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Old 02-07-2011, 03:32 PM   #141
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I've posted here about our spendy friends. To give you a feeling :

  • 1.2 million-dollar-house
  • All the lights are on all the time
  • Three huge HDTVs -- Two are next to one another for watching multiple football games at once
  • Lavish parties with prime rib and turkey -- enough food for 5 x the number of guests
He's a lawyer and she is a court reporter -- they work hard all the time.

Anyway, I just heard that they are selling their expensive house and downsizing.
I bet you'll miss those parties! Could you and Lena have had an influence on them? You two manage to have lots of fun while living a modest life.
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Old 02-07-2011, 04:29 PM   #142
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I bet you'll miss those parties! Could you and Lena have had an influence on them? You two manage to have lots of fun while living a modest life.
I'm not much of a party person. Lena says she doesn't think our example has any influence, but who knows? I know that they work very hard and don't enjoy it. He commutes to San Francisco often. He also plays the slots at a local casino -- "but he's good at it, and usually wins" says his wife.
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Old 02-07-2011, 04:38 PM   #143
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Considering sibling differences... when in my twenties a friend exposed me to investing and LBYM. I got into it, read books, did research etc.

In the same situation, my sister, who shares the frugal genes, would never do that research or "get into it." More recently, I worked on explaining how she was wasting money on a financial adviser. She just couldn't quite see it.

I think that explains part of the difference between us.
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Old 02-07-2011, 04:59 PM   #144
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Originally Posted by TromboneAl View Post
I've posted here about our spendy friends. To give you a feeling :

  • 1.2 million-dollar-house
  • All the lights are on all the time
  • Three huge HDTVs -- Two are next to one another for watching multiple football games at once
  • Lavish parties with prime rib and turkey -- enough food for 5 x the number of guests
He's a lawyer and she is a court reporter -- they work hard all the time.

Anyway, I just heard that they are selling their expensive house and downsizing.
Maybe they won't need those huge TVs anymore, and you could pick one up cheap.
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Old 02-07-2011, 05:09 PM   #145
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The marshmallow test has been repeated, and while I can't find the reference right now, the funniest kid was one who actually sucked out the center so it looked as if it was still intact to get another one.

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Old 02-07-2011, 05:16 PM   #146
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The marshmallow test has been repeated, and while I can't find the reference right now, the funniest kid was one who actually sucked out the center so it looked as if it was still intact to get another one.
Here it is

Joachim de Posada says, Don't eat the marshmallow yet | Video on TED.com
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:26 PM   #147
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Their jealousy is not your problem. It's your sibling(s) problem. No amount of "economic outpatient care" (hat tip to The Millionaire Next Door) will remove it until they're willing to admit that their financial situation is a direct result of the choices they've made over many years. Perhaps they'll come to their senses in time to do something about it. Otherwise, they're in for a rude awakening when retirement comes. By that time (and having unsuccesfully convinced you to share) they'll start laying a guilt trip on their successful children to take care of them in their old age.
Couldn't agree more with what you are saying here, Mr. Gatsby.

Although I hope I'm wrong about this, in the case of my extended family I doubt that my siblings will have any "successful children" to hit up for money. The children to this point are every bit as free-spending as their parents.

It was not like that with ME: My mother's spendthrift ways virtually bankrupted the family and were a major inspiration for me to be as unlike her as possible. And my father agreed, as he eventually divorced her (in large part over her improvident spending) and then spent several years repairing his financial standing as an individual (unmarried to her). He was born in Appalachia and today owns two homes free and clear. She was petit bourgeois (although she would not know what that means), always looked down her nose at him, and today has trouble paying the rent. How very superior....

My wife, bless her heart, is every bit as frugal as I am: That we happen to be married to one another is no accident.

But my siblings married and remarried spouses who have the same ghetto mentality that they have -- spend every penny that comes in the door, the minute it appears -- and their children have basically been brought up to believe that being broke is normal while creating financial comfort is "Republican" (anathema in their world) and Scrooge-like. The "children" have borrowed a hundred thousand dollars per child to attend incredibly lackluster colleges and universities where they seem to major in surfing.

I wish I could say I'm making this up. But I'm not.
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:37 PM   #148
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The marshmallow test
The experiment showed that those who waited were more successful. However, there was nothing in that experiment that showed that teaching the kids to wait, or teaching them to understand "No" would make them more successful. That's what the video so glibly stated.

BTW, whenever we have crab, Jenny always collects all the crab meat until she's done shelling it, and eats it at the end. Not me.
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:47 PM   #149
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The experiment showed that those who waited were more successful. However, there was nothing in that experiment that showed that teaching the kids to wait, or teaching them to understand "No" would make them more successful. That's what the video so glibly stated.
Al, if you check my post the only thing I commented on was the kid who ate out the inside to fool the testers, and I loved his comment that she probably turned out to be a banker. I just thought it was funny video.

I agree that the video did not speculate that self control could be taught.
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Old 02-07-2011, 07:10 PM   #150
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The videos are adorable, Alan--and the outcomes aren't that those who could not delay gratification had trouble later, just that the one out of three who could delay it were later successful based on the following up the original experiment. Probably many of the children who could not wait also turned out to be successful.

In the first video Alan posted, there are identical twins. One could wait, the other could not. Interesting that in spite of having the exact same upbringing and a very limited number of variables in their lives at that age, they are still quite different.
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Old 02-07-2011, 07:55 PM   #151
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My wife, bless her heart, is every bit as frugal as I am: That we happen to be married to one another is no accident.
As is mine. She clips coupons, loves shopping in the grocery store, gets excited about a bargain (even a little one), etc.... Coincidentally, she happens to be a very successful financial advisor/planner with one of the big investment houses (she was my financial advisor/planner before I married her ).

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But my siblings married and remarried spouses who have the same ghetto mentality that they have -- spend every penny that comes in the door, the minute it appears -- and their children have basically been brought up to believe that being broke is normal while creating financial comfort is "Republican" (anathema in their world) and Scrooge-like.
The problem is that many people believe that being financially-conservative = Republican. I know plenty of people who are multi-millionaires and are die-hard liberal Democrats. They're also VERY cognizant of their spending and how their money is invested.

Quote:
The "children" have borrowed a hundred thousand dollars per child to attend incredibly lackluster colleges and universities where they seem to major in surfing.
Then they'll also be in for a very rude awakening. Mom and Dad won't be able to help them repay their loans, and their loans aren't dischargable in bankruptcy anymore.
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:10 PM   #152
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Coincidentally, she happens to be a very successful financial advisor/planner with one of the big investment houses (she was my financial advisor/planner before I married her ).
Hey, y'all--Jay MARRIED his financial planner!

That is a great story and I agree with you that people are/aren't financially savvy and no amount of leading them to water will make them drink our brand of frugal koolaid.
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:20 PM   #153
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He also plays the slots at a local casino -- "but he's good at it, and usually wins"
This sounds like someone who only reports results when they are favorable.
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:43 PM   #154
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Hey, y'all--Jay MARRIED his financial planner!

That is a great story and I agree with you that people are/aren't financially savvy and no amount of leading them to water will make them drink our brand of frugal koolaid.
I figured that being a financial planner, she was pretty good with money - her own and money belonging to other people. Didn't hurt that she was very cute (still is).
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:46 PM   #155
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Eversince I retired early, I have friends asking me to share on my financial planning and how I was able to pull the plug early. In turn they share their situations with me. Once of them is in her mid forties and still live from paycheck to paycheck with very little savings though she takes lavish holidays and eat at expensive restaurants and drink wine that costs USD100 a bottle. After our talk, she seemed more serious about retirement planning - hopefully. Another golf friend told me she currently uses USD15,000 PER MONTH! This is money just for herself - no dependents. She thinks the best she can do is reduce to USD12,000 per month. Well, at least she got a number in mind which is a good first step.

I stay away from people who have no financial responsibility to themselves. Relatives are a bit different - you can't part with them and good thing my siblings are generally financially responsible.
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Old 02-08-2011, 09:03 AM   #156
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Eversince I retired early, I have friends asking me to share on my financial planning and how I was able to pull the plug early. In turn they share their situations with me. Once of them is in her mid forties and still live from paycheck to paycheck with very little savings though she takes lavish holidays and eat at expensive restaurants and drink wine that costs USD100 a bottle. After our talk, she seemed more serious about retirement planning - hopefully. Another golf friend told me she currently uses USD15,000 PER MONTH! This is money just for herself - no dependents. She thinks the best she can do is reduce to USD12,000 per month. Well, at least she got a number in mind which is a good first step.

I stay away from people who have no financial responsibility to themselves. Relatives are a bit different - you can't part with them and good thing my siblings are generally financially responsible.
Simply amazing. It's funny how "wants" are now considered "necessities".
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Old 02-08-2011, 09:52 AM   #157
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Hey, y'all--Jay MARRIED his financial planner!

That is a great story and I agree with you that people are/aren't financially savvy and no amount of leading them to water will make them drink our brand of frugal koolaid.

Probably just wanted to get discounted advice
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Old 02-08-2011, 09:55 AM   #158
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Eversince I retired early, I have friends asking me to share on my financial planning and how I was able to pull the plug early. In turn they share their situations with me. Once of them is in her mid forties and still live from paycheck to paycheck with very little savings though she takes lavish holidays and eat at expensive restaurants and drink wine that costs USD100 a bottle. After our talk, she seemed more serious about retirement planning - hopefully. Another golf friend told me she currently uses USD15,000 PER MONTH! This is money just for herself - no dependents. She thinks the best she can do is reduce to USD12,000 per month. Well, at least she got a number in mind which is a good first step.

I stay away from people who have no financial responsibility to themselves. Relatives are a bit different - you can't part with them and good thing my siblings are generally financially responsible.

Just a question on the second one... is she the one earning this amount of money And is that total spending or just on herself

It is amazing how much some people can spend without even trying...
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Old 02-08-2011, 10:06 AM   #159
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Probably just wanted to get discounted advice
As a matter of fact, I do get a discount. Mutual fund purchases are at NAV (net asset value) - no commission. I make it up to DW in other ways...
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Old 02-08-2011, 10:26 AM   #160
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As a matter of fact, I do get a discount. Mutual fund purchases are at NAV (net asset value) - no commission. I make it up to DW in other ways...
I could think of a few acronyms for NAV....how about "Naked And Virile".............
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