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Happy letters to Bangkok Post
Old 07-07-2007, 08:28 PM   #1
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Happy letters to Bangkok Post

From the July 8 Bangkok Post

Bangkok Post: Top Stories

After you read these happy letters to the editor, you might just decide you prefer the whining ones better.
Last week in our Postbag section, a reader complained that the Bangkok Post published too many whining letters and should in future carry only happy letters, full of the joys of life. I am in complete agreement and getting into the spirit of things offer a taste of things to come in our happy letters section.

Adventures of the blob

Dear Sir: I would like to congratulate the Thai television censors for their introduction of the exciting "blob" in their efforts to help us from succumbing to the perils of cigarette smoking. They have added a new dimension to the word "entertainment" as the blob dances around the screen in search of rogue cigarettes.

I no longer have to bother listening to the dialogue or following the plot, but instead find myself caught up in the adventures of the blob. It gets particularly entertaining when there are several smokers on the screen at the same time and we are treated to all sorts of blobs bouncing around. This a particular challenge for the blob operator and sometimes he misses the odd fag end.

No longer do I feel alone when watching the TV at night because I know somewhere my friend the blob will be there to keep me company. It is also a useful reminder when I'm running out of cigarettes.

Happy Viewer

Red-light district

Dear Sir: I would like to express my appreciation of the traffic policeman who saved me a lot of money yesterday. When he stopped me, he explained that I had gone through a red light further down the road, although admittedly I didn't recall any red light.

He said that according to the law, I would have to accompany him to the police station and pay a 2,000 baht fine. When I explained I didn't have 2,000 baht, he kindly agreed to reduce the fine to 500 baht and offered to take the money to the police station himself, saving me the journey.

This is what I call acting above and beyond the call of duty. I feel so grateful to him for saving me 1,500 baht and a trip to the cop shop. If it happens every week I can save 6,000 baht a month.

Happy Motorist

Welcome to Thailand

Dear Sir: I have just received a most wonderful welcome at Suvarnabhumi airport. When I entered the arrivals area, admittedly a little weary after walking five kilometres through a shopping mall to reach the immigration counter, dozens of gentlemen in white shirts and dark trousers rushed over to greet me and offered to drive me to my hotel in a luxury limousine at a "special fare". They kindly explained that the ordinary taxis were a "rip-off" and saved me from all sorts of problems.

It was nice to feel so popular. Some were so helpful they even ran off with my suitcase. I think they must have got lost because my suitcase hasn't arrived at the hotel yet. I think the driver also accidentally took me to the wrong hotel. It's a sort of drive-in with lots of curtains and there are huge mirrors on the bedroom ceiling. Every hour a young lady knocks on the door and asks if I would like "some company". These people are so considerate, they are even afraid I might be lonely.

Happy Tourist

Pedestrian paradise

Dear Sir: I am from England and would like to say what a great experience it is being a pedestrian in Bangkok. Unlike London, where the pavements are flat and rather boring, in Bangkok there are all sorts of exciting things to experience. I love the challenge of leaping over the holes in the pavement, while at the same time avoiding being strangled by overhanging wires.

It's so exciting, especially dodging motorcyclists who have accidentally strayed onto the pavement. Occasionally someone even plunges into a hole, and I love the way everybody laughs, especially if the hole is full of water.

Another exciting challenge is crossing the road. I tried it a couple of times at pedestrian crossings but unfortunately the traffic never stopped. However I received some useful advice from a fellow pedestrian who explained that the best technique is that you simply dash across the road when you "feel lucky". What fun!

A kind police officer who saw me struggling to cross the road explained that if I get run over on the pedestrian crossing the motorist would get the blame and would have to pay for my funeral, which made me feel much better.

Happy Perambulator (RIP)

Not sounding off

I would like to thank my fellow Bangkok citizens for sharing the sounds of the city. My next-door neighbour daily turns up the volume on his stereo system so that I, too, can enjoy the full blast of Tata Young, even at three in the morning. Sometimes they even put on some heavy metal to make sure I can hear it.

Then the fruit vendors come around at dawn in the pick-up trucks with those lovely crackling loudspeakers so I don't need an alarm clock. On my way to work I love riding on the BTS Skytrain and listening to all the colourful mobile phone ring tones of the fellow passengers. Some of their conversations are quite entertaining too, especially when a young lady is having a blazing row with her boyfriend. I love it when they start shouting at one another.

Happy "Deaf" Doug

Double delight

Dear Sir: I have just toured Thailand and really feel like I am someone special. At all the national parks and other facilities I find I am privileged to pay 10 times more than local people. What an honour that is.

I asked a Thai tourist, who had just parked his Mercedes-Benz nearby, and he kindly explained the reason for the price differential is that foreigners have more money than Thais. That was a very fair explanation and when I get back home I will tell all my friends about it so they will bring more money so they can too experience that special treatment and feel really "different".

Happy Long Nose

So that's what it would be like with happy people writing in all the time. I think I prefer the whining letters.


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Old 07-07-2007, 08:50 PM   #2
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Very cut Lancelot. Gives a good word picture for the country.

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Old 07-07-2007, 09:49 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Lancelot View Post
I am in complete agreement and getting into the spirit of things offer a taste of things to come in our happy letters section.
Sounds like the novelty of Bangkok is wearing a bit thin on you, Lance... what's next, a Magsaysay residence?

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Old 07-07-2007, 11:45 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Nords View Post
Sounds like the novelty of Bangkok is wearing a bit thin on you, Lance... what's next, a Magsaysay residence?
Hey Nords,

Nah, I feel priveledged to be scammed and abused in the "Land of Smiles"

I do like the Philippines though and I've toyed with the idea of an extended visit to Madagascar...

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