Had to keep my mouth shut last night...

[rodi]

I went to a party with a bunch of former coworkers last night. The hostess has been asking me questions about ER and what the processes are, etc over the last few weeks/months. Another friend has been asking me questions about healthcare options when you retire, etc...

Turns out the hostess gave her notice earlier this week. Her boss (one of my former bosses, and a friend and attendee at the party) asked her not to tell anyone. (Which to me is rude and doesn't let her share her news, get the going away lunch, etc.)

The other friend hasn't given notice - but her husband was opening talking about her quitting soon - a few people overheard.

I had so many people tell me how happy I looked... I replied it was because I no longer had to go to work!!!!

 

[Walt34]

Sometimes it is hard to keep from gloating.

 

[kcowan]

I was talking to my cousin about BIL and his purchase of a 2nd home in Scottsdale at a family party. Her husband was the boss of BIL and offered him an unpublished early retirement package within a month! So retired at 56!

 

[splitwdw]

Maybe you're keeping your mouth shut but obviously everyone else is talking. Your one friend told you (and probably others) she's retiring and the other friend's husband is telling all.

 

[rodi]

Actually - the hostess told me and asked for advice (before the party). No one at the party accept her husband, her boss, and myself knew she'd given notice. (I kept my mouth shut at her request).

For the other friend - again, she's been asking for advise for a while and I kept my mouth shut... I don't think she knew her husband was blabbing...

 

[MichaelB]

I had so many people tell me how happy I looked... I replied it was because I no longer had to go to work!!!!

I heard that same thing frequently over the first year or two after quitting my job, and usually gave the same response.

 

[pb4uski]

I was talking to my cousin about BIL and his purchase of a 2nd home in Scottsdale at a family party. Her husband was the boss of BIL and offered him an unpublished early retirement package within a month! So retired at 56!

Sounds like your BIL owes you a nice dinner for the assist.

 

[Dash man]

I was blabbing about retirement for about two years before I left and nobody believed me. I was amazed at how shocked they seemed when I gave official notice. The only two people who believed me, peers and not management, made their own plans to quit when I did. They were younger and found new jobs rather than FIRE. Management seemed totally caught off guard.

 

[Popeye]

I love it when retirement discussions start and people ask for your age.
"Oh 53, you've got a long way to go then." Thats when the little voice in my head says,"Not as long as you think!"

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

I just talked with my old boss who's still working. He asked me if I was working again or if I was on an extended vacation. I said no work for me and left it at that. I think all my ex co-workers never thought I could just quit for good when they can't.

 

[kcowan]

Sounds like your BIL owes you a nice dinner for the assist.

Yes but it was totally a surprise to both of us. Do I deserve reward for such a random event?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I was blabbing about retirement for about two years before I left and nobody believed me. I was amazed at how shocked they seemed when I gave official notice. The only two people who believed me, peers and not management, made their own plans to quit when I did. They were younger and found new jobs rather than FIRE.

Yeah, that's kinda how it rolled with me, as well. When I was getting frustrated with stuff, I would (at times) fly off the handle and say that I was leaving the rat race forever. Of course, everyone thought I was full of it (especially being as young as I was), which was OK for me. When I finally did "turn in my notice" (being military, it was a little different, you have to apply and then be approved), it shocked all my co-workers even though I had been bitching for quite a while. It was really entertaining...I had a particularly challenging day on the flight line, so I came in afterwards, filled out the application and "clicked the box". I then printed it out and gave it to my boss and told him he might be hearing from the his boss and then went home. It was one of the best days of my w*rking days!

Edit...ah...had to go back and relive that wonderful day. I had this image on my computer desktop until my last day!

 

[RobbieB]

I went to a Halloween party with my girlfriend Saturday and I was the only retired person there. Yup, the usual "what do you do"?

I thought I had company when another guy said he retired from engineering, but then he added that he was now teaching at a tech school.

Dunno. Me thinks lots of people are actually scared to retire, maybe that's why they don't plan for it?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Dunno. Me thinks lots of people are actually scared to retire, maybe that's why they don't plan for it?

I think you are onto something. Whenever the discussion with my friends/peer group (all early to mid 40's in age) turn to retirement, they really just *assume* it will happen. There seems to be very little planning and almost zero execution. I understand procrastination and all (especially since I am the worst at it!) but when it comes to retirement planning, procrastination is a terrible idea!

 

[Teacher Terry]

I think her boss is wrong to tell her not to tell others. People like to say goodbye. I fell into working after retiring. I had never taught but an opportunity to teach at the college level fell into my lap 7 months in and 4 years later you could not pull it from my cold, dead hands. I teach online from anywhere which is perfect.

 

[Danmar]

I started discussing retirement with my boss about 3 years in advance as it took that long to find my replacement and bring her up to speed. She was aware of the timing but did not disclose. Announcement made a couple of months before the actual date which was extended a couple of times. I think people must have suspected I was retiring based on my engagement level, especially near the end. Seems like a long time ago.

 

[Scuba]

I love it when retirement discussions start and people ask for your age.

"Oh 53, you've got a long way to go then." Thats when the little voice in my head says,"Not as long as you think!"

+1
I'm 56, just announced my ER, and people are amazed.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[bclover]

I went to a Halloween party with my girlfriend Saturday and I was the only retired person there. Yup, the usual "what do you do"?

I thought I had company when another guy said he retired from engineering, but then he added that he was now teaching at a tech school.

Dunno. Me thinks lots of people are actually scared to retire, maybe that's why they don't plan for it?

That doesn't surprise though Robbie. First, I think our country gives the absurd lesson that if one isn't "working" one is worthless. As a society I find we measure prestige, self worth by what we do on the job.
Studies have shown Americans routinely, don't take vacations and now thanks to technology even when we do take a vacation some type of work is being done.

The saddest thing i saw this year, I was on "it's a small world" at Disney with my nephews, guy in front of me was yammering on his cell phone while his two kids where bouncing up and down trying to get him to engage. and yes, he was loud enough that we knew the phone conversation.

So know you have Joe, everyman who has been told for 50+ years that work=good, no work= lazy slob, that can take some getting use to. ESPECIALLY if you retire young. I still get the "are you looking for another job" question.

Next, I know for in my case, it took me a while to get use to the idea that I wouldn't have a check coming in. I mean hey, this girl has worked since my first job as a camp counselor 40 years ago. lol It still a little nerve wracking when I see a balance go down. probably because it always seems to be easier to spend it than to save it. I've done very good preparations and done 100's of spending analogies that all say "you'll be good, as long as you forget about the Tahitian pool boy" and still there are days where I worry.

 

[48Fire]

Some people love to work, some people need to work, and some people don't have the guts to quit and not work. I don't fall in to any of those categories

 

[Souschef]

Some people love to work, some people need to work, and some people don't have the guts to quit and not work. I don't fall in to any of those categories

+100! Neither do I

 

[Winemaker]

Some people love to work, some people need to work, and some people don't have the guts to quit and not work. I don't fall in to any of those categories

I have a very dear friend, a single mom, who works as a waitress 4 nights a week, but less than 32 hours. College educated, hard worker, but made a few mistakes along the way. I got her an interview at a local business, which she passed with flying colors, and was offered a job 40+ hours a week @ $15.00/hr, with medical, 401k on the spot.

She declined; she had previously showed me her finances. With her job, the baby's father medical plan, the aid to infants, and increased cost of child care, she would need $19.10/ hour to "break even".

So there are also folks that want to work, but it doesn't pay to work.

She recently did find a job, starting at $20.00/hour.

 

[brucethebroker]

Some are very indoctrinated in their career choice. My first job was teaching high school. When I quit (4 years later), to go into the insurance business, my Principal looked at me blankly and said "but what are you going to DO?". Like there was no life outside teaching. I have no doubt he retired after 40 years on the job.

 

[Danmar]

I think one's attitude towards work changes over time. I loved my career when I started and for quite a while after. But eventually most people get tired of it. Wise not to wait until you get tired of work to start planning for retirement as it can come on pretty suddenly.

 

[Greencheese]

This whole working after your "retire" or never actually completely stopping work seems to coincide with the introduction of defined contribution retirement plans. Has the culture really changed or are so many people unable to retire as they get older that they keep tellings themselves and everyone else its better to always work in some form? More of a denial and refusal to admit you can't have what you want than people really wanting to work if you ask me.

 

[harley]

I went to a Halloween party with my girlfriend Saturday and I was the only retired person there. Yup, the usual "what do you do"?

Interesting. I got that a lot when I FIREd at 50, but now that I'm 60 I think at least half the people I know are retired. Some are older, but many are my age. On my camping trip last weekend there was only one worker out of 6 campers. I don't do a lot of random socialization, so maybe mine is a outlier group. But I also don't get the "you're too young to be retired" anymore either. At least not too often.