Originally Posted by aggie76
My question to ya'll. How many of you have been "retired in a manner not of your choosing ? How LONG did it take to get over the ANGER and the SHAME ! Did long before you got out of your morning FUNK when you get up and realize that for the FIRST time since EVER ( I've worked or been in a classroom ALL my life) you have nothing you have to do ?
I've been ER'd about a year. Left a j*b I hated for the last few years, but it was going downhill for several years. It was an engineering & manufacturing gig, with tons of outsourcing and off-shoring. I spent my career training my replacements. I saw this starting 2 decades ago when I started as a college kid and the old-timers, guys in their 50's, get canned. It was ugly and I was determined not to undergo their fate, and I started saving & planning for an exit in my 50's.
Fast forward two decades and the political BS, formerly the purview of upper management, now infiltrated the everyday lives of even the working folks. I reached my savings target and jumped out before being thrown out. A severance package would have been nice, but there is something to be said for determining my own destiny. Hard to put a price on that...
As to your question, even a year later I feel some amount of anger and residual shame about the "could have, should have". Still a bit angry about the unnecessary crap I endured. Still regret that I didn't handle it better... Still have nightmares about w*rk almost weekly. I'm gradually healing and learning to be good to myself and those I love a little more each week. It's a process I expect to take years, maybe longer.
The good news is that I have started the healing journey and you and many here have too, although it may not seem like it at this early and painful stage.
As to the second part of the question, I have remained just as focussed and goal-oriented in retirement as I did when w*rking. This gives me purpose and "something to do". I have longer range goals (cost reduction, tax efficiency, ACA subsidy maximization, estate planning), mid range goals (yearly budget, safe withdrawal rate, learning to weld, greater involvement at church), and daily goals (Thai food tonight!). These are all written down with deadlines and schedules, just like at w*rk. This may be too much for some folks, but it works for me. Living well is my new full-time job! I hope that you too may learn to discover where you want to be and learn to get there over time.