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09-25-2013, 02:32 PM
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#1
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 1,862
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His & Hers
How do you handle discretionary spending in retirement? Right now, we're still w*rking, and both have separate accounts. We don't answer to one another for our Amazon Prime habits, or gun purchases, or just one more pair of shoes, or another purse, or a box of expensive cigars, more chrome for the motorcycle, tickets to concerts with the girls, etc....
Is there a line item in your budget for money to each of you to spend without answering to the other?
We're both pretty independent souls, and I fear this will be an issue in a few years when we both give notice. Now I just roll my eyes when he buys some of these manly things that I think are completely unnecessary.
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09-25-2013, 02:39 PM
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#2
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Texas: No Country for Old Men
Posts: 50,004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SumDay
Is there a line item in your budget for money to each of you to spend without answering to the other?
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Yep.
__________________
Numbers is hard
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09-25-2013, 02:42 PM
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#3
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 13,566
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We roughly can spend up to around $50 without the other one weighing in. Above that, it is usually a joint decision. One thing is that we work pretty hard to have mostly the same expensive hobbies. Little stuff is no big deal, but if I wanted to bring a horse home, it'd be a hard sell to justify the expense when I'd be the only one enjoying it.
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“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.”
Gerard Arthur Way
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09-25-2013, 02:43 PM
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#4
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 296
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SumDay
How do you handle discretionary spending in retirement? Right now, we're still w*rking, and both have separate accounts. We don't answer to one another for our Amazon Prime habits, or gun purchases, or just one more pair of shoes, or another purse, or a box of expensive cigars, more chrome for the motorcycle, tickets to concerts with the girls, etc.... Is there a line item in your budget for money to each of you to spend without answering to the other? We're both pretty independent souls, and I fear this will be an issue in a few years when we both give notice. Now I just roll my eyes when he buys some of these manly things that I think are completely unnecessary.
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We do a monthly allowance and budget for the personal "wants".
The allowance amount is a fixed percentage of net worth, now at 0.75 %.
So if you want more, be worth more.
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09-25-2013, 02:47 PM
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#5
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Flyover country
Posts: 25,199
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Nope.
We each spend whatever we want for discretionary expenses. Something over $1K would most likely involve a little discussion, but since we're both pretty frugal in general, the occasional treat is perfectly reasonable.
DW bought me something really expensive one time (long ago) without any prior discussion, but I really, really love it and it seems perfectly appropriate.
Likewise, I bought her something really expensive this year when she formally retired, and she is extremely happy with it, so no problem there either.
Our FIRECalc runs always show that we can be spending a lot more than we do, so there is no issue here.
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09-25-2013, 02:52 PM
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#6
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 124
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We are both still working as well...
Generally, between $50 - $100, we just casually tell the other that we made a purchase.
Over $100 is usually mentioned / discussed before the purchase.
With Quicken, all purchases are accounted for, so there is no hiding anything from each other (other than small cash purchases. At Christmas, we just delay updating quicken for a while to keep the purchases a surprise).
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09-25-2013, 03:07 PM
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#7
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Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 25,302
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Usually ~$100 gets some discussion or at least mention. Occasionally one or the other will go over that but it's so rare, and there's usually a good reason, so it isn't an issue for us.
Although when she bought the chain saw that did cause me to raise an eyebrow.
__________________
When I was a kid I wanted to be older. This is not what I expected.
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09-25-2013, 03:11 PM
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#8
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 162
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We have agreed upon amounts that we both feed the basic living expenses account, the rest we're on our own. She likes her job and I like my time.
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09-25-2013, 03:13 PM
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#9
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Dryer sheet aficionado
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 36
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Great question and good idea to discuss now before you both retire. We each have an equal amount of "no questions asked" money a week. We started doing that when we got married 16 years ago and works fine for us. For other purchases we usually discuss anything over about $50.
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09-25-2013, 04:06 PM
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#10
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 241
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We've never had a firm amount. Our rule is simply "use your best judgement". That seems to have worked for the past 38 years......
__________________
MDJO
Retired at 59 1/2 and trying to stay that way.
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09-25-2013, 05:38 PM
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#11
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MDJO
We've never had a firm amount. Our rule is simply "use your best judgement". That seems to have worked for the past 38 years......
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That has been the way we work as well and it has never been a problem. We've always had joints accounts too since we agreed from the start that neither one of us liked separate accounts.
__________________
Wherever you go, there you are.
(In other words, no whining!)
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09-25-2013, 05:49 PM
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#12
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Full time employment: Posting here.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Atlanta suburbs
Posts: 898
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We budget $1k annually each for personal discretionary spending.
This is in addition to some recurring budgeting categories, like for example haircuts or DW's gym.
Quicken keeps track of it, but it would not be a big deal if one of us went over.
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09-25-2013, 05:54 PM
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#13
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 47,473
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We live separately, just a mile or two apart, and although we are together every day we don't mix our money. So, I don't have to spend my money on his guns or radios, and he doesn't have to spend his money on my video gaming consoles or artwork. Neither of us has to ask permission to buy anything.
Works for us.
We do sometimes bounce the idea off the other, just to get another perspective on whether a purchase seems like a good idea.
Back in prehistoric times before my divorce, the agreement with my ex was that both had to verbally sign off on any purchase over $50. I much prefer the present arrangement.
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Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities. - - H. Melville, 1851.
Happily retired since 2009, at age 61. Best years of my life by far!
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09-25-2013, 05:55 PM
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#14
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5,862
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No. We have always had a joint account with equal access to all monies. We never have a disagreement over spending...unless it is trying to shortlist travel plans.
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09-25-2013, 06:11 PM
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#15
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Recycles dryer sheets
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 137
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Yep, we are not retired but every two weeks we each get an "allowance" for personal spending outside of the normal needs (a new purse for DW or a new beer extract kit to brew for me). If we go over our bi-weekly amount we then "owe the bank" and that money is deducted from the next allowance distribution. We actually make a game of it and it keeps us both focused on our long term goals.
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09-25-2013, 06:25 PM
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#16
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: northern Michigan
Posts: 2,213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah in SC
We roughly can spend up to around $50 without the other one weighing in. .
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My wife and I have about the same limit. Above that, and we discuss the proposed purchase together before pulling the trigger. This has not been an issue for us.........we're both pretty frugal, and we share the same goals.
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09-25-2013, 06:33 PM
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#17
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Administrator
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N. Yorkshire
Posts: 34,056
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We have always had joint accounts including in retirement with no firm limit on expenditures but I guess we always discuss anything over about $100.
__________________
Retired in Jan, 2010 at 55, moved to England in May 2016
Enough private pension and SS income to cover all needs
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09-25-2013, 06:47 PM
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#18
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,401
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R
Back in prehistoric times before my divorce, the agreement with my ex was that both had to verbally sign off on any purchase over $50. I much prefer the present arrangement.
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I can't imagine having to be accountable to someone else for such a small amount of money as $51. I guess that's why I truly enjoy being single!
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09-25-2013, 06:48 PM
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#19
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Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,983
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We're pretty much on the same page regarding spending. The joint checkbook is in the kitchen and either of us can access it but seldom do. Most of our discretionary spending is for joint travel which is planned in advance.
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Took SS at 62 and hope I live long enough to regret the decision.
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09-25-2013, 07:06 PM
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#20
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Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota, FL & Vermont
Posts: 36,264
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan
We have always had joint accounts including in retirement with no firm limit on expenditures but I guess we always discuss anything over about $100.
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+1 We're both pretty frugal so it has never been a problem. More contentious are her spending for home improvement stuff and occasional fixer upper piece of furniture but the contention is more clutter than money.
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If something cannot endure laughter.... it cannot endure.
Patience is the art of concealing your impatience.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Retired Jan 2012 at age 56
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