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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 08:10 PM   #61
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Work wasn't too bad when I was a programmer, but they went and made me a manager. I not only had to interact with more people, I had to interact in different ways depending on their relative status (contractor, supervisor, other managers, customers...).

If you're an extrovert, most of the above might make no sense to you.

If you're an introvert, you may be cringing.
I'm not cringing. I'm noding in agreement.

Email and internet interactions are much easier for me than the in person interactions (for the reasons you describe). On the internet, I can go at my own speed and edit my comments for content. In person, however, I'm on the spot. While I can give good presentations when I'm prepared, even in front of an audience of 200 people, I don't think or speak well on my feet.

I've been a supervisor of about 10 people for much of my 15 year career. This wasn't so bad because it required only about 20% of my time. The rest of my time was technical, and for the most part, I was able to shape it as I pleased. I took a management position 2.5 years ago and now almost 100% of my official time is interacting with other people. There is a lot of political postering, negotiating, etc. Not fun, at least for me.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 08:28 PM   #62
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Some of the self-declared introverts describe themselves with more extrovert traits than I have, but I don't think I'm an introvert. I'm not sure how preferring to deal with electronic alpha-numeric communication vs direct verbal communication makes someone an introvert. Some people prefer to use the telephone to direct meetings. Are they introverts too?

Quote:
Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life". Introverts tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and relatively non-engaged in social situations.
An internet discussion board is a social situation. I've always noticed that some of the self-proclaimed introvert posters are very outgoing on this board -- you might even say dominant. That just seems strange to me.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 08:58 PM   #63
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Here's the best of all the hermits:

http://images.google.com/imgres



MODERATOR EDIT: Dang, Greg. Didn't Martha teach you how to shorten a URL?
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 10:08 PM   #64
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Re: hermit tendencies?

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Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
Bravo. And most of them are on the same committees I am, which meet at 5pm .
Ichair those committees! I am known as a schmoozer, networker and smooth talking public speaker. Inwardly, I'm an INTJ. I was really shy as a kid. I have worked hard at being a good communicator because it's important for my job. But when I go to a conference I will usually skip the banquet, feigning another commitment, and take off for some much needed "me" time. I can't be "on" all the time and really need my personal space.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 10:17 PM   #65
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgeeeee


DW has coined a term for this trait as CAS (captive audience syndrome).
I call it verbal diarrhea.

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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-25-2007, 10:55 PM   #66
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Re: hermit tendencies?

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Originally Posted by Meadbh
. . .when I go to a conference I will usually skip the banquet, feigning another commitment . . .
Everybody but the current awardees trys to skip the banquet. That's because it's borrrrrring.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 10:29 AM   #67
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I was an introvert as a child, no doubt due to my difficult upbringing. However, when I got on my own, I became a different person. The change in me was so radical my friends thought I suffered a brain injury or something..........

The interesting aspect of that came in relationships. I was intimidated by extroverted women.........they "scared me". However, I was very attracted to either "damsels in distress" or introverts. DW is quite the introvert, although she has made great strides in the past 10 years...........

I "forced" myself to be more extroverted, and eventually it became a part of my personality.............
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 10:36 AM   #68
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
Like I said, extroverts do not understand introverts.
Maybe if all y'all got out more often, we would!
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 10:37 AM   #69
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude
I "forced" myself to be more extroverted, and eventually it became a part of my personality.............
Yes, I would say the 7 laughing emoticons in your post confirm that observation.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 10:59 AM   #70
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
Maybe this is a semantic problem.

Seems to me there are lots of introverts (i.e. shy folks) who nonetheless enjoy being around others. They are attentive, laugh and empathize but just don't say much.

Yeah, thats pretty much me. Kind of like Ed McMahon supporting Johnny Carson on the old Tonight Show.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 12:09 PM   #71
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I am kind of an extroverted introvert

Seriously.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 01:02 PM   #72
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donzo
I am kind of an extroverted introvert
Is that like the extroverted actuaries who go to parties and, instead of looking down at their own shoes, look down at the other partier's shoes?
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 01:22 PM   #73
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I can sympathize with Nords ... it's hard to disengage (from the internet) without being grumpy about the interruption. I believe when the wife retires in five months, we may have to go a couple of rounds about the time I spend conversing with strangers rather than talking with her.

Instead of hunting, fishing, or surfing, I get my kicks out of performing on stage (less than 50 or so hours a year.) Nothing like making hundreds of people laugh all at the same time. There is also the thrill of the moment. Those of you who have encountered severe "flop sweat" will know what I am talking about. Since I vary my jokes from performance to performance, I am always trying out new stuff. Will they like it? Will I deliver it correctly? Or will I bomb?

But before, and after the performance leave me alone. I'm pretty much lousy one on one, (except with the wife,) but I'm ok meeting and talking with strangers and interacting in a group setting for short periods of time.

We've never found a couple we can tolerate being around for long periods of time. Most of our attempts at joint vacations with relatives or friends have turned out badly. But we have a whale of time off by ourselves anywhere!. I've always considered myself to be an extrovert but am beginning to wonder. I think when I took the test I was an Extrovert, Intuitive, Judgemental and something else.

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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-26-2007, 01:37 PM   #74
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nords
Is that like the extroverted actuaries who go to parties and, instead of looking down at their own shoes, look down at the other partier's shoes?
Oh dear, that was an old but funny joke, but I heard it as "extroverted nerd, looks at his dates shoes instead of his own".
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-27-2007, 06:09 PM   #75
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Like I said, extroverts do not understand introverts.


Maybe if all y'all got out more often, we would!
don't think introverts want to be understood, especially by extroverts.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-28-2007, 04:18 PM   #76
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Confirmed hermit here. And I like it that way.

Trying to figure out the implications of hermitdom in retirement, as I am looking for a new location for a second home, and travel. I have traveled with some groups, and 2 weeks is as long as I can handle being around others- and only if it is single occupancy.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-28-2007, 07:49 PM   #77
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Re: hermit tendencies?

DW is most definitely a hermit. I personally belive this is a learned behaviour from being overly self-conscious as a child of being overweight and having a bad smile. I, on the other hand, am quite gregarious.

The question is, can these behaviours be successfully modified so we can enjoy social interaction together? Or am I doomed to a life of single interaction?
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-28-2007, 08:26 PM   #78
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by retiredbop
DW is most definitely a hermit. I personally belive this is a learned behaviour from being overly self-conscious as a child of being overweight and having a bad smile. I, on the other hand, am quite gregarious.

The question is, can these behaviours be successfully modified so we can enjoy social interaction together? Or am I doomed to a life of single interaction?
Yes, there must be a way to modify your behaviour so that you are less gregarious and therefore more like your wife. It is noble of you to recognize that enjoyable social interaction for introverts can be as simple as being in the same room together without direct constant communication (e.g., one reading a book, the other watching TV).

Oh. I misunderstood. You want your wife to be more like you. Nevermind.

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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-29-2007, 09:08 AM   #79
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
Yes, there must be a way to modify your behaviour so that you are less gregarious and therefore more like your wife......Oh. I misunderstood. You want your wife to be more like you. Nevermind.
ROFLMAO. Shawn it is a standing joke between us that we can't figure out how we ever got married much less have stayed together for 25+ years. We are absolute polar opposites. I prefer Classic Country Music and Bluegrass, she likes whatever spooge happens to be on the Top 40 at the time. I am a carnivore, she'll eat meat but could happiliy live without it. etc, etc.

The only behaviour mod I have managed to make in her in 25 years is that she LOVES to ride motorcycles, as a passenger and sightseer. No interest in becoming the pilot at all. She just wants to sit back and soak it all in while the wind whips her hair. I can live with that. At least we're doing it together.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-29-2007, 09:26 AM   #80
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Re: hermit tendencies?

A8---I admire that you are so comfortable with admitting that you're a hermit! I still am not at that level of self-acceptance (afraid that people will envision me as the Unabomber in some rural area!) but I'm working on it. Instead, I'll hedge by addressing the introversion, high sensitivity,
quietness. I think retirement will enable me to embrace who I am without any disguises, coverups, toning down, or apologies, unlike when I was working!

RetiredBop, would your wife describe herself as a hermit? And would other people? Or is it just that you're so gregarious? Sounds like you two can't get together musically---so concerts together are out, but maybe plays or some other cultural thing you can both enjoy? And you both seem to enjoy being out in the open, so outdoor activities seem made to order!
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