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How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 04:28 PM   #1
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How did you feel the first time?

Ok, here is the problem, I'm not excited. And why is that I ask myself.

I ER'd in April, got married in May, not it is November. Every since my wife and I met in '02 we have been going to the Caribbean over Thanksgiving week every year. And we were both excited and looking forward to going.

But this year, I'm not excited. BTW she is still working in a some what stessful job, but makes good $$. She is very excited and can't wait until Friday gets here and we are on the plane.

Best reason I can come up with as to why I'm not excited, is because I'm not getting away from the pager, the cell phone, going to the office, being on call and all the stuff associated with a job.

So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired? Or how did your perspective change about vacationing after you retired? Any insight would be appreciated.

Bill
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 04:42 PM   #2
 
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Retiring might be part of the reason, but there are others also.

Are you going to the same place? - Are you already living in a warm climate? - I like the Caribbean also, but we try to go to a different island every year. We also live in Minnesota. I am not that excited to go in June, when the trout are biting here. But by February, the winter blues have set in and I'm ready for some Sun, Sand and Pina Coladas 8)

Then there is the age thing - Remember how excited you were on Christmas morning when you were 7 years old? - I am guessing that you're not that excited now.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 04:47 PM   #3
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day

So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired? Or how did your perspective change about vacationing after you retired? Any insight would be appreciated.
Bill, when every day is a vacation, you shouldn't expect to be excited about taking a trip as you were when you were a working stiff. Just like a starving person is overwhelmed by a good meal, a person who eats well all the time isn't nearly as excited about getting lunch.

I don't want to go hungry to get excited about eating, and I don't want to go back to work to get excited about taking a vacation.

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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 04:50 PM   #4
 
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

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Originally Posted by REWahoo!
I don't want to go hungry to get excited about eating, and I don't want to go back to work to get excited about taking a vacation.
Your point about a vacation is valid. But if you're not excited about travel, your doing it wrong! 8)
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 05:28 PM   #5
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day
But this year, I'm not excited....
Best reason I can come up with as to why I'm not excited, is because I'm not getting away from the pager, the cell phone, going to the office, being on call and all the stuff associated with a job.
Wait til you get there and see what happens.

I predict that as the last day of vacation approaches, and you no longer get "that" feeling you will be very excited. Not about your vacation, but about being retired.

Ya know -- damn - vacation's over - all those emails to answer - calls to return - two 12 hour days just to catch up -- all those patients (or customers, clients, whatever) who were waiting for me to get back - gotta get up early -- gotta make up the call time needed to get away for this vacation -- getting tight in the pit of your stomach just thinking about it. You get the idea.

Now, all you do is get home, and resume doing whatever you want.

Hmm - I'm making such a good case for it I'm not sure I'm gonna last the 3 more years I was planning on .
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 06:27 PM   #6
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rich_in_Tampa
Wait til you get there and see what happens.

I predict that as the last day of vacation approaches, and you no longer get "that" feeling you will be very excited. Not about your vacation, but about being retired.

Ya know -- damn - vacation's over - all those emails to answer - calls to return - two 12 hour days just to catch up
Yes, that's how I feel on vacation now. I remember about twenty years ago, DW and I used to take two week vacations in a large beach house in the NC Outer Banks. One couple would stay with us the first week and another couple the second week. It used to feel great on that first weekend when the leaving couple would be re-entering work-a-day stress and we could look forward to another whole week. The stress really dropped from about half way through week one until about two thirds of the way into week two. Then the pressures of what would be waiting at work started to build up.

Now a vacation is a vacation from day one until the last day. The most stressful aspect is wondering whether the airport will be a hassle.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 07:43 PM   #7
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day
Best reason I can come up with as to why I'm not excited, is because I'm not getting away from the pager, the cell phone, going to the office, being on call and all the stuff associated with a job.

So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired? Or how did your perspective change about vacationing after you retired? Any insight would be appreciated.
Yep - BIngo! If you're not stressed, you don't need escapist vacations so much anymore.

I thought I would do a whole lot of sailing when I retired because I enjoyed it so much while I was working. But it turned out that it was the stress relief of sailing that made it so valuable while I was working. Once I retired I was too busy doing other things and I no longer needed to "destress".

But you can still get real excited about going on a trip - it's just not the same kind of "vacation" anymore. You get excited because you are going to do something you look forward to, not because you get to run away for a short period of time.

Rich makes a great point about the downside of end of vacation being erased also.

Audrey
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 11:22 PM   #8
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

I agree with some of the others about what you are vacationing from. You are leaving leisure to go travel. It is good to get out of the house, but traveling takes effort and attention. That is more than your current situation.
When I lived in the city, I explored remote, rural areas on weekends for 20 years. After I moved to one, I stopped exploring. Didn't need a peaceful walk in the forest after moving to the edge of one. When you get what you want, you lose the incentive that got you there. That is a mixed blessing.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 11:30 PM   #9
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day
So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired?
How can you not get excited?

I mean, there's the packing. The buying of tickets. The driving. The expensive long-term parking. The flying. The unpacking. The cold you caught on the airplane. The spending of money. The stomach flu you got from the seafood. The shopping. The meaningless touristy stuff. And the packing. And flying.

OK, I guess I can see your point.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-12-2006, 11:33 PM   #10
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day
So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired?
Then maybe you should semi-retire, so at least you will feel half as good.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 07:30 AM   #11
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

It is true that after you retire, the hassles of travel seem to become MUCH more conspicuous!!!

Audrey
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 09:10 AM   #12
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

I ER'd 2 years ago.
Although I'm retired, I still feel some of the pressures of my working years, as both
wife and son are still working at my old company. Friends are still there also; so I hear about all the crap they have to put up with.
Wife is too young to retire - that's the disadvantage of marrying a younger woman.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 09:43 AM   #13
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bennevis
...Wife is too young to retire...
Nobody is too young to retire.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 09:57 AM   #14
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

I guess there's a big difference between "vacating" from a stressful worklife and "traveling" to someplace that interests you.

In a typical vacation, many people like to just get away for a week or so, to just hang out and basically relax. But if you've ER'd and you're not living a stressful worklike anyway, I can see how that wouldn't be exciting. In that case, maybe you can mix it up and next time your wife has some time off do some traveling or exploring new places. She might balk, saying that it won't be relaxing enough for her ... and since she's working you might have to accept that.

But for what it's worth, I am still working full-time and pretty much all of our time off is spent traveling and doing new things (e.g. last year around this time my wife and I took time off to help with the olive harvest on her family's farm). I still find that "relaxing" ... mentally at least!
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 10:02 AM   #15
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

When we worked camping in our trailer was a relaxing time and enjoyable. Now when the wife says lets go camping I think of all the work it is to get the trailer ready etc. Funny Guess it shows how relaxed I am now , when relaxing seems stressful. ha ha
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 10:22 AM   #16
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by audreyh1
It is true that after you retire, the hassles of travel seem to become MUCH more conspicuous!!!

Audrey
Maybe it's because the hassles of travel ARE more conspicuous!
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 10:39 AM   #17
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

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Originally Posted by Meadbh
Maybe it's because the hassles of travel ARE more conspicuous!
"Ma'am, you need a one litre Ziplok bag, not a two-litre one!"
After you retire everything seems more conspicuous

We find we are more relaxed during travel because we allocate more time to it. Reading in a waiting room instead of reading in a living room, for example. No more stresses of enjoying that treasured 2-week vacation.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 11:42 AM   #18
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

So far I enjoy my trips at least as much retired as unretired. It's nice to spend as much guilt-free time as I want planning a trip, it's nice to feel as happy the last few days of a trip as I did the first few days, and it's very nice not being distracted by work worries--or overcoming exhaustion from meeting deadlines before you left home!

I guess the difference is that now we travel; before, we took a vacation. For me, it's a happier state of being to travel.

PS--Every time I see the topic title (How did you feel the first time?), I smile and remember.
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 12:20 PM   #19
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brand New Day
Best reason I can come up with as to why I'm not excited, is because I'm not getting away from the pager, the cell phone, going to the office, being on call and all the stuff associated with a job.
So did anyone else not feel as excited about going on vacations after they retired? Or how did your perspective change about vacationing after you retired? Any insight would be appreciated.
Same here.

The benefit of this trip is that you'll have a chance to compare your experience to the previous ones where you drank heavily to forget the office, slept hard because you were exhausted, and generally couldn't appreciate things until you'd recuperated enough to take an interest in your environment. This time you'll be going in fresh!

You'll also "be there" more for your spouse, which I'm pretty sure she'll appreciate. If not you'll have a chance to go exploring on your own while she drinks heavily, sleeps hard, etc.

And your biggest hassle on the return flight will be thinking about all the laundry you'll be doing...
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Re: How did you feel the first time?
Old 11-13-2006, 12:47 PM   #20
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Re: How did you feel the first time?

I agree that a vacation is exciting in part because you get away from work. If that's why you're NOT excited now, why not "manufacture" a job to get away FROM?

Maybe a task around the house you've been avoiding? Why not tackle it and consider the vacation your "reward" for a job well done?

Kill two birds with one stone, maybe?
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