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hermit tendencies?
Old 01-22-2007, 10:11 PM   #1
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hermit tendencies?

Is anybody else a (near) hermit?

I read about interacting with former coworkers, about how social engagement confers a long and healthy life, about the importance of family ties...

I find human interactions to be stressful and bad for mental/physical health.

Being alone and quiet is restful and pleasing.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-22-2007, 10:33 PM   #2
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Re: hermit tendencies?

The true hermits are the lurkers who never post.

But I do find most people are more enjoyable online than in person. I like the upside of personal interaction without the downside of relationship maintenance.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-22-2007, 10:59 PM   #3
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I'll admit it I'm a hermit. Most of my activities I do alone and I enjoy it. But I still have to deal with coworkers for a while longer. They can never understand why I like to keep my door closed to my office. :
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-22-2007, 11:07 PM   #4
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is anybody else a (near) hermit?

I read about interacting with former coworkers, about how social engagement confers a long and healthy life, about the importance of family ties...

I find human interactions to be stressful and bad for mental/physical health.

Being alone and quiet is restful and pleasing.
So do your own thing and don't worry about it.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 12:26 AM   #5
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Thats a workable strategy, but may I suggest you find someone and talk to them about it? A family doctor perhaps for starters?

Many times a feeling of tranquility when alone is quite normal. Sometimes its a sign of depression.

Not saying you're nutty, but its possible
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 12:46 AM   #6
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I am kind of hermity.... I have a couple of close friends that I do things with..

I have a larger family that we do the normal get togethers etc...

But, I had a three years in London and New York with no friends... it was a bit of a problem on the weekends finding things to do as I would have liked to do them with someone else... but I do not need a lot of people to be happy..
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 02:56 AM   #7
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
But I do find most people are more enjoyable online than in person.
How true. I can't believe how articulate and sensitive I am here. On-line is an alternate reality.

I wonder what our/my daily social life will be like after I pulll the plug.
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Old 01-23-2007, 05:24 AM   #8
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Agree with most everything said so far: people can be a trial, and more so as society gets further along, and/or I get older and grumpier.

However, on line you can chose your interactions a lot easier, and the ties that potentially come from letting someone into your life are not nearly so difficult to break if you decide it was a mistake.

I guess I am hermit-ish , as I do enjoy interacting with people, but on my own terms -- people in traffic, in stores, or at work can often be a pain, and you are thrust into contact/interaction with people that in other circumstances, you would simply not chose to relate with. Thugs in almost every neighborhood now.

I am hoping that moving from this major urban area with people packed in on top of each other to a more quiet rural setting may help, but I have no illusions that small towns can't be just as full of miscreants.

I'm certainly a "good fences make good neighbors" type, with all due respect to Mr. Frost.

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Old 01-23-2007, 07:59 AM   #9
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Re: hermit tendencies?

"I'm always alone, but I'm never lonely"....

In other words, I don't need others to supply my "happiness". Not to say that those that need interaction with others are "bad" - its just not me....

- Ron
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 08:07 AM   #10
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I work in a customer service business, in a small town. I have regular office hours, but whenever someone sees me, I'm on duty. I have customers talk business with me in some very unusual places. I get calls at home on Christmas Day, I have people stop at my house on Sundays, I had someone track me down when I was working on my dad's farm one Saturday. But the worst was once I was tapped on the shoulder and asked a business question when I was a casket bearer at a friend's funeral, while the priest was talking.

A small business in a small town can suffocate you.

So, yes I have hermit tendencies. I get "peopled out" and just need to hunker down and hide. When I do go out to dinner I travel about 35 miles away so we don't run into people we know.

I know that when I ER in 8 years I'll need to move. Everyone in this small town will say "He can't retire, he's too young, that's not right!" I've heard it before....

Nice bunch of folks on this board, good to visit with you.
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Old 01-23-2007, 10:20 AM   #11
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Re: hermit tendencies?

This board has allowed me to get at least some insight into a type of person I have never known before in my life, a type of person that I probably could not even have imagined existing.

As for hermit tendencies, I am a middling misanthrope but I also need people, both in groups or individually. I get lonesome!

Ha
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:28 PM   #12
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I find stronger hermit tendencies in myself when I am not feeling well physically--when I am tired or didn't get enough sleep or have been stressed out at work or am working on some project.

But when I am feeling OK, I like to be with friends to hang out, chat, and laugh.

My favorite friends are the ones who are easy-going and cut me some slack if I disappear for certain stretches of time and do not do the relationship-maintenance work on a steady basis.
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:29 PM   #13
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaHa
This board has allowed me to get at least some insight into a type of person I have never known before in my life, a type of person that I probably could not even have imagined existing.
Are you talking about hermits who only come out online or some other "type."
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:47 PM   #14
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
Is anybody else a (near) hermit?
I read about interacting with former coworkers, about how social engagement confers a long and healthy life, about the importance of family ties...
I find human interactions to be stressful and bad for mental/physical health.
Being alone and quiet is restful and pleasing.
Oh yeah. Spouse and I are easily & frequently overstimulated by having to interact with the rest of the human race. Regular quiet time helps a lot.

"Caring For Your Introvert"
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Old 01-23-2007, 12:59 PM   #15
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Definately the hermit type. I pick friends carefully, definately prefer small groups of 1-2 over any party, and can comfortably go for days without talking to a soul.
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Old 01-23-2007, 02:44 PM   #16
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I am the type that needs regular interactions with people, but they have to be the right kind of people for me. In a general cross-section of people I find there are too many overbearing, inconsiderate types who deal with their insecurities by talking themselves up or putting others down. Too much exposure to that and I need to go hide in a cave by myself for a while.

However, any time I go more than a few days without meaningful social contact, I have a near-primal need to get out and reconnect. Humans are primates, we're social creatures. It's how we're wired.

Forums like these are great but I need real-life interactions too.
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Old 01-23-2007, 02:47 PM   #17
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy
Definately the hermit type. I pick friends carefully, definately prefer small groups of 1-2 over any party, and can comfortably go for days without talking to a soul.
That's a great thing about retirement.
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Old 01-23-2007, 07:21 PM   #18
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Khan
I find human interactions to be stressful and bad for mental/physical health.

Being alone and quiet is restful and pleasing.
The issue here is extroversion and introversion.

Extroverts get their energy by interacting with other people. After a hard week at work, a party helps extroverts recharge their minds and physical bodies. Extroverts tend to like meetings. Yap. Yap. Yap. This is enjoyment for extroverts. Introverts are the opposite. They get their energy by being alone, or at most, being with 1 or 2 very close family members or friends. Meetings, parties, or other direct interactions cause introverts to become exhausted.

The vast majority of people are extroverts (75-80%). Extroverts do not understand introverts. They confuse the introverts need to be alone with shyness, anti-social behavior, or being a hermit. They don't understand why an introvert doesn't want to go to a party or have dinner with the group and "have a good time and relax." However, these activities cause the opposite of relaxation to the introvert. They cause stress.

It is healthy to recognize and act on your own needs. This may very well mean being home alone and minimizing human interactions.
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Re: hermit tendencies?
Old 01-23-2007, 09:02 PM   #19
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Re: hermit tendencies?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn
The issue here is extroversion and introversion.

Extroverts get their energy by interacting with other people. After a hard week at work, a party helps extroverts recharge their minds and physical bodies. Extroverts tend to like meetings. Yap. Yap. Yap. This is enjoyment for extroverts. Introverts are the opposite. They get their energy by being alone, or at most, being with 1 or 2 very close family members or friends. Meetings, parties, or other direct interactions cause introverts to become exhausted.

The vast majority of people are extroverts (75-80%). Extroverts do not understand introverts. They confuse the introverts need to be alone with shyness, anti-social behavior, or being a hermit. They don't understand why an introvert doesn't want to go to a party or have dinner with the group and "have a good time and relax." However, these activities cause the opposite of relaxation to the introvert. They cause stress.

It is healthy to recognize and act on your own needs. This may very well mean being home alone and minimizing human interactions.
On another forum, I ran across a self-confessed "introvert stalker".

When an introvert needs to go away and hide, the well meaning extrovert will pursue the introvert; because after all, no one would want to be alone when upset.
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:41 PM   #20
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Re: hermit tendencies?

I'm pretty much the hermit type. Being around people is way over rated!

I thoroughly enjoy my solitude! I really like a quote that I heard a long time ago:

"Solitude is the Joy of being alone! Loneliness is the fear of being alone!" 8)

I don't recall ever being lonely! If I want to be around people, I come here to the forum. :
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