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For the retired introverts
12-17-2014, 02:19 PM
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#1
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West Tx
Posts: 1,392
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For the retired introverts
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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12-17-2014, 02:24 PM
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#2
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,199
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly?
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Can't speak about social anxiety, but inability to relax disappears almost immediately.
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12-17-2014, 02:34 PM
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#3
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly?
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Yes. Six months after I retired and we moved to WV my sister said "I haven't seen you two (me and DW) look so relaxed for years".
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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12-17-2014, 02:39 PM
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#4
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 3,222
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Being an engineer I didn't have some of the pressures you faced to be 'out there' but there's no question I am much more relaxed and content in retirement. And the effects were immediate.
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12-17-2014, 02:40 PM
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#5
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Les Bois
Posts: 5,761
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I guess you guys don't take anti-anxiety meds...
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You can't be a retirement plan actuary without a retirement plan, otherwise you lose all credibility...
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12-17-2014, 02:46 PM
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#6
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West Tx
Posts: 1,392
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big_Hitter
I guess you guys don't take anti-anxiety meds...
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Haha, as a matter of fact, I do when I have to give speech. Thanks for all the perspectives on this. I am sure looking forward to being home.
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12-17-2014, 03:13 PM
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#7
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 640
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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I'm about three months into early retirement. A couple of months in, I felt the stress was fully gone. I feel relaxed all the time now.
As a fellow introvert, you'll appreciate this thread from a couple of months ago:
http://www.early-retirement.org/foru...rts-74138.html
__________________
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"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
--Epictetus
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12-17-2014, 03:30 PM
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#8
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Ohio Suburb and WV Farm
Posts: 519
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Yes!
(Though, with all the years of looking out for kids and colleagues, while also keeping up with parents and administrators, I'd forgotten that several decades ago--as a young person-- introversion was my default MO.)
Now that I'm so free to relax, there's little desire to go out and socialize. I still do like all those people, and have valuable friends......but there's just no motivation to get back into the thick of any social situation.
As I tell my extroverted husband, I'm "peopled out." Maybe someday the energy to be sociable will return. At least he understands that I used to manage 25-30 teenagers an hour, five different crowds a day, for about 34 years. When not addressing their needs, I had responsibilities to other adults in the building. All those years required a lot of talking.
It is such a delight--nowadays-- to be quiet!
__________________
"Everything becomes more itself." --C.S. Lewis
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12-17-2014, 03:34 PM
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#9
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Moderator
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 14,171
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Absolutely.
Most people have me pegged as an extrovert - but given my druthers I'd spend the bulk of my time alone or with close friends/family puttering on things that interest me. I have fun at parties - but *enjoy* being home reading a book or watching tv more.
I'm reading the book "Quiet" right now and it's got some great insights on how our culture forces introverts to behave as extroverts for professional reasons.
__________________
Retired June 2014. No longer an enginerd - now I'm just a nerd.
micro pensions 6%, rental income 20%
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12-17-2014, 04:13 PM
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#10
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 268
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rodi
I'm reading the book "Quiet" right now and it's got some great insights on how our culture forces introverts to behave as extroverts for professional reasons.
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I loved that book. So insightful for me.
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12-17-2014, 04:24 PM
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#11
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,474
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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Yes, it has been wonderful. I was feeling immeasurably better within just a month or so.
One thing that surprised me was that for quite some time I found myself peeling off levels of stress, one layer at a time like peeling an onion. I think it took me a couple of years before the onion was fully peeled. There was SO much more stress than I had any idea I was carrying with me. I think a lot of that was due to the working introvert thing.
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Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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12-17-2014, 04:29 PM
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#12
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Limerick
Posts: 5,638
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Yes!
As an introvert, there is no need to expand on this.
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12-17-2014, 04:32 PM
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#13
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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Since I have more alone time now to recharge my batteries, it is actually easier for me to be outgoing when needed.
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12-17-2014, 04:56 PM
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#14
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 216
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Ally,
I am very sympathetic. Anxiety has always troubled me at work too, and I long for retirement to relieve it. Like you, I also take a medication just before presentations (not a sedative, but something that reduces the fight-or-flight response). I'm pretty sure that retirement will be very soothing for people like us.
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12-17-2014, 05:01 PM
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#15
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: South central PA
Posts: 3,469
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
Haha, as a matter of fact, I do when I have to give speech. Thanks for all the perspectives on this. I am sure looking forward to being home.
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This is a little off topic but back in 1989 I discovered that the blood pressure drug propranolol is used for performance anxiety. I've used it for solo music performances and even a couple of big speeches. You take a small dose (for me, 20 mg) an hour before the event and there you are, up on stage, alert, a little on edge, waiting for the shaking and the rapid heart beat to start, and...it doesn't happen. No chance of drowsiness, no addictive potential, it just blocks the effects of adrenalin. DH uses it too on rare occasions. I don't know if this is what you use, but it is a well known use of this medication.
It is a prescription and it is inexpensive.
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12-17-2014, 10:13 PM
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#16
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Bushnell
Posts: 607
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I have been retired for 3 years. No problem relaxing, but if anything I could use a little more incentive to get out and meet new people. I love retirement but I will say it makes it very easy for me to settle back in my introversion and there are times I miss the social stimulation that came automatically in the workplace.
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12-17-2014, 11:30 PM
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#17
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spending the Kids Inheritance and living in Chicago
Posts: 17,012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by truenorth418
I have been retired for 3 years. No problem relaxing, but if anything I could use a little more incentive to get out and meet new people. I love retirement but I will say it makes it very easy for me to settle back in my introversion and there are times I miss the social stimulation that came automatically in the workplace.
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Being new at ER, I have come to realize I'm too relaxed, I have things to do and I'm not doing them. Even though I have much more time available.
Its nice, but not productive.
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12-18-2014, 02:02 AM
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#18
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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Yes.
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12-18-2014, 04:33 AM
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#19
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
I am an introvert in a job where I have to behave like an extrovert much of the time. For this reason, I have anxiety much of the time due to work. It's hard to relax during the work week, because there is always a speech around the corner, an event to host or a deadline to meet. I'm looking at 2015 to retire and wonder if once you're retired, does the social anxiety and inability to relax go away pretty quickly? I sure hope so.
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In the same situation. The replies in this thread has been encouraging and gives me hope that when I retire or get laid off (hopefully in 2015) it will get better. It has been very hard to wake up in the morning and force myself to go to work for the past year or so.
Hopefully my next anxiety will not be due to acquiring affordable health insurance and having enough funds due to retiring early.
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12-18-2014, 06:11 AM
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#20
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 11,318
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I am not an introvert but I did do a lot of public speaking at work and invariably suffered a fair amount of stage fright before I would "go on." It always passed rather quickly and I was viewed as a good speaker but what a PITA. That anxiety disappeared after ER although it has popped back up for a couple of eulogies and other social speaking requirements since.
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Idleness is fatal only to the mediocre -- Albert Camus
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