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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 10:34 PM   #21
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Re: hermit tendencies?

always a bit of a loner at heart, i also enjoy the company of others. when it becomes easy for me to be painfully shy, i force myself to interact. and while i've come across some pretty creepy characters, on the whole, i've had mostly positive experiences.

i don't think there is anything necessarily wrong in being a hermit nor is being social always necessarily healthy. where one might be completely happy alone in meditation or introspection or just in watching the world turn, another might only socialize as a distraction from getting to know their own self or as a neurotic need for social acceptance.

all that matters--if anything matters--whether alone or in the company of others, is where are you happy & comfortable and are you able to explore, understand and accept yourself. because ultimately we arrive and we die alone and there's nothing wrong with that. it's simply fun, sometimes, to share.

"loneliness is a word to express the pain of being alone...solitude is a word to express the glory of being alone." ~~ paul tillich
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 10:59 PM   #22
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I'm an introvert by nature. But after four years of working from home I've had too much of a good thing.

Not seeing people all day seems to be making me more introverted and withdrawn. It has started to seem like work to get dressed and go out. And when I am out I don't like to talk to people -- store clerks, etc. etc.

Some days the only people I "talk" to are you guys. How unhealthy is THAT?
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 11:56 PM   #23
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Re: hermit tendencies?

If you will permit Hermit Couples, then we are the poster children. We live in each other's pockets, seldom separate for more than minutes by choice, but we rarely interact with other people, and are quite happy to not even leave the house for a week at a time. Invariably when we do venture out in the world, i.e. trips to the Grocery etc, we end up looking at each other at some point and one of us saying to the other something on the order of: People...You can't live wid 'em, and You can't kill 'em... Or, Simply People Really SU__! when we observe all too typical human behavior. Maybe our standards are just set too high... But I digress
Hermits we Are, and proud of it.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 08:43 AM   #24
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyM
If you will permit Hermit Couples, then we are the poster children. We live in each other's pockets, seldom separate for more than minutes by choice, but we rarely interact with other people, and are quite happy to not even leave the house for a week at a time. Invariably when we do venture out in the world, i.e. trips to the Grocery etc, we end up looking at each other at some point and one of us saying to the other something on the order of: People...You can't live wid 'em, and You can't kill 'em... Or, Simply People Really SU__! when we observe all too typical human behavior. Maybe our standards are just set too high... But I digress
Hermits we Are, and proud of it.
For the poster that was wondering about the reasons that led to one spouse dieing shortly after other spouse died.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 09:05 AM   #25
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I'm a semi-hermit. I do like my private time but need some human interaction as well. Beginning to get a little nervous about my approaching retirement, believe it or not. But not too nervous. I know when the weather becomes nice again, I will be out on the golf course with friends.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 12:46 PM   #26
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline
Not seeing people all day seems to be making me more introverted and withdrawn. It has started to seem like work to get dressed and go out. And when I am out I don't like to talk to people -- store clerks, etc. etc.

Some days the only people I "talk" to are you guys. How unhealthy is THAT?
There is a difference between being an introvert and being withdrawn just like there is a difference between introversion and shyness. I'm an extreme introvert but I'm not that shy. One of my best friends is an extrovert but she is very shy." Being withdrawn can be caused by a life situation, and depending on the circumstances and extent, may not be healthy if it interfers with your natural emotional needs.

Is it healthy to stay at home or to not like to talk to store clerks? Maybe. For the most part, an individual needs to answer this question for themselves. It may be very healthy to be a "hermit" if interactions cause a person stress and anxiety.

As for me, I like being at home alone (with pets) but I also like "getting out" for physical activity (bicycling, running, hiking, backpacking). I don't mind crowds and I don't mind being around a group of people as long as I don't have a social obligation to interact with them. One-on-one interactions are OK but one of the most agonizing things I can do is sit (be trapped) around a table and have lunch or dinner with a group of casual friends.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 12:57 PM   #27
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
Being withdrawn can be caused by a life situation, and depending on the circumstances and extent, may not be healthy if it interfers with your natural emotional needs.
That was my point...while introversion may be a normal, comfortable and healthy lifestyle, it may also be an indication of an easily correctable physical or moderately easily correctable emotional issue.

A little medical advice could help launch you into the world of having to deal with the full collection of morons, psychopaths and mental defectives the rest of us have to engage on a daily basis.

Consider how you could live a fuller life.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 03:18 PM   #28
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline
I'm an introvert by nature. But after four years of working from home I've had too much of a good thing.

Not seeing people all day seems to be making me more introverted and withdrawn. It has started to seem like work to get dressed and go out. And when I am out I don't like to talk to people -- store clerks, etc. etc.

Some days the only people I "talk" to are you guys. How unhealthy is THAT?
Unhealthy.............even an introvert needs to "get out there". Make it a game to get to know some people you see all the time..........UPS guy/gal, mailman, etc. How about a neighbor? Those are less threatening than the total body pierced red and orange dyed hair "dude" at the local market.............

But....we are always here for you.............
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 03:59 PM   #29
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Hermit couple here. I believe Fuzzy has it nailed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cute Fuzzy Bunny
That was my point...while introversion may be a normal, comfortable and healthy lifestyle, it may also be an indication of an easily correctable physical or moderately easily correctable emotional issue.

A little medical advice could help launch you into the world of having to deal with the full collection of morons, psychopaths and mental defectives the rest of us have to engage on a daily basis.

Consider how you could live a fuller life.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 06:09 PM   #30
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lazygood4nothinbum
"loneliness is a word to express the pain of being alone...solitude is a word to express the glory of being alone." ~~ paul tillich
Yeah, that was the one I had read some time ago.....It sounds a bit more profound than my butchered version.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 08:08 PM   #31
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Presumably single hermits are ok with facing life's challenges alone. Couple hermits are IMO is a more exposed position. They are not necessarily OK with going it alone; all they know is that they are OK without any help from outside their duo.

But what if one dies? Gets very sick? Loses his/her mind? Then a person who may have been very dependent on his/her partner suddenly shoulders it all alone, without any training wheels.

Emotional diversification can be just as important as financial diversification.

ha
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Old 01-24-2007, 08:30 PM   #32
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Tough for me to understand the introvert way of life. Seems like a grumpy, lonely existence to me.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 10:54 PM   #33
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
Couple hermits are IMO is a more exposed position. They are not necessarily OK with going it alone; all they know is that they are OK without any help from outside their duo.

But what if one dies? Gets very sick? Loses his/her mind? Then a person who may have been very dependent on his/her partner suddenly shoulders it all alone, without any training wheels.

Emotional diversification can be just as important as financial diversification.

ha
and your point?

(Seriously just had a huddle with the IGBW and we agreed that if you'll show us someone that without whining, complaining, bitching, and moaning, and we'll be happy to join in.) IGBW sometimes attends art classes nearly always all female (unless I go with her) and all the woman do is trash their spouses and talk about the pain and agony of their miserable lives. We just find it rare to find people to have interesting conversations with, we try to broaden ourselves with human interaction but our consistently disappointed, with the notable exceptions of those few other EXTREMELY rare people that are genuinely happy with their own lives, whose conversations and friendships we truely treasure. Unfortunately they don't live close and we aren't able to see them often.

But should either one of us go, we both know how to carry on, we lived alone before we met, ran households independently, and feel well able to take care of the other if need be, and indeed believe we have in past lives, and in the future absence of the other, the survivor will carry on in single hermit mode as before the union took place.

We just find in general we can do without the griping and afforementioned bitchin' and moanin' that the masses are prone to emit. :P
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-24-2007, 11:26 PM   #34
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
Presumably single hermits are ok with facing life's challenges alone. Couple hermits are IMO is a more exposed position. They are not necessarily OK with going it alone; all they know is that they are OK without any help from outside their duo.

But what if one dies? Gets very sick? Loses his/her mind? Then a person who may have been very dependent on his/her partner suddenly shoulders it all alone, without any training wheels.

Emotional diversification can be just as important as financial diversification.

ha
Excellent points Ha........

DW and I enjoy time alone, with each other and shared with others. We just don't like to be alone all the time, with each other all the time, apart from each other all the time, with others all the time, or away from others all the time. A variety of social situations and interpersonal interactions works best for us.

But if others need to be alone all the time, or be with others all the time, that's fine with us. Life would be boring if all our friends were alike!
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Old 01-25-2007, 12:04 AM   #35
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I like to be around most people. I'm not always sure about the posters here though.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 12:05 AM   #36
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CybrMike
Tough for me to understand the introvert way of life. Seems like a grumpy, lonely existence to me.
Sigh. We are so misunderstood.

Care to read the excellent link posted earlier by Nords? Pretty spot-on. Here it is again:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Oh yeah. Spouse and I are easily & frequently overstimulated by having to interact with the rest of the human race. Regular quiet time helps a lot.

"Caring For Your Introvert"
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Old 01-25-2007, 02:32 AM   #37
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Re: hermit tendencies?

INTJ

heh heh heh
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 04:09 AM   #38
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CybrMike
Tough for me to understand the introvert way of life. Seems like a grumpy, lonely existence to me.
People in general just tend to irritate me. (Maybe
y'all have noticed ths?) This trait is becoming
more pronounced as I age. I see cluelessness and
plain stupidity at every turn. Can hardly stand
to watch TV, for example, and radio talk shows are
not much better (Limbaugh being an exception).
My former spouse once said, "You will die an old man
alone!" I said, "God, I hope so!"

JG




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Old 01-25-2007, 08:25 AM   #39
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyM
But should either one of us go, we both know how to carry on, we lived alone before we met, ran households independently, and feel well able to take care of the other if need be, and indeed believe we have in past lives, and in the future absence of the other, the survivor will carry on in single hermit mode as before the union took place.
As a good strong introvert, I agree, but at the same time I know from the many years that I lived alone, having at least 1 important person in the wings makes a tremendous difference - even if they are not involved daily. As my DH is 10years older than I am, I expect to be left alone and wonder how I will cope. Depends on my age I suppose. But since I plan on being a rich widow, maybe I will want to attract a young plaything
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Old 01-25-2007, 09:31 AM   #40
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy


As a good strong introvert, I agree, but at the same time I know from the many years that I lived alone, having at least 1 important person in the wings makes a tremendous difference - even if they are not involved daily. As my DH is 10years older than I am, I expect to be left alone and wonder how I will cope. Depends on my age I suppose. But since I plan on being a rich widow, maybe I will want to attract a young plaything
Maybe that's my mom's plan,,,,,,,,,,,,,also 10 years younger than my dad.........
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