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Old 08-02-2015, 03:10 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Koolau View Post

Any suggestions for this poor, wretched creature?
Got any nice commuter traffic ? on my worst days, it was about an hour on the way in ( 25 miles) and at 4 pm, 2 1/2 hours to home when leaving from some field assignments ( 35 miles).

3 1/2 hours of bumper to bumper traffic for an 8 hour work day. If that doesn't get somebody's mind right (like cool hand Luke) , he can't be helped.

2 mo in , quite normal, see how he is dong at 6 mo, then 1 year.

Even with the memory of the onerous commute, took me almost a year to fully adjust to retirement. I'm a slow learner .
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Old 08-02-2015, 03:15 PM   #22
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Some people need/want a lot of structure in their lives, and work provides structure-social/personal interaction-purpose for most people (including those who don't want structure-interaction-purpose 'imposed'). Nothing wrong with wanting structure, no better no worse, just unlike most here who prefer the ultimate flexibility of retirement.

Besides, I'd imagine it takes more than 2 months for anyone to adjust to retirement after many years at work.
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Old 08-02-2015, 03:17 PM   #23
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Thanks, Philliefan! (though I am a SF Giants fan...)
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Old 08-02-2015, 05:49 PM   #24
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I'm learning that the act of doing things is the value... Not the goal of the result.
+1

I think these are very wise words that are true in many circumstances.
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Old 08-02-2015, 06:13 PM   #25
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Maybe he is missing the actual work & the brain stimulation it provided? If this is the case maybe some p.t. consulting in his field would be perfect or p.t. work in a new field. After 6 months of full retirement I started to do some consulting & also teach a class at the university. For me it is the perfect balance. Most volunteer work is mind numbing so I can only do so much of that.
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Old 08-02-2015, 08:03 PM   #26
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How about SCORE or other organizations that have executives help small businesses?
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Old 08-02-2015, 11:31 PM   #27
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.......................

Any suggestions for this poor, wretched creature?
No, but a suggestion for you. NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!!
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Old 08-03-2015, 08:22 AM   #28
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He is the quintessential "people person".
I used to be, but people cured me of that...

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Originally Posted by nash031 View Post
The stolen saying goes, "When I get bored, I don't think 'I'll go to work!'"
+1
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Old 08-04-2015, 09:50 PM   #29
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No, but a suggestion for you. NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!!
Good point. But I DID make the mistake of asking him how he liked retirement. I think he thought I had some major insight into NOT being bored. I basically told him it was my nature not to be bored. Whether I'm "busy" with something or just doing nothing, it rarely occurs to me to be bored. I think it must be as others have suggested - an introvert thing. I like people, but rarely need them. YMMV
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Old 08-04-2015, 11:04 PM   #30
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Just an observation here, but maybe, just maybe he is depressed and just "going through the motions" in his new retired lifestyle.

That happened to me early on in retirement and DW sensed I was not "engaged" in actively doing things that were different from when I was working. Actually, I am not sure I am clear of that un-engaged feeling yet. I sometimes have the feeling that I really don't belong retired, even though that is not true.
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Old 08-04-2015, 11:11 PM   #31
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Full disclosure, I thought of depression. Never got the details, but I think my friend went through some sort of "crisis" several years back which may have been depression. I'm trying to be a good listener. I'm not trained and I certainly can't make someone else happy (except, DW, of course, heh, heh.) My hope is he will establish a new routine and find enough folks to help him through this time. I'm probably the worst person to suggest activities to him as I do not depend upon a huge list of activities to keep me sane. The total freedom of retirement is quite satisfying to me - not boring at all.
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Old 08-04-2015, 11:20 PM   #32
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How about SCORE or other organizations that have executives help small businesses?

I have been a SCORE counselor for 5 years, and it does make life more fulfilling to assist, mentor & guide those looking for advice and counseling.

I am also an adjunct professor at the business school of a local University, teaching mid career adults one evening a week.

Other faith-based charitable/volunteer activity, together with the above, keep my retired life quite busy and stimulating.
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Old 08-05-2015, 07:11 PM   #33
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Koolau,
I couldn't help noticing you live on Oahu. I'll assume your bored, retired banker friend lives there also. How many beaches has he visited on Oahu, Maui, Kauai and Hawaii? If he went to a different beach week, sometimes with his family and grand kids, I think he'd be happily occupied for the next few years.
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Old 08-05-2015, 07:28 PM   #34
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Koolau,
I couldn't help noticing you live on Oahu. I'll assume your bored, retired banker friend lives there also. How many beaches has he visited on Oahu, Maui, Kauai and Hawaii? If he went to a different beach week, sometimes with his family and grand kids, I think he'd be happily occupied for the next few years.
Heh, heh. Unfortunately, he lives in the midwest where I have been visiting the past couple of months. I don't think he is a "beach" person anyway. But your point is still valid. There are MANY places to go and lots to see on the mainland - one of the reasons I return each year. BUT my friend doesn't have trouble keeping busy. He just is not enjoying his current "busyness." I am coming to believe he needs more social stimulation (IOW he IS a people person and has lost his easy access to people since retiring.) While I'm an off-the-chart introvert, I believe he is an off-the-chart extrovert. I actually look for him to find some sort of w*rk which will bring him into contact with lots of people.
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