Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Friendless in Seattle
Old 09-17-2007, 06:43 PM   #1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Friendless in Seattle

The Seattle Times: Pacific Northwest Magazine : Our Social Disease

Article about the famous cold politeness of Seattleites. Largely true, IMO, and it applies not only to Seattle but to all of Western Washington. Must be the cloudy skies.

My son had a cello teacher who came from New York. He had a great university job, plenty of girlfriends, but he was so lonely for social warmth he threw it all over and went back home. I hated to see him go; one of the nicest people that I had met since coming here umpteen years ago.

Ha
__________________

__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 09-17-2007, 06:46 PM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
twaddle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,378
One of the attributes I like about the area is that it has lots of opportunites for solitary pursuits. Running, biking, kayaking, hiking, or just exploring. Harder to do that in SF, for example.
__________________

__________________
twaddle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 06:57 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,408
Yep - grew up there, probably is the weather.

I turned into a gen-u-wine sweetie - right after I got the heck out of the PacNW.

My other half(from Philly) - back when I brought her to my 20th High School reunion in the old PacNW remarked:

"What's wrong with these people?"

She never went to another one - and let me know about it - more than once.

I went to my 45th in 2006 and fell instantly into the 'distant chill mode' - some habits never leave you.

heh heh heh - that was normal where I grew up.
__________________
unclemick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 08:09 PM   #4
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
packrat44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: near Canadian border and near Mexican border
Posts: 1,142
Agree totally. I always figured it was due to all the Californians moving into western WA. People in eastern WA through ID and MT are much friendlier. Living in Seattle and work go hand-in-hand - I don't intend to partake in either of them again.
__________________
Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
packrat44 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 08:26 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by packrat44 View Post
Agree totally. I always figured it was due to all the Californians moving into western WA. People in eastern WA through ID and MT are much friendlier. Living in Seattle and work go hand-in-hand - I don't intend to partake in either of them again.
I don't think Californians caused it. I was here before that influx began. If anything, they improved the place by being generally more outgoing and sunny.

Historically who peopled the coastal NW? Indians, Scandinavian loggers and fishermen, and Yankees from New England. Add some East Asians along the way. None of these folks are exactly party animals, at least before the hooch comes out of the bag.

I second your point about east of the Cascades being friendly- and as best I can see the friendliness lasts all he way across the Dakotas. (Could be farther, I've never really been all the way across the northern tier.) For example Spokane is a fairly big city, but nevertheless quite friendly.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Scandinavian loggers? sounds like a fun bunch!
Old 09-17-2007, 08:29 PM   #6
gone traveling
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,036
Scandinavian loggers? sounds like a fun bunch!

Lumberjack Song

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.

Mounties : He's a lumberjack, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch.
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.


Mounties: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch.
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And has buttered scones for tea.

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (
He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

I cut down trees. I skip and jump.
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars.

Mounties
: He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars?!

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (
He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear Mama (
or Papa in later versions)


Mounties
: He cuts down trees. He wears high heels,
Suspendies, and a bra?!

Chorus : I'm (He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (
He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

Yes, I'm (
He's) a lumberjack, and I'm (he's) ok-a-y.
I (
He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
__________________
honobob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 03:01 AM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 5,072
I believe there is a bit of that anywhere someone goes if they are a transplant. Some cities are full of transient business people (look at Atlanta)... that makes it a bit easier, everybody is looking to make friends.


I moved around a bit in my early years and worked in a number of areas. It seems to me that it usually takes about 6 - 12 months to get a foothold and make a few friends (more than just casual acquaintances). There is a bit of an art to it. It can take a little work. The older one gets, the more difficult it becomes. Let's face it, most of us were probably much more active socially at 20 than at 50.
__________________
chinaco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 07:04 AM   #8
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 93
I agree with it taking some time to break into already established patterns. We moved to Raleigh and it took me a full 2 years to reestablish social groups and friends. Almost everyone was from somewhere else and still feeling transient.

Perhaps with transients, it is hard to make friends because the relationship can be severed by moving again. Which is just what happened to us.

Good experience and now we have decided to stay put in retirement and enjoy the relationships we have developed.
__________________
sweetana3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 07:06 AM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
wildcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lou-evil
Posts: 2,025
I have heard the same is true for Portland, OR.
__________________
"These walls are kind of funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, gets so you depend on them"
wildcat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 09:33 AM   #10
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,408
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
I have heard the same is true for Portland, OR.
Nay nay! - Portland was the party capital of the world - in the late 50's early 60's compared to anything else around - until you hit Frisco.

Of course - I was a tad younger in 1959.

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
__________________
unclemick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 06:33 PM   #11
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 116
My wife and I recently relocated to a new area. Being almost 40, DINKS, with no plans for kids, and not not really church goers, makes it real hard to make new friends. I had friends around DC to eat lunch with mainly from work. My new office hasn't had any new people in years and they are a tight knit group weary of the outsider.

It seems all the people our age are having babies or have a few kids. Most of them talk about their playgroups or what wonderful things their children are doing.

I will say many people are friendly around here (east coast) but without kids and since we're not trying to keep up with the Jones' sometimes it seems hard to fit in. My wife and I say sometimes it's easier for us to get along with older people.
__________________
Gworker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 07:45 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gworker View Post
I will say many people are friendly around here (east coast) but without kids and since we're not trying to keep up with the Jones' sometimes it seems hard to fit in. My wife and I say sometimes it's easier for us to get along with older people.
Married couples divide into DINKS and those with kids. Even keeping old friends once you are in different camps can be very hard.

It's like a divorced woman trying to stay friends with her married friends. Can happen, but not very easy.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 07:51 PM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
twaddle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,378
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
It's like a divorced woman trying to stay friends with her married friends. Can happen, but not very easy.
That's a tough one on the friends too. "Oh, hi! Sorry to hear that my buddy, your former DH, slept with that sweet young thang, and, errhm, the resulting screw up in your life and the kids'." I have trouble getting past the "Oh, hi!" bit, and then I slink off.
__________________
twaddle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 07:59 PM   #14
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
ladelfina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,713
Maybe it is something spreading across the US. I remember growing up in NE, where people never gushed, but were always kind and civil. My sis (now in CT) recounts a sad story of her little 4-y.o. daughter going up to some other moms at the bus stop and saying "Hi" and "Scuse me.. scuse me" and the ladies completely ignoring her. The little kid sez now: "No one likes me!" and "Mommy, why don't they ever smile?"

Even though there are many other families with kids in the neighborhood, when I've visited (for several days) it's like a neutron bomb went off. Everyone is inside, all the time. Sis has no neighborhood friends after 2 years. The friendliest person is a lady who does nothing but complain how poor she is while walking to the school bus stop looking at mail-order catalogs, and recounting her deep sacrifice of having to forego the purchase of a Talbots hairband. (Basically, a nut.)
__________________
ladelfina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 08:34 PM   #15
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladelfina View Post
Maybe it is something spreading across the US. I remember growing up in NE, where people never gushed, but were always kind and civil.
Uh... what part of the NE are you referring to?

Half-kidding, but my observation was that more folks in the NE were pretty blunt and direct, while superficial civility prevailed in the south. The west and midwest were, predictably, more of a hybrid.

In real life I pay little heed to these stereotypes but the contrasting impressions we have of the NE struck me. I'd add that my NE years were with family of modest means and few social connections. It may have been a socioeconomic thing.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2007, 09:10 PM   #16
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,323
This has been talked about a number of times regarding the chilliness of the people in the Pacific NW, especially Seattle. The people are friendly enough, but there are no get-togethers or closeness with others they say.
You can find a number of these discussions on the city-data.com board on the Washington Board. Take a look if you are interested.
__________________
Orchidflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2007, 07:27 PM   #17
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Largo
Posts: 1,945
I flew back home to Seattle last weekend for the Ohio State-UW football game (am I a traitor if I didn't attend the UW?). After the game, 4 couples and I got together for a wonderful party of good food, loud music, a little pool, and great wine at a beautiful home on Lake Washington. The natives appeared very friendly to me and a great time was had by all! All of us were born and raised in Seattle.
__________________
Buckeye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2007, 10:39 PM   #18
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
calmloki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Independence
Posts: 5,459
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orchidflower View Post
This has been talked about a number of times regarding the chilliness of the people in the Pacific NW, especially Seattle. The people are friendly enough, but there are no get-togethers or closeness with others they say.
You can find a number of these discussions on the city-data.com board on the Washington Board. Take a look if you are interested.
What chilliness? We have good neighbors - run each other to the hospital or share tools or a car as needed, get together and fix an old man's roof maybe, feed each other's cats, share keys with some... but the best neighbors don't get in my space and i don't get in theirs. Have no desire to go to coffee klatches or play bridge or gossip or fix cars together. Druther not see anyone unless i need to. Is that chilly?
__________________
calmloki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2007, 11:13 PM   #19
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Quote:
Originally Posted by calmloki View Post
. but the best neighbors don't get in my space and i don't get in theirs. Have no desire to go to coffee klatches or play bridge or gossip or fix cars together. Druther not see anyone unless i need to. Is that chilly?
You sound like a good neighbor of the "good fences make good neighbors" variety. All that matters is that it works for you, and it sounds like it does.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-19-2007, 11:35 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 7,408
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckeye View Post
I flew back home to Seattle last weekend for the Ohio State-UW football game (am I a traitor if I didn't attend the UW?).
Yes! Lyle Lovett had a song about that - most people thought he really meant Texas like he sang - but those of us who understand consipiracy know what he 'really' meant.

Having lived for six years in Seattle back in the sixties - going back for a weekend is about as long as I could stand. My ding dong Sister is trying to convince to at least try living in Kent(south of Seattle) for a while. Hoo Ha - I'd rather drink 3.2 beer in Ballard.

I'll continue to visit the PacNW once in a while and watch people struggle to be 'friendly and nice' for a while - but I was 26 before I realized Yakima wasn't back east and Spokane WAS NOT a suburb of New York City.

How ya gonna keep em down on the farm after they've see Paree!

You're gonna get get me back to Seattle after I've been to New Orleans!

Kansas City - maybe.

heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh
__________________

__________________
unclemick is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dreaming of Affordability/ER in Seattle Fool_working Hi, I am... 16 06-16-2007 04:43 PM
Suggestions for things to do --Seattle/Vancouver area janeeyre Life after FIRE 31 02-27-2007 08:33 AM
Parking in Seattle TromboneAl Other topics 3 10-17-2006 08:10 PM
Seattle Ed_The_Gypsy Other topics 26 07-11-2006 08:43 AM
Seattle area health insurance emilyl FIRE and Money 2 09-13-2005 03:24 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:34 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.