Handling the "just one more year..." syndrome

[Martha]

Sure, there is no bar to discriminating against potential employees that have parents who interfer in their job hunt. I would find it weird and not hire the person.

 

[Outtahere]

But what if somehow they were hired and THEN the mother/parent started those kinds of things, could you release that employee?

 

[Martha]

Why not? Employment at will, after all.

(Of course, even if the law in on your side, mommy will then try to get her daughter to sue on some trumped up bs. Personally, I would give the daughter a warning and tell her she has to get the mother to stop or she is outtahere.)

 

[Outtahere]

We've learned the hard way that employee "at will" means nothing, at least here in Mass. And you're right about the trumped up charges.

 

[Nords]

So then she will get on the phone and give the daughter's BOSS an earful!
I just can't believe that people tolerate that.

I think the boss made the mistake of taking the call in the first place...

 

[Andre1969]

Well, most companies do have a telephone usage policy. Seems to me that could be exercised to put a stop to it. What I'd probably end up doing if I were the supervisor and the mother kept bugging me would be to just hang up on her. And if it kept happening, just hang up again. Or maybe just pick up the phone and then let her start talking and then set it down.

I used to do that with my ex-wife when she'd irritate me at work. Also is fun to do with telemarketers ;-)

 

[Sheryl]

Got metrics?

Not that I'm a great believer in numbers, but I found it interesting to apply weighted ratings to factors that affect my decision to retire, semi-retire, or continue working my full-time job. I took ten discriminators that affect my personal happiness (time with family, financial security, challenging projects, physical fitness, ability to travel, etc) and weighted them 1 to 3 in importance. I then scored each of these with 0, half, or one point, against how achievable these are in either retirement, semi-retirement, and full-time employment.

After adding up the numbers, it seems I would be 150% as happy semi-retired than working full-time, and 233% as happy FIREd as working full-time.

Hi Flog -
I thought this was an interesting idea when you posted about it awhile back so I tried to create my own scoresheet.    It was interesting, but for me everything seemed to boil down to just a couple common denominators - of the ten or so things that were happiness factors, almost all involved having enough time for something (excercise, travel, being with friends and family, doing volunteer work)  or being more healthy, (which boiled down to time to excercise, and time to cook healthy meals).   

The only points that accrued to hapiness from work were fun/friendly interactions with other humans (I am a hermit unless forced out of the shell) and money to acheive the travel goals....

I think you had a good thought about happiness points accruing from challenging projects at work - but I think I can find that type of satisfaction outside work.  If in have the time.

Anyway, I didn't save the spreadsheet, but I quikly concluded that I'd be about 200% happier if I wasn't working!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

But what if somehow they were hired and THEN the mother/parent started those kinds of things, could you release that employee?

Hell yeah! I'd let the employee go home and talk to mommy directly from then on.

 

[Nords]

Well, most companies do have a telephone usage policy.  Seems to me that could be exercised to put a stop to it. 

During my working years, unless I was waiting on a callback, I almost never answered the phone and let voicemail handle it. The people talking to me in my office appreciated not being interrupted by phone calls (and wasted less time in the process) and most of the calls were routine notifications from people who didn't really want to talk to me anyway.

I had a boss who got lonely & whiny if I didn't answer my phone. He finally learned that I'd rather be out & about accomplishing his whims goals instead of tethered patiently by the phone waiting for his calls. But he was the kind of manager who hoped for the day that employees would have pagers surgically attached to their foreheads & bungee cords anchored to his desk.

People who just had to hear the sound of my voice learned to haul their butts out of their chairs and come to my office. For everything else there was e-mail.

Fairly early in my tour, I learned that if I heard an ambulance siren go by my office then I should quickly move over to the firefighting trainer.

 

[wallygator69]

Hi,

Another reason to break the "one more year syndrome cycle"...

Brother In law 53 years old, picture of health dropped dead on Monday morning of a heart attack. Picture of health, bike rider, golfer and all arounf hot ****.

Last 5 years he was semiretired, spent winters in Florida and had his own bussiness, doing construction, mostly additions all summer and busted his hump.

Was going to fully retire in another 2 years at 55.....No question he could have FIRE'd completely years ago.

Run away if you can....

Makes our decision to pack it in on September 30th all the easier.

First milestone appears to be on track..

We listed our house on the March 15th (Funny but we closed on it March 15th of 2004) and first person in the door is negotiating agressively and looks like a September closing is to there liking as well.

Thanks again for all the help.

Wally

 

[ScaredtoQuit]

This is a terrific thread. (Especially for newbies) Should be in the "Best of" section

 

[REWahoo]

This is a terrific thread. (Especially for newbies) Should be in the "Best of" section

Does this thread rise to the level that it should go into the "best of" section? What do others think?

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Its definitely a keeper. Its THE pivotal decision.

I'd have probably kept working had it not been for two things. First was my company paid 3 month sabbatical after 7 years of service. The old saw about a frog slowly heated in a pot of water not realizing the water was hot, but you throw a frog into a pot of already hot water, it'll realize it and jump back out. This frog never noticed how hot the water was until he spent 90 days relaxing outside of work. The sudden shock of being thrown back into the hot water was really eye opening.

I saw how much well accepted crap I dealt with daily. How much of the job stress existed and how much was self and organizationally created. How unproductive a lot of time spent was.

Not long after that the company offered an open invitation for anyone who wanted to accept a separation package - one years pay with benefits. Not long after that they sweetened the deal a little and I took it. Once I fended off attempts to talk me out of it, I walked.

I figured...free years paid vacation and since I burned no bridges...I can always go back. With an added bonus baby...all my stock options were underwater from the 2000 tech stock dive, and by leaving and waiting a year to return my options would all be repriced!

Three months later I ran the numbers 92 ways from sunday...figured out with a little finagling I didnt need to go back. And I didnt want to.

Now, if you LOVE your job, LOVE the way you do it and the people you do it with, been away from it for a while and had the chance to see it with a fresh perspective and still loved it, it pays great, its very rewarding, yada yada yada...maybe you oughta stay in school.

Otherwise...dont sweat it. If you were smart enough to get to the point where you could financially and emotionally consider walking away from work, you'll make it. You're smart enough to plan, improvise and succeed.

 

[LeatherneckPA]

DEFINITELY should go in the "Best of" section!

Reminds me of a mentality I see a lot at the prison,,,,,"I'm staying now just so I can tell them to kiss my @$$ and walk out when they p!$$ me off." Huh!?!? Personally I just think they are scared.

And then they wonder why Hollywood portrays us as abusive, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal sadists. It's simple, do your 20, hit age 50, and go home to live happily ever-after.

"So simple a caveman can do it."

 

[Moemg]

My late husband was always running the one more year calculations so he waited an extra four years to retire. He died suddenly two years later.
Enjoy life while you have the chance !

 

[Eagle43]

Its definitely a keeper. Its THE pivotal decision.

...
I saw how much well accepted crap I dealt with daily. How much of the job stress existed and how much was self and organizationally created. How unproductive a lot of time spent was.

Now, if you LOVE your job, LOVE the way you do it and the people you do it with, been away from it for a while and had the chance to see it with a fresh perspective and still loved it, it pays great, its very rewarding, yada yada yada...maybe you oughta stay in school.

Otherwise...dont sweat it. If you were smart enough to get to the point where you could financially and emotionally consider walking away from work, you'll make it. You're smart enough to plan, improvise and succeed.

Bingo. I never expected or planned to retire. Then one day I did. Once out, I realized that a huge percentage of the daily machinations were unnecessary and stressful. I could not imagine going back, and I am not one of the forum members who thinks w*rk is a bad word. In fact, I think the opposite. Just has to be the right kind, has to be productive. A lot of modern day corporate employees are trapped by golden handcuffs, daily doing pointless stuff, and they know it. Never leave a job if you love it. Why would you? Of course the reverse is true. Never stay at one you hate, if you have the means to move on.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

Very sorry for your loss, and that reminds me...

While I was evaluating my numbers on my years paid vacation, two guys I had worked with died. One was in his late 30's and discovered inoperable liver cancer shortly after the birth of his second daughter and was gone a few months later. The other discovered lung cancer a month after he followed my lead and retired...in his early 50's.

That sunk it for me.

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I am not one of the forum members who thinks w*rk is a bad word. In fact, I think the opposite. Just has to be the right kind, has to be productive.

Same here. I do all the house/car maintenance/repair/upgrades and those are 100% productive.

And if someone feels the need to do a little more? Have a baby. You'll have plenty to do. After chasing a two year old around the neighborhood all day I start reminiscing about going back to driving a desk for a measly 10 hours.

 

[USK Coastie]

Definately one of the "Best of " It was great to look at these posts. I've the same delima. Fire Calc success at 100% at 60, 97% at 59, 95 % at 58 and 60% today at 57. Looks like one more year

 

[genghis]

The reason for wanting to RE is that life is SHORT

In order to feel secure about RE planning, we need to assume life is LONG

No wonder we're so confused!

 

[kcowan]

The reason for wanting to RE is that life is SHORT

In order to feel secure about RE planning, we need to assume life is LONG

No wonder we're so confused!

I think you need to think of a quality life until age 85 or so in which you can do anything you want without any consideration of health. So if you are out at 50 you have 35 great years to play. Then another few years to mellow out.

I think people defer the decision because of fear:
1) I might outlive my money
2) I might not like it
3) I cannot turn back.

Think of the uncertainty we dealt with in our teens and twenties. It is only the job experience that reduced our desire for uncertainty (and maybe an improved appreciation of consequences).

In fact, maybe the whole RE decision is about accepting uncertainty?