Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Giving up on all things that gives me stress ...
Old 11-20-2017, 12:27 PM   #1
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
robnplunder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,124
Giving up on all things that gives me stress ...

I have been retired for two years now and I have realized that I have given up (or trying very hard) on things that gives me stress. It includes things like following any sport team, staying away from family members who only call when they are in trouble, avoiding to go out during traffic ours, ... Instead, I pick activities, hobbies and interests which won't bring stress. Did this change happen to you soon after ER? Care to share?
__________________

__________________
Pura Vida
robnplunder is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-20-2017, 12:39 PM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Live And Learn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Tampa Bay Area
Posts: 1,689
Just about the same here. I did however over-volunteer at one point, doing things that I enjoyed. But to much of a good thing led to stress which led me to drop a couple of volunteer gigs.

I do think I see a negative impact of treated stress however. Lately my memory has been really really poor. I have to wonder if it it's because life has become "soft" (comfortable, stress free for the most part).
__________________

__________________
"For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." ~
Hebrews 12:11

ER'd in June 2015 at age 52. Initial WR 3%. 50/40/10 (Equity/Bond/Short Term) AA.
Live And Learn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 12:55 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Northern Kentucky
Posts: 8,597
The retirement decision was very deliberately based on getting away from stress. I've consciously avoided it ever since.
__________________
Pas de lieu Rhône que nous.
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 02:34 PM   #4
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,860
Quote:
Originally Posted by robnplunder View Post
I have been retired for two years now and I have realized that I have given up (or trying very hard) on things that gives me stress. It includes things like following any sport team, staying away from family members who only call when they are in trouble, avoiding to go out during traffic ours, ... Instead, I pick activities, hobbies and interests which won't bring stress. Did this change happen to you soon after ER? Care to share?
Absolutely! Although I still try to keep a little bit informed, I don't listen to the news as much any more as I used to because it stresses me out. If I start feeling stressed, I immediately stop whatever-it-is and play a video game called "Animal Crossing, New Leaf". This game is the most calming, peaceful, stress free game of all time, bar none, IMO.

I must admit that I played a prior version of this game after work during my last year of work, also, to help relieve work stress.
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 02:50 PM   #5
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
robnplunder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,124
Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Absolutely! Although I still try to keep a little bit informed, I don't listen to the news as much any more as I used to because it stresses me out.
I've disconnected Dish after 17 years of being a customer. If I have it, I watch CNN/Fox and other news which can stress me. I thought this was a bit extreme as I have very little clue what is going on out there. People'd mention some recent events and DW and I often go "huh?" I am almost tuned out from the reality in that sense.
__________________
Pura Vida
robnplunder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 02:56 PM   #6
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 770
Oh ya I do to but have a few things I'm still active in, it can causes stress if I let it. Lol

I'm a board of directors for a foundation and have work there that has to be done it goes along with the job. I said the other day to my wife I really don't need this in my life but it does give me pleasure and satisfaction what this foundation does for people. So I know what you are saying. LOL

Football is something you mentioned I to can get worked up over a stupid game which is just entertainment. I look at the NFL like it is a soap opera it has more drama and I laugh at it now because I don't have a dime in it. It I think I'm getting stressed I leave and head for my ranch. Lol
__________________
street is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 03:00 PM   #7
Moderator Emeritus
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 11,038
You betcha! Of course it is impossible to cut stress completely out of one's life, but I am doing my best. I don't avoid all stressors (like flying for example) because sometimes they may lead to great memories, but I really try to avoid all unnecessary stressful situations (like getting stuck in rush hour traffic when I could have avoided it or dealing with people who enjoy chaos and drama).
__________________
FIREd is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 03:08 PM   #8
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 49
Running away from all stress just lowers your sensitivity to what you find stressful.

I fully understand avoiding the news to avoid stress... I do it myself. But it needs to be balanced else as they say "Ignorance is bliss".
__________________
Spock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 03:26 PM   #9
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,528
Lack of stress is one of the best things about being retired. If it is stressful I don't do it.
__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 05:17 PM   #10
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 423
We do big social mixers at church weekly. I have mixed feelings. I do enjoy talking to some people, having the opportunity to see things from new and different viewpoints. I also support the church's overall mission. I just don't like big crowds, never have. It's very stressful sometimes!

On the other hand, I really love one-on-one or very small group mentoring, especially if good coffee or food is involved. I've found my new calling...

Still don't know what to do about the big social stuff. Mainly just tolerate it because it's such a big part of our community. I reward myself with a few days of personal creative time and just together time w/ DW.
__________________
Living the dream...
FreeBear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 05:24 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,103
Crowds give me great stress, always have. I think the most stressful thing we do these days is travel. Enjoy when we get there, but preparing, actually flying, airports, customs, needing to be aware of surroundings is all a stressor for me. Still go, but realize there are some pretty uncomfortable aspects of travel for me.

I'm with OP regarding avoiding being out when everyone else is. I like my life uncrowded.
__________________
H2ODude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 05:40 PM   #12
Recycles dryer sheets
truenorth418's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 483
There are studies that show eliminating the negative factors - commute, negative people, etc - is the key to happiness. I’m trying to do this too.
__________________
truenorth418 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 06:23 PM   #13
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 390
Good topic and I enjoy the comments.

It's interesting. I'm finding this is definitely becoming part of my life and it's not like anyone told me this is what I should do.

I understand one can go too far, but last week happened to be a week where I was just content to be at home. No billiards, table tennis, golf--just vegetating, loving my reading and being with my two doggies.

I get bemused watching others going to and fro making the world go round. I feel like I've jumped off the merry-go-round.
__________________
Elbata is offline   Reply With Quote
Stress is OUT for me!
Old 11-20-2017, 06:49 PM   #14
Moderator Emeritus
aja8888's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: The Woodlands, TX
Posts: 7,156
Stress is OUT for me!

I gave up watching televised news...all of it, any channel. I don't care if someone did something to someone else or that some politician got caught stealing of doing something immoral.

No Facebook....period!

I only hang out with friends that are in the league above (which is most of my ROMEO group.

The Houston Chronicle is no longer subscribed to.

My focus is taking care of DW, who is pretty much handicapped, and my hobbies which are auto related.
__________________
......."Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face." -- philosopher Mike Tyson.
aja8888 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 06:55 PM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 2,983
I've gradually gotten people I can't trust out of my life... that includes my first husband and a couple of former bosses. I tend to retreat rather than confront, but hey, at least I eventually come to my senses and get out. Life is so much easier when you don't have to try and figure out who's lying.

As others have noted, there are stressors after retirement, but you get to choose. I hate the TSA but flying is the most practical way to get to, say, Iceland or India, so I choose to deal with the TSA. OTOH, I can choose my volunteer activities and make sure they don't take over my life and quit if I find them too stressful. I left a church Finance Committee when we spent a lot of time worrying about keeping the doors open. I'd been through bad times with my spendthrift ex-husband and felt like I was re-living it even though my own finances were just fine. (Our priest found another post, we got a part-timer who costs a lot less and I'm back on the Committee.) I'm perfectly happy on the HOA Board but there are two genuinely nasty people in the neighborhood that I've dealt with and don't want to deal with again so I will never be HOA Board President.

I never did watch the news on TV. I do follow Internet news sites and podcasts but if they get too much into gloom and doom on a particular issue such as global warming, terrorism or depletion of natural resources, I stop listening. I want to be aware of issues but not to the extent I get depressed and worried about them.

It is good to have choices.
__________________
athena53 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 07:21 PM   #16
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: northern Michigan
Posts: 732
I also no longer watch the news or sports on tv. I still keep up with the news (the stuff that interests me, anyway), by just browsing the news sites on the web. I find that to be much less stressful. I gave up watching sports for many reasons, but the way it sometimes got me agitated was definitely one of them. Avoiding driving in traffic is definitely something that I do all the time. I do most of my shopping on weekdays only, and usually in the morning, to avoid the crowds. I'll go out of my way on a long trip to go around a bigger city, even if it takes a little longer. I definitely have less stress in my life since I retired.
__________________
RAE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 07:30 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,526
Same here. Facebook/twitter have unfollow/block features. This forum has the same (only 1 person on it I think).

Don't follow sports. Glimpse at news just to make sure we aren't in WW3 (get a daily update from The Economist which is enough).

Don't do family BS with a couple of people.

My most stressful thing in life is trying to plan next summer's vacation. A few weeks on a beach in the Caribbean (but the heat and the seaweed!)? Or Asia? Or S. America? Or stay at home for once?
__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 07:35 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Car-Guy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Citizen of Texas
Posts: 2,473
90% of my stress was left behind with megacorp when I retired. The things that stress me out today are insignificant in comparison to what I had when working.

Someone mentioned watching the news as stressful. I watch CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS or MSNBC when I want a good laugh and take very little they say seriously. To me they are not any better reporting the news than SNL or Bill Maher, all comedy.

Recently I quit watching football (expect for the Cowboys) because that was beginning to stress me a little.

I also realize that driving in big city traffic was very stressful. Avoid it whenever possible now.
__________________
Car-Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 09:11 PM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
robnplunder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,124
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spock View Post
Running away from all stress just lowers your sensitivity to what you find stressful.

I fully understand avoiding the news to avoid stress... I do it myself. But it needs to be balanced else as they say "Ignorance is bliss".

This is why I posted the thread to see if I am giving up too much to avoid any and all stress. A bit of stress may be healthy, no? DW and I get matched up when playing golf on weekends. I may be wearing a football hat and a guy may start saying "so and so is not playing well of late" and I'd have not idea what he is talking about. I feel awkward when that happens. For now, I don't let those bother me and continue to remove stress out of my life systematically.
__________________
Pura Vida
robnplunder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2017, 09:29 PM   #20
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by robnplunder View Post
This is why I posted the thread to see if I am giving up too much to avoid any and all stress. A bit of stress may be healthy, no? DW and I get matched up when playing golf on weekends. I may be wearing a football hat and a guy may start saying "so and so is not playing well of late" and I'd have not idea what he is talking about. I feel awkward when that happens. For now, I don't let those bother me and continue to remove stress out of my life systematically.
That's when you say "I honestly haven't been following football much lately. I spend a lot more time doing X. You ever done X? Pretty badas5 huh?"

That how I respond to sports small talk. That or the glazed look in my eyes and my inability to respond verbally tells them exactly how interested I am in sports. Speaking of which, I have to log off soon so I can practice that glazed look for Thanksgiving lunch at the in-laws (big sports fans of some east coast teams and I think they're still playing NFL football this time of year??)
__________________

__________________
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (5, 11, and 12).
FUEGO is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What gives you stress after ER? Moscyn Life after FIRE 55 04-23-2011 03:07 PM
Something positive: Charitable giving at an all time high REWahoo Other topics 0 06-25-2007 05:59 PM
62 year old gives birth cube_rat Other topics 9 02-20-2006 07:56 PM
Things own you; you don't own things - know what is want and a need dex Young Dreamers 21 10-26-2005 01:40 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:45 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.