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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 10:01 AM   #21
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by audreyh1
It's also amazing how physical activity can quiet the mind. I find yoga to be amazingly effective in this regard.
back in college my thinking tended to be a bit scattered, hardly centered. my buddhist monk-turned-publisher cousin told me that whenever i had trouble organizing my thoughts i should instead organize a drawer, a room, the house. that i could help control how i function internally by changing how i function on the outside.

my mother told me something similar. she said if i kept smiling, that eventually it would get inside.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 01:06 PM   #22
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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my mother told me something similar. she said if i kept smiling, that eventually it would get inside.
It works for me! And it drives some people crazy, too.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 02:20 PM   #23
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

It has been my observation that most people are about as happy as they decide to be. I can't always change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude about them and the face that I present to the world. I have found that if I am outwardly cheerful and positive over the course of the day, I will become happy even if I didn't wake up that way. And I have observed that people who constantly bitch and moan do nothing but compound their own unhappiness.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 03:05 PM   #24
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by Gumby
It has been my observation that most people are about as happy as they decide to be. I can't always change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude about them and the face that I present to the world. I have found that if I am outwardly cheerful and positive over the course of the day, I will become happy even if I didn't wake up that way. And I have observed that people who constantly bitch and moan do nothing but compound their own unhappiness.
AMEN!!!

I always present a happy/cheerful 'face' outwardly, and it does seem to work itself inward (IF for some odd reason I'm not already happy/cheerful inside already....which is seldom). I've also learned that if you present yourself as happy/cheerful, and you're around those who "constantly bitch and moan"....it drives them NUTZ!!! They HATE it!!! Therefore , they will try to avoid you, so they can remain unhappy! At least that's the way it is at w*ork.

I'm always the first one into w*rk in the morning....open the place up and unlock everything. When the GrumpMeister (the unhappiest of our "play" mates) come in, I ALWAYS greet him with a "GOOOOD MOOORNING!!!!!"....it irritates the h*ll out him and he 'flips me off' EVERY morning....but, MOST IMPORTANTLY it keeps him away from me ALL DAY!!!

I guess it goes back to what I learned 'a hundred years ago' in Sunday school.....light can ALWAYS over-power the darkness, but darkness can NEVER over-power light. I think happiness works the same way! IMHO .... .... .... .... .... ....
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 03:32 PM   #25
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

Thanks guys for all your suggestions and thanks for going to the trouble, much appreciated

Claire
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 08:06 PM   #26
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

In addition to all the good suggestions above, I think that happiness is not taking anything, yourself or what others do to you, seriously. When my grandfather was 51, the government took away his farm (his version of FIRE) and threw him in a prison camp along with the whole family, including my mom. They both never complained about it and when they were released, let go of the experience. It really has served as a guide of how to act for me as well as put my "problems" into perspective.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-07-2007, 08:27 PM   #27
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by bssc
In addition to all the good suggestions above, I think that happiness is not taking anything, yourself or what others do to you, seriously. When my grandfather was 51, the government took away his farm (his version of FIRE) and threw him in a prison camp along with the whole family, including my mom. They both never complained about it and when they were released, let go of the experience. It really has served as a guide of how to act for me as well as put my "problems" into perspective.
Japanese Interrment Centers in the U.SA. ?

Sad chapter in our history.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-08-2007, 01:47 AM   #28
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Japanese Interrment Centers in the U.SA. ?

Sad chapter in our history.
Yes, but the interesting thing was that it never made them sad. They figured that it would get straightened out in the end and it did. I think that my generation makes a bigger deal out of it. But my grandparents was what made them happy (and live to be 101 and 93 respectively).
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-08-2007, 11:28 AM   #29
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

Once a year I reread a book by Richard Carlson, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and its all small stuff." Sadly, the author (age 45), passed away on December 13th while enroute to New York to promote his latest book. Dr. Carlson is a world renowned expert in happiness. If you're interested in this subject, it's worth your time to read this bestseller.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-08-2007, 11:59 AM   #30
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by lazygood4nothinbum
if you are not happy with yourself neither good clergy nor good fornication will make you any happier.
Good fornication with clergy. Now THAT's where you'll find happiness. Hah!

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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-08-2007, 01:12 PM   #31
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

Yakers
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Claire, I would suggest looking into meditation.
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They found that 9 out of 10 of the most positive 25 percent of the nuns were still alive at 85, while only one-third of the least positive 25 percent were. Overall, their study showed positive emotions correlated to a 10-year increase in life span, greater even than the differential between smokers and nonsmokers.
I’ve been reading a lot about the chemistry of emotions lately. Dr. Candace Pert Ph.D. is an expert on this topic. She can translate what she has proven in the laboratory into ‘lay-speak’ so, for me, she is easy enough to follow.

Activities like meditation or getting into the ‘flow’ release different chemicals than activities like stress, fight-or-flight circumstances, anger and fear. One set builds up the immune system and the other set tears it down. Now, remember, she is speaking on a chemical, cellular level here..

So if we become exposed to a disease or the ‘flu’ for instance, it’s our immune system that can deal with this problem easily, or not, depending on its state of health.

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my buddhist monk-turned-publisher cousin told me that whenever i had trouble organizing my thoughts i should instead organize a drawer, a room, the house. that i could help control how i function internally by changing how i function on the outside
I love this. I think this approach is the same as what Karen Kingston presents in her Clearing Clutter books. Clean out the closets, the junk drawers, the garage, and presto (sort of… ) one’s life falls into a better position.. It does seem to help with the chaos in life...

Be well,
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-09-2007, 02:05 AM   #32
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

I found this blog some time ago:
http://www.happinessproject.typepad.com/

It provides lots of interesting ideas on how to do things that make you happy - and to realize that you are happy while you are.
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-09-2007, 02:36 AM   #33
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by chris2008
I found this blog some time ago:
http://www.happinessproject.typepad.com/

It provides lots of interesting ideas on how to do things that make you happy - and to realize that you are happy while you are.
Chris2008:

Thanks for pointing out the above blog. Got a good idea from it: Tomorrow I am going to the store to buy some good quality pillows to replace my old ones, which I have had for way too long and have gone flat. I'm sure I'll be a lot happier once I get some new fluffy pillows!
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-09-2007, 12:45 PM   #34
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

What a great link!

I know I'm going to enjoy this immensely in the days to come. She gives some very thoughtful suggestions. Thanks for sharing!



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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do
Old 01-15-2007, 07:39 PM   #35
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Re: Happiness and why we do the things we do

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Originally Posted by claire
how do you stop playing "mental movies" of the past when such thoughts run like an automatic train through one's head?
I highly recommend the techniques in Brian Tracey's book "Maximum Achievement."
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