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Old 01-11-2011, 01:18 PM   #21
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Oh, sure. It's all great until one day they drive the RV through the Long Beach Tunnel and show up in your driveway asking to use the RV hookups...
And I really appreciated your hospitality.
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Old 01-11-2011, 01:29 PM   #22
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Old 01-11-2011, 01:51 PM   #23
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And that is another thing: The Internet makes age irrelevant so, theoretically, you would never "run out of friends." In fact, on the Internet (IMHO) everyone is the same age -- unless one points out their exact age in some forceful way.
Yes, my guild in WoW had people from their late 50s to pre-teen that I knew of, it is certainly possible some folks were even older. Until we started using voice chat it was hard to remember that some of the kids were so young. The fact that we could easily have people 40 years apart adventuring together, and counting on each other as team mates was a big deal, in my opinion, for the long term prospects of reducing inter-generational gaps.
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Old 01-11-2011, 01:52 PM   #24
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I am an introvert, but along with my "alone time" I still have regular contact with people, who would notice these things. It's important for safety reasons, as the above paragraph points out.

Also, if a retiree was depressed, with memory loss, overall poor health, a general inability to manage the basics of daily living, and a fear of falling/dying alone, why wouldn't he/she *do* something about his/her isolation? I know this is a common problem but I have a hard time understanding that mentality.
We moved my SO's mother to senior independent living last July, and she is much healthier, walking more strongly, etc. They provide 3 meals a day & housekeeping & rides & activities. She has a real apartment, 2BR with a real kitchen. It isn't assisted living. They do check on the residents daily if they haven't seen them, and there's a panic button etc.

However, now that she feels better, she completely denies that she was in overall poor health, depressed, unable to manage daily living appropriately, etc... when she was living alone in a single family house. Even at the time, she thought she was fine, just tired. So - she wouldn't ask for help or accept that she needed it. Now she says that she could have stayed in the house. She wouldn't have moved if we hadn't felt strongly that she was becoming ill. Among other things, she had 2 falls resulting in broken bones, while in her house.

She doesn't want to think that she can't do at 84 what she could do at 60. Denial is a major coping mechanism, along with re-invention of recent history...
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Old 01-11-2011, 02:00 PM   #25
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We moved my SO's mother to senior independent living last July, and she is much healthier, walking more strongly, etc. They provide 3 meals a day & housekeeping & rides & activities. She has a real apartment, 2BR with a real kitchen. It isn't assisted living. They do check on the residents daily if they haven't seen them, and there's a panic button etc.

However, now that she feels better, she completely denies that she was in overall poor health, depressed, unable to manage daily living appropriately, etc... when she was living alone in a single family house. Even at the time, she thought she was fine, just tired. So - she wouldn't ask for help or accept that she needed it. Now she says that she could have stayed in the house. She wouldn't have moved if we hadn't felt strongly that she was becoming ill. Among other things, she had 2 falls resulting in broken bones, while in her house.

She doesn't want to think that she can't do at 84 what she could do at 60. Denial is a major coping mechanism, along with re-invention of recent history...
My Grandfather just (at the beginning of this month) moved into a similar living situation in Boston. At age 96. He was doing fine until his company moved the office to New Jersey from NYC and he couldn't walk to work every day anymore, after that he definitely deteriorated over the last few years (though to be fair I'm not sure he wouldn't have had the issues anyways). He continues to insist he is fine and can take care of himself, but we're hoping that getting him into the retirement community will give him a social network that he had lost to friends dying and work becoming harder to get to (and just his continued aging out of connection with the people at work. The young guys he brought in as partners years ago are in their 60s now, and the vast majority of employees are vastly younger).

My parents are promising they won't make the same mistakes and are planning for their living needs as they get old so that they don't end up clinging to a lifestyle that they can't really maintain on their own anymore when aging makes it too difficult. We're all vastly relieved that my grandfather is out of his house in NYC and in somewhere where the family can actually visit him frequently, and the staff do checks in case he falls again.
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Old 01-11-2011, 02:15 PM   #26
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This is not one of the reasons.... but it was inside of one....


"..... for allowing its brokers to hold sales presentations where they told 55-year-old employees of BellSouth -- who the company wanted to take early retirement -- to expect that for 30 years they could earn approximately 12% annually on their investments, while withdrawing 9% annually. More than 1,000 employees believed them -- and lost their shirts"





How can a broker even say something like that Are there that many dishonest people...

Makes my blood boil, if I'd never listened to Dave Ramsey (other than his great advice about debt) I wouldn't be in the fix that I'm currently in. Too bad I didn't find Otar before Ramsey. But the good news is that it's never too late to start doing the right thing, so we're re balancing our portfolio Otar style.
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:03 PM   #27
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Makes my blood boil, if I'd never listened to Dave Ramsey (other than his great advice about debt) I wouldn't be in the fix that I'm currently in. Too bad I didn't find Otar before Ramsey. But the good news is that it's never too late to start doing the right thing, so we're re balancing our portfolio Otar style.
Yeah, Ramsey's not the go-to guy for investing, that's for sure. (I'm a Bill Bernstein kind of guy myself.) The first time I heard him talk about expecting 12% a year from stock mutual funds, I was lucky I didn't crash my car.

There are a lot of aspect to financial planning: spending and budgeting, debt management, investing, insurance, retirement and estate planning, the list goes on. Few people are really experts in all of these areas.
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:14 PM   #28
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My parents are promising they won't make the same mistakes and are planning for their living needs as they get old so that they don't end up clinging to a lifestyle that they can't really maintain on their own anymore when aging makes it too difficult. We're all vastly relieved that my grandfather is out of his house in NYC and in somewhere where the family can actually visit him frequently, and the staff do checks in case he falls again.
I think the social life is important. My SO's mom has taken some time to get used to this, but she is starting to participate more fully.

We swear we will not leave clutter () and I wonder how we will manage this large house when we get older. We've got a while to go. I'm working on MY clutter... His is just an issue of a great deal of stuff he uses, related to his work. I would get a dumpster if he died, for most of it. Or have a tool estate sale...?
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:25 PM   #29
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Yeah, Ramsey's not the go-to guy for investing, that's for sure. (I'm a Bill Bernstein kind of guy myself.) The first time I heard him talk about expecting 12% a year from stock mutual funds, I was lucky I didn't crash my car.

There are a lot of aspect to financial planning: spending and budgeting, debt management, investing, insurance, retirement and estate planning, the list goes on. Few people are really experts in all of these areas.
exactly, it's way too complicated a proposition to rely on "earn 12%+ a year, strip off 8% and live like no one else", but I was the one who was greedy and thought wow, this is so simple and easy...HA!
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:40 PM   #30
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Anyway, I forgot to mention that the Internet does accomplish this "Friend" pooling without all that "touchy feely" stuff.
Thanks for sharing that, Ron. I love you, man.
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Old 01-11-2011, 06:27 PM   #31
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Thanks for sharing that, Ron. I love you, man.
Hug, hug, kiss, kiss.

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Old 01-11-2011, 07:06 PM   #32
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Thanks for sharing that, Ron. I love you, man.
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Old 01-12-2011, 09:48 AM   #33
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My days USED to be spent alone. I had to make a huge effort to find things to do, especially because my age peer group is still w*rking.

I love my new routine...Mr B goes to morning coffee with the guys, so I have several hours of "me" time to do things he isn't interested in.
Then he returns and we get out of the house. We may just go to the Legion and play cribbage or shoot the breeze, but we are among people and NOT vegging here in the house in front of the TV for hours on end. He is making fabulous connections in the Legion community and I am making new friends.

I had become disgusted with people on many levels and for many reasons. Mr B is helping me get past that cynicism. Sort of...
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Old 01-12-2011, 09:50 AM   #34
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I had become disgusted with people on many levels and for many reasons...
Present company excepted, I hope.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:25 AM   #35
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Obviously I'm biased, but as a game designer I think MMOs in particular are going to provide plenty of people with goals and sense of personal accomplishment in their old age.
"Dude, I got my Windows Solitaire score up to $7500!!"

I can only imagine what happens when casino gambling goes back online in high-bandwidth virtual reality...

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Oh, sure. It's all great until one day they drive the RV through the Long Beach Tunnel and show up in your driveway asking to use the RV hookups...
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And I really appreciated your hospitality.
30 amps, right? Bring it on! I have to admit that I'm tempted by all the longboard storage... and North Shore parking/lodging is always a colossal PITA...
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:29 PM   #36
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Yes, my guild in WoW had people from their late 50s to pre-teen that I knew of, it is certainly possible some folks were even older. Until we started using voice chat it was hard to remember that some of the kids were so young. The fact that we could easily have people 40 years apart adventuring together, and counting on each other as team mates was a big deal, in my opinion, for the long term prospects of reducing inter-generational gaps.
Yes, that is the great thing about WoW. I'm an avid player at 56 and DH as well at 63. I do find that very fast reaction time generally belongs to the younger players. I am a raider and generally raid as a healer where judgment tends to be more important than the fastest reaction time. We got into it when our then 12 year old started playing and I love the idea of playing with a wide age range. And it does keep me more on up to date.

The oldest player I've known was 76. He played with his wife (72) and various family members spread across the country all the way down to his 12 year old great granddaughter.
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:30 PM   #37
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Yeah, Ramsey's not the go-to guy for investing, that's for sure.
You can say that again. I've actually started a couple of threads on Dave's dumb advice in other forums.

"12% is fairly conservative." - Dave Ramsey - Financial Webring

The Official "Dave Ramsey's Dumb Investment Advice" Thread - Get Rich Slowly
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:36 PM   #38
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My days USED to be spent alone. I had to make a huge effort to find things to do, especially because my age peer group is still w*rking.
The same happened to me. None of my friends are ER. And my wife still works. And... Well you all know my sad story.

I struggle on.
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Old 01-12-2011, 08:42 PM   #39
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You can say that again. I've actually started a couple of threads on Dave's dumb advice in other forums.

"12% is fairly conservative." - Dave Ramsey - Financial Webring

The Official "Dave Ramsey's Dumb Investment Advice" Thread - Get Rich Slowly
i agree 100%! i think dr is well just my opinion... a jerk. i disagree with almost everything he says except to live within or below your means, i use my credit card for everything and get cash back just for using it and i never paid 1 cent in interest. his advice on paying off a mortgage is dangerous to young people, time makes money. to hell with paying off the mortgage in 10 years get money into mutual funds asap and your mortgage will take care of itself. 12% growth mutual funds, what joke! and lastly i respect people that have faith in god but i do not like people that wear it on their sleeve. guess that pretty sums up my feelings on that guy.
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