to get laid often the only investment you have to put forth there is maybe a couple years, a Dodge with a big enough back seat, and then a trip to the free clinic when the condom breaks, or the beer impaired your judgement.

 

[Scrooge]

my brother married a person who had no money and whose family had none either. plus she was a spender. to protect family wealth, my scared-for-him, practical-for-us parents insisted that for my brother to stay in the family business he had to have a prenup with her. over the years i have watched as she turned into a financially responsible, lovely person, who deeply loves my brother

Sure, people can change for the better, but I wonder what percentage of big spenders become frugal once they get married? From everything I have seen myself and read on this board, that's not the way to bet. Glad it worked out for your brother, though, he is one lucky husband!  

there's an old saying: putting your guard up will keep you safe, but letting your guard down will get you laid.

That would have been a concern when I was half my current age   These days I look primarily for companionship, compatibility and all that other stuff, although good sex wouldn't hurt either if it came as part of the package. But hey, you drive a covertible and I drive a sedan, which is probably all you need to know about our diverging approaches to life

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

Sure, people can change for the better, but I wonder what percentage of big spenders become frugal once they get married? From everything I have seen myself and read on this board, that's not the way to bet. Glad it worked out for your brother, though, he is one lucky husband!  

That would have been a concern when I was half my current age   These days I look primarily for companionship, compatibility and all that other stuff, although good sex wouldn't hurt either if it came as part of the package. But hey, you drive a covertible and I drive a sedan, which is probably all you need to know about our diverging approaches to life 

relax, it wasn't an all out call for viagra. it was just a metaphor.

i don't think it was so much a matter of change. i think it was a matter of the person becoming comfortable with a situation. sometimes stress & who knows what psychological factors make a person want to shop when all they really need is a hug.

as to people who intentionally try to come off as something they are not--and i've had my share of experience with those--well, i think justin nailed that one pretty quickly: "just keep it real."

ps. as to the vertible, i simply love the wind. nothing more.

 

[Scrooge]

relax, it wasn't an all out call for viagra. it was just a metaphor.

Hehe, no offense taken and no offense meant  Besides, at 40, I don't have to worry about Viagra yet  Different people assign different values to different things in life and strike the balance between "safety and pleasure" differently. You wouldn't want my sedan and I wouldn't want your convertible. That wind would get me a sore throat in no time flat and just think of the extra insurance costs!  8)

i don't think it was so much a matter of change. i think it was a matter of the person becoming comfortable with a situation. sometimes stress & who knows what psychological factors make a person want to shop when all they really need is a hug.

Hm, that's an interesting point. I wonder if anybody else has seen this phenomenon? Is it possible to tell ahead of time whether a particular shopaholic is curable?

 

[Ed_The_Gypsy]

When we were first dating, my later-wife thought I was rich and I thought she was rich. We were both wrong. Oh, well.

 

[unclemick]

Hmmm

The SO used to razz me once in a while - about my beer fueled line of bull when we first met - millionaire in three years.

Counting hers - it took 23 - years that is.

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh

 

[Scrooge]

The SO used to razz me once in a while - about my beer fueled line of bull when we first met - millionaire in three years.

I recall talking to a lot of "millionaires in three years" ca. 1998-1999

 

[unclemick]

Yep

I was a 'legend in my own mind' - 1976 - roughly the time period Bogle rolled out his first index fund.

I even liked RE then - in New Orleans of all places.

heh heh heh heh

 

[justin]

I recall talking to a lot of "millionaires in three years" ca. 1998-1999

I think my brother was one of those "millionaires in three years" at age 21. He was going to retire at age 24. To quote him: "Anyone who accepts less than 16% on any investment is an idiot. You can easily get 16% risk free." circa 1999 (Yes, he's still working, doing construction instead of tech work, at age 28 - no investments to mention last I talked to him).

 

[REWahoo]

I recall talking to a lot of "millionaires in three years" ca. 1998-1999

Before I found out it was a movie about stealing cars, I thought "Gone in 60 Seconds" was a documetary about these guys.

 

[Andre1969]

Back around late 1998/early 1999, I'll admit I got a bit delusional, too. I finally made my last payment to CCCS in November of 1998, which once and for all got me out from under the burden of my failed marriage. I had a part time job delivering pizzas where after taxes I was often bringing in more than I did at my full time job. And my accounts with American Century and Janus were, in that brief amount of time averaging about 40%. Now logically I knew that wouldn't last, but I kept thinking that, in theory, it could. Or if not 40%, easily 15-20% or more.

I remember jokingly telling my mother that I was going to retire in 2009. I figured I could have well over $1Million by then. She got a bit miffed, telling me I'd better not because that was when SHE planned on retiring! And who was going to take care of her in her old age?

I also naively thought that real estate prices would stay down, and my plan was, in 2004 when I was 34, to buy one of these local houses that in 1998/99 could probably be had for $125-140K and sell my condo.

Well, once I hit 30, in 2000, I got fed up with working the part time job delivering pizzas, and valued my free time much more, so I quit. There went that nice extra income. Then came the tech bubble burst, and other markets followed it. Then came 9/11 and the ensuing recession. Meanwhile, housing prices shot up, and one of those $125-140K houses that I thought I'd buy when I was 34 were probably closer to $250K, and possibly more like $300K+ today.

So here I am, in the middle of 2006. 2009 will be here in 2 1/2 years. Will I retire then? Most likely not. But on the plus side, I'm 1/3 owner in a house that's probably worth about $600K, was able to sell my condo and bank a pretty nice profit, and my only real debt is about $86K on an HELOC that I'm paying down prematurely. And I figure I could still retire when I'm 45, in 2015. So while the future didn't work out the way my delusional mind thought it would, I do still have a lot to be thankful for.

 

[Lancelot]

One way is to move to Asia and do pay as you go.

Ha

Yup, in the west, the preferred payment is a fat lump sum.

Mai pen rai...

 

[Kitty]

PRECIOUS METAL Excavators... Gold Diggers come in both sexes. FI negates need for togetherness but does not mean a partner would not be a nice addition. Challenge is to find a compatable one who is also FI minded... I did not "LBYM" and accumulate to finance anothers retirement and offspring. :

Ya, well they don't have to be potential lovers to be blood suckers either .... relatives and friends can be a big problem if you know what I mean. It seems that the only ones that understand you are the ones who lived like you did and have the same or more. Just because you have investments doesn't mean your a bank.

Kitty

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

I was wondering how single people who have achieved FI handle precious metals excavators? Sometimes it feels like FI means that you have to be doubly and triply paranoid about who you date. The last single young female that I worked with had "Here comes the answer to all of my [self-inflicted] financial problems!" painted with bright neon letters on her forehead

I'm not FI yet, but I had one lady tell me that she needed a new, preferably luxury car. I crossed my fingers and ran the other way.

 

[Ol_Rancher]

Through out my adult life the first rule has always been:

Only date women who have a career.

* modified lately to : Only date women who have a career or the means to support their own lifestyle.

After this 'primary directive' one must look at the "baggage"  each of us carries in one form or another.

At my age (Boomer), 'deal braker' baggage includes:
       a   no pension or portfolio
       b   offspring facing college without funding
       c    not getting LYMB

Did I miss something here ?

Oh yeah, at this age a reasonably decent looking man, in good health, and FI holds all the 'cards' .. no need  to jump through the hoops we had to during earlier phases of life (20 & 30 somethings take note)

 

[crazy connie]

Through out my adult life the first rule has always been:

Only date women who have a career.

* modified lately to : Only date women who have a career or the means to support their own lifestyle.

After this 'primary directive' one must look at the "baggage"  each of us carries in one form or another.

At my age (Boomer), 'deal braker' baggage includes:
       a   no pension or portfolio
       b   offspring facing college without funding
       c    not getting LYMB

Did I miss something here ?

Oh yeah, at this age a reasonably decent looking man, in good health, and FI holds all the 'cards' .. no need  to jump through the hoops we had to during earlier phases of life (20 & 30 somethings take note)

DITTO for the FI ladies! Also, must not be into get rich quick schemes with my money! Got close to that fire once... Did not get singed though!

 

[AltaRed]

DITTO for the FI ladies!  Also, must not be into get rich quick schemes with my money!  Got close to that fire once...  Did not get singed though!

Agree it works both ways. A very good list from Ol_Rancher. I believe the issue (risk) is exacerbated with 50somethings and 60somethings because those without FI at that point come to recognize they waited way too long to get FI and their options have essentially run out. Catching a big fish becomes more critical.

 

[cube_rat]

I have an acquaintance who's a major gold digger in addition to being eyecandy material.  She's managed to rope two husbands along with numerous boyfriends (all with substantial money, of course). She managed to accumulate BIG diamond rings, a paid for, fully furnished house in a toney part of the silicon valley, a new lexus, lots o' plastic surgery, trips to exotic places etc.  Her children attend private school and she has a nanny.  This woman has never worked a real job in her life nor went to college.  Oh and she's 40 years old.    My point is with all of this info from you forum men, there are apparently lots of men out there who fall for the eyecandy/gold digger thing.    I will never understand the inner workings of men.

 

[Nords]

This woman has never worked a real job in her life nor went to college.  Oh and she's 40 years old.    My point is with all of this info from you forum men, there are apparently lots of men out there who fall for the eyecandy/gold digger thing.  

Yes, but has she found true happiness in her life, or just a series of meaningless oversexed flings?

Would you happen to have her contact info so that I could inquire personally?

I will never understand the inner workings of men.

The difference between women & men on that issue is that we make no attempt to understand our inner workings.

 

[REWahoo]

I will never understand the inner workings of men.

Oh, c'mon Rat! I'm gonna get two for one here, answering your question and giving my nomination for the worst sci-fi movie ever made.

 

[cube_rat]

Oh, c'mon Rat!  I'm gonna get two for one here, answering your question and giving my nomination for the worst sci-fi movie ever made.

 

[Texas Proud]

I think my brother was one of those "millionaires in three years" at age 21.  He was going to retire at age 24.  To quote him: "Anyone who accepts less than 16% on any investment is an idiot.  You can easily get 16% risk free." circa 1999  (Yes, he's still working, doing construction instead of tech work, at age 28 - no investments to mention last I talked to him).

Of course he has no investments... it is difficult to find those 16% risk free ones laying around....

 

[Mwsinron]

Of course he has no investments... it is difficult to find those 16% risk free ones laying around....

Ha, damn Im happy with a solid 8 percent. In fact I do a little jig with a solid 8 percent. Guess it doesnt take much to make me happy.