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For the retired introverts
Old 12-17-2014, 03:19 PM   #1
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For the retired introverts

I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:24 PM   #2
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once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly?
Can't speak about social anxiety, but inability to relax disappears almost immediately.
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:34 PM   #3
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I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly?
Yes. Six months after I retired and we moved to WV my sister said "I haven't seen you two (me and DW) look so relaxed for years".
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:39 PM   #4
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Being an engineer I didn't have some of the pressures you faced to be 'out there' but there's no question I am much more relaxed and content in retirement. And the effects were immediate.
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:40 PM   #5
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I guess you guys don't take anti-anxiety meds...
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Old 12-17-2014, 03:46 PM   #6
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I guess you guys don't take anti-anxiety meds...
Haha, as a matter of fact, I do when I have to give speech. Thanks for all the perspectives on this. I am sure looking forward to being home.
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Old 12-17-2014, 04:13 PM   #7
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I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
I'm about three months into early retirement. A couple of months in, I felt the stress was fully gone. I feel relaxed all the time now.

As a fellow introvert, you'll appreciate this thread from a couple of months ago:

ER: Revenge of the Introverts
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Old 12-17-2014, 04:30 PM   #8
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Yes!

(Though, with all the years of looking out for kids and colleagues, while also keeping up with parents and administrators, I'd forgotten that several decades ago--as a young person-- introversion was my default MO.)

Now that I'm so free to relax, there's little desire to go out and socialize. I still do like all those people, and have valuable friends......but there's just no motivation to get back into the thick of any social situation.

As I tell my extroverted husband, I'm "peopled out." Maybe someday the energy to be sociable will return. At least he understands that I used to manage 25-30 teenagers an hour, five different crowds a day, for about 34 years. When not addressing their needs, I had responsibilities to other adults in the building. All those years required a lot of talking.

It is such a delight--nowadays-- to be quiet!

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Old 12-17-2014, 04:34 PM   #9
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Absolutely.

Most people have me pegged as an extrovert - but given my druthers I'd spend the bulk of my time alone or with close friends/family puttering on things that interest me. I have fun at parties - but *enjoy* being home reading a book or watching tv more.

I'm reading the book "Quiet" right now and it's got some great insights on how our culture forces introverts to behave as extroverts for professional reasons.
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Old 12-17-2014, 05:13 PM   #10
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I'm reading the book "Quiet" right now and it's got some great insights on how our culture forces introverts to behave as extroverts for professional reasons.
I loved that book. So insightful for me.
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Old 12-17-2014, 05:24 PM   #11
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I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
Yes, it has been wonderful. I was feeling immeasurably better within just a month or so.

One thing that surprised me was that for quite some time I found myself peeling off levels of stress, one layer at a time like peeling an onion. I think it took me a couple of years before the onion was fully peeled. There was SO much more stress than I had any idea I was carrying with me. I think a lot of that was due to the working introvert thing.
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Old 12-17-2014, 05:29 PM   #12
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Yes!
As an introvert, there is no need to expand on this.


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Old 12-17-2014, 05:32 PM   #13
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I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
Since I have more alone time now to recharge my batteries, it is actually easier for me to be outgoing when needed.
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Old 12-17-2014, 05:56 PM   #14
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Ally,
I am very sympathetic. Anxiety has always troubled me at work too, and I long for retirement to relieve it. Like you, I also take a medication just before presentations (not a sedative, but something that reduces the fight-or-flight response). I'm pretty sure that retirement will be very soothing for people like us.
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Old 12-17-2014, 06:01 PM   #15
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Haha, as a matter of fact, I do when I have to give speech. Thanks for all the perspectives on this. I am sure looking forward to being home.

This is a little off topic but back in 1989 I discovered that the blood pressure drug propranolol is used for performance anxiety. I've used it for solo music performances and even a couple of big speeches. You take a small dose (for me, 20 mg) an hour before the event and there you are, up on stage, alert, a little on edge, waiting for the shaking and the rapid heart beat to start, and...it doesn't happen. No chance of drowsiness, no addictive potential, it just blocks the effects of adrenalin. DH uses it too on rare occasions. I don't know if this is what you use, but it is a well known use of this medication.

It is a prescription and it is inexpensive.


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Old 12-17-2014, 11:13 PM   #16
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I have been retired for 3 years. No problem relaxing, but if anything I could use a little more incentive to get out and meet new people. I love retirement but I will say it makes it very easy for me to settle back in my introversion and there are times I miss the social stimulation that came automatically in the workplace.


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Old 12-18-2014, 12:30 AM   #17
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I have been retired for 3 years. No problem relaxing, but if anything I could use a little more incentive to get out and meet new people. I love retirement but I will say it makes it very easy for me to settle back in my introversion and there are times I miss the social stimulation that came automatically in the workplace.
Being new at ER, I have come to realize I'm too relaxed, I have things to do and I'm not doing them. Even though I have much more time available.
Its nice, but not productive.
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Old 12-18-2014, 03:02 AM   #18
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I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
Yes.
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Old 12-18-2014, 05:33 AM   #19
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I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
In the same situation. The replies in this thread has been encouraging and gives me hope that when I retire or get laid off (hopefully in 2015) it will get better. It has been very hard to wake up in the morning and force myself to go to work for the past year or so.

Hopefully my next anxiety will not be due to acquiring affordable health insurance and having enough funds due to retiring early.
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Old 12-18-2014, 07:11 AM   #20
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I am not an introvert but I did do a lot of public speaking at work and invariably suffered a fair amount of stage fright before I would "go on." It always passed rather quickly and I was viewed as a good speaker but what a PITA. That anxiety disappeared after ER although it has popped back up for a couple of eulogies and other social speaking requirements since.
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